love hurts

last of upload mins might make a new one idk

ϟϟ 2k16

loser's requiem

everyday, i sit pondering
everyday, i spend wide awake
spending days, in my bed wondering
spending days on end, wide awake
they all worry about extinction
i just worry about myself
i'm just worried about me
invested in all the bullshit
and i don't understand why
i always have to feel this way again
i wish i could control it
the image burned into the front of my head
they all worry about extinction
i just worry about myself
invested in my decision
i invest time in myself

extinction

#techclub

https://open.spotify.com/track/5z3XKjC1LNFXY3DGWNfFiw?si=dABK832UQuyONWhkhq44Dw

birds

you kiss my open sores, love soaking through my pores 
i've lived a thousand lives, this one is my demise
the day you leave my side, come thoughts of suicide
im riding shotgun in a car 
 going nowhere but we’re getting far

Substance abuse

I know it's nice to pretend 
Things get better in the end
One thing that I know when it hurts
It's only gonna get worse

Which leads me to my final request
It may be hard to digest
But when I'm gone don't bury me 
Just throw me in the garbage please

When I die just throw me in the trash
It's where I always belong yeah
Spent so long living on this lonely earth
A garbage can is the only grave I'm worth

Wasted body wasted soul
Flesh and bone turn to mold
Nothing gets better every day's the same
Living my worthless life in this planet of pain

Planet of pain, throw me away
It was always meant to be this way
I'm just filth, get rid of me
Lay me down to rest so I can sleep happily



Planet Pain

The sun comes up but you know I don't
I say I wanna change but I know that I won't
So I spend the day in bed with all the fantasies in my head
Of waking up as someone else instead

When my eyes are closed I make the most 
Of the time I don't mind being lost
When my life has gone to shit I'm just so sick of it
I wanna sleep it off

Start the day at 4 pm, another one wasted again
I guess I'll just head back to sleep
So I check my phone as I'm laying alone 
And I pray the Lord my soul to keep

With my eyes shut tight in the daylight
My heart full of fear and hateful spite
Would it make a difference if I died tonight?

My mattress holds me and consoles me 
As I worry about whatever
In my dreams I found the means 
To hold myself together

Under my blanket I try to hide
From these feelings I keep deep down inside
From sunset to sunrise
On these filthy sheets I agonize

Over the life I'll never live
And the effort I'll never give
And the nightmares I'll never forget

Sleepover

Mattress on the floor
Where I am I can't tell
A stomach full of vomit 
A head full of dead braincells

So don't tell me to take easy
That's all I really do these days
Kill myself or kill some time
It's cool with me either way

I don't belong here
But whatever it's cool
Well I don't belong here
No you won't be seeing me at school

I don't belong here 
But I don't care
Well I don't belong here
Life ain't meant to be fair

Puke Pile

They say that being scared
Is part of growing up 
But even if I was all alone
I'd still be throwing up

No one seems to hear me
No matter how much I've said it
Every step's a mistake
On the path I am headed

Someone please take the wheel
I think I'm too young to drive
When things are getting a way too real
I wonder if I'm too young to die

Cuz I

I've got no guts
My soul is dull and lonely
I've got no guts
So don't act like you know me

I've got no guts
And I'm never gonna make it
I've got no guts
And there's no point in fakin'

I cry and say I feel bad
When I run from my problems
Because if I didn't do that
Then I'd have to try and solve them

I'm not strong enough to change
And I'm too lazy to care
I reach out for a friend
But I know no one is there

We feel things for each other
But every man dies alone
There ain't no future for me now
But that's something I've always known

This planet's filled with despair
And loneliness everlasting
So I'll pray for a world
A world as empty as me

I've got no guts
My soul is dull and lonely
I've got no guts
So don't act like you know me

I've got no guts
And I'm never gonna make it
I've got no guts
And there's no point in fakin'

No Guts (I Got)

And it's not like I really wanna change
I just want every single day to stay the same 
Nothing coming in, nothing going out
And thoughts that I can't do without

Don't tell me what I feel
These tears I cry are the only thing I know that's real
Everyone's got there own way to deal
And I got wounds on me that I never ever wanna heal

Every single year is just the same thing
Nothing I do has any meaning 
Throwing away all the days of my youth
Tell me to be happy but it's no use

How much of this shit is my own fault
Don't wanna think about it but probably all
No one wants to help me get through it
Cuz I'm just so comfortable being useless

Don't tell me what I feel
These tears I cry are the only thing I know that's real
Everyone's got there own way to deal
And I got wounds on me that I never ever wanna heal

Dead End

feat. Augie Deimos on guitar/bass

mean no disrespect when I say that I’m probably not getting off this shit this time
no matter how much I need to, it’s not enough for me to fight through my
whole life is just repeating the same thing, never getting better unless someone makes me and
hating myself more than anyone could possibly hate me as i
burn through my brains doing everything that can sedate me

how long will you believe that I’m still trying my best, as I do everything to show that I just gave up on this
it feels so weird that I’m so free to die whenever I want, while parents, friends, and strangers need me to still carry on 
guess it’s cool as long as I still get to get messed up, that’s the only thing I love and it’s fucked 
and it sucks that I’m spitting on everything that I don’t deserve 
all this love and support just enforces this misguided hurt

I don’t know but I don’t care and I don’t know cuz I don’t care
And I don’t know what’s out there or what comes next or why I’m scared

Circles Of Care

Real Cocoa Beach Rock & Roll!
Truest Space Coast Landmark (1997 - 2018)
Deadly Legacy Will Kill 1000s
https://zoneofscabs.bandcamp.com/

Thank you to everyone who's been with me these last few years, I never could've had this much fun or been this productive without you all. This project might be over but I'll never forget how happy it's made me. Goodbye and thanks for listening!

No Guts (I Got)

Scabzone