when past and future collide
when demons of doubt and fear that you hide
become too much of a mountain to climb
when your body is hurting and your soul is too tired
and all you want to do is hide
when your life is filled with stress and chaos
and you know everything isn't right
and bills keep piling up
and your baby is crying
and your lives are on the line

and you still have to find time
and you still have to find time

to love and hope
and heal and cope
and live and laugh
and forgive the past
and work and play
and live another day
and get down on your knees
and pray

when love and lust collide
when you're crying out for help and no one can hear you
and you feel like you just want to die
when you know truth but you keep up the lie
and it eats you up inside
when you feel like your whole life is one big trauma
and you can't run from it no matter how hard you try
when you envy everyone around you
and you don't want to face it
but you know you can't hide

and you still have to find time
and you still have to find time

to love and hope
and heal and cope
and live and laugh
and forgive the past
and work and play
and live another day
and get down on your knees
and pray

find time

living easy
where robbers meet
in boardroom seats
and clean sheets
means mean streaks

oh, you say you got it easy
windy cities make it breezy
smile–don't look cheesy
life’s a lemon, squeeze it, please me
down on my knees, do you see me?
it’s so easy
it’s so easy

I talk in my sleep
dig in too deep
count black sheep
where shepherds creep
preaching talk is cheap
(talk is cheap)

broken leases, broken peace
whatever gets another piece of pie
or a piece on your hip when you walk outside
I’m not keen on green but my sheen implies
that I’ve been to where dreams go to die
check receipts, check deceit
take a seat, admit defeat
ctrl-alt-cease
got fleece for cold shoulders
my niece is getting older
world is getting colder

I’m a soldier
beauty is in the eye
I’m the beholder
I’m a soldier
(talk is cheap)

I talk in my sleep
dig in too deep
count black sheep
where shepherds creep
preaching talk is cheap
(talk is cheap)

easy come
easy go
(talk is cheap)

easy (talk is cheap)

been painting portraits inside of the paint
no sinners or saints, just pumping the weight
of “the thing", on the move, as it tears us apart
and how self-defense became state-of-the-art

clean up the glass, see it all clear
(see?)
toast with fate–to the end of fear
(see?)
then shatter the glass down to the floor
(see?)
to keep score where demons soar
(dreams)

movement flows
motion is law
draw attention
draw out flaws
draw up a play
play with fate
be on time, but…
the thing is late

(the thing is…)
trying to... break arcs
trying to… dim sparks
so I’m… so I’m…
trying to… make art
trying with… spare parts
so I… so I… 
take a shot… and it starts
(and one)

post up heavy, post up light
guard what’s left, do what’s right
cut through static–what a knife
pivot your feet, that’s life
don’t travel to score
travel to see
the world is on lock
play is key
(be free)

release is peace
movement’s a cure
the swish..
is sincere
(and one)

and one

look, I’m changing shape
(is there no escape?)
about to burst, going ape
armor’s on, the purple drapes
quite dark with arts, like Snape
DM style, wear a cape
fit every opp inside a tape
sweet life, yeah, I eat grapes
cloudy flow, yeah, I hit the vape
yeah I clean plates of heavy freight
wait, power level past nine thousand
million, billion, trillion–fate
cut my pride, so I berate
those who step over gates, say
it’s never too late, and nothing I ate
was given to me, skill’s not innate
savage blood is a dominant trait
don’t do it for glory, do it for the sake
of people watching worlds break
where everything you see is fake
sleeping on the boy? stay awake
I’ll throw you in then drown the lake
with anything you tried to take
iterate, erase, re-create
and I make
mistakes.
so many mistakes.
pick up the pace
kamehameha right into your face
disappear, leave no trace
run up stats, win every race
spray your eyes like I’m the mace
open up the brief, I’m the case
from another world, I’m outer space
on I chase, on I chase, on I chase
what did they say? I don’t play
stay in lines? nah, I don’t play
fuck games, I don’t play
(I don’t play)

going ape

little swallow, little bird
ice is melting, seasons turn
cut through static, give the word
grant us grace from bridges burned

can you hear it?

coming ’round again?
(where have we been?)
let love come rushing in
to wash the spirit clean
of everything we’ve seen
little bird, little bird
(where have we been?)

it catches prayers you never said
heavy thoughts inside your head
it sees the quiet ways you care
when you think no one is there
it’s been collecting every spark
to burn a hole inside the dark

coming ’round again?
(where have we been?)
let love come rushing in
to wash the spirit clean
(where have we been?)
of everything we’ve seen
little bird, little bird
(where have we been?)

follow the calling deep within
let a brand new morning in

little bird
little bird
little bird
little bird

little bird

take, take, taking a
field trip in a microchip
data mined with hollow tips
the past is just a sunken ship
but I’m captain now so get a grip
take a sip
let it rip
(drip, drip, drip)

forget tricks, I flip bics
illuminating crypts
(who asked for a mystic?)
I go ballistic with statistics
(average is cliché)
I break away on freeways

stop hissing
do you hear hissing?

I’m not listening
signal missing
what did I miss?
(did I miss?)
snakes pissing on ambition
see the friction?
so I write fiction
addicted to diction
a fatal addition
to a fatal affliction—
the mission—
flipping systems
(convicted)

ain't that a bitch?
(ain’t that a bitch?)
thirty-six years digging ditches
to find out I’m the ditch
an empty void where I don’t fit
(but I won’t quit)
(persist)

nah, I’m going in
(the abyss)
you coming with?
check your wrist
does time exist?
make a wish
blow a kiss

take chances
make mistakes
GET MESSY!
(ms. Frizzle!?)

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I’m so cold
logist-ic, unrealist-ic
get away from me with lipstick
I’m focused on the dipsticks
the burning oil—engine sickness

am I just a lunatic
or Jeremiah laying bricks
(laying bricks)
laying bricks
(laying bricks)
taking licks
(taking licks)
fixing ticks

nah, I’m going in
(the abyss)
you coming with?
check your wrist
does time exist?
make a wish
blow a kiss

MESSY

check the logic. it’s cold and systemic
a hunger so global, the fear is pandemic
survival? anemic. so let’s get polemic
standing on sidelines, acting prophetic
that’s been my aesthetic
I’ve been pathetic, see
choices out there are harrowing
walls out there are narrowing
if I’m out here collecting dimes
is that selling out or buying time?

systems are rigged, it’s explicit
acting with scorn means I’m complicit
I won’t add to the deficit of love
I won’t push the spirit down just to prove I can break it

I see machines hurting people, it’s massive
my rage against machines can’t be passive
I have to find a way to be effective
to change perspectives

I’m unappreciative
God, it’s so pervasive
the urge to be evasive or abrasive 
I’m trying to find a motive that’s creative
but creation is destruction

here’s a terrifying variable
burdens aren’t curable
I have to teach my kids the world can be terrible
without making their lives unbearable
how do I pass the heat without passing the scorch?
I don’t want them to inherit cynicism
but I can’t lie about the mechanisms
I can’t lie about the prison

decades of liability
managing volatility
testing stability 
to hold anger and love with mobility
I call that agility
I might never master the facility
I might never find tranquility
but I have to try
for the sake of possibility
I pray they can survive hostility
with their hearts intact

I’m unappreciative
but I’m working on my narrative
I’m fighting the imperative
to burn it all down
just trying to live

unappreciative

I’m auditing the structure of integrity
scanning fractures in the spine of my identity
performative, benevolent, masks of serenity
underneath, rotting in obscurity
fragmented, disjointed, incoherent
falsity is parasitic, the sickness is inherent
I speak in dialects and scripts I never wrote
I’ve choked on lies lodged deep in my own throat
I have a mirror but the image is distorted
every noble impulse I ever had has been aborted
by cowardice of comfort, the sedation of the herd
I’m terrified to utter another single honest word
because truth is a scalpel, truth is severance
it cuts through piety, it cuts through reverence
leaves you left bloody with who you really are
a creature full of malice gazing up at stars

if you don't burn them, lies build cells
and pave roads right down to Hell
so call the Devil by his name
strike a match, feed the flame

deadwood, dry rot, accumulation
a psyche of tinder waits for incineration
think you’re avoiding pain? Hallucination
you’re adding interest to the devastation
burning is mandatory, suffering is constant
choose sacrifice or living as a respondent
consequence of chaos, totalitarian states
manifesting gulag through things we tolerate
we know where bodies are
we know how to manufacture avatars
a collective psychosis born of individual lies
closing eyes to truth as benevolence dies
so I’m standing, contending with a monster
not the one under the bed, the one I foster
the malevolence inside me waiting for a slip

and it hurts
God, it hurts to let parts of you die
to witness ego shrivel up and vaporize
but look at the alternative
look at what happens when we don't
we make Hell

making Hell

I hear scratching in the plaster
every second, louder, faster
backed into a pillar of cold stone
it’s getting warmer, I’m not alone
a sea of teeth, a flood of limbs
of doubt and sin and could have beens
I’m tearing up, I’m tearing apart
a hole in the sky like the hole in my heart
I didn't ask for war, I didn't ask for a siege
I’m looking to God, but I can’t find a friend
I’m just trying to get from here to the end

it’s too late to run
it’s too dark to see

don’t look down, don’t look down
look at the lies, look at the sins
look at the lives we’ve built collapsing in
don’t look down
look in

she’s bound to the floor
she’s bound for the sky
she keeps asking why?
why choose this life?

I see gold in tears on her face
I see proof of infinite grace
but I can’t take her hand, I know the cost
if I let her save me, then I’m what’s lost
I want to be safe! I want to be held!
I can sell pain and bargain for breath
I can’t cheat life to beat death

I look at Her
I look at the blood
and I smirk
still covered in some

don't look Down

processes get vicious when promises are fictitious
a phoenix is rising but looking suspicious
I’m peeling back layers to unwrap the present
it’s unpleasant to witness remnants
peasant is just another name for tenant
so I severed bonds to see beyond
no magic wand just a vagabond soul

in a crucible irreproducible
a truth irrefusable–pain is usable
I make musical waste with terrible taste
running a race with limited space
manifesting isolation
strangled creation
no salvation just more agitation
communication via amputation
feeling cathartic aiming at targets
another artist with bloody carpets

pride can’t be silent
complexity is violent
pride can’t be silent
complexity is violent

retention of detention during ascension means
dimensions of tension beyond comprehension
I reject extensions of prevention of Intention

pride can’t be silent
complexity is violent
pride can’t be silent
complexity is violent
shh–I’m learning resilience


silent violence

The voices are synthetic
The pain is real

find time

Slate Theory

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