https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

push the curtains back my skin starts to unravel
It’s not like ill fucking be missed
take some pills and enter bliss
where fogged walls cloak everything and my bed is the abyss

back then I was trapped in hell 
and I couldn’t fucking tell what was real and what was fake
yeah I thought you were my friend, guess the drugs got the better of you
I had to let  you go I had to leave

you were fucking like a brother to me
we watch the wolves in the woodwork chase after the pieces of my soul
face first hit the concrete 
my eyes snap open just another nightmare will I wake again
just to find reality isn’t really like fucking hell is this a joke
this is not fucking funny anymore

Every day this lifeline gets a little thinner
hold on yeah just wait a minute throwing up what’s left of dinner
sick of fucking feeling but that is not what I want
I just want to say that I am happy

trauma leaks from those red eyes
if you cant understand would you grab my arm and drag me out alive
fogged up your just a dead mind
yeah dissociated at fucking best 

I feel like I am crawling out of lab x 16
poltigiest controlling me with memoroies
im in the old woods by the doctors’ house
feel like im out of control can you look into my eyes and say that you remember me

The One You Hate

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin
show my homie some love: https://soundcloud.com/khode-248149108

Rivilin:

fingertips purple and numb
I guess the glass is half full
just so empty and glum
separations never easy

I never thought I could hate you so much
dance with the devil down low
im by myself here a lot
this nightmare is all my own

so what the fuck did I do to deserve this can you tell me, no
burning cigarettes into my hands prepare for hell then loathe
knowing my existence is nothing more than a fucking joke
tearing at my skin, can you just fuck off oh

watching your eyes sink into this emptiness I call a soul
they say the abyss stares back when you look at someone with no hope
on my fucking deathbed cellulitis up my neck, don’t call
never heard a word from you, you left me in a shallow whole

this emptiness is more than enough
im fine here alone,im fine by myself
this thing we call love is never enough
you take watch you want and leave me torn up

northwestghost:

Nether Ft. northwestghost

@rivilin

Lyrics

I feel like an idiot
Like every single word that out coming out my mouth is shit, lately

I ain't talking its a bitch
Cuz every single word I'm just depressing all my friends, shaky

I ain't wanna face this
Demons in me got a lot of faces
Oh no no

Mental state is straight shit
Some days I aint really think I'll make it
Oh no no

I know they wanna see me on a stage
But know that I am terrified when eyes are on my face

They say my music saved the day
But every single day I struggle with anxiety

I used to want my shoes yeah
But now I'm standing here and fuck my head is still same

Thought it would've changed shit
But now I realize that happiness needs pain

Yeah so won't you tell me what do I mean to you
I guess im nothing I have a feeling I was used
Am I disgusting, sometimes we have to face the truth
I know im nothing, so you drain me out to be reused

You love to cut me down so you know I won't leave you 
Till he comes back around and you love to say we're through
I wanna spit you out when will I learn the truth
Im sick of screaming awake here's a big fuck to you

Cus I am done with being on the low why you gotta hide me so
like are you just embarrassed of me, I feel like I am nothing
I hear your ex-best friend talk about how much your happier
That's fucking unfair when you left everyone in the gutter

I guess it's time I moved on and just learned to fucking grow
I know I hurt a lot of people on this path you sowed 
For me and my best friend, didn't know what love really was
I can't just blame you for everything but the drugs were your fault

I felt like I was euthanized laying on the cough half alive
Stuck in a tunnel vision overthinking trapped in my mind
Makes me feel like im redundant never wanna be by my side
You woke me up at 2 am to watch your veins just collide

How do you think it makes me feel watching a suicide attempt
You know it fucked my mental state you watching me with contempt
Like was this my fucking fault I always tried my fucking best
I knew I wasn't enough I took my chances and I left

Yeah so won't you tell me what do I mean to you
I guess im nothing I have a feeling I was used
Am I disgusting, sometimes we have to face the truth
I know im nothing, so you drain me out to be reused

You love to cut me down so you know I won't leave you 
Till he comes back around and you love to say we're through
I wanna spit you out when will I learn the truth
Im sick of screaming awake here's a big fuck to you

I Guess I'm Nothing

⸸ spotify ⸸

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - I Guess I'm Nothing

FREE$LAVE - I MAKE NIGGER MUSIC

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

yeah I never meant to be this way
always shutting down never reaching out with the words I need to say
I could use a friend right now
I just need someone to pick me up so I just don’t drown

can’t rely on others im just let down
just pretend it’s fine until I breakdown embrace hell
I feel like I’ve been here before
never really winning just pushing on to the next day

attending funerals where I can’t remember the names
maybe ill see myself laid to rest here and then ill fade away
cus these thoughts don’t make sense to me never filled with energy
anger seems to take control when I think of my families name

no matter how much I hate you I hate myself more
just the fact that I can harbor this just breaks at the soul
so if you could tell me how to let go of this misery
would you come, would you come and set me free

im worthless, so pick me up, pick me up, pick me up, and then you say
it’s hurting, so what’s it now, what’s it now, issues seem to find me how 
im worthless so pick me up, pick me up, pick me up and light the match
im burning, just to bring me down, bring me down, I open up my souls yours now

so what did I have to say
to make you hate me and turn things this way
my heart is like a river but it’s dried up
burnt at both ends till the fire just consumes us

yeah so how do I explain to a family that doesn’t understand
the sunlight passes through the shutters burn my irises again
cus im introverted, not worth don’t wanna go outside
mind is lurking on topics ill and say im fine

you can see pass through the fake smile
Yeah would you like to understand it even if it’s for a while
it’s like there are fishing hooks inside my skin
yeah when everything is doing fine you reel me in

searching through my pockets like what’s the point there’s no money there
roll the last of my tobacco cus id rather breath it than the air
my gums are an astray why did I expect to stay
walk into another home just to be kicked out again

Worthless

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

I wanna see you smile but I keep that on the low
I wanna make you mine yeah but you already know
that your wasting time yeah I take that as a blow
your knuckles hit the spine and now im passed out on the floor

you love to cut me down but you keep that on the low
you hate it when i leave but you keep begging for more
this isn’t love its fire and your burning at my soul
i try to win this time, but i keep begging for more

Ripthepetals

I’m over these meds and all the bitches in my fucking bed
I fall in love too easily
I'm over all of these texts that say you flaking to him, its so hard to say I want company

It's just another life I guess
Another fucked mistake my soul made
It's just another life i fucked up, baby im fucked up, give me a break

Rivilin

yeah it’s like my best intentions never seem to go to plan they’re just mistakes
you're just a toxin in my skin medicated to forget
im popping tags for serotonin always know it don’t work
so you lay me on a pedal stool to try make me feel like im worth it

but you know its toxic, don’t you know it fucks with chemicals
plagued with awful memories so im just forced to forget

Ripthepetals

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

KEEP ME ON THE LOW FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

you know its a pity 
chin up yeah you know life’s pretty shit
white powder on my nose I said id quit 
racking up, racking up in bathroom stalls till I just vomit

I found myself in self-destruction 
pushing you away with a grin on my face
cus id rather get better on my own than drag you through hell
get caught in the tide you’ll drown in the swell

do I stay here, if I pop a few tags will I get some serotonin
what’s the point of that when I look in disgust at the mirror-like you gotta be joking
yeah if I walk away will I get better and fix my mental state
yeah you know i won’t cus i sink sink sink

RipThePetals

Tell me you love me, but you smiling more with him
Tell me you want me, but your spending more time with him
Suicide runs deep in my veins, you only call me when your high or alone, so im gone

Dirt road
No home
I felt you body and baby your so cold

Glass bones
Baby im fragile
Im crying this pillows wet, i'm trying to go home

Rivilin

even if I had 100 grand on my face yeah id still feel like shit
it’s hard to see the future right here when everything’s covered in a blanket
so’ll take some more of that oxycontin sinking below and I’ve passed the bottom
having conversations with my soul yeah he said he hated me

trapped in a dark place like im sitting in my own head looking through the mirror
my body parts moving back and forth like why I don’t control a thing
dissociated most of the time. ye like im gonna be, gonna be sick
feeling like this tunnel vision won’t ever go awa-, go away

RipThePetals

I'm a pretty crier and you a petty lier
I hate you face, but fuck I wish that it was back in my bed

I'm a lone survivor in this world so cold
I had a heart of gold, and than you sold it for prescriptions i guess

Just tell me that your ok
I promise I will let you know i’m alright

I'm alright with you and your alright with him
I’ve got these problems I gotta let go

I'm so alone
Nowhere to go

I'm alright with you
This jealousy, get the fuck out my mind

SWELL FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals


RipThePetals

Icy Veins
Freeze within
Calm me down
Think like him

Passion fades from everyone I know
The flowers grow, when your all alone

It's nice to know you cared, I never cared at all
I never cared

Rivilin

ill pop a few more, i‘ll pop a few more
cus i don’t know where ill end up if I accept myself
valium to lithium yeah this is just a false hell
scratching at my faults until i end up hating myself

I turn the whip hard I flip the fucking car
and now im still struggling to put my head in place
Percocet’s to credit cards yeah my minds going numb now
do a few more lines so I can just forget about myself  

RipThePetals

Cigarette in my hand
Stains on my jeans from when the ash mixed with the tears
I'm in a false hell
And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, Im tryna get out

It wasn't fair i put you through that
Im manic, depressed, i'm in all this stress
I couldn't even tell that i was fucked up
And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, Im tryna get out

And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, I'm trying, trying

UNCOLOURED FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

I always see your face
when im all alone when im all alone
now the embers snuffed it fades
at the bottom of a well at the bottom of a well

now its always hard to explain what it’s like to lose a friend
if I could reach up to the stars and bring him back would this all end
cus suicides and option but where will that get me
will i come back with the same fate and be embraced by misery

so ill sink ill sink never get up I won’t leave
so ill sink ill sink i dont wanna live when you’re not with me                   
so ill fall and crash yeah this isn’t how it meant to be
so ill fall and crash yeah how did you forget about me

RipThePetals

I've sat there
With the blade on my wrist
Too many times to count

Have you ever lost a friend
The pain never ends
It always lingers on and on and on
The urge so strong, so strong

And I can't take it
You wanna fake it 
Well i can't relate bitch
Why would you say it was all a joke?

And I can't take it
You wanna fake it 
Well i can't relate bitch
Why would you say it was all a joke?

BELOW FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

RipThePetals

Body so cold
I'm on the road
You wanna go home

Cocaine drip down your nose
Body feel so cold

I don't like you
I don't even see you as a friend anymore

You know when it rain, yeah you bet it gone pour
Remember you came and you claimed you’re alone

I was there when you needed help
Now i'm alone, living in this hell

Body so cold
I'm on the road
You wanna go home

Rivilin

No i don’t get this, 
when you say im a fuck up and leave me alone oh

RipThePetals

Cocaine drip down your nose
Body feel so cold

Rivilin

Where do I go from here 
when I mentally fucked and I hear your call

RipThePetals

I don't like you
I don't even see you as a friend anymore

You know when it rain, yeah you bet it gone pour
Remember you came and you claimed you’re alone

Rivilin 

FUCK FUCK FUCK

RipThePetals

I was there when you needed help
Now i'm alone, living in this hell

IMAGERY FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals


Rivilin

results of mistakes always end this way
yeah always coming back at me
im not gonna just turn up to be fake
take a piece of my soul yeah it’s free

should i just flake and walk away
cus its obvious the problem is me
pushing through the crowd ye calling my name
im gonna walk away and just fucking leave

Ripthepetals

I don't really like the way that you talk
I don't really like the way that you talk
I don't really like the way that you talk
I don't really like the way that you talk to me

I don’t really fuck with you no more, we were living our life just like a sweet teen movie
Fucking in your parent’s bed, no one else had a king-sized in your crib
Playing with my chest hair, it’s 3 am and there's sweat all on the bed
I see you still like my songs when I check on my Soundcloud

I hope that you still sing along, knowing that there about you

And how I fucking despise you

Rivilin

yeah like the Truman show is my life faked
cus everyone’s like an actor
yeah so predictable they’re just gonna take
yeah take everything from me

always tried and tested guess it didn’t work out
said I wasn’t gonna pass school and I should just leave
so I packed my bags headed on my way
found someone who I thought meant something to me

no, no I guess it’s just me overthinking 
drinking until I know my liver is  sinking
it feels like I am switching rooms everything im blinking
take me to a time where I am listening to Linkin park

when I was 9 years old 
yeah imagining im on the stage with them when I saw them live
yeah a kids fantasy were always so blissful
can I turn back time

PAINT ME OUT FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

SWELL FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Rivilin

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