every square is a mine
every square is mine

King in check
but checking out means checking in
to deeper sin
where I begin
again, again, again
again

fronting like I got options, but options
keep me locked in boxes
toxic thoughts on rotation
station never changes
just the playlist of damnation

move and die, stay and die
every choice is suicide
board's alive, I'm the price
in a war I can't decide
move and die, stay and die
clock is ticking–asking why
every square is sacrifice, so
I roll the dice, with my own life

patterns pacing, racing thoughts running laps
mind maps caught in mouse traps
snap decisions snap back at me
therapist said just breathe
but breathing's involuntary movement
improvement through stillness feels like complicity
my complicity with my own hostility
hostility towards the very possibility
of possibility
so I possibility myself to death

every breath–a piece moved wrong
song on repeat, defeat on repeat
keeps on going when the beat should stop
shopping for new in the same old stores
more of what I swore I wouldn't do before
before was just a different configuration
of the same interrogation room
I resume, I resume, I resume, I consume
fumes of assumed outcomes that never assume back
lack of action is an action
I'm reacting to my own reaction
fractions of attention paid to paying attention
tension in not sensing I’m not mentioning
the thing, the thing I can not stop mentioning

move and die, stay and die
(stay and die)
every choice is suicide
(suicide)
board's alive, I'm the price
in a war I can't decide
move and die, stay and die
(stay and die)
clock is ticking–asking why
(why?)
every square is sacrifice, so
(why?)
I roll the dice, with my own life
(my own life)

zugzwang

living easy
where robbers meet
in boardroom seats
and clean sheets
means mean streaks

oh, you say you got it easy
windy cities make it breezy
smile–don't look cheesy
life’s a lemon, squeeze it, please me
down on my knees, do you see me?
it’s so easy
it’s so easy

I talk in my sleep
dig in too deep
count black sheep
where shepherds creep
preaching talk is cheap
(talk is cheap)

broken leases, broken peace
whatever gets another piece of pie
or a piece on your hip when you walk outside
I’m not keen on green but my sheen implies
that I’ve been to where dreams go to die
check receipts, check deceit
take a seat, admit defeat
ctrl-alt-cease
got fleece for cold shoulders
my niece is getting older
world is getting colder

I’m a soldier
beauty is in the eye
I’m the beholder
I’m a soldier
(talk is cheap)

I talk in my sleep
dig in too deep
count black sheep
where shepherds creep
preaching talk is cheap
(talk is cheap)

easy come
easy go
(talk is cheap)

easy (talk is cheap)

been painting portraits inside of the paint
no sinners or saints, just pumping the weight
of “the thing", on the move, as it tears us apart
and how self-defense became state-of-the-art

clean up the glass, see it all clear
(see?)
toast with fate–to the end of fear
(see?)
then shatter the glass down to the floor
(see?)
to keep score where demons soar
(dreams)

movement flows
motion is law
draw attention
draw out flaws
draw up a play
play with fate
be on time, but…
the thing is late

(the thing is…)
trying to... break arcs
trying to… dim sparks
so I’m… so I’m…
trying to… make art
trying with… spare parts
so I… so I… 
take a shot… and it starts
(and one)

post up heavy, post up light
guard what’s left, do what’s right
cut through static–what a knife
pivot your feet, that’s life
don’t travel to score
travel to see
the world is on lock
play is key
(be free)

release is peace
movement’s a cure
the swish..
is sincere
(and one)

and one

look, I’m changing shape
(is there no escape?)
about to burst, going ape
armor’s on, the purple drapes
quite dark with arts, like Snape
DM style, wear a cape
fit every opp inside a tape
sweet life, yeah, I eat grapes
cloudy flow, yeah, I hit the vape
yeah I clean plates of heavy freight
wait, power level past nine thousand
million, billion, trillion–fate
cut my pride, so I berate
those who step over gates, say
it’s never too late, and nothing I ate
was given to me, skill’s not innate
savage blood is a dominant trait
don’t do it for glory, do it for the sake
of people watching worlds break
where everything you see is fake
sleeping on the boy? stay awake
I’ll throw you in then drown the lake
with anything you tried to take
iterate, erase, re-create
and I make
mistakes.
so many mistakes.
pick up the pace
kamehameha right into your face
disappear, leave no trace
run up stats, win every race
spray your eyes like I’m the mace
open up the brief, I’m the case
from another world, I’m outer space
on I chase, on I chase, on I chase
what did they say? I don’t play
stay in lines? nah, I don’t play
fuck games, I don’t play
(I don’t play)

going ape

little swallow, little bird
ice is melting, seasons turn
cut through static, give the word
grant us grace from bridges burned

can you hear it?

coming ’round again?
(where have we been?)
let love come rushing in
to wash the spirit clean
of everything we’ve seen
little bird, little bird
(where have we been?)

it catches prayers you never said
heavy thoughts inside your head
it sees the quiet ways you care
when you think no one is there
it’s been collecting every spark
to burn a hole inside the dark

coming ’round again?
(where have we been?)
let love come rushing in
to wash the spirit clean
(where have we been?)
of everything we’ve seen
little bird, little bird
(where have we been?)

follow the calling deep within
let a brand new morning in

little bird
little bird
little bird
little bird

little bird

take, take, taking a
field trip in a microchip
data mined with hollow tips
the past is just a sunken ship
but I’m captain now so get a grip
take a sip
let it rip
(drip, drip, drip)

forget tricks, I flip bics
illuminating crypts
(who asked for a mystic?)
I go ballistic with statistics
(average is cliché)
I break away on freeways

stop hissing
do you hear hissing?

I’m not listening
signal missing
what did I miss?
(did I miss?)
snakes pissing on ambition
see the friction?
so I write fiction
addicted to diction
a fatal addition
to a fatal affliction—
the mission—
flipping systems
(convicted)

ain't that a bitch?
(ain’t that a bitch?)
thirty-six years digging ditches
to find out I’m the ditch
an empty void where I don’t fit
(but I won’t quit)
(persist)

nah, I’m going in
(the abyss)
you coming with?
check your wrist
does time exist?
make a wish
blow a kiss

take chances
make mistakes
GET MESSY!
(ms. Frizzle!?)

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I’m so cold
logist-ic, unrealist-ic
get away from me with lipstick
I’m focused on the dipsticks
the burning oil—engine sickness

am I just a lunatic
or Jeremiah laying bricks
(laying bricks)
laying bricks
(laying bricks)
taking licks
(taking licks)
fixing ticks

nah, I’m going in
(the abyss)
you coming with?
check your wrist
does time exist?
make a wish
blow a kiss

MESSY

check the logic. it’s cold and systemic
a hunger so global, the fear is pandemic
survival? anemic. so let’s get polemic
standing on sidelines, acting prophetic
that’s been my aesthetic
I’ve been pathetic, see
choices out there are harrowing
walls out there are narrowing
if I’m out here collecting dimes
is that selling out or buying time?

systems are rigged, it’s explicit
acting with scorn means I’m complicit
I won’t add to the deficit of love
I won’t push the spirit down just to prove I can break it

I see machines hurting people, it’s massive
my rage against machines can’t be passive
I have to find a way to be effective
to change perspectives

I’m unappreciative
God, it’s so pervasive
the urge to be evasive or abrasive 
I’m trying to find a motive that’s creative
but creation is destruction

here’s a terrifying variable
burdens aren’t curable
I have to teach my kids the world can be terrible
without making their lives unbearable
how do I pass the heat without passing the scorch?
I don’t want them to inherit cynicism
but I can’t lie about the mechanisms
I can’t lie about the prison

decades of liability
managing volatility
testing stability 
to hold anger and love with mobility
I call that agility
I might never master the facility
I might never find tranquility
but I have to try
for the sake of possibility
I pray they can survive hostility
with their hearts intact

I’m unappreciative
but I’m working on my narrative
I’m fighting the imperative
to burn it all down
just trying to live

unappreciative

I’m auditing the structure of integrity
scanning fractures in the spine of my identity
performative, benevolent, masks of serenity
underneath, rotting in obscurity
fragmented, disjointed, incoherent
falsity is parasitic, the sickness is inherent
I speak in dialects and scripts I never wrote
I’ve choked on lies lodged deep in my own throat
I have a mirror but the image is distorted
every noble impulse I ever had has been aborted
by cowardice of comfort, the sedation of the herd
I’m terrified to utter another single honest word
because truth is a scalpel, truth is severance
it cuts through piety, it cuts through reverence
leaves you left bloody with who you really are
a creature full of malice gazing up at stars

if you don't burn them, lies build cells
and pave roads right down to Hell
so call the Devil by his name
strike a match, feed the flame

deadwood, dry rot, accumulation
a psyche of tinder waits for incineration
think you’re avoiding pain? Hallucination
you’re adding interest to the devastation
burning is mandatory, suffering is constant
choose sacrifice or living as a respondent
consequence of chaos, totalitarian states
manifesting gulag through things we tolerate
we know where bodies are
we know how to manufacture avatars
a collective psychosis born of individual lies
closing eyes to truth as benevolence dies
so I’m standing, contending with a monster
not the one under the bed, the one I foster
the malevolence inside me waiting for a slip

and it hurts
God, it hurts to let parts of you die
to witness ego shrivel up and vaporize
but look at the alternative
look at what happens when we don't
we make Hell

making Hell

The voices are synthetic
The pain is real

making Hell

Slate Theory

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