this shit fkn hits way too different now. rest easy man.

spring 2023 blahhh

Heylog, Abbot, Polar - Honestly, I Wasn't Listening

ｉｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｓｅｌｌ，　ｋｅｅｐ　ｏｎ　ｂａｒｇａｉｎｉｎｇ

thank you so much for listening.

prod. farber x @jang0x
(additional piano implemented by me)

another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

i cannot leave when the ground has been holding me
weep and repeat, cause the cycle has grown on me
you'll brush it off, "oh he's spittin some poetry"
but really i'm trying my best so you'll notice me
i ain't been up on my luck in a minute
it must be my fault that my health has diminished
but i'll fight my way through this shit to the finish
cause i'm all i got, and it's all i was given
i wish they saw what i see on the daily
but i no longer desire a saving
i've learnt a lot, but i still fuck it over (i always fuck it up)
birds feeding out of my chest while i smolder

i watch them fly away
my intestines in their veins
i'm in an empty space
in a stagnant state

this moment's passing me by
but just whose fault is it this time?
with wings made of sludge
blue is more than just the color it's made out to be
what chilled lips to cave into the temptation of frost
if the truth won't sell, keep on bargaining.
having the upper-hand doesn't determine how many fingers it's broken
but you can assume a lot, right?..
RIGHT?
-
another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

with wings to fly [prod. farber x jang0]

whats the problem?
prod. @imcaves
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
whats the problem
i try not to think ab it in the long run
say it louder to convince myself i’m awful
i see ur face n think i’ll never pass the autumn
ain’t it funny how that works
never knew how much it hurt
put a price atop my head i got a target
thought i need more attention now i’m starving
i knew myself a whole lot less than i regarded
now ur over me w him
i don’t know where to begin

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light

suffer, suture wounds
i crushed my future; tomb
i’d see the sun
if you’d just move a bit
puncture lungs removed
tell me what u do
when night hits
everything is new again

whats the problem
isnt this all that u wanted in the long run?
i could spend my days just waiting for a phone call
but if i did then i wouldnt be someone u want
aint it funny how that works
i’ll just lie down in the dirt
u can bend me how u wanna cuz i like that
i miss how you’d make me hurt i never fight back
i know that it didnt work but yet despite that
i’m a sucker for ur love
i thought it was kinda fun

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light
i'll never

brave bird [caves]

spotify, apple, etc.

produced by caves

it all goes wrong when your with me
you know that, your in two d
you know that, i love you babe, i love you more

it all wraps round my..
she cant calm down
my..
it all ends, ends now
cant help it im a tree in the ground

so selfish what i built for you now
do i exist without my pals
ill bandage ill wear it round
have it we're married in hell

it all wraps round my..
she cant calm down
my..
it all ends, ends now
cant help it im a tree in the ground

IT ALL WRAPS ROUND MY..
SHE CANT CALM DOWN
MY..
IT ALL ENDS, ENDS NOW
CANT HELP IT IM A TREE IN THE GROUND

it all went wrong you know that

married in hell

main loop used is from a killedmyself drumpack

Its a little late for that don't you think?

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Come catch a feeling while we’re watching a lightning 
But nothing excites me, baby I try to hide it 
I think about you, let’s make love on the highway 
Can we get inside babe 
You know time won’t stop flying 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
We keep laughing it off, ya 

Kill time when we're driving 
It's both of us finding 
A reason to separate 
Your past is behind me 
I don't open up 
Don't wanna be judged 
Don't wanna be looked at 
I blame my gut 

I love you and you know that 
Even if you don't love me back 
I pray at night to hope you're well 
And pray again for my own self 
If I had a wish and that would be to see you laugh 
Cause I guarantee that you'll receive a smile back 
Now we both sitting there just laughing it off 
I want you to know that you were all I got 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh

laugh it off (ft. heylog)

Produced by heylog

Lyrics:
checking on my phone i keep waiting for your name
got me pissed off cause i let loose of my brain
i don't think you understand i don't think you can
don't needa call you "baby," think i should call you "pain"

honestly, just get out of here
leave already
cause i'm stuck in here
i'll never be
driving home
anymore
i want you gone
haven't seen you in a minute
you say you're busy
but you're with your friend
i don't understand
thought you hated her
that's what you said

i keep checking on my phone waiting for your name
if i was important you won't forget about me
i don't think you love me yeah
i don't think you can
i'm a lot to handle baby
just let go of me

checking on my phone i keep waiting for your name
got me pissed off cause i let loose of my brain
i don't think you understand i don't think you can
don't needa call you "baby," think i should call you "pain"

typing in my phone don't if i'll call you baby
she respond saying that i'm cute and sweet like honey
got a girl looking like you crush on your favourite anime
she pitching up her voice when she spoke to me

checking on my phone i keep waiting for your name
got me pissed off cause i let loose of my brain
i don't think you understand i don't think you can
don't needa call you "baby," think i should call you "pain"

i'm closing my eyes when i scream into the mic
you got me so mad i propose to start a fight
i'm yelling in my pillow
now the whole thing's drenched from the water in my eyes

heylog - busy

produced by xona
piano by oc

cover by xona and heylog

@heylog
@sleepywater
@prod-oc

-lyrics-
yeah
want me back, want me back?
yeah, yeah

want me ‘back’ back?
i think you got wrong man
yeah
you need a 'hand’ hand?
i threw myself into the past
for you
so what you on with me?
we ain’t close so you can’t bother me
7k to reach so I don’t care if you needed me

~

i just wanted to say
that i hope you're doing okay
her skin is why i'm alive
i hope to feel it someday
getting on top of me
and giving the look, i see
her soul makes me resume life
and build up my legacy
her mind is taking a beating
so far it hasn't been easy
i could just tell from your arm
baby should i be alarmed
should i be scared when i hear about your past
i slowly wear, it's just hard to..
grasp

stop again
ill stop and glare
who am i now i don’t know him there
way i feel when im flowing w her
if i get on w u hold my hair
shut the fuck up ur someone i avoid
it wasnt worth it cos now im destroyed

want me ‘back’ back?
i think you got wrong man
yeah
you need a 'hand’ hand?
i threw myself into the past
for you
so what you on with me?
we ain’t close so you can’t bother me
7k to reach so I don’t care if you needed me

lend

spotify

lend w/ heylog & sleepwater

much love to @sleepywater <33
Produced by me ^-^

Lyrics:

(grasior)
you think your just so perfect
skeletons in your closet
faceless beast yeah you know it
but you lost with your 2 tricks

but you writing my phone
texting my phone yeah you feel so alone
you take me out
feel so loud

never thought the void could fill
this emptiness makes me shrill
the quietness that you built
fills me up with guilt

you watch the world in flames
tryna shift the blame
manipulate the world
to figure out your name

everything that you do leaves me in disbelief
count to three in your dreams damn you feel so unique
you hear the screams of the past yet you smoke n repeat
switch em out yeah you making em leave
baby running my mind but all I need is just me
everyday that you lie makes me feel one with peace
keep it up till you try to wave it all back
all your feeling are back but you feel so detached

(sleepwater)
push me in the ocean let me drown
wont be alive for long you know that now
feels way to open need way out
got me fleeing for safety a royal
i plead for ignorance in hell
im scared but here i bloody am
im facing death im in the sea
i would kill myself for you and me
baby i think that your the bee
baby i swear your in love w me
it was only you and me
baby i swear your in love w me
i wanna kill myself
baby you should kill me
i wanna kill myself
baby you should kill me

(grasior)
everything that you do leaves me in disbelief
count to three in your dreams damn you feel so unique
you hear the screams of the past yet you smoke n repeat
switch em out yeah you making em leave
baby running my mind but all I need is just me
everyday that you lie makes me feel one with peace
keep it up till you try to wave it all back
all your feeling are back but you feel so detached
-----------------------------------------

flower petals ✾

disbelief w/ sleepwater

please don’t step on my heart 
i’ve been over and over this
many times before 
please don’t get out my car 
the door opens and you leave 
and then we fall apart 

call my bluff, we play cards 
but she always has the ace 
hiding up her sleeve 
i can’t ever recall
not one moment that she ever 
simply smiled at me 

and those cold eyes make me panic
what do you want 
i can’t manage 
and those bright red lips 
make me vanish
what do you want with me 

stop the crying and the shouting, im sorry 
but maybe you’re better off
i’ll stop the crying if u tell me u want me
i’ll do anything no matter the cost

cus the rain my love hasn’t stopped coming
ever since you were the one i lost
i can’t be here without you, im dying
one kiss will finish me off 

please don’t step on my heart (stop the crying and the shouting i’m sorry)
i’ve been over and over this
many times before (but maybe you’re better off)
please don’t get out my car (i’ll stop the crying if u tell me u want me) 
the door opens and you leave 
and then we fall apart (i’ll do anything no matter the cost)

call my bluff, we play cards (cus the rain my love hasn’t stopped coming) 
but she always has the ace 
hiding up her sleeve (ever since you were the one i lost) 
i can’t ever recall (i can’t be here without you, im dying)
not one moment that she ever 
simply smiled at me (one kiss will finish me off)

banshee (wisssery)

produced by chalyre <3 

lyrics:
you make me
incomplete
no escaping
your cold reach

now my throat is sore
from saying your name
i'm not going to go
until you repay
the debt that you owe
its always the same 
for love

let go
of your hold

you say you love me
i would just die
i'll never be worthy
of your divine

you're killing me slowly
but i'll be fine

it's not like i'm better
from seeing the light

careworn

prod me
no samples used
take care

up in the trees is where i would hang
'till i tumbled down when he told me to stay
back in the bush; cast on my arm
shall i never heal, i'll be happy a pine.
yet i'm full of shit, atone every word
but this is for you, so i'll try not to hurt
choked up every verse though.
you cannot reverse

what a fine young man, i wonder where his head's at
too far gone, now i needa take a step back
all that i want is to live in my notepad
feeding me lyrics for songs 'till my days' last
genuine crave, and i don't wanna change that
mental array in a haze getting whiplash
honest display, but there isn't a playback
trust in the heart of your cards when it fades black

patch on the leg; how the fuck do i move it
i miss your laugh, and with friends, watching movies
oh, i'll try a bit harder to step out my comfort,
but being alone is just way too damn soothing

i cannot bear this weight,
so i'll just eat it up and stomach it
your words they spoke to me,
i'd always wonder what would come of it

you were nervous, well, i'm anxious
but for you, did you know i would fucking get back on my feet,
though, not complaining
seldom i held any care, wouldn't budge, wouldn't speak
years, haven't walked down the street
i took a walk down the street.
bubbling grief
if only you knew what you meant to me, 
god i would hope you had felt what you meant to me

june arrived, i almost felt alive
but then i heard the news and felt the water rise
capsized the thought of letting go of life
but now it's even harder getting sleep at night
what a gentle soul, grown out the mold
with the sky his home, and for the earth, a stone
beyond the ozone; inside the mind
what an ethereal one, and of a joyous kind.

suck in the rain, spit out the clouds
our synergy now resides in the ground

yeah i know the rain is real important when it's pouring down the evergreens
thought about you often, so i hope that you remembered me
'cause you took your leave
autumn and sleep
we ran our shit up until '23
growing the seeds; sowing their seams
if i make it out of this, hoping you see, yeah.

sycamore

hey guys hope u enjoy this new track.
shoutout to @prodjpjp for the production
& shoutout to @heylog for hopping on it 

LYRICS:
All my friends have turned to strangers
Am I really all alone?
Tell me truth and don't be jaded
Where have you been all night long?
I'm all alone
Struggling to get off my phone
Yeah, I think we did this all wrong
And I cannot get over it
I shouldn't feel this way, not at this young age

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I'll never know
But I wish you the best
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

(I'm leaving home)
Uh, so imma leave all my vices
Leave all the memories
Leave all the trauma
You was just my enemy
You're not a friend of me
I see that now it's clear as day
So, it's time to runaway

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I’ll never know
But I wish you the best 
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

What has my life become?
Can't think how I once was
All these years gone by so fast
How come I still look back?
This blonde boy I used to be
Smiled big and was happy
Now everybody's watching
I hate it to be honest
The past few years have felt this way
And oh I've had so much to say
Thinking I'll get over it
There's a lot here to digest
Another person disrespects
I'm keeping guard oh, yet again
Maybe I should unalive
Piss right off and from my life

bones w/ heylog (jpjp)

I forgot to listen, should I pretend u love me 
There’s something in the air, it’s something I should never breathe 
Clouds are looking morbid at the top I’m at the peak 
Tryna get em out, my words get stuck and I can’t speak
Holding on this mountain girl this gravity’s calling me 
Maybe if it’s fair it would let go but keep hold of me 
Cause I have this obsession and I keep rushing into things 
Maybe it’d better if I wasn’t so annoying 
I’m boring 
This isn’t what I wanted 
Wanted 
It’s too much to hear u calling
Calling
I just want u to be honest
Honest
I’m so replaceable 
I’m not really made for anybody else
But your eyes 
And your eyes only 
I’m so pathetic I can’t believe that I tell you how I really felt
But ur eyes and ur eyes only

wish you would have met me at a different time 
Maybe somewhere far we beneath the plane we realign 
Coincide
Nlm, there’s nobody here that I like
Push me away while I’m burning inside 

Feel like an animal I’m trapped inside a cage for you
I’m far beneath the plane
I wonder if you hate me too
Take my pulse don’t let me breathe until my eyes are blue 
Buried conciously my bones are breaking out in 2 

I’ll keep swinging til he’s dead
Dropped down on the floor
And If I miss I’ll pierce a lung heart kidney and all
If only he would listen 
Dickhead keep ur mouth shut
U told me it was fine
And it was not love
But I don’t really care
I never have done
U think he’ll keep u safe
He’s never backed no one
I could take him by the ear and hold him ransom 
Now he’s not even ur friend he’ll never have none 

Take a lil time out my day
I feel it’s all a disgrace 
My body’s rotting, decaying
I’ll throw it all to waste 
When I see myself in the mirror
I put my hands to my face 
So I can’t see what I’ve done 
Don’t wanna see anymore 
Don’t ask me if I’m fine 
My knife isn’t  even towards
Any skin, it’s passed that line
Least I’m not hitting the floor
Even if I was I’d lie
Let the ground coat  me in mold 
Sorry for wasting ur time
I been meaning to let you go

newmaker IV

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it 

This six shooters got more then 1 bullet 
It’s hitting 0 it’s hit in the green
And all my bets placed 4,9 and 13
This roulettes Russian it’s not very
Clean 
My body’s fearing the worst I can’t 
Breathe
I saw you with another guy and I 
Screamed 
How many more until you stop being a slut 
Close ur legs just to open em up

And that really isn’t even half
You had to block me just to get in his car
It’s annoying that you don’t say it with chest
Window down I bet he’s kissing ur…

What id do oh what I’d do to anyone who ever tries it 
Molotov his bedroom 
Pouring petrol on his carpet
I’m gonna rip him from everyone that he loves
Stainless steel around his neck
I’ll put a knife in there and plunge
Stop being a narcissist baby I need some love
Like just a little more, then what I’ve already got
Anything is better than what I have
Please don’t neglect me I’ve had all that 

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it

married in hell

sleepwater

Recent comments

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chasecomeback

ｃｒｙｃ

shizukesa.

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