i just wonder why people can’t see beatiful things around  artist like you should be become more popular i have all of your songs in my phone and i love all of them mostly sad ones are my fav but just let you know man you are awesome just keep it up 

@user-170434104 you are absolutely right. This is some good shit he needs more love.

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Yeah It’s when you punch me in the face and says its desperate measures
were plagued by suicidal tendencies shit doesn’t get better
it’s just another day another friend suicide just hits again
I wanna take my life but that’s not what I meant

can you tell me if you’re happy are you in a better place
did you ever find what you want cus I still just see your face
at the edge of my bed when im trying to fall asleep
yeah all my dreams are just plagued by awful memories

do you know that I cared
do you know that I called
oh god yeah I miss you but you’re not you at all
You’re not you at all, you say ill be ok 

you say ill be ok, 
but some wounds still don’t mend
it feels like my flesh is burning from the inside
im burning from the inside, im burning up alive

Yeah push me in the bed and now im left in recession
just a bloodline with an illness always left second-guessing
Yeah with charcoal on my face cigarettes in my hands
on my grandfather’s chair where he said to me

yeah son you gotta build your life and never look back
there will be people in your life that never give that’s a fact
but it’s hard to see the friends that you used to love go
but you know homie I got your back you just need to give a call 

so save your breath yeah im on my way right now
I don’t want to be someone that lets my friends down
maybe we will block out the sunlight with our despairs
stay in my room no life isn’t fair

Reminisce on issues that we had when we were younger
yeah looking back on it I thought as you as a brother
we suffered from the trauma we didn’t know how to comprehend
until emotion just builds and builds when i hear you say

What Changed

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

I come to this moment, 
almost every night
just a resident of this body 
a hollow specter am i

I shouldn’t idolize something that never will exist yet
my touch slowly turns you to stone I cant persist ye
im just a fragment of the problems 
but one by one you start to crack

it’s just my imagination
that one day I can grab happiness
will I find happiness
I don’t think I just fall

maybe this is my desperation
please wait while I catch my breath
will I ever catch my catch breath
I just sink then lose all control

crumbling, im crumbling until your pressure hits the bone
It’s just curse when you never call
it’s like a daydream waking in a sweat from thoughts of deceit and suicide
come to not feeling alive

we talk in tongues never understand a word
on your face I just see the anger lurk
stretch my skin onto your canvas till I tears
you watch the fever build around my neck until I clasps shut, you never cared

Cracks

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

yeah crucify me stab me in the front
what was I expecting I knew you’d break my trust
watch the veil come down and cover up my eyes
would you come and save me, ill believe your lies

tell me what’s the point I feel like I’ve given up
should I call you back when I know this isn’t love
you just take advantage when im on the low
when I need you most I find myself all alone

I can feel it in my skin crawling under my eyes
its constant negativity that makes the doubt and takes emotions that I hide
until im just left feeling so numb
a delicate flower that breaks when it’s loved

im over-medicated i didn’t want to say it
because if I admit it, you just freak out and leave me here all alone
and it shows
that i don’t know how to communicate to you at all

I see you suffering, you know it’s hurting me
I ask if your ok but you just find ways to push away
all the pain
until it builds and builds and you take it out all on me

so why can’t you explain to me what you're going through
you know you're not alone
but we shut everyone out
until were drowning in our doubt

Live A Liar

didn’t mean for it to be this way,
you walked out shut the door right on my face

it’s like I never existed, I’m a ghost
I know you couldn’t stand to watch me deteriorate
I always thought that you would stay 
but you had too much on your plate

I guess we’re afraid of what we could say to each other
then something that was never said
cus we call these moments everything
you always loved my hollow cheeks

cus I’m dancing with forever,
knowing that it would turn back and never work out
so we push and pull each other
watch the skin tear and I rebound back

you medicate with things that made me worse
strapped to the bed, it’s not fair that it hurts
the guilt came like wolves to my skin
how they wait at my home for me to return

didn’t mean for it to be this way,
you walked out shut the door right on my face
you hate how I lose my days to sleep
I lost count of many it's been

cus you left flowers on my desk
yeah, maybe I was always gone
you left wounds they always seem to return
pulling out stitches, god it hurts

but   dear you know I have to open the door
taking the first steps, I hate how you mourn
concrete veins, blind tounges, heavy eyes
I don’t get how your heart still lies

I was fearless way back before I was cursed with you
how words cant be put to paper of how much you helped me through 
it took me years for me to brave myself on my feet 
but now you’re gone its as if it was all for nothing

we try to stretch our skin between the gap of our love
how miserable we fail, falter, become so weak
becoming frail, we always seem to break
we let go and never talk of this again

NEVER SAID

im with broken bones, 
theirs no hope down here im in love with fear
live in a broken home, 
yeah your eyes still leer, watch as I disappear

I need to get away, I need to make some space,
won’t you get to the point make it clear suicide just kicks the chair
all I see is red,
you don’t want me here you just wanna leave me behind

im not coping with the way that you’re looking at me
take another sip and let the couch envelop me
why do I put myself through this
I can’t stand to look at your face

with that smile yeah haunting vision
I can’t tell what’s fact or fiction
your light was too beautiful 
I got to close enveloped by night

cus picture-perfect yeah im not worth it
ya point at my flaws and then ya say it’s not working
fucking my best friends yeah you would
they’re a replacement and im not chasing you

yeah 6 years down the drain what point of that yeah it was such a waste
watch the best of you just die in front of me, sick to my stomach yeah im not coping

shit out of luck back then yeah shit out of friends back then yeah
putting on fake masks tryna pretend that they’re so close to me so close to me
I know im replaceable, found out the hard way found out the best way
when they try to stab in the front with the drugs six shots down cant replace it cant just fix it

cus only had one best friend back then and he’s gone,  
hope he’s in a better place but he’s not
he’s breathing but he’s not alive
fucked up on drugs yeah he’s just lost

one reason true, and now we’re through
the person I blame is still  you
I don’t even know how I made it out alive man

NO LUCK

you’re going out of your way to put me down
yeah im used to it, hateful comments always surrounding my emotions
im always looking for the ways you come around
try to fix my mental state when you say it’s intact but I know that its

my sorrow that’s just repeating the cycle
when you hook your string into my back and try to hang me up like a puppet
my  emotions got me confused, like why am I looking for you
the only thing I gained from this is depression

so what do you say you want
you have a tendency to want to cut me down all again
this was a mistake cus you’re gone
your so predictable when you come looking for more

skinny piece of shit what do you want from me
i have these dire scenes flash in front of me it’s just so disappointing
to always be left on hold when I wanna call
truth be told it doesn’t matter anymore just hang me up with the cord


drug-addicted piece of shit yeah that’s what I am
I can’t begin to fabricate the emptiness within so ill just pretend
that im not a burden to my family, 
obviously, my mother doesn’t think so but you know its really true
 
cus I filled the psychiatrist’s pockets with empty money
to put a debt on my family so I could be happy
but you know some things never really go to plan,  
cus our family fell apart, it fucked me up from the start

for a year a half I was fucking homeless, 
living on my nans’ couch yeah this family’s broken
yeah my mother was in hospital, I didn’t know how to discard
the anger I found in me, it’s tearing at the seems

TENDANCIES

Feat vocals from my homie:
: https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals
Feat Guitar from my homie
https://www.instagram.com/oden_johansson/?hl=en
Art was done by my homie:
https://www.instagram.com/muskisdead/
Just stay just stay for awhile
vision blurring i fall back lose track of time
hands on ears yeah outside just gets so loud
scared to death of confrontation ill be back in awhile

no shame i just break, on knees i cant fake my composure
feel like im just used, between two people you tear me apart
cus i didnt understand it, im left repremanded by my friends and the ones that i love
try to gain composure we fall to exposure, i guess you couldnt take that you judge from above

look at the blood moon consume me
skin shakes to stone the dust that surrounds thee
shadows and footsteps fluttering all around me i thought this dim light would keep me safe
but who am i kidding this journeys so long but ill fight until my grave

-- ripthepetals

I can feel him grabbing at my leg, I think his dragging me to hell
I just took some valium, you know that I am crazy for the pill

Goth kid with the cut wrist
I say im fine but im suffering
Big riv got the ritalin
Laced what im sipping in
I dont really care, bitch give it here
We really living in a false hell
Little vemon when im spitting, im wishing the best worlds
We really going down again
Im wishing we were more then friends

BURN ME FT. RIPTHEPETALS & ODEN JOHANSSON

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

I hear the silence talking
yeah deep in my chest
This girl shes got me fucked up
sink in the pills with no regret

Falling down the hallway locked in an empty house
yeah gravities a blur, on the ceiling screaming now
the shadows dancing on the walls seem to taunt me
always beckoning me to just jump and just leave

I haven’t felt this way in a long time
get the strength to walk on the balcony and im staring straight down
legs are shaking as I climb over the fucking edge
if I let go will you please just stop this

all these thoughts they erase over time
like tell me what is my own fucking name I forgot
I collapse, I collapse as my neck snaps
wake up from another dream where suicides a fairy tale

popping pills after pills get my mind straight
watch me relapse again till you just hate everything I am
cut my throat let me bleed, let me bleed out
there’s no amount of medicine that can help me now

yeah im watching the bedsheets consume me
watch the walls start to fade when my vision blacks out
I saw your face standing right there above me
I don’t blame you for cutting out to just leave

watch my soul walk down the hallway
he said goodbye, you’re lost in a state now
what does that make me
just another fuck up that’s a shame, wear a fake mask till my grave

watching my family just stare now
yeah they don’t know a thing about what it’s like to break down
fill my psychs pockets till they realize debts found
kick me out on the street cus I can’t afford to get help

with the shadows on the walls as we stare at my body
it’s just convulsing now everyone just thinks im a druggie
because im paranoid about words that I just hear
cus I know you divulge information that I trusted in you

but we both know that it doesn’t mean shit
I bet you don’t even remember the torment that you just put me through
I collapse, I collapse as my neck snaps
wake up from another dream where suicides a fairy tale

Erase Me

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

can you see me from the bottom
even though the waters shallow I still feel as if it’s above my neck
does it hurt you to see me suffer
does it hurt you at all can you feel a thing

I see father, im so sorry
I see mother, please don’t worry
because the medication didn’t seem to work I couldn’t get my head straight
dreams of overdosing, shallow breathing, no it’s too late

I see the rain start to pour when I think of your name
I feel the pain when you call, say you’re here with my friend
explosions of infinity say it’s all in my head
astral projects of where I could be happy, no im not happy at all

No, don’t cry out my name, no fuck you this is it
im not who I want to be, but I know when to quit
engrave your tales in my veins just to say you want him
im ripping out my own flesh just to say I forget, no I won’t forget

theirs a face staring back at me, 
yeah what, what does it want from me
it doesn’t speak, it just follows me
everywhere I go, yeah everywhere I turn

in the shadows always consuming
my thoughts always presuming
that maybe one day I will just take a step 
And just learn to breathe

so tell me does get better than this
I don’t even know, you don’t even know so why do I ask
maybe cus im holding on by a thread
and secretly im hoping it gives

so then you can just watch me fall
until I hit the water and let the ocean sky just consume me

Remedy

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

foggy streets don’t remember a thing yeah
silence just blast in my ears I can’t think yeah
aimless wandering around  just to make sense
of my mental state yeah I am fucked

constantly chased by manifestations of my past
it’s like you have my organs mixed up yeah it’s wrong
so where do I go yeah where do I see
I don’t really know much yeah about me

hearing rusted bearings yeah squeak in the fan frame
two new pair of wires wrapped in my ribcage
feel a bit shit yeah don’t know how to cope man
don’t make sense how I ended up this way

feel the wires cutting my back and it’s not fair
hospital beds just push till I break yeah
theirs a smile on your face when you lock that door man
push me to the floor and  you say ill get better

now im just fucked up lost trust in my own head
in an apartment with dark thoughts yeah they’re closing in
1996 with a mouth full of lead yeah
who the fuck am I yeah I don’t know who I am

wake up cold sweats take a few more meds
lockdown lose touch yeah your not my friend
till I find peace 
in my own hell

im shaking im changing am I the one who’s dead
lost reality when I sit in my head
I’ve been flailing down falling in is no end
if I sink any lower ill lose my chance

lost my way no im not gonna mend
push me away yeah maybe it is for the best
yeah truth be told I already hate myself
til you find out I don’t exist

yeah so hang me up with the noose yeah ill kick me off
it doesn’t really matter cus I wake up lost
strapped to a bed where I can’t really breathe
life’s just mundane yeah its fucking bleak

rusty fences trap me like a birdcage
looking after me cus I break like sticks yeah
waking up in another location not free
I don’t really know much yeah about me

Don't Care

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

RipThePetals

Body so cold
I'm on the road
You wanna go home

Cocaine drip down your nose
Body feel so cold

I don't like you
I don't even see you as a friend anymore

You know when it rain, yeah you bet it gone pour
Remember you came and you claimed you’re alone

I was there when you needed help
Now i'm alone, living in this hell

Body so cold
I'm on the road
You wanna go home

Rivilin

No i don’t get this, 
when you say im a fuck up and leave me alone oh

RipThePetals

Cocaine drip down your nose
Body feel so cold

Rivilin

Where do I go from here 
when I mentally fucked and I hear your call

RipThePetals

I don't like you
I don't even see you as a friend anymore

You know when it rain, yeah you bet it gone pour
Remember you came and you claimed you’re alone

Rivilin 

FUCK FUCK FUCK

RipThePetals

I was there when you needed help
Now i'm alone, living in this hell

IMAGERY FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Cracks

Rivilin

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