produced by: https://soundcloud.com/prodmichael

lyrics:

try hard
where does it get me
i wake up, feeling so empty
if i die would you forget me
if i die would you forgive me
back to back another bad night
back to back another hard fight
lost again another black eye
lost again another black eye

it dont feel right
not at all
i try my best
but i just fall

coming up but i still feel down
got a couple k in my bank account
i dont wanna be here right now
you dont care if im here right now
blacked out
i dont wanna wake up
ima cover my scars with some make up
blacked out
i dont wanna wake up
ima cover my scars with some make up

where does it get me? (p. xmichaelwarren)

prod @jolst + @pekarot_161
mastered by: @jolst

right here
won’t you hold me right here 
cus everybody switched up
i had to fight fair 
i been
stressed out
think i need a cold beer 
said fuck that 
i’ll smoke a blunt
and pull out my hair 
x2

cus i been spending my money and livin up
and i been textin her she just don’t give a fuck
at least i got my friends right here to jus show me love
if i was alone right now i’d probably kick the buck 

i just want my baby to come and kiss me a little bit 
i know i get too greedy and i wanna take it off
if you ever need a friend just hit me for the thrill of it 
she give me a little but i rlly want it all >:•)

baby im a loner :(
straight to the fucking face 
smoke a blunt n then i phone her 
im beggin beggin baby please 
why won’t u just come over (im kinda bored)
im not tryna be dramatic
but im gonna fucking throw up !!!!!!!!

not tryna be dramatic but i'm guess that im a loner ): 

(alan watts speech)
(ak47 reload)
(lightsaber sheath)

revenant (jolst x pekarot)

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

the waiting game's begun 
so i can't talk a lot
she's got it figured out
while i'm left in the dark
there's no escaping me
i'm bound to my own fears
'cause this is who i am 
i've been like this for years

do you think that i'll change?
'cause i'm so scared i won't
i know it's up to me
but i can't be on my own
affliction takes ahold
and punctures through my face
i wanna hide my soul
but i can't erase mistakes

dysregulation in the dome 
disadvantaged and alone 
nobody ever checks on me
'cause they know i'm out of hope
why do i take up this space? 
i'm not worthy, i'm afraid
how can i make it more clear that
i'm never really okay?

right from the start, i was a mess 
there was no saving me 
i took it all straight to the heart 
now i've got jealousy
the greenest eyes you've ever seen
staring carefully
i'm sorry that i'm not that strong 
my heart forsakens thee

uncertainty has guaranteed my futility
i'm like a tree stuck in the dark 
suffering and steep 
and while i'm stuck behind a screen 
there's no agency
i've come to realize i'm not free 
there is no release

i came on too strong 
but how is that wrong?
i can't help it if i have a heart
that's full of love
fuck what they all say 
i'm borderline insane
i wouldn't get close to me
if i were you, i'd run away

i'm a liability
i burden those close to me 
don't you ever feel like you're the
only one who's lost at sea?
reading all your messages 
feel the sting inside my chest 
pace around my room until i
write off every word you said

even if i was found dead
i'd hope that you won't regret 
everything you never said
i don't want that in your head

at the end of the day 
i still care about you
regardless of our statuses
i know you'll find truth
the boundaries we put in place
will keep us en route 
we all change, but honestly 
we can't forget our roots

anima

99th Floor ft. kennedyxoxo (sailor x jolst)

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

tether (ft. greenwood) [triple gemini]

spotify & apple <3

lyrics//

iv been talking to god
iv been doing my part like you told me

was it always so hard
i know you think you were always controlling
but it was never thay part
i saw a light and it killed me slowly
and now im packing my car
i made you think
you dont even know me


i was lost in the fallout
you pushed me down as i climbed out
or tried to
ivy league to the dog house
wonder what they would say
if they got to?

now my comforters stained out
took it all to the grave like i told you
was i always a let down?
was i always a person that you once knew?

fallout [idly blare]

Produced by caves

lyrics:
I think that were parting ways 
Ur floating far away
Do you think i am stupid?
Cause ur lying to my face
My words just go unseen
Got some pressure on my chest 
And ur throwing me away
All of my works useless

Dont u think ur going way too fucking far with this
Think i lost the closest that ive ever been
Do i mean a thing to you cause i don’t think i do
U grab it by the trunk and pull it further from the roots 

(Dont u think this is just the start?
A mix of brown and ivy in ur eyes)

Times feel nothing like they ever used too
I heard u speak but i choose not to awnser u
Its cold and dark once u step in my room 
Release my fingers and i feel u slipping through
Friends are slowly drifting away
And i kinda hate it

(u seem nice, don‘t tell me ur name
Cause its really not worth it)

enjoy :)

ya
right back where we started
tight knot in my stomach ima vomit
you know i hate it when you walk away from me
you know i hate it when we dont talk for some weeks
im tryna im tryna im tryna
im tryna get yo ass to see what i see
theres not a soul on this earth id fight to keep except you
sometimes i wish you would just shhh no bad news
oh who we kidding
we both know you too smart for that aint nothing getting past you
I'm just such an asshole
i put you in bad moods
i don't know what else to do
except make all these songs for you
and i dont know what you gonna do
and that scares the hell out of me
you the only woman in my life that made me think bout a ring
you the only woman in my life that told me don't stop singing
you the only woman in my life id fight for til the bell ringing
ha
you build me up i break you down i hate this cycle
im tryna beat it beat it down not talking michael
fuck a lil call i wanna facetime on yo iphone
fuck that lil mall i wanna take yo ass to soho
i love it when you wear them tennis shoes no heels though
although i love it when you get ya dress on put ya best on
you the baddest in the restaurant better than the rest huh
just hear me out bae im talking to you
anytime you walked away i was always walking with you
like that time in the parking lot
or that time in the restaurant
anywhere that you going baby id follow you x amount
yea
tell me who are you falling for baby cmon just x em out
oh you know what im about
ill take a flight from the south
ill pullup straight to ya house
ill tell ya lets work it out
you know i love bae lets work it out<333

lets work it out [p. silver+methboiswag]

"i won‘t look away cause i love that she‘s here"

produced by @nevrfall 

lyrics:
(You are my home
When you are not here 
I feel alone)

You are my home
When you are not here 
I feel alone
I see you in a couple weeks
Till then i hope you remember me

Her face and her hair
Keep me locked with my stare
And i won’t look away cause i love that she‘s here
She says i love you and gives me a kiss
Babe give me your hand
Pull me further from this

Hey babe i hope you are okay 
Right now i am missing your face
Can you just stay with me
For the rest of this day
Now it‘s getting real late
And i‘ll drive you home safe 
Her mum don’t gotta worry
Babe just keep your eyes on me

Lookin way to stunnin for my eyes to see
You way too pretty for me but you deny it anyways
My life is getting colored when i am just seeing your face
I don’t think you understand how much you doing to me
Btw i love you, okay?
Baby i got time for you any day
Baby i just love the way you say my name
„Hey, how are you?“
„I am doing great“

(Baby why you got that look all on your face?
I want to see you happy everyday
Come in to my arms and make my heart beat
Cause you make my feelings go crazy)

YOU ARE MY HOME
WHEN YOU ARE NOT HERE
I FEEL ALONE
I HATE THAT YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY
I HOPE IN YEARS I STILL KISS YOU BABE

enjoy :)

revenant (jolst x pekarot)

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