Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of vision-obscuring, similarly-named video game enemies. Left 4 Dead’s Boomer versus Super Mario’s Blooper. Enjoy!

Freshy Kanal as Boomer
EddieFRB as Blooper

Written by Commander Jacob
Beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by 2Deep

-LYRICS-
Boomer: 
Yo! Back up, squiddy. Your dick-shaped head is gonna be leaking
I’ll splatter a couple colors everywhere; so here’s an Inkling
I'm even wavy when I break in half
I'm out-taking lives. Bloopers getting cut because he just makes me laugh
Boom-bap blasting in your face when im speaking shit
Blow chunks and then you'll just see green if you peep me Creeping in
Bile emanating. Spreading sauce; this calamari is dead
By eliminating this Sharpie, ill kick him out the party again
Rip off your arms, no Sunshine at all
What kinda underwater creature gets killed by a fireball
And you're wack on a track, I hope ya heard what i mean
The shit I vomit covers more than a third of the screen

Blooper:
This ain't a drive-by. Your ass would just stress the kart
Plus I'd be better off rapping against a jar
Waddle up and die in one shot. And best of all?
you look like King Bob-Omb with high cholesterol
Think about it, you're only useful in surprise attacks
But I can see your chonky ass from a mile back
I go *splat* in your fat face, better think fast
Your girl rides me like a surfboard then empties my ink sac
I lightly shove you off? you’re not a threat to me
To do damage? Bring in a horde of enemies
I don't care if it ain't cool
If I wanted a boomer too slow to make shit, I'd go battle Gabe Newell

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Boomer vs Blooper | Half-Ass Rap battles

Tiamat Sings A Song (Godzilla X Kong The New Empire Monsterverse Parody)

Scylla Sings A Song (Godzilla X Kong The New Empire Monsterverse Parody)

Recorded December 2024

11/12

prod by Big Bro Collective


pac

Ay, wake up! This a battle so don’t act like it’s naptime
Bro, you’re less Rayman, and more of a manchild
Baby has grown tired, lay down and rest up
Play with your mobile: Rayman Siesta

Dish out a taste of pain if this glutton runs his mouth again
You know you’re getting served, bro I’m coming from the cabinet
You’re coming from France, but with that accent you’ve got
And the hands in the air, you giving up or hailing a ‘cah?’

Cause that floating body sorta reminds me of the ghosts I’m chomping
So I oughta go and drop him, like Ubisoft did
You’re a relic of time, I’m ageless with fans
“Rayman Legends” is right, you’ll stay in the past

ray

You a pie, cheese wheel, fortune cookie or what? 
I’m really sad if you aren’t, because I’m hungry as FUCK
But I heard that you’re serving me? You’re a fatass pizza
And I’m sick of you already, that’s Pacman Fever bitch

Drop the power pellets, steroids are wack
They turn ghosts blue, but they’ll do worse to your nads
And make your girl so sad, yo she prefers what I have
You ain’t got the balls like I do, check the urinal ad

Ay Miss Pacman won’t miss Pacman, you cuck
I pack a punch, pack it up before she yells “PAC, GET UP!”
So I don’t care what the FUCK you gon say,
You already lost, bro. You’re stuck in a maze

pac

Yo, the moment you got birthed, you looked up your mom’s skirt
I’d say keep it in your pants, but you should get some on first
And they say he’s supposed to save the land? Pause
You ain’t a stand up guy with no legs to stand on

Cause he mimics the way his friends all behave daily
Like your namesake, it’s obvious Ray tracing
You bit off the Rabbids, but you’re the one with rabies
Explains the crazed gibberish whenever you say things

rat

Oh you think you’re fucking hilarious with that stealing shit
Took Fozzie’s waka waka, now you’re the comedian
Bro, the fact is that you’re part of the issue
You’re so unfunny, Adam Sandler wanted to kill you

Yo, and what’s more wack than that is how you are at home
You beat your kids, Junior and Baby, like it’s Smash Bros
Miss Pac goes “I wish my husband dies like Namco”
Moral code’s so bad, only thing you can’t beat is bad code


silly little battle and second of the anti slump battles. i also wrote this one in like an afternoon and never looked back, which felt so good just to like, shit out all my creative energy. 

i was watching a lot of frak battles at the time and i really loved how he did angles, and just the whole way where he’d make some shit up for laughs and i wanted to imitate that same energy for rayman. like, sorry pac fans but i was hella biased to keep him as the straight man to highlight rayman lol. originally this battle was supposed to have writing inspired by exociety but erm….. teehee! i forewent all that and rolled with my own shit which did well for my mental.

i think i struggled finding an identity for this battle during the first few parts, and found the sauce in the middle of raymans 1st. i had been attached to a couple of bum ideas in their 1st’s but once i broke out of that like, bar machine mindset and did my own thing with actually setting up an angle with a punch w/o worrying abt material and references, it felt so good and i think that sorta mindset can really help make my writing more cohesive and consistent if i were to ever return to making rap battles seriously.

Pacman VS Rayman - 12 Bars of Dissmas #11

Recorded September 2024

8/12

Prod by Raias Beats


Jesus (0:21) 

Socrates, child, say your prayers and get on your knees, 
God will bring forty days of rain to cleanse your awful deeds
Tread the sinful path with no sandals and now your body reeks
I honestly should use this opportunity to wash your feet

Your entire philosophy is going “Why?” constantly
You’re always the opposite, so be a lamb and get off my property
You want to be contrarian? Then I oughta be
Making your sad life a Divine Comedy

Ironically, he stayed when he was caught then freed
His conscience seemed to haunt him since his court hearing was simply an Apology
Follow God’s plan if the one that Greece had got decreed is not your speed
For I’ve shown him the Lord knows how to plot a scheme

Socrates (0:51)

You’re right, he works in mysterious ways
I wonder, for someone who loves us, he’s seething with rage
He must’ve just flooded his follower’s ears with that rain
‘Cause God sees all, is that why the church is fearing the gaze?

(Ahem) You don’t practise ethics with that old-fashioned metric
The Socratic Method will show that you’re method acting as a peasant
For he had inherited his dad in heaven’s status and yet as an act to blend in, 
He was found defending… tax collection?

Betrayed the Jews, now you’re removed from their chapters
And it ain’t communion, but I’ll chew out a cracker
Don’t need a thousand eyes to see past his ‘miracle’ magic tricks
Clearly, White Jesus isn’t biblically accurate

Jesus (1:21) 

Alright wise guy, oracles knew you were finicky
See, you screwed your delivery before this superstar hit the scene
You can keep winging debates with tirades and spiels,
And throw in a Hail Mary, cause I’ll take the wheel!

Who’d put money on Devil’s Advocate? It’s in God that We Trust
Poisoning the youth won’t fend the hemlock you drink from
But look back, I carried you, the mark you’ve made has faded too
You eat your student’s words up as his mouthpiece, like a Plato food

Socrates (1:41)

Whereas your name is something uttered in vein
When your blood is whine, people call you just to complain
‘Cause your own temples are corrupt if you’re looking for something fishy now
The way they’re multiplying their dough should have you flipping out

Can we suppose that with your stepfather, you’re a son AND holey ghost?
For if Joseph taught you carpentry, I’ll hammer it home
He’s proud with how you had croaked
The nailed hands and feet show you were next to be an Average Joe


not much to say abt this one. i wanted to try and experiment with angles so i went w like, jesus’ first would have the whole ‘socrates’ scheme as a cool thing, and then i *tried* to write socrates’ first as closely as i could to socraticethod w just a bunch of questions and then ending off w the “white jesus isn't biblically accurate” thing but it kinda just fizzled out :/

if i were to change anything its be polishing the socratic method angle and then keeping that level of quality consistent through the rest of the thing. thats p much it haha

Jesus VS Socrates - 12 Bars of Dissmas #8

Fnf holiday heist Retake

Original Battle by PPRB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuMYwDHW4p8&ab_channel=PowerPointRapBattles 

Thumbnail and mixing by me 
Happy National Organ Donor Day! 🤗🤗🤗

Mr. Peabody vs Tock (more than One Take Covers)

Cam Greely's (VideoGameRapBattles) FNAF 3 rap song!
Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eziXvyflBM

FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S 3 RAP SONG (ft. MandoPony) - Sprung the Springtrap

WATCH THE YOUTUBE VERSION:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhS0A61HA-s

Urban Legend Rap Battles is a side series hosted on Eddie's Rap Channel featuring characters of modern and ancient folklore alike. Characters from Creepypasta, Cryptozoology, the SCP Foundation, Folklore, Gaming Mythos and more are all permitted.

Light as Ermac
Evan as MissingNo.

Ermac:
It’s Ermac on the Ermic and we burn tracks when our words smite
So if you’re asking for a fight it’s our turn Axing the Bird type
We were dispatched by the Shadow Priests and so this battle we Shao Kahn-quer
It’s a Flawless Victor-y versus Game Freak-enstien’s Monster
When it comes to the game myths, all you’re posing is fake risks
Yeah you just duplicate shit, a toy for kids to play with
You’re ancient and basic, engine more jumbled than your Hall of Fame is
We came before you, our style you ate, bit
Just look at the channel, we’re Ed’s Boon
You’ll be in the Netherrealm soon
We were created to squash out glitches and we don’t need PokeBalls to catch you
We are the holy spawn making this Pokemon woebegone
Volcanic flow it is Toasty hot roasting like Scorpion
Hope is gone, throw out your Burn Heals, you won’t respawn
The souls that make us are corrupted - and we can’t escape with a game reset
So you think that you are the toughest?  HAH! You’d best obey your new Trainer Red
After we’ve observed how we stack up against this Tetris block
This won’t be the first time Nintendo has had to censor us

MissingNo:
You’ve crossed my path... Still wanting to fight?
You’re bringing an Axe to a Water Gun fight
I’d be more threatened by a Substitute with your ninja arts
I’ll leave you washed up and coasting from my Cinna-bars
Can’t diss my coding, i’ve remained a classic
20 years later, beloved by the masses
Your Inner Workings have left you panned
Parents worldwide want you Ketsubanned
But seeing through your violent facade is out of your Silph Scope
The only time you could hip hop is when you choose Animality as your kill blow
MissingNo’s got disses, flow, and Helix off the Dome
And I’ll stick it to this Old Man like he’s in Amber geode
This Bird-type will flip ya but you’ve already changed your side once
Cry, run, go find another Khan dick to Rhydon

Ermac:
Stick to your binary - we are many, you are zeroes, ones
Ripping off our flow like all your shots were from a SiivaGun
If you don’t know us, you’re Jaded
Hold your corruption and save it
Ermac’s strength is undebated
Your swan song’s being Tsung

MissingNo:
If your power’s to be believed, then you’d best go and harness it
This telekinesis genius can’t raise a single argument
It’s an ESRB ERB - We are both known to break the PC
Your file’s destroyed and now you can’t flee - Watch me make more than just data bleed
It’s the original legend, spittin’ a diss at a peasant
Leaving your cabinet quartered, glitching to dish a beheading
Listen, i’m livid, you wanna hit me, you’ll wish that you hadn’t
Rip you to shreds and sever you, missing your wits
I’ve de-Krypted you and now I see that all of your hopes for the future were stabbed through
Claim you’re the cool one but ask any kid nowadays and they’ll all say “Ermac Who?”
You’re built on corruption and now this franchise no one loves dies
I’d say it’s a Fatality, but your battery’s run dry

Written by Eddiefrb
Mixed by Freshy Kanal and GamingPlush64
Beat prod. by Anywaywell and Freshy Kanal
Illustrations by BMB

Mr. Peabody vs Tock (more than One Take Covers)

ClarenceTheDuck

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