Love you 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“She doesn’t miss me” I swear 😮‍💨

Some of the songs that I've most enjoyed from different artists over the years or that mean a lot to me.
I tired to organise it in a way that the genres are not too over the place.
Please listen, they deserve it.
Different genres and vibes but 100% good stuff.

I think you should listen

co produced w @speedlmt

lyric

i don't wanna die but i don't wanna try
when your not here w me i get a teary eye
my dreams are lucid, they gonna get you 
how can i prove it, that your the issue 

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

decomposing in the mirror posing 
spooky black my father:3 stop diagnosing 
why do i bother, im controlling, im the victim. forever rolling;

a sob sandwich its kinda adequate
let me swallow it, these my bandages
songs just foru cos i said it is !
of grams not sedatives, dont know what day it is:(
pop another sedative?

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

I DON'T WANNA DIE BUT I DON'T WANNA TRY
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE W ME I GET A TEARY EYE
MY DREAMS ARE LUCID, THEY GONNA GET YOU 
HOW CAN I PROVE IT, THAT YOUR THE ISSUE 
I GOT THESE TISSUES, OH FUCK I MISS U
WILL YOU BE HERE SOON SO I CAN KISS U
I CAN'T STOP SHAKING IM FOREVER BREAKING
I KNOW YOU LIKE THAT, ITS NEVER CHANGING

pine

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

produced by jpjp
vocals + lyrics by heylog & i'm geist

lyrics:
your caught around my throat
i don't think you wanna know what i know
you remember we were close
now i don't call you a bro anymore
watch out i might contain hostility
you say u know but you don't know me
i guess i'm used to it
people that i know always abusing it

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

so long, won’t accept my defeat
i know i’m running out of time
but i can’t even breathe

lost cause, threw me into the sea
it’s not what i wanted to be
they prayed i drowned in the deep

but i’m holding on
there’s so much left inside of my head that i’m fighting for
what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars
what went wrong?
i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

through my veins, through my skin

SPOTIFY

heylog & i'm geist - through the veins, through my skin (jpjp)

secret (ft. skele, sendflowrs, shinju)

produced by sleepwater and leftquiet

we're all trapped in hell
cant contain it no more
im up in decibals
explaining alot, shut up u act like fool
i hate you i really i do
i go up in decibals
oh wait heres a pause i know
study my flaws you whore
i guess im sad bitch
that doesent mean im emo
i fell in love with you
thats not a thing anymore
you catch me chilling
i go up in decibels

GUESS IM PUTTING ALL INTO MY SONGS SO U LISTEN
TANKING BULLET HOLES EVERYDAY INSIDE MY PRISON
WHEN SHE LEFT SHE SAID AM I GONNA KMS 
THINK THAT I MIGHT END IT

baby dont go
happy at home
she thinks im happy she dont know
i would kill you gladly she turn ghost
i fucking need you badly you dont know
berry in my medly with bloodflow
try your best forget me i wont go
im someone who you envy, i switch flows
im fresher than some dead, ill grab a rose
im sitting in the backseat, when she awoke

I DONT WANNA USE YOU JUST DO IT YOURSELF
YOU CAN DRAG ME DOWN TOO BUT ILL FIND MY WAY OUT
i pump inside her mouth
travels down her throat
BABY DONT MAKE A SOUND
bitch she like grope
i bend her snap her spine
ill put you in a choke
ILL FUCK YOU IN THE PINE

everystep i take
doesent seem to stop my aches
twist it round and pull her face
do it now remove all grace
turn it down your ears might break
IVE GONE UP IN DECIBELS

decibel

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Come catch a feeling while we’re watching a lightning 
But nothing excites me, baby I try to hide it 
I think about you, let’s make love on the highway 
Can we get inside babe 
You know time won’t stop flying 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
We keep laughing it off, ya 

Kill time when we're driving 
It's both of us finding 
A reason to separate 
Your past is behind me 
I don't open up 
Don't wanna be judged 
Don't wanna be looked at 
I blame my gut 

I love you and you know that 
Even if you don't love me back 
I pray at night to hope you're well 
And pray again for my own self 
If I had a wish and that would be to see you laugh 
Cause I guarantee that you'll receive a smile back 
Now we both sitting there just laughing it off 
I want you to know that you were all I got 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh

laugh it off (ft. heylog)

produced by speedlmt

lyrics:
before i found u
i was going through hell
oh do you miss me
im still going through hell
i still cant even tell
what its like to be me
she doesent miss me
she doesent miss me


i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

she my bandage
walking through the forest empty handed
blood on my screen
with dirt on my shoes
where have you been
i sorta miss you
well no defiently do 
im shaking in my room
i really hate this house
im shaking in my room
i need a way out
im shaking in my room
im shaking in my room
shaking in my room

i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

isolation

oh its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore

i just cant tell you enough
my thoughts been opening up
i never said it enough 
my heart was filled with your love

i would sacrifice my love just to be on your side
gimme just another day so that i can reside
while youre waiting at the gates, ill find somewhere to hide

i need somewhere to hide
i know youre in the fields looking at me over the light
if theres a chance that you hear me singing into the night
i need to tell you that ill love you till the end of the line

you know i always cared about you
i might sleep in water hang my head whilel i cry
been 2 years now im lost without you
take me to a forest filled with water and pine

its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore

how could you take away my best friend
ive got no one to trust
ill see your face in the end
your words fill my stomach making me who i am
you wouldnt have left me, i know ill see you again

enough

produced by heylog

lyrics:
no one
no faith
spacing
as i lie awake
when i see you then
i promise i won't leave again
woke up in terror, i'm feeling confused
cover my mouth as i just heard the news
how can it be?
how can it be true?
why god, do you take the things i love most
why's it the people who feel like a home
holding back tears
until i let go
facing
toward green
outside, you're all i see
i miss your praise
no matter what, you'd always stay
with me
i need to ease on the brakes
i feel my heart in my chest
i can't control cause it aches
and no one's feeling their best
and i'm not taking it light
you felt like my only friend
who'd be with me through the night
and be with me till the end
and i have so much to say
but at the same time i don't
all of it hurts in a way
that i can't even control
it comes and goes in a wave
and everytime it's unknown
and none of this is okay
i'd rather break every-
following footprints and trails
sunlight shines right through the trees
see beauty in each detail
please say that you're just hiding
no one
no faith
spacing
as i light awake
when i see u then
i promise i won't leave again
facing
toward green
outside, ur all i see
i miss you a lot
one of a kind
and filled with love

spotify

footprints & trails

all i want (cover)
enjoy

lyrics:

all I want is nothing more
to hear you knocking at my door
cause if i could see your face once more
i could die a happy man I'm sure

when you said your last goodbye
i died a little bit inside
i lay in tears in bed all night
alone without you by my side

but if you loved me
why’d leave me?
take my body
take my body
all i wanted
and all i needed
to find somebody
i'll find somebody

like you
you
you
you

cause you brought out the best in me
a part of me i'd never seen
you took my soul and wiped it clean
our love was made for movie screens

but if you loved me
why did you leave me?
take my body
take my body
all I want is
and all I need is
to find somebody
i'll find somebody

like you
you
you
you

all i want (cover)

prod. @nevrfall

why do i even bother
kill me with your gray eyes
leaving me paralyzed
you probably care for someone better
i've been overthinking
crying while i'm writing

foolish of me getting all my hopes up
always first to talk when i should really keep my mouth shut
i know i've been such a burden
you meant so much more to me than any other person

conjure the delusion
every time i see your name 
i skip a beat because it's all in disillusion
tell me what i am now
just a boy to keep you company 
when you're cooped up in your house

ghost me
save me from the trouble
keep me from the struggle
i'm loathing
you're so irreplaceable
i'm easy to replace though
hold onto
everything that you said
echoes on in my head
invest in you
always tend to do this
end up being useless

foolish of me getting all my hopes up
always first to talk when i should really keep my mouth shut
i know i've been such a burden
you meant so much more to me than any other person
issues with attachment
pull me in with every single fraction of a second
could you set me down gently
lay us all out on the table i appreciate the honesty

maybe the lead would taste better than this

im sorry its quiet messy, it was supposed to be one take throughout i just couldnt do it, im sure you can hear. lyrics can be found on sleeps version.
i miss you sm buddy

anxiety - sleepwater (one take)

Rusty Halo 

​(Intro)

​(Verse 1)
I woke up with the Sunday bells ringing in my head
But the devil was still sleeping in my bed
Tried to wash the guilt away with morning tea
But the mirror never lies to a girl like me
I put on my white dress, tried to play the part
But there's a stain of red wine right above my heart

​(Pre-Chorus)
You look at me like I’m some kind of holy light
But you didn't see where I was walking last night
No, you didn't see me...

​(Chorus)
I tried to polish it up, but the gold is flaking off
God knows I’m trouble, baby, soft and rough
My wings are heavy and my halo’s turned to rust
Don’t look for salvation in my dust
No, don't look for heaven... in my dust.

​(Verse 2)
You say you want an angel to come and save your soul
But honey, I'm just trying to keep some kind of control
Of the fire that burns when the whiskey starts to flow
And the dark little secrets that only the night time knows
You want a saint? Well, I never applied
I'm just a sinner who’s along for the ride

​(Chorus)
'Cause I tried to polish it up, but the gold is flaking off
God knows I’m trouble, baby, soft and rough
My wings are heavy and my halo’s turned to rust
Don’t look for salvation in my dust

​(Bridge)
(Tempo zieht leicht an, Bläser werden lauter und dissonanter)
They say redemption is just a prayer away
But I forgot the words I’m supposed to say
Yeah, I moved my lips, but nothing came out
Just a cloud of smoke and a shadow of doubt...

​(Chorus)
I tried to polish it up, but the gold is flaking off
(Yeah, it's all peeling away, baby)
God knows I’m trouble, baby, soft and rough
My wings are heavy and my halo’s turned to rust
Don’t look for salvation in my dust

​(Outro)
It's rusted through, baby...
Can't shine it up no more...
Just a little bit of rust... on the floor...


Rusty Halo

this song was produced/mixed/mastered by heylog

lyrics:
im popping all my cells
where are u now
tell me this is real
cause i love to doubt
i just wanna lay on here
farther from the place ur near
i heard your whisper in my ear
3 words that ive always feared

ur easy to fall in love
i honestly cant get enough
get enough
but hey
youve pulled me away
from the bullshit and pain
i hope that i could do the same
i never been on this page
but tell
tell me this is true
i cant stand being lied to
but you
you wont admit
all the things you did

someone put me in my place
im tired of my mistakes
are u sure wanna love me
baby its too late
i just wanna lay with u
fall back in my dirty shoes
no one even has a clue
i like u cause u think im cool

ur skin and bones feelin mine
thrift shirt reflect off the light
clear frames with big pretty eyes
pretty eyes
but wait
will i see u today?
i already miss ur face
can u call me by my name
i cant go another day
but i
i was in need for your love
i guess i asked for way too much
but you
you wont do shit
you stole what i gave

shelter

produced by heylog
main guitar played by SADisfying

lyrics:
if i cant love
will i end up
lone and forgot
or spend it with someone
i cant fall in love
my hearts dead probably numb
i hope it wont be long
to heal cus its been months
if i cant love
will she leave us?
alone here in the dust
ill never get enough
my time is up
i cant think with all the fuss
these camels takin my lungs
i think of u when im buzzed

i wish youd stay home permanently
i cant sleep alone if ur in my dreams
i cant let u go this cant be happening
but ur bad for me
but ur bad for me
i still love u even if u hate me
i still want u even if u despite me
i still care for u even if u dont care for me
u were good to me
u were great for me

i never understood 
how u could put up with me
cause i barely showed love 
im still surprised u didnt leave me
now as i look back
i shouldve cherished what i had with you
call me "heyregret" 
thats how i feel with everything
i havent touched food all day
too busy making music 
she asked me if im aokay
"i listen to ur lyrics"
i dont know how to love
i show zero emotion
only in my songs
my tears could flood the ocean

if i cant love
will i end up
lone and forgot
or spend it with someone
i cant fall in love
my hearts dead probably numb
i hope it wont be long
to heal cus its been months
if i cant love
will she leave us?
alone here in the dust
ill never get enough
my time is up
i cant think with all the fuss
these camels taking my lungs
i think of u when im buzzed

months

I'm just a random guy who sometimes has some inspiration and some motivation to do some music related things but it's quite rare tbh

isolation

sleepwater

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