A WALK TO THE PASTURE IS MY ONLY FRIEND RAHHHHHHHHHH

had to comment on souncloud cuz this part of the song makes me float

this song makes me forget about all my problems

this song means a lot to me thank you for listening
ill get better at music i promise
꧁ ꧂

i couldn't find myself
and life is around the corner
i could probably melt
and now that i am older

i see all my friends hated me
lived a lie just for my fantasy
oblivious in all these situations
but i think i can fix them
i think i can fix them

clovers on my face
im flying so i can't even feel them
you’re my everything
but flowers only bloom every season
i cant feel my breathin
feels like my life does have some meaning
my heart feels empty
but i cant fight with my reason
fight with my reason
(x2)

is it all my fault
i just cant evolve
all these cracks in my vault and
i dont understand at all how

im breaking so easily
my mind is confused
my soul has died lethally
but that isnt news
my temples abused
the angels are teasing me
and they all accuse
that what im saying isnt true

clovers
clovers
its not over til i say its over
gotta pressure on
cant give it the shoulder
clovers
clovers
i gotta overcome this boulder
im not getting in the eye of the holder
this worlds getting colder
but im still wrapped in my clovers
wrapped in my clovers

i thought they were my friends
but they told me to my own face that they werent
i thought that I could trust her
but she threw it all away in the dirt
feeling all these emotions
the anguish
the pain
the atonement
all of my fear
and my hatred
are bolded
my body its coded
but i cant let it control me

false promises were made about me
and my hands were scarred from the thorns
placed around me from all my fears
i can see through my eyes
but my eyelids still act as a blockade around my sea of tears
is this the first act or the finale
for my new life to have past all these years
as my old reality is crushed
i try to look to the future as my mind begins to clear

clovers

Census Designated but it's just my voice

1 of 9
~
I can look in the mirror, the first time that I've done it
but my reflection never wants to look back once I am
see you again this winter, don't know if I'll be better
don't want to close this window, I'm getting scared, it's getting cold

I stayed outside the garage, don't think I'll let go this time
the quietness is the only thing I can seem to find
it's never been there before, I swear it came yesterday
if I really loved this place, I wouldn't feel it getting cold

astigmatic

4 of 9
~
don't do this again
and I won't run away
can I be a friend?
since you want me to stay
go down to the pasture
and get what you need
could you go any faster?
you're all I can see
all I want is you
don't know about it anymore
maybe it's just the shadow of being with you that I really want
but all I know is you
all I know is you
all I know is you
all I know is you

a walk to the pasture is my only friend
and I know I can never be with you again
a walk to the pasture is my only friend
and I know I can never be with you again


where is the end? where is the line?
I get it now I think I do
if it's just a dream then I'm a contortion
I get it now I think I do
where is the end? where is the line?
I get it now I think I do
if it's just a dream then I'm a contortion
I get it now I think I do

gggggrrrraaaaaahhhhhhh

Contortion dream (album version)

5 of 9
~
there's a light that I saw
somewhere in the sky
that was before I lost it
maybe it's just you
if I've wanted to die
so many times
why didn't it happen
and burn out like a star

can you see it?
I know you're scared
can you reach it?
I know you're scared
can you see it?
I know you're scared
can you reach it?
I know you're scared

think I saw it too, saw your eyes split open
at the sight of something, maybe it's just you
wanted something to save us, I lost in my own place
do you think I've always been this way, wonder if I'll start to sink

Can you see it?

3 of 9
@nishitht
~
[the nishith section]
i pinched myself, it's all too real
shattered the silence, no one noticed
echoing screams across the fields
was paralyzed and hyperfocused

accidental masochist
i’m not much of a strategist
i stood in place while watching you bleed
and after it had been evinced
ive sat and watched for hours since
and i don’t really cry but i might succeed this time

this light
did it paralyze you straight to your core?
have you ever felt that mesmerized before? (i’ll sit here and we can rot)
cause i don’t really cry but i might have to this time
so good night
it’ll go away if i just go to bed
and if it doesn’t they can take me instead (you didn’t deserve what you got)
and i don’t really cry but i might have to this time


[the quedronol section]
your body's implanted in the grass
and your shape is still engraved into my irises
I haven't been since you left, watered down all the lakes
and all that's left now when I look is your face

(you said that you wont go) the air's been
(youre the only one who knows) colder since you left
(I told you i miss you) I found you
(you toyed with me until i broke) in the snow, you said
(I cant be the person) don't want to
(id die a thousand times before) lose your tracks again
(but i always kill what i want most) but I won't run after you, not then

your body's implanted in the grass
I shot you in my sleep, you didn't notice it
I haven't opened my eyes
I watched you burn alongside
I thought i fell, guess it was a trick of the light

you could've fell into my open arms
you know I never wanted this to happen
I know ill pass it
and watch you fall, with open eyes, another time, with open eyes, another time

the air's been cold enough to breathe
I can't believe you're next to me
you always will be more than me

Fawn (with nishith)

8 of 9
~
the pasture's only down the block
it was so many miles away
used to be stuck at the fencepost
we couldn't get our hands away
I think that I saw something else
I couldn't get my eyes off it
but I think it's over for us now
cause soon I will be nothing more

it's only a walk from sudbury
as long as I can stay under the trees
as soon as you ran from somebody
you stopped running away from me
it's only a walk from sudbury
as long as I can stay under the trees
as soon as you ran from somebody
you stopped running away from me

I lost something, and I'm never finding it
am I supposed to move on? out of the woods that were beside me
and I don't think I could see you under the clouds that started moving
and the grass got all brown, I know that you'd just think it's stupid
and I don't think I could feel you, watching snow turn into water
all that I could do was watch, or maybe look for what I lost
but I know that was always useless, or maybe it was punishment
cause I never even heard you, until I fell into the lawn

I thought you were real for my entire life
but the things that I love are the ones I can't spite
cause they're gone before I know that I just can't live without them
is it too late to ask if I loved you at all?
ever since I was there I can't see anything
and you ask where I am, but all I hear is the scream
or the piece of my life that's stuck between my teeth
after 16 whole years, I finally can't breathe

sudbury (the pasture song)

2 of 9
@wowcrimson
~
I can look in the mirror, the first time that I've done it
but my reflection never wants to look back once I am
see you again this winter, don't know if I'll be better
don't want to close this window, I'm getting scared, it's getting cold

I stayed outside the garage, don't think I'll let go this time
the quietness is the only thing I can seem to find
it's never been there before, I swear it came yesterday
if I really loved this place, I wouldn't feel it getting cold

Walden (with CRIM$ON)

headphone recommend
spotify: 
https://ffm.to/3rg4qvn


lyrics:
i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

got a list of things that I wanna do when I feel just right
i wanna go outside more
cut my hair
i wanna be there

I wanna be there

schema

thank you for listening, as always

dedicated to sol, my great grandmother and martin

I’ve been thinking about the autochrome
Kids huddled on the stair by the second story window
Watching people float
Peering through the banister in my great grandmother’s

(Home)
(Home)
(Home)
(Home)

I’ve lost all self control
What compels someone to fuse their naive tongue with a metal pole
So I pray that I will moult
And this flawless flesh will free itself from skin and from

(Bone)
(Bone)
(Bone)
(Bone)

Contortion dream (album version)

quedronol

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