choices not excuses

guitar by @prodjpjp
prod me
lyrics

im eating her bodyweight no, i know that you hate my face. bro
neck it down w a slice of cake yo, lets hold back from tainting grace, hoe
stomach thin w a feint of shake woah, she grows back but cant stay, loyal

im curious by the way that he touch you
im destroying us by the weight of my bad mood
im enjoying us, everyday is so bad dude
depression getting worse, i cant even leave my home dude
do i deserve this bad, i swear that i want to hold you
ur all i never had, i swear to god that i told you
does he want you back, as much as i do
i guess i like, i guess i like you

im eating her bodyweight, laying down as i deflate
where are you now, as i replay
deep in the ground is my only space
where are you now, i got something to say
i live in hell its the only way
i couldent tell that i need your face
locked in a cell and its called my place
how can you tell that i need a razor;
the trees when i stepback feels like safest place
if i see your guy ima stomp on his face
are you alright im not scared to embrace
whats that from your eye, get those slits of your face

cake

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

w @xona

produced by sleepwater speedlmt leftquiet and xona

lyrics

i needed some revenge
but i dont wanna vent
can you hear me now
its hurting my head
stop shutting me down
you were half of me wow
but now your not here
i need a way out
u were liquid to me
maybe mixed w some sea
but now she is flying
i wanna retreat
guard my heart
while u stand
from the mill
its feeling far
when u tell me its real
how could i move on when
i dont even want to
ill let this go on
cos i dont know how to
miss you
another song where
i vent bout my issues
waitings long come rip
out my tissues
im so selfish
everyones got traumas
im not speaking can u let me follow her
do i need therapy or pills in my fucking head
my life expectancy
cheers for all this fucking stress

im escaping every night my fucking hed
pls dont aim in
counting on my fucking hed
collecting all my fucking debt
pounding hard right out my chest
guess im sleeping thats a flex
lets skip eating and have sex
what are you eating guess thats bread
what are you doing no no
who are you with now
its how it spread
would u even like me
cant u tell that im trying
oh pls just like me
i swear that im crying

xona
i thought i need to go and let loose of me
but I’m stuck inside where the sun don’t seep
so i just watch along as the days runs deep
and i got my tea in hand so I’m calm for the least
and i don’t know, who i could be
i feel alone, when there’s others around me
i can’t cope, you know it better than me
to let it go but I’m the worst you could be
to go back home
where I could find a home cause I feel alone
falling, dying right here for you

oh i dont wanna talk
im ruined

ruined w/xona

Produced by BĀ$$MØB, Keys Cobain, Teflon Sega

I Think Of You

lyrics - 
damage to my brain got me turning 
wouldn’t speak a word unless u wanted
is it me or am i going down a spiral
everyday i’m waking up with more problems
i feel alright for the moment 
don’t get too used to who i am in person 
cos the way i lose control is too concerning 
and you wouldn’t like me anyway im certain 

u wanna take it all the way?
shame i never felt the same oh no
tried to tell you what i meant
but you only focused on yourself

think i found somewhere to hide 
no light no dark just right 
make a promise that you’ll never leave my side
make a promise that you’ll never let me die

don’t wanna talk
don’t wanna stay here anyway
god it’s all too much to keep up day to day 
is it right to think that i’d be better off
jumping to my senses knowing all along
nothing mattered there was nothing at the golden arch
infatuated with the thought of never giving up
what’s the point when everybody does the fuckin same? 
what’s the point of even feeling fuckin anything?

u wanna take it all the way?
shame i never felt the same oh no 
tried to tell you what i meant
but you only focused on yourself

think i found somewhere to hide 
no light no dark just right 
make a promise that you’ll never leave my side
make a promise that you’ll never let me die

damage

lyrics - 
oh i always find my hand on the trigger when i'm wanting u
i got a funny feeling that i'll see u soon
devil in disguise oh u know i can see right through
and i hope that u want to

take me for a ride
rip apart every inch of me
oh love, we live a life of pure make believe
i wish you'd come and take control
you can take everything u need from me
from me, yeah

devil on ur way down
love
love on your way down
love
x2

never wanna lie for mistakes
never wanna die where i lay
i never wanna show i'm afraid
i just never learned to cry through the pain, oh
god it's been a rough day
and i hope u hold back
i ain't got enough strength
you wanna take us off track
but it's hard when u fall apart
i just don't know where to start
i ain't giving up 
i'm the devil babe

devil babe
come to terms with the devil babe
devil babe
devil on ur way down
come to terms with the devil love
love on ur way down
love

devil

produced by sleepwater melonmusik & leftquiet

lyrics:
i dont wanna listen to this
i would rather you didnt exist
ill pray after you
ill die before you
its my time to live
but ill end up WASTING IT
its my life you ditched
ill disappear into THIN AIR 
oh where she gone have you seen her 
is she on the way home, swear ive been there 
id kill myself just to HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME

im scared no where to go
seven times ive checked my phone
if you cared i wouldent be alone
addicted to the cracks on my phone

(gasp)

IF I LIE TO U ITS CAUSE I HATE MYSELF
ILL SAY GOODBYE SOON GUESS IM HEADING OUT
I WOULD KILL MYSELF JUST TO HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME
WAS I RIGHT FOR YOU CAUSE I COULDENT TELL
MY ROOM A ZOO TYCOON IT NEEDS SOME CLEANING OUT
I WOULD FIX MYSELF FOR YOU TO BE MINE

stay between mortar
it all
flashes in my eyes
im now ready this time

#colne #sleepwater

colne

produced by sleepwater 

lyrics:
i hate everyone except you
lovers leave is overdue
i let myself   accept you
everything was made for two
i need a girl with hair
down to her shoulders yeah
hurry dont hurl round here
well i  know its cold my dear
we'll never lose hope round here
dont ever give up

 oh yeah, hello, oh yeah, help

pushing my limits no one going to stop it
killing my ex promise you never saw it
bashing our heads against the floor and the faucet
bath tub full of blood limbs in the closet
savour her head tie it up in a forest
its friday tonight but not the thirteenth
take off my mask so you its real
BURY HER BODY AND LET EVERYONE SEE
butcher that witch and go in for the kill
fill up the cask until her blood spill
leave her in a ditch then im going to chill
move on to next she got eliminate

violent

produced by xona

@heylog

-lyrics-
deep within my own skin
i stay low until my breath
runs out and i hold my neck
cause deep down i need to rest
the only thing i need is you
a little late, i ain’t got to lose
anything to get us through
but I’ll stay like back then too

well, it’s awful to think
you’re on my mind and can’t let it deplete
sit in my room then write the lyrics to sing
but I’m discarding this energy to bring back the old me
its a tragic that i let it go
i couldn’t tell if you need me close 
well it’s too late for that now
so i can’t keep you around 
don’t need to make another sound

baby i know you love it when you see me overthink
got me pushing buttons tryna get this thing to play
never thought a girl would challenge me to use my brain
think outside the box using my logic against her game

i know you love it when you see me overthink
baby please
tell me what it means
these other guys try to steal you from me
they're enemies
break em to their knees
cut the rope
let the river flow
one at a time
kill em, let em know
baby go
get inside the boat
it's business for me to kill all them very slow

hazel

spotify

hazel w/ heylog

produced by heylog

lyrics:
no one
no faith
spacing
as i lie awake
when i see you then
i promise i won't leave again
woke up in terror, i'm feeling confused
cover my mouth as i just heard the news
how can it be?
how can it be true?
why god, do you take the things i love most
why's it the people who feel like a home
holding back tears
until i let go
facing
toward green
outside, you're all i see
i miss your praise
no matter what, you'd always stay
with me
i need to ease on the brakes
i feel my heart in my chest
i can't control cause it aches
and no one's feeling their best
and i'm not taking it light
you felt like my only friend
who'd be with me through the night
and be with me till the end
and i have so much to say
but at the same time i don't
all of it hurts in a way
that i can't even control
it comes and goes in a wave
and everytime it's unknown
and none of this is okay
i'd rather break every-
following footprints and trails
sunlight shines right through the trees
see beauty in each detail
please say that you're just hiding
no one
no faith
spacing
as i light awake
when i see u then
i promise i won't leave again
facing
toward green
outside, ur all i see
i miss you a lot
one of a kind
and filled with love

footprints & trails

yeah
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole

im at the worst of it now
dont tell me you where around
dont tell em you gave me anything
im sat with the worst of it
im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it
see the wings on your spine
both serenading my eyes
now ur not here in this life
ive got a reason to die 

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour


load of bs shouting distroted


im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it

songs shit

angel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Bd5PWLwBA

[prod. jpjp & deadfish]

i'm geist:
a broken design
step aside and rewind
but time doesn't seem to heal
the body's inside
and the blood is on your hands
so don't tell me that this isn't real

it's not the same, no
tell me where did my mind go?
cause i seem to have lost control
why won't the pain go?
i swear i've waited the time love
but i can't seem to take anymore

so say can i save myself now?
(envy) i think it's far too late you'll drown
but i need them to hear me out
(envy) don't make a sound just shut your mouth

notenvy:
my frame is fractured like kaleidoscope
the only sense of matters left my brain
i swear i'm losing hope
i’m doing fine, oh you don't want to know
the shit that i've been going through
i'm gripping on, i've lost control
another day intoxicated
do you ever think of me
my structure’s slowly breaking
another breath is wasted
screaming from my chest
i fucking wish someone would save me

kais:
i hate it when you talk to me, but talk to me some more
hands to my ears and my face to the floor
love it when they lie to me, so lie to me some more
you fucked me up and put me through the ground
scream for help, but it never makes a sound
you took it wrong, I didnt mean it that way
silent with the pressure, but I let it stay
imma let it till it breaks me
down, I know you want me here but I never come around
im sorry and I owe you that. that’s what this shits about
I walk slow with my teeth glued to my mouth
I don’t talk cus the rooms always too loud
loud
loud

deadfish:
and i'm waking up
heart's fucking numb
it's only 7am
but I can't seem to lay down

anxious bout the day
what's gonna happen today
I just can't get a break
everything's still the same

mind is racing if today you're gon reply to me
nothing points to that but I'll wait just in case

if u had a change of mind
blood is pouring out my eyes
phone is charged all the time
cause I'm waiting for

for you to reply
please stop wasting my time
it just wasn't enough
and I can't make up my mind

you said that nothing has changed
but I don't feel the same
but I am keen to believe cause I'm
just hopeless

funeral:
i get so deep in this shit and i'll never get out
now i'm stuck and i'm waiting
i never think i just act and i ask if i'll make it
or maybe i'm wasting
my time right here, right now
blood leak, blood flow, lights low, lights out

it's way too obvious to me
the way the bodies dust, i bleed
i need one second alone now
one shot, now i'm dead, body goes down

sewerperson:
rust gives way to the chains that hold me
for yesterday could not control me
toxins permeate
the armoured skin that covers me
u poor man ur final day
is ended here from under me
woah bring out the big guns
im in the mood to erase something
huh just try to say something
u getting face fucked
blunt getting laced up
put u in swamp water face up
no matter the chaos faced
i wouldn’t give up
for time will tell
of better days
from here I smell
the autumn rainfall
it helps me stay strong

SPOTIFY

time will tell w/ i'm geist, notenvy, kais, deadfish, funeral, sewerperson

All Platforms - https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/vil13/existentialist-feat-heylog-2
Featuring @heylog
Produced + Mastered by @noraevelyne
Written, recorded, and mixed by @vilsynth @heylog

(Lyrics)
You hit my car today, I'm locked in pain, it's part of your game now
I spent my childish days incarcerated to watch what the fame bout
If there's a night light in my room, want you to turn it on
She's indecisive of my doom, I see her loaded gun
She already won
I just have to pick a side, and let her know which way to cross

I know what you know, oh-oh
I know what you know, I know what you know
I know what you know, oh-oh

I feel the blood pouring out my side
I need your touch, hold me till I die
Drain the IV from my eye
They're tryna poke more needles in my skin, I don't wanna cry

Coat my skin entirely
Fold my ends, and tie me
Hold my hand and cry to sleep
It only ends when Im deceased
It's not the other way
I could get you out my life, and see some better days
But I don't want that on my record (x2)

(@heylog)
I don't think you know how much you really meant
I take in account and confess my sins
Put a bullet on my name and on a list
Cause I know, know you can't get a grip
You were made to have a role but you don't play your part
You'll start to realize it don't work when dealing different cards
And it brought me to the fact we live in different hearts
I'm tryna see the best in you but this is hard
If there's a light inside my room please turn it on
And if I see you on tv i'll turn it off
How can I speak without having to cough
And I had to get it off my chest because

(@vilsynth and @heylog)
You hit my car today, I'm locked in pain, it's part of your game now
I spent my childish days incarcerated to watch what the fame bout
If there's a night light in my room, want you to turn it on
She's indecisive of my doom, I see her loaded gun
She already won
I just have to pick a side, and let her know which way to cross

Spotify + Apple Music

Existentialist (ft. heylog) [nora evelyne]

Pull me down 
Hold me underwater 
Leave me breathless
Let me drown
Leave my body in the ocean near some wreckage
To be found
When they pull me out you’ll say you never meant it 
I’m unidentifiable 
My body’s been fermented 

It’s all about you 
Love it’s all about you
I hold my head in my hands 
Babe it’s what I’m bound to
Thinking of you
I can’t stop I’ve tried to
I’d let you do most anything, you felt you had to
Treat me however you wanted
Lay down my body, on mountains of rubbish
I broke my arm for you to hold it
Gave you a gun, point it right at your target

Oh it wasn’t worth it all
Watch it fade to black 
I could give my life to you, and still you’d want it back
When there’s nothing left to offer I could split in half
Give you the other part of me, the one I’ve never had

You can devour me, leave me with holes
Eat all my flaws away, rip from bones
Take what you want, just to leave me alone
If it’ll make you love me 

Pull me down 
Hold me underwater 
Leave me breathless
Let me drown
Leave my body in the ocean near some wreckage
To be found
When they pull me out you’ll say you never meant it 
I’m unidentifiable 
My body’s been fermented 

God, I’m restless 
You could take it easy now 
You’ve taken people that I love and you’ve left me with nowt 
So you can take the credit when I go to your house
This is not a joke
Please do not test me now

It must be funny walking round and everybody hates me
And I can’t shake that feeling, it’s how you made me
Is that amusing?
Is that your humour?
I find you stupid
I find you’re useless 
And when I see you
Oh if I ever do
And you compare me
To those infront of you
I’ll make it easy
Oh I’ll decide for you
When you can tell me 
What I was supposed to do

ruined w/xona

sleepwater

Recent comments

MusiqMadeMeDoItRight

Rowann

Renardrapide

Chat

Related tracks