3 years later and this is still one of my all time favorite songs.

took a 330am listen to have this hit like a nuke

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Checkout my homie https://soundcloud.com/slothboipapi
and thanks to my brother WXLVE for everything.

Rivilin:

boot to face then im left to the ground
my hands are shaking now I turn around and face to the crowd
it’s like how did I get to this point without falling
always got a knife in my back im sick of crawling

appreciate everyone that’s always made an effort
just to reach out to me they say that my music is a blessing
but I just keep writing, this is how I cope yeah
not gonna falter im gonna take the future whole

yeah seeing my best friends fall to their old ways
I always got their back and they don’t have to owe me
cus they got mine when I come calling yeah
don’t bring up the past cus it’s always got me hurting

NPCs just give me the kick down
I got everyone I need here
vermin swarm 2021 gonna take it
fuck all the haters you know im not breaking

you wanna come at me and start making accusations
always had it out for me that’s an understatement
like fuck you, fuck them and everyone around me
never had my back when im sinking down slowly

you wanna kick me out the door making implications
then im forced to the ground with no explanation
like move back move in, take it, and don’t slip
cus this is all I got can I sink down below this

WXLVE:

everyone always looks up to me, 
but it feels like iam always drowning on self negativity
yeah, just walking through like yeah, with bleary eyes
im sick of constantly feeling like i need a new life

inside out i feel them haunting my dreams 
its time to sink or swim but im just tryna  wake from the demon within
im afraid these visions are real the man with no names closing in
with brothers close by side ill try not be eaten alive

$lothboi:

RIVILIN
THEY HEAR OUR PAIN
KNIVES IN OUR BACKS WHILE WE CHASE OUR DREAMS

FUCK ALL THIS
ANXIETY
PAIN AND SIN JUST FUCKING FOLLOW ME

Sick of pain, issa fuckin loop
I ain’t want to die, so I’m calling you
Just pay no mind, to my fucking moods
It’s unstable times, I CANT FUCKING CHOOSE

Why do I betray
Myself everyday
Minute I’m awake
I DIG A FUCKING GRAVE

Brothers FT.  WXLVE X $LOTHBOI

Check out my homie: https://soundcloud.com/mefumetto

Lyrics:

Rivilin:


watch the jaws of hell open up for me
falling further down I see the shadows speak
gashes on the side of my cheek I feel the poetry
of all the words you couldn’t say and now the hatred breathes

the bruise marks on my face get darker though
you don’t wanna understand how I sunk this low
medicated on SSRIs just to cope
try to think of memories of you i didn’t loath

i guess the hesitation in your eyes show you don’t care
im grasping onto desperation pulling out my hair
i guess it shows the reasons why you never wanted me
ill hang this noose when you say you want something i cant be

take take from below the ghosts they’re after me
crawling at the scars on my neck im freaking out you see
panic attacks rest deep inside the anger dwells beneath
the red it blinds my vision and im groveling on my knees

--
Ｍｅｆｕｍｅｔｔｏ:

And I got stuck on your lies
It's getting hard to breathe
And I know that I want you but your not what I need
And all of it collapses on my shoulders, I feel weak - I feel weak
Hold my hand when I fall to dust - when I fall to dust
And I'm closing my eyes and letting me go
I only feel like I'm being alone in the end
So let me just fall, let me just die
I lost so much so I don't even mind

FireBloom FT: Ｍｅｆｕｍｅｔｔｏ

life changes he’s not coming back again
im not him, so why should I have to pretend
im not losing, im just falling down
im doing fine, im ye, im gone

it’s in stages times just a blur
im living in the background unheard
is this what it’s like to withdraw
You’re outside my house, crash through the door

It’s outstanding, reprimanding but you say it’s all the same 
when you play this game it’s up to you 
sitting on the rock in the south beach back then
look me in the eyes, say it’s not working

let’s end it, not mend it, 
toxic behavior takes hand and you just leave
smile at me and say your alright, 
don’t worry im doing just fine

drowning in alcohol, listen here take the toll
im just here growing old, fires low, running cold
burning at both ends losing sleep
I opened up, you just make me weak

no sleep, no end
ups and downs, lose friends
you say that you have changed
I say that we’re stuck on repeat

yeah yeah ulcers building in my fucking mouth from the stress of this
I don’t really understand so I just want to fucking quit
spitting out blood on the daily you made 
into something I just can’t forgive

is it selfish to blame you for being suicidal?
I know its fucking pathetic but it’s hard to swallow
the fact that you fucking gaslighted me 
until I didn’t understand who I was

most days I didn’t wanna wake up and sometimes I still don’t
I was living on a pile of drugs I wake up and I choke
on a mouthful of my fucking own vomit 
it took me here to realize that you fucking weren’t worth this

yeah so fuck you and fuck your fake friends
always talk behind our fucking backs
and you started to pretend that everything was fucking fine
but it wasn’t so I took my chances and I fucking left

OUTSTANDING

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Is this real-life girl? 
This shit doesn’t feel right girl 
I could never go back 
Leave it all in the past babe 
I think I’m exhausted 
Baby I feel so nauseous 
I will give you my life 
Baby it’s not a problem 
I will… 
Give you all I got, give it all I got 
Until we’ll be enough 
Until I turn to dust 
Give you all I got, give it all I got 
Until we’ll be enough 
Until I turn to dust 

Crash two lines 
Meet the mirror with a blank stare 
Heard your voice, envision you but you’re still not there 
Looking around for something I’ll never find, I 
Wasted time with feelings and getting high 
But I love that shit 
Man I love that shit 

Old jacket 
Same number 
I’m a lost cause kid 

Old problems 
New habits 
Ima cross my wrists 
Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel 

I’m sorry my baby for any inconvenience 
Know that when I tell you I love you that I mean it 
Lookin to the sky for an answer or the meaning 
I tried to stay away 
This time ima stay away 

Is this real-life girl? 
This shit doesn’t feel right girl 
I could never go back 
Leave it all in the past babe 
I think I’m exhausted 
Baby I feel so nauseous 
I will give you my life 
Baby it’s not a problem 
I will…

leave it all in the past (ft. yung shannon)

MUSIC VIDEO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVrDiScuBpk

Diamonds ( prod. LCS)

blessed with stress, am I’m doing fine,
won’t you say that  your here for me
won’t you say you'll always be mine

thinking you will leave me this time
it’s not that I just don’t trust you
it’s more that I have my own issues to

obsessed with not coping, 
cus I feel like I’m just hoping
that you will message me again
say that we’re all fine in the end

but you won’t, cus I’m drowning on every word that I’ve tried to say
pushing them back and forth, everything is making my brain go insane
shaking on the daily, breaking down everything's just changing
don’t feel much lately anymore because  you have my fucking soul

and I’m  sick of this, constant back and forth between this
emotion that ins my chest, it’s hardening, I feel like I’m just crumbling
but I don’t feel like I have a choice, 
cus I’m justing fading in the background everything around me is making to much noise

I just need to to find some space,  
I just need to change the pace
of everything
cus its moves to fast 

at this point, I don’t ill ever grow up,
I think I’ve passed the point of no return
waking up everything hurts

so ill just stay alone again in my room
cus I don’t feel like I need to leave, I don’t think I should talk to you

23;anxiety

you break again, you lose control
your friends they’re fake, they’ll take you whole
this feeling will never end
I feel like I’ve lost again

you break again, you lose control
your friends they’re fake, they just want your soul
it’s not like I can’t pretend
won’t you just break me again

this depression comes in separate stages
feeling manic, your losing patience 
of me and this situation again 
it’s just all inside my head

thinking you have died
thinking I’m alright
but I’m losing to circumstances again
crashed my car, I’ve gone unfed

losing weight like no tomorrow
I’m that skeleton you borrow
staying high to deal with sorrow
what’s the point of this?

between you and me?
I guess I don’t want to feel a thing

this depression comes in separate stages
feeling manic, your losing patience 
of me and this situation again 
it’s just all inside my head

thinking, your alive,
thinking we’re alright
but we’re not,
cus you only ever visit me inside my dreams

surrounded by four walls, 
everything is just moving and breathing
you don’t care anymore
my worst enemy is myself

cus I need to leave,
to change up again
won’t you just 
let me rest my head

Stages

changing paths, I’m losing my way, all inside my dreams again
I miss you baby girl so won’t you come and save my world
I’m sick to death of being alone, what did I do, I was wrong
my clouded thoughts don’t come to words, what’s the point now that your gone

sing about you in these songs, I’m so fucked up I don’t belong here
anyway smoke another bowl ill just pass out.
waking up to sun fall, everything is all gone
I think I’m doing fine, maybe ill wake up in another timeline

everything is all right, no more suicide, no
I don’t wanna see the death of my friends in this world again
cus it’s too much to take, it’s to my to fake
just put on another smile, ill wear that mask until my grave

waking in the break room, turn around to see you
but you're looking straight through me again
crippled by emotions, no notions of lust ahead
maybe this is love, but I’m frozen, eroding till I meet my end 

changing topics in my head, these thoughts they race I can’t pretend
that I’m okay, but I’m just fading in the background, it’s here ill stay
these walls, its were I just hide, listen to you, watch you cry
rush of emotions in my head, why did you choose them over me

looking at the good memories they don’t outweigh the bad ones
looking over corners, watching you sink in the shadows, tear me apart

changing paths, I’m losing my way, all inside my dreams again
I miss you baby girl so won’t you come and save my world
I’m sick to death of being alone, what did I do, I was wrong
my clouded thoughts don’t come to words, what’s the point now that your gone

sing about you in these songs, I'm so fucked up I don't belong here
anyway smoke another bowl ill just pass out.
waking up to sun fall, everything is all gone
I think I'm doing fine, maybe ill wake up in another time

Coming to terms with death was never my expertise
boarding up what i called home, body frail, im so weak
you've been dragging my casket on your back for so long,
I dont blame you for leaving, I just never thought you would.

Timeless

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

can you see me from the bottom
even though the waters shallow I still feel as if it’s above my neck
does it hurt you to see me suffer
does it hurt you at all can you feel a thing

I see father, im so sorry
I see mother, please don’t worry
because the medication didn’t seem to work I couldn’t get my head straight
dreams of overdosing, shallow breathing, no it’s too late

I see the rain start to pour when I think of your name
I feel the pain when you call, say you’re here with my friend
explosions of infinity say it’s all in my head
astral projects of where I could be happy, no im not happy at all

No, don’t cry out my name, no fuck you this is it
im not who I want to be, but I know when to quit
engrave your tales in my veins just to say you want him
im ripping out my own flesh just to say I forget, no I won’t forget

theirs a face staring back at me, 
yeah what, what does it want from me
it doesn’t speak, it just follows me
everywhere I go, yeah everywhere I turn

in the shadows always consuming
my thoughts always presuming
that maybe one day I will just take a step 
And just learn to breathe

so tell me does get better than this
I don’t even know, you don’t even know so why do I ask
maybe cus im holding on by a thread
and secretly im hoping it gives

so then you can just watch me fall
until I hit the water and let the ocean sky just consume me

Remedy

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

foggy streets don’t remember a thing yeah
silence just blast in my ears I can’t think yeah
aimless wandering around  just to make sense
of my mental state yeah I am fucked

constantly chased by manifestations of my past
it’s like you have my organs mixed up yeah it’s wrong
so where do I go yeah where do I see
I don’t really know much yeah about me

hearing rusted bearings yeah squeak in the fan frame
two new pair of wires wrapped in my ribcage
feel a bit shit yeah don’t know how to cope man
don’t make sense how I ended up this way

feel the wires cutting my back and it’s not fair
hospital beds just push till I break yeah
theirs a smile on your face when you lock that door man
push me to the floor and  you say ill get better

now im just fucked up lost trust in my own head
in an apartment with dark thoughts yeah they’re closing in
1996 with a mouth full of lead yeah
who the fuck am I yeah I don’t know who I am

wake up cold sweats take a few more meds
lockdown lose touch yeah your not my friend
till I find peace 
in my own hell

im shaking im changing am I the one who’s dead
lost reality when I sit in my head
I’ve been flailing down falling in is no end
if I sink any lower ill lose my chance

lost my way no im not gonna mend
push me away yeah maybe it is for the best
yeah truth be told I already hate myself
til you find out I don’t exist

yeah so hang me up with the noose yeah ill kick me off
it doesn’t really matter cus I wake up lost
strapped to a bed where I can’t really breathe
life’s just mundane yeah its fucking bleak

rusty fences trap me like a birdcage
looking after me cus I break like sticks yeah
waking up in another location not free
I don’t really know much yeah about me

Don't Care

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

you know its a pity 
chin up yeah you know life’s pretty shit
white powder on my nose I said id quit 
racking up, racking up in bathroom stalls till I just vomit

I found myself in self-destruction 
pushing you away with a grin on my face
cus id rather get better on my own than drag you through hell
get caught in the tide you’ll drown in the swell

do I stay here, if I pop a few tags will I get some serotonin
what’s the point of that when I look in disgust at the mirror-like you gotta be joking
yeah if I walk away will I get better and fix my mental state
yeah you know i won’t cus i sink sink sink

RipThePetals

Tell me you love me, but you smiling more with him
Tell me you want me, but your spending more time with him
Suicide runs deep in my veins, you only call me when your high or alone, so im gone

Dirt road
No home
I felt you body and baby your so cold

Glass bones
Baby im fragile
Im crying this pillows wet, i'm trying to go home

Rivilin

even if I had 100 grand on my face yeah id still feel like shit
it’s hard to see the future right here when everything’s covered in a blanket
so’ll take some more of that oxycontin sinking below and I’ve passed the bottom
having conversations with my soul yeah he said he hated me

trapped in a dark place like im sitting in my own head looking through the mirror
my body parts moving back and forth like why I don’t control a thing
dissociated most of the time. ye like im gonna be, gonna be sick
feeling like this tunnel vision won’t ever go awa-, go away

RipThePetals

I'm a pretty crier and you a petty lier
I hate you face, but fuck I wish that it was back in my bed

I'm a lone survivor in this world so cold
I had a heart of gold, and than you sold it for prescriptions i guess

Just tell me that your ok
I promise I will let you know i’m alright

I'm alright with you and your alright with him
I’ve got these problems I gotta let go

I'm so alone
Nowhere to go

I'm alright with you
This jealousy, get the fuck out my mind

SWELL FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

23;anxiety

Rivilin

Recent comments

Jimmy Dresher

depressoneko

sad.shadow 👤

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