absolute melancholy wrapped in a ball of perfection -- you

life changes he’s not coming back again
im not him, so why should I have to pretend
im not losing, im just falling down
im doing fine, im ye, im gone

it’s in stages times just a blur
im living in the background unheard
is this what it’s like to withdraw
You’re outside my house, crash through the door

It’s outstanding, reprimanding but you say it’s all the same 
when you play this game it’s up to you 
sitting on the rock in the south beach back then
look me in the eyes, say it’s not working

let’s end it, not mend it, 
toxic behavior takes hand and you just leave
smile at me and say your alright, 
don’t worry im doing just fine

drowning in alcohol, listen here take the toll
im just here growing old, fires low, running cold
burning at both ends losing sleep
I opened up, you just make me weak

no sleep, no end
ups and downs, lose friends
you say that you have changed
I say that we’re stuck on repeat

yeah yeah ulcers building in my fucking mouth from the stress of this
I don’t really understand so I just want to fucking quit
spitting out blood on the daily you made 
into something I just can’t forgive

is it selfish to blame you for being suicidal?
I know its fucking pathetic but it’s hard to swallow
the fact that you fucking gaslighted me 
until I didn’t understand who I was

most days I didn’t wanna wake up and sometimes I still don’t
I was living on a pile of drugs I wake up and I choke
on a mouthful of my fucking own vomit 
it took me here to realize that you fucking weren’t worth this

yeah so fuck you and fuck your fake friends
always talk behind our fucking backs
and you started to pretend that everything was fucking fine
but it wasn’t so I took my chances and I fucking left

OUTSTANDING

Producer Credits : Andy Sorenson & whxami

save yourself

RiverKinn
"Recollide"
Produced by RiverKinn

--------------------
After the damage that you've dealt
You have the nerve to step back in
And interfere with all my plans
I know you miss the way it felt
When I gave into your impossible demands
But you won't convince me again
That you and I could recollide
As if I wouldn't recognize the warning signs
And maybe this is the end
But if I die at least I'll never have to live a lie
With blood on my hands

Blood on my hands
With blood on my hands
With blood on my hands
At least I'll never have to live a lie
With blood on my hands
Blood on my hands
With blood on my hands
With blood on my hands
--------------------

"KINTSUGI"
12 Track Album
Produced by RiverKinn

STREAMING:
SPOTIFY: bit.ly/kintsugiSP
APPLE MUSIC: bit.ly/kintsugiAM
OFFICIAL SITE: riverkinn.com/kintsugi

@riverkinn

PLAY DEAD MMXXI

Kintsugi

Recollide

RiverKinn
"Heated"
Produced by RiverKinn

--------------------
Yeah, I want it
But I don't need it
And now at times
I wish the memories could be deleted
I think about the way
You left me feeling so defeated
You're just another bad decision
That I keep repeating
It's got me heated
Like I'ma be the one to keep the fire stoked
Got some issues
But my condition was never diagnosed
Try and cope
Refocus my vision to kaleidoscope
Only know a few that treated me the same
When I was broke

The lack of signal had me disconnected
I'll admit that most my energy was misdirected
I couldn't take responsibility or see the blessing
Now I recognize that it was only my perspective
In the mirror I respect the man I see reflected
Took the weight up off my back and now I'm decompressing
Always begging for a sign but never heed a message
No insurance on my life, I had to repossess it

I've been under the impression
You still think about me
But I don't have any reason
To believe assumptions
I've spent hours in confession
What a waste of effort
Guilt of a criminal
I gave it all and escaped with nothing

I've been under the impression
You still think about me
But I don't have any reason
To believe assumptions
I've spent hours in confession
What a waste of effort
Guilt of a criminal
I gave it all and escaped with nothing
--------------------

"KINTSUGI"
12 Track Album
Produced by RiverKinn

STREAMING:
SPOTIFY: bit.ly/kintsugiSP
APPLE MUSIC: bit.ly/kintsugiAM
OFFICIAL SITE: riverkinn.com/kintsugi

@riverkinn

PLAY DEAD MMXXI

Heated

AMV ON IDLEGLANCE

COMPLICATED

Thank You For Everything

How do I relive a life again
I dont know if I'll redeem my sins
We lasted like diamonds in the rough
Dark days, nearly lost my head
Hey you have begun to escape this
Pain thats seeping through
With no eyes at my witness
I could end it too

What if I begin to lose
And I'm slowly giving up
When I know its not enough

It's not enough to replace it
This hole inside my chest
When every thought is invasive
Breaking down in my regret
I've been surrounded by faces
Strangers I don't recognize
But nevermind, you were never mine
I think its for the best
I need to let it die

I'm losing it all for you
I've never felt so consumed
The life that we had secure
Was our chance
To be so much more
Hey baby I don't feel so good
Keep saying gave it all I could
If 10 years is before I die
I'd still give you all my time

It's not enough to replace it
This hole inside my chest
When every thought is invasive
Breaking down in my regret
I've been surrounded by faces
Strangers I don't recognize
But nevermind, you were never mine
I think its for the best
I need to let it die

Days Gone ft. Riverkinn

Produced By Discent
Artwork By : https://www.instagram.com/swedish_weirdo/

Lyrics

I'ma Die Alone Yeah I Know
Please Don't Let Me Go , Let Me go
I'm Not Scared Of Death 
But Leaving Things Behind
That Shit Scares Me , That's What's On My Mind

I'ma Die Alone Yeah I Know
Please Don't Let Me Go , Let Me go
I'm Not Scared Of Death 
But Leaving Things Behind
That Shit Scares Me , That's What's On My Mind

You're Depressed Take A Pill For Me
The Doctor Told Me , Yeah He Told Me
But It Don't Work, It Never Works 
No One To Talk To, It Fucking Hurts

I'ma Die Alone Yeah I Know
Please Don't Let Me Go , Let Me go
I'm Not Scared Of Death 
But Leaving Things Behind
That Shit Scares Me , That's What's On My Mind

I'ma Die Alone Yeah I Know
Please Don't Let Me Go , Let Me go
I'm Not Scared Of Death 
But Leaving Things Behind
That Shit Scares Me , That's What's On My Mind

Death

Stream On Spotify

Yeah, Yeah

burning in my fingertips yeah im lonely
tell me what ya feel when you hold me
carving holes in my stomach, 
codeine rupture, everyone’s panicked, there’s no closure

freezing in my bones, say you love me
whats it means when you push me down slowly
waking in my bed and your not their
I guess this is what love is meant to be

lying in another tongue 
people all around me everything feels numb
Lovan, Zyprexa, they’ll tell ya that it’ll fix ya
turning pages in medicine when your mind just doesn’t make sense

I feel like no one really ever gets me
swallowed by just the blackness of anxiety
four walls surround me they close,
remember I found you cold

yeah no wonder that I can’t stop the shaking
memories they plague me and im always mistaken
with the words that I use to say when you were around
but that doesn’t matter anymore when your buried 6 feet underground

drugged up messed up biting on your lips
eyes shut lose touch, claim your life’s a miss
yeah I know it sad to see you go
but I just can’t blame myself for you anymore

burning in my fingertips yeah im lonely
tell me what ya feel when you hold me
carving holes in my stomach, 
codeine rupture, everyone’s panicked, there’s no closure

freezing in my bones, say you love me
whats it means when you push me down slowly
waking in my bed and your not their
I guess this is what love is meant to be

you just watch me fall down, its nothing new
im writhing with disgust, keep me alive to im brand new

NOTHING NEW

IT’S THAT RED LIGHT, YOUR BODIES SO LIGHT
I SEE YOUR PRETTY HOLLOW CHEEKS, CIGGERRATES, AND THAT SAD SMILE
BUT YOU’RE NOT ALRIGHT, YOU HANG THAT NOOSE TIGHT
YOUR HITTING UP MY PHONE, BEGINNING IN TEARS, ROCK UP OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE 

AT HALF PAST MIDNIGHT, MY LUNGS ARE AIRTIGHT
YOU KISS ME ON THE CHEEK AND PULL ME IN YOUR LIPS HIT ME 
LIKE A WAVE OF FROSTBITE MY LOVE YOU REWRITE
I WAKE UP IN YOUR BED IN THE MORNING I KNOW YOU JUST WANT ME TO LEAVE

SO WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME, I NEVER KNOW
WRITING SONGS ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU NEVER SHOW
I HATE IT SO MUCH BUT YOU KNOW I ALWAYS COMES BACK
I GAVE YOU ALL MY LOVE BUT THEN YOU SAID THEIRS NO STRINGS ATTACHED

I SHOULDN’T BE SCARED OF HURTING YOUR FEELINGS NO
BUT PICTURING YOU SAD JUST HURTS MY SOUL
I TRY TO PACK MY BAGS AND LEAVE THIS TOWN
EVERYONE JUST REMINDS ME OF YOU

HUNG UP LIKE THE REST OF YOUR EX BOYFRIENDS YEAH
PUSH IT TO THE NEXT THEN TO ME WHEN YOU DONT CARE
LIVING IN A MESS STUCK ON PAUSE WHEN I CANT MEND
ALWAYS TRY MY BEST, BUT YOUR LOVE, NO YOU DONT SHARE

STRIKING UP A CONVERSATION BUT I KNOW YOU HATE ME
POINTING OUT MORE ACCUSATIONS THEN YOU SAY YOUD DATE ME
MIND IS FILLED WITH HESITATION CUS I KNOW YOU'LL BREAK ME
ILL COME BACK IN DESPERATION KNOWING YOU WON’T LOVE ME

I AM NOTHING

prod. @darcybaylis
mixed by me

lyrics:

Convince myself
everything changes, 
I bid farewell
to all our exchanges, 

I don’t feel well
Maybe it’s fading
but I can’t tell
It’s slowly degrading 

And still I try,
it’s still important, I’ll make it right
choke my disorder, it’s worth the fight
I’ve been an absorber, the pain I write
is making it harder to sleep at night 
And still I try 

I’m drowning 
Alarming
I pay the price amounting
I’m counting
I’m shouting
This wasn’t meant to happen 

I decide to pay the price,
Convince myself it’s in my mind,
survive it every single night,
I close my eyes and see the light 

Convince myself
everything changes, 
I bid farewell
to all our exchanges, 

I don’t feel well
Maybe it’s fading
but I can’t tell
It’s slowly degrading

MUSIC VIDEO

Convince Myself (prod. Darcy Baylis)

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

CHECK OUT MY HOMIE https://soundcloud.com/vishisdead 

im not perfect yeah I know that
im not worth it, you love to say that
im not much but I try my FUCKING best
but you keep keep, taking you keep keep, breaking me

im just the kid in the, in the background
you don’t wanna understand now that the pains found
always self-absorbed in your own issues
you never cared about me you only cared about you

Yeah, watch my skin dissolve into the, the hell below 
yeah im staring straight through, and I see, I see my soul
being torn by the hooks of the, the ones i love
im sick of being stretch between this chronic fatigue always feeling empty

no one wants to understand what its like
when you fucking can’t get out of bed no your a lost cause
chuck me to the side like im just one of your pawns
until I have the balls to fucking kick the fucking door close

I have no appetite for this yeah
wrap your arms around my skin then kiss
all the bone sticking out of my flesh
im sick of being this way when self-hate is the game

you make me sick thinking love is all bliss
when you’re the reason that im a fucking mess
push your nails through my hands and crucify me
I guess my mother was right hell is inside of me

VISHISDEAD

You think i'd like looking in from outside
Cause, i've been doing this shit for all  my life
yeah it's all my fault, why do i even try
Cause when they break my skin my tears won't fly

well hey mumma what were thinking you put me out there
nothing's ever easy and this life's unfair 
I graved my shins, nobody cared

hold on gotta think this back, you left me with the world on my back
18 with a dream and voice ain't nobody loved me had to leave it to choice
no human has ever to haunt you
cause they were the ones that once loved you
and even now when you're facing crowd, and hugging your ropes but no you wont back down



I don't really know about this
can you look me in the eyes, can you tell me it's alright
I don't, I don't really know about this
for the last time, this will be last time

Appetite FT. Vishisdead

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

I AM NOTHING

Rivilin

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