songs ive written

some of my demos

painless living

"dont u cry its over now" are the only words I wanna hear
no blue skies have come around here
at least as of lately

say they're fine enough to smile..
are they really fine enough to live?
near 18 but still a child
I am truly no adult in the slightest

the the the days are re p p p peating
cant stop drinking empty feelings
(I'm an alcoholic)
the the the time is t t t ticking
still cant find a single reason like them
are they really happy?..

cause I see them fcking living
maybe they don't have to worry like me
maybe they don't have to worry like I've been lately

look in glass, I'm swinging words at my body like they're wrecking balls
i guess its what i deserve
life is truly one A-team throwing curveballs

the the the shadows are c c c creeping
on the walls and on the ceiling
(oh its so psychotic)
c cause the sun is still b b b beaming
still cant find a single reason like them
are they really happy?

cause I see them fcking living
maybe they don't have to worry like me
maybe they don't have to worry like I've been...

lately I've been wasting time
emptiness has filled my mind to the point i cant move forward
lately I've been telling lies
saying i don't want to die
but i love our apartment and my corner
i truly cant think anywhere warmer

and maybe i don't need to worry like
yeah maybe i don't need to worry like I've been lately

Lately (worry like me)

sickbreaker (bedhed cover)

you wanna know where your heart is?
last night did you feel me break in?
with a loose thread and a paper clip
i sewed the evidence right back up

i wanna know why you’re distant
i’m scared baby what are you planning?
a detective, you’ve been leaving hints
you broke our promises and my trust

well dont go looking
where you’re not gonna find it
i dug some graves
last night when we fought and i
hid the safe and i
know some places so far away from here

your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

and ill let you know where i hid your heart

i catch clues when we’re fighting
your words up for interpretation
when i asked you if im your favorite
you hesitated ‘yes’, like theres more than one

you’re responding
like there’s something that you’re hiding

you better not go looking
cause you’re not gonna find it
i dug some graves
last night when we fought and i
hid the safe and i
know some places so far away from here

your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

i need to know
where’s your suitcase babe?
half our closets has disappeared
look at my face, dont turn away
i swear i’m not crazy i’m acting out of all the fear

that you’ll leave me
with no regards for my feelings

dont go looking
cause babe i took it
and i booked a plane
to a place with no name so far away from here

oh, your eyes are facing
the wrong faces
im right in front of you
isolated
just tell me why we’re falling apart

and i’ll let you know where i hid your heart

hid your heart rough demo

if i had the motivation i wouldve re recorded these vocals but whateva
this one is just a reminder to myself and maybe u

the bridge is atrocious but its ok we will get through it


this one isnt to garner a grand reaction
im here to give you a hug
just trust, some things are larger than handy sadness
i hear you try then give up

listen to the syncopation of your breathin
don’t escape cause you can’t make it make believing

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel around, you’re moving
i see you, and i promise

get up, join me in walking along the sidewalk
sunshine and time are a cure
your love was more important than you ever thought
it’s time you love a little more

listen you don’t need the famous that you’re thinkin
you’re escaping from the places you believe in

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel the ground, i promise

and it might seem contradicting
but there’s stability in your movement
when you’ve got no motivation
just remember it’s ok to sleep in

some steps seem invisible
but they’re in your peripheral
i promise
i promise

we are taking small steps
im here, right beside you
its ok, leave your head
feel the ground, you’re moving
even if you don’t think it
i see you, i promise
there’s stability
in small steps

small steps demo

oh, there is a lost year
somewhere between you and i
you smell like a garden
i want to be twisted in your vines

i just want to feel you
running around my pavement
ooh, tell me i’m your favorite
minor inconvenience
and i’ll return the feeling

just grow
and i would crack to marry your devotion
interwoven
we could be the garden and the pavement

you gave me a flower
bright red and pink, but i got you stepped on
enter infestation
the doubt that I think i’m not what you want

but i want to feel you
running around my pavement
ooh, tell me i’m your favorite
minor inconvenience
and i’ll return the feeling

just grow
and i would crack to marry your devotion
interwoven
we could be the garden and the pavement

cracks and petals cut were bound to come
when we were never meant to love
but that doesn’t mean we can’t break rules
this is filthy love but it’s golden and
the whole world needs to know it
but i dont like convincing you

the garden & the pavement DEMO

super short wrote this super fast

living inside me
there’s a black hole
eating every feel

oh i want to be emotional baby
i want to cry all the tears stored in heaven
i want to be affectionate baby
i want to live in a pool full of emotion

living life blindly
how am i sposed to move
if my guide isn’t around?

do i need to find it?
what if my emotions aren’t even real?

oh i want to be emotional baby
i want to cry all the tears stored in heaven
i want to be affectionate baby
i want to live in a pool full of emotion

EMOTIONAL

i want you to sing so beautifully
light up the world with your harmonies
take all of the time that you need
no matter what I’ll be waiting

for you
it’s true
i’ll be waiting for you

sing to me sling x2
sing to me
[repeat]

abstraction and little things hold familiarity
i swear i dedicate everything to you sling

sling

it’s good to know
that you don’t know
that i know everything about you
do you even know what day it is?
you see the way
i see your face
i play all your little games
so don’t make me wait for this

just let me be your valentine
leave it up to me
to make a mess of what isn’t mine
now you cant ask me to be your valentine
if i dont try
to not cross the lines
i just wanna cross your mind
can you be mine?

silence is a virtue
and you’re taking advantage
my dreams will come true
you’re just leaving me stranded
stranded

just let me be your valentine
leave it up to me
to make a mess of what isn’t mine
now you cant ask me to be your valentine
if i dont try
to not cross the lines
i just wanna cross your mind
can you be mine?

can you say
“can you be mine?”
mine

if i don’t try
to not cross the lines
i just wanna cross your mind
can’t you say
“won’t you be mine?”

Valentine's day

sketchist