songs ive written

a complete remake of an old playlist, with the same name, from about two years ago. i was unable to log into the old account, not able to edit the playlist, so i just made it here. contains the same demo bangers and now, even more :3

my windows are dirty but i like the way the sun looks through my curtains (PART TWOOOOO🙁)

out on all streaming platforms: https://bit.ly/dirtyhairfetishacoustic
no
i won't sign
i can't lie
i'll be fine

well, I know it's selfish
to be myself
but I can't help it
will you love me
will you drug me up so I can't feel this pain

feel this pain
feel this pain
i feel this pain

i promise you
i'll be fine
if you decide
to change your mind

i won't be around you
i don't care
i'll be gone
i'll be out of all your hair
your luscious luscious luscious hair
all your hair
i'm inside my mind and I can't find my way out

all by me, inside and out.
HTML - HARVEST THE MOST LUCK

https://instagram.com/sonyahtml
https://twitter.com/sonyahtml

dirty hair fetish (acoustic)

i don't own this track i have only edited it.

Rises The Moon - Liana Flores (Slowed and Reverb)

I saw you in the school play, and it made me want to die.

Ande Estrella comes from a multicultural background--she musically and lyrically expels her perspective as a Filipina-American woman who experiences white privilege. She wrote "Purple Flowers" observing racial injustice that exists, specifically in the United States, melodically grasping the weight of what is in and out of reach as a small but significant individual.

This somber, haunting anthem illustrates Purple Flowers that fall off jacaranda trees, representing the illusion of modern day America which appears beautiful and free, at the expense of unnecessary wealth and exploitation of its people. It observes whitewashing alike to a country doing its laundry--"shrinking history in driers, teaching whiter in school"

Purple Flowers

"dont u cry its over now" are the only words I wanna hear
no blue skies have come around here
at least as of lately

say they're fine enough to smile..
are they really fine enough to live?
near 18 but still a child
I am truly no adult in the slightest

the the the days are re p p p peating
cant stop drinking empty feelings
(I'm an alcoholic)
the the the time is t t t ticking
still cant find a single reason like them
are they really happy?..

cause I see them fcking living
maybe they don't have to worry like me
maybe they don't have to worry like I've been lately

look in glass, I'm swinging words at my body like they're wrecking balls
i guess its what i deserve
life is truly one A-team throwing curveballs

the the the shadows are c c c creeping
on the walls and on the ceiling
(oh its so psychotic)
c cause the sun is still b b b beaming
still cant find a single reason like them
are they really happy?

cause I see them fcking living
maybe they don't have to worry like me
maybe they don't have to worry like I've been...

lately I've been wasting time
emptiness has filled my mind to the point i cant move forward
lately I've been telling lies
saying i don't want to die
but i love our apartment and my corner
i truly cant think anywhere warmer

and maybe i don't need to worry like
yeah maybe i don't need to worry like I've been lately

Lately (worry like me)

you wanna know where your heart is?
last night did you feel me break in?
with a loose thread and a paper clip
i sewed the evidence right back up

i wanna know why you’re distant
i’m scared baby what are you planning?
a detective, you’ve been leaving hints
you broke our promises and my trust

well dont go looking
where you’re not gonna find it
i dug some graves
last night when we fought and i
hid the safe and i
know some places so far away from here

your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

and ill let you know where i hid your heart

i catch clues when we’re fighting
your words up for interpretation
when i asked you if im your favorite
you hesitated ‘yes’, like theres more than one

you’re responding
like there’s something that you’re hiding

you better not go looking
cause you’re not gonna find it
i dug some graves
last night when we fought and i
hid the safe and i
know some places so far away from here

your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

i need to know
where’s your suitcase babe?
half our closets has disappeared
look at my face, dont turn away
i swear i’m not crazy i’m acting out of all the fear

that you’ll leave me
with no regards for my feelings

dont go looking
cause babe i took it
and i booked a plane
to a place with no name so far away from here

oh, your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

and i’ll let you know where i hid your heart

hid your heart rough demo

if i had the motivation i wouldve re recorded these vocals but whateva
this one is just a reminder to myself and maybe u

the bridge is atrocious but its ok we will get through it


this one isnt to garner a grand reaction
im here to give you a hug
just trust, some things are larger than handy sadness
i hear you try then give up

listen to the syncopation of your breathin
don’t escape cause you can’t make it make believing

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel around, you’re moving
i see you, and i promise

get up, join me in walking along the sidewalk
sunshine and time are a cure
your love was more important than you ever thought
it’s time you love a little more

listen you don’t need the famous that you’re thinkin
you’re escaping from the places you believe in

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel the ground, i promise

and it might seem contradicting
but there’s stability in your movement
when you’ve got no motivation
just remember it’s ok to sleep in

some steps seem invisible
but they’re in your peripheral
i promise
i promise

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel the ground, you’re moving
even if you don’t think it
i see you, i promise
there’s stability
in small steps

small steps demo

oh, there is a lost year
somewhere between you and i
you smell like a garden
i want to be twisted in your vines

i just want to feel you
running around my pavement
ooh, tell me i’m your favorite
minor inconvenience
and i’ll return the feeling

just grow
and i would crack to marry your devotion
interwoven
we could be the garden and the pavement

you gave me a flower
bright red and pink, but i got you stepped on
enter infestation
the doubt that I think i’m not what you want

but i want to feel you
running around my pavement
ooh, tell me i’m your favorite
minor inconvenience
and i’ll return the feeling

just grow
and i would crack to marry your devotion
interwoven
we could be the garden and the pavement

cracks and petals cut were bound to come
when we were never meant to love
but that doesn’t mean we can’t break rules
this is filthy love but it’s golden and
the whole world needs to know it
but i dont like convincing you

the garden & the pavement DEMO

my only memory
is of you and i on the couch
autumn's first breeze and
september's sun down
if it weren't for the candles
we'd be the warmest thing in the room
cause you're too hot to handle
for somebody who knows how to lose

and i guess that's why a therapist
writes half of all my lyrics
i give credit where it’s due
if therapy is listening, i love you

now that i’m 18
i know damn well a rock can’t talk
but i saw that movie
and it changed the way i stare at a wall

i think you’re funny
but i’ve conditioned myself to laugh
cause i want you to love me
but humor's something i don’t have

and i guess that’s why a narcissist
writes half of all my lyrics
i give credit where it’s due
i know i’m always listening, it’s all i do
if therapy is listening
mary if you’re listening
i swear i’m always listening
it's all i do

my only memory

i want you to sing so beautifully
light up the world with your harmonies
take all of the time that you need
no matter what I’ll be waiting

for you
it’s true
i’ll be waiting for you

sing to me sling x2
sing to me
[repeat]

abstraction and little things hold familiarity
i swear i dedicate everything to you sling

sling

This song is for Edmond, who was one of my first friends in the Bay. He is still missing after the devastating fire at an Oakland art collective on 12/2. He showed me the Sibylle Baier record, Colour Green, right when we first met. The dude had impeccable taste. We all have different ways of processing, and this is mine. I love you dude. 

All proceeds from this song will be donated to the Fire Relief Fund on this site: www.youcaring.com/firevictimsofoaklandfiredec232016-706684

my only memory

sketchist