https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Yeah It’s when you punch me in the face and says its desperate measures
were plagued by suicidal tendencies shit doesn’t get better
it’s just another day another friend suicide just hits again
I wanna take my life but that’s not what I meant

can you tell me if you’re happy are you in a better place
did you ever find what you want cus I still just see your face
at the edge of my bed when im trying to fall asleep
yeah all my dreams are just plagued by awful memories

do you know that I cared
do you know that I called
oh god yeah I miss you but you’re not you at all
You’re not you at all, you say ill be ok 

you say ill be ok, 
but some wounds still don’t mend
it feels like my flesh is burning from the inside
im burning from the inside, im burning up alive

Yeah push me in the bed and now im left in recession
just a bloodline with an illness always left second-guessing
Yeah with charcoal on my face cigarettes in my hands
on my grandfather’s chair where he said to me

yeah son you gotta build your life and never look back
there will be people in your life that never give that’s a fact
but it’s hard to see the friends that you used to love go
but you know homie I got your back you just need to give a call 

so save your breath yeah im on my way right now
I don’t want to be someone that lets my friends down
maybe we will block out the sunlight with our despairs
stay in my room no life isn’t fair

Reminisce on issues that we had when we were younger
yeah looking back on it I thought as you as a brother
we suffered from the trauma we didn’t know how to comprehend
until emotion just builds and builds when i hear you say

What Changed

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

I come to this moment, 
almost every night
just a resident of this body 
a hollow specter am i

I shouldn’t idolize something that never will exist yet
my touch slowly turns you to stone I cant persist ye
im just a fragment of the problems 
but one by one you start to crack

it’s just my imagination
that one day I can grab happiness
will I find happiness
I don’t think I just fall

maybe this is my desperation
please wait while I catch my breath
will I ever catch my catch breath
I just sink then lose all control

crumbling, im crumbling until your pressure hits the bone
It’s just curse when you never call
it’s like a daydream waking in a sweat from thoughts of deceit and suicide
come to not feeling alive

we talk in tongues never understand a word
on your face I just see the anger lurk
stretch my skin onto your canvas till I tears
you watch the fever build around my neck until I clasps shut, you never cared

Cracks

HORIZONS EP NOW AVAILABLE ON ALL STREAMING PLATFORMS

Baby, are you feeling alright
It's the wrong time Baby it's the wrong time for us
Is it still okay for me to
Save her, when I'm losing my mind
It's the wrong time to be on the wrong side of love
We're reaching new horizons

I've been cast out
For the way I be now
I've been long gone
All is fine
I need to know
If I'm dying out
Do you think
You'd ever forget me

Baby, are you feeling alright
It's the wrong time Baby it's the wrong time for us
Is it still okay for me to
Save her, when I'm losing my mind
It's the wrong time to be on the wrong side of love
We're reaching new horizons

Will we ever meet again
Your beauty is mine
With the weight of my soul
I know that it's not over
It's not over yet
In this moment
The pain of my days begin to bleed over
I can't hide the fact I'm not sober
I'm distracted by the same ghosts

Sorry for the things that I have done
Save me from the things that I've become 

It's the wrong time to be on the wrong side of love
We're reaching new horizons

Black Lotus (prod. vici)

https://soundcloud.com/sepha-joey
https://soundcloud.com/erlaxcase

Lyrics

Salt in mouth from the tears down my face
I did what I did out of love now I hate
Myself

But I ain't got regrets
I live for my dreams and I'll die for my friends
Tight in my chest and my panic in the making
Fighting for breaths cuz my mind got me breaking

My body be shaking
Blood is escaping
Shit got me wondering if Ima make it

And I be scared
To message my friends
To tell em I'm manic and I'm on bend

Like what can they say
And what can they do
I know the answer, and they know it too

Nothing can save me
Shit I am broken
I'm just a baby
Crying from motion

Shit I been fighting some thoughts
So I'm writing these bars
So I ain't end it all

I be crying
As I write this song
I be fighting
But I ain't that strong

What is right now
I know only wrong
Where did I go
I was happy once

I was happy once
I hate what I have become
I knew happiness
Now I know that pain is shit

I knew not to quit
Now I'm looking down a bridge
I knew happiness
I knew happiness

Meeting new people
In new places
I don't need it
They'll let you down

Meeting new people
In new places
I don't need it
They'll let you down

Oh stop overthinking it son
Nothing matters its
The moments you live
All the times your heart won
Don't let the cunts make u come undone
Don't let the cunts make u come undone

Oh stop overthinking it son
Nothing matters its
The moments you live
All the times your heart won
Don't let the cunts make you come undone
Don't let the cunts make you come undone

Salt in mouth from the tears down my face
I did what I did out of love now I hate
Myself

But I ain't got regrets
I live for my dreams and I'll die for my friends
Tight in my chest and my panic in the making
Fighting for breaths cuz my mind got me breaking

My body be shaking
Blood is escaping
Shit got me wondering if Ima make it

Happy

⸸ spotify ⸸

Happy w/ SEPHA (ERLAX)

Please save me sometime
It's feels like I've been waiting
Here my whole life
Back to facing the pain within
The tears on your face
Do they hurt the same

The longer we say goodbye
I'll lose all my patience
Caught in your stride
I told you, I've been here before
If you're leaving me vacant
Finish me off

Yet I'm so far down the Deep End
I'm seeing her
Will you help me here
I'm breaking, I'm back in hell

It's pinning me down like before
The last time I stand on my own
Reaching the gates, Dying young
The sooner I am to blame
This shit's all the same

While you're softly changing
And I'm slowly caving in
Waiting for something new
I found it here in you
You take me back
When I look in your eyes
You're my violet, beauty shines within
Now I'm bleeding out
I can't hide it, I still love you

Yet I'm so far down the Deep End
I'm seeing her
Will you help me here
I'm breaking, I'm back in hell

It's pinning me down like before
The last time I stand on my own
Reaching the gates, Dying young
The sooner I am to blame
This shit's all the same

Deep End

Won’t you make it clear won’t you just say that I am worth it
In the hospital we roam, our mental states were from perfect
Cus theirs burning in my blood intravenous doesn’t seem to be working
Cus there is scaring on your lungs, eyes closed tell me why aren’t you moving

Try to pick up the pieces, doesn’t seem to work
Cutting your wrist, yeah this is gonna hurt
Blood runs like a river, on the bathroom floor
Eyes fade as you let you as I break down the door

My heart aches in my chest as I see you gone
See you in my dreams tell me this is what you want
To always be a memory now your gone
Everyone loves you but I just miss you

On a slope of letting go, it’s getting steeper
Try to get out of bed, I’m not leaving
Anxiety’s got my chest, I’m not breathing
Panic attacks yeah, got me weeping

I try to jump off yeah, my thoughts stop me
I swear I saw your ghost, yeah and you caught me
I’m by myself in this hell, would you haunt me
Please just, please just, don’t stop me.

It’s when I blackout, you push the blame now
if you hear me can you tell me was it worth it are you happy now your gone
can you smile now, can I join you
I had to pick up the pieces your mothers crying to Jesus
help you, tension breaks through
will you wait for me when I take my last breath, I can’t wait to see you again
can I forgive you, I don’t know how to  
won’t you show me your face, give me a sign, I don’t think I can hold on

digging my own grave, losing touch, yeah depression is lurking
with bones made of stone, I try really hard to not be a burden
your blue eyes are cutting Deep burning straight through my soul yeah, it’s hurting
misery just loves me, won’t you kiss me on the cheek, say I’m worth it

SUBSTANCE

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

bury the capsule of my doubt, I find myself staring through a window into the thick fog inside of my home, and it’s haunting it’s calling me beckoning me to walk further into the trees, and I find that there is no such thing as the word hope here

now im digging my way out, does it get better, does it get better than this
you burst in my room anger is filled in the palm of your fist
waking up with a black eye yeah like everything’s just fine
until the morning brings dust and I fade into my own hell

I swear time stood for a second and it showed me everything
what it means to be alive and for what it means to kill myself
some days it gets better most days it’s just worse
until I find out I hated myself all along 

THE ROPE JUST PULLS BACK
PRESSURE BUILDS AS MY NECK JUST SNAPS
IS THIS LIFE, IS THIS IT FUCK IM SICK OF IT
REPEATING AND REPEATING UNTIL THE TIDE JUST SWALLOWS ME WHOLE

THE RAT KING RELAPSED
I DONT THINK I WILL GET ME BACK
IS THIS LIFE, IS THIS IT FUCKING KILL ME NOW
CIRCLING AND CIRCLING UNTIL THIS HELL IS ALL THAT I FOUND

Even though our eyes had seen so much heartache, we had so much faith that this journey would show us the world in which we loved, but all I'm left with is a hollow empty room, which chills my bones till they freeze, I find my soul no longer lingers in this room because it hates the feeling of knowing that someone is going to die

Iron Teeth

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Rivilin:

cus you come out always at the right time
swisher sweet lips you never wanna be mine
im breaking down while you watch from the distance
I think this is love but I don’t know the difference

yeah, I know I have some issues, drug abuse, and mental illnesses
push your mind state to me then you wanna fuck just all my friends
choosing to stay high instead of sober, face all my problems
till its easier to deal with this but you still choose to watch me sink

into this black abyss, I was there for you, guess I didn’t mean shit
yeah you hang me from the apple tree it’s blatant theirs no one for me
yeah feel the poetry wrapping around my neck as the skin starts to crack and fray
yeah you watch me burn into the ashes rebuild me with bones that don’t last

yeah cus you just try to hit me up to see if you'll get answers
I don’t know how to reply cus I don’t understand the questions
it’s like I was never here I don’t exist im just a ghost in the crowd
Every time it storms I hope you hear me, yeah im screaming so loud

I just sit and watch the time pass as my bones keep growing cold
this nostalgia holds my dreams it beckons me to make that call
yeah if you hit me back yeah you know your always welcome here
cus your loves the only one I know, I miss your voice on the phone

cus you come out always at the right time
swisher sweet lips you never wanna be mine
im breaking down while you watch from the distance
I think this is love but I don’t know the difference

Njoi:

Your memory it follows me its branded in my mind
A constant cold reminder of just what we left behind
I know how far we fell but I long for where we've been
and maybe if I wait it out one day you'll let me in

But all, this is a fantasy, pathetic hopes, and dreams
Cause truth, be told this coffin's full of nails or so it seems
So I'll take another shot to warm the blood in my veins 
Do my best, try and forget your face it's burned in my brain

Now all I have, are visions of the person you were, 
look at you now who  are you,  
Yeah this person aint her
Guess I’ll try and just forget you, guess that's just the way it goes, guess I'll put another paycheck, straight up, my fucking my nose 

If I keep the self-destruction up,  I'll probably end up dead 
But I  need fucking image of your face out of my head. 
And I don't want to love you,  I don't want to say goodbye
So take my soul and cut my throat then leave me here to fucking die.

Rivilin:

cus you come out always at the right time
swisher sweet lips you never wanna be mine
im breaking down while you watch from the distance
I think this is love but I don’t know the difference

The Distance FT. NJOI

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

foggy streets don’t remember a thing yeah
silence just blast in my ears I can’t think yeah
aimless wandering around  just to make sense
of my mental state yeah I am fucked

constantly chased by manifestations of my past
it’s like you have my organs mixed up yeah it’s wrong
so where do I go yeah where do I see
I don’t really know much yeah about me

hearing rusted bearings yeah squeak in the fan frame
two new pair of wires wrapped in my ribcage
feel a bit shit yeah don’t know how to cope man
don’t make sense how I ended up this way

feel the wires cutting my back and it’s not fair
hospital beds just push till I break yeah
theirs a smile on your face when you lock that door man
push me to the floor and  you say ill get better

now im just fucked up lost trust in my own head
in an apartment with dark thoughts yeah they’re closing in
1996 with a mouth full of lead yeah
who the fuck am I yeah I don’t know who I am

wake up cold sweats take a few more meds
lockdown lose touch yeah your not my friend
till I find peace 
in my own hell

im shaking im changing am I the one who’s dead
lost reality when I sit in my head
I’ve been flailing down falling in is no end
if I sink any lower ill lose my chance

lost my way no im not gonna mend
push me away yeah maybe it is for the best
yeah truth be told I already hate myself
til you find out I don’t exist

yeah so hang me up with the noose yeah ill kick me off
it doesn’t really matter cus I wake up lost
strapped to a bed where I can’t really breathe
life’s just mundane yeah its fucking bleak

rusty fences trap me like a birdcage
looking after me cus I break like sticks yeah
waking up in another location not free
I don’t really know much yeah about me

Don't Care

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin
yeah baby  im gone you know i don’t mess with the past
but I know you just try to hit me up and fuck with my heart
now im alone darkness seems to swallow all of me
till my room fills with light and I see you hitting up my phone

cus im chilling with the vermin swarm, drug addictions all we know
best intentions peeling back my scalp you grab a bottle and take my soul
all the money I have got spent on frivolous things
try to fill an empty void with friends and designer rings
 
RipThePetals

I've got fake friends who dip when they pop off
New friends only like me cause im Petals
I've lost too many friends to the drugs, but they give me more, when i'm coming down, just to keep me around

And i can't answer the question to why your coming back to me
Your blowing up my phone just to treat me like i'm the enemy
I'll fall in love again, just a chip in my heart
Girl you broke me apart, but i can't seem to let you outta my arms

Rivilin


so what did  you say, what did you say
i don’t wanna feel like this anymore
so why did I turn, why did we fight
everytime i seem to be just at your door

so what did you mean, so what did you mean
that everyone just wants a little piece of me
the shadows seem to stalk im out of my mind
I feel like paranoia gets the best of me

yeah so baby im gone, try to fill conversation with validation
but you just want to chuck it back in my face no imagination
yeah if you just really want to hate me
At least just say it to me face say it to my face

if you just really wanted something  yeah
why can’t you just take it and let me just fucking leave
cus it always ends up this way
two best friends fighting over someone that we wanna hate


RipThePetals

Hate me, always love it when you tell me that you hate me
On these amphetamines, you tell me that you break me
All those words you've never spoken that I can't read
I’ve been abused in every fucking way so

You cant do a fucking thing to me
I see my demons when I’m smoking weed
I think about it they look just like you, when you know the truth, come crawling back to me

INVALID FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

I wanna see you smile but I keep that on the low
I wanna make you mine yeah but you already know
that your wasting time yeah I take that as a blow
your knuckles hit the spine and now im passed out on the floor

you love to cut me down but you keep that on the low
you hate it when i leave but you keep begging for more
this isn’t love its fire and your burning at my soul
i try to win this time, but i keep begging for more

Ripthepetals

I’m over these meds and all the bitches in my fucking bed
I fall in love too easily
I'm over all of these texts that say you flaking to him, its so hard to say I want company

It's just another life I guess
Another fucked mistake my soul made
It's just another life i fucked up, baby im fucked up, give me a break

Rivilin

yeah it’s like my best intentions never seem to go to plan they’re just mistakes
you're just a toxin in my skin medicated to forget
im popping tags for serotonin always know it don’t work
so you lay me on a pedal stool to try make me feel like im worth it

but you know its toxic, don’t you know it fucks with chemicals
plagued with awful memories so im just forced to forget

Ripthepetals

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

KEEP ME ON THE LOW FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

The Distance FT. NJOI

Rivilin

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