@rivilin

Lyrics

I say I'm happy but I'm not fake a smile it takes a lot
No energy feeling lost, what's the point now your gone
Plagued by nightmares where I'm shot, through the head and i wake up
Didn't think that was a dream, no I'm losing losing weak

Yeah i hear these ghost yeah outside my hallway
My windows covered in ash at the moment
I don't think ill ever escape from this
The walls start to breathe and the eyes just open up

Moving back and fourth like I'm in a body
Of some disfigured by product of hate
I guess ill make my home right here
I'm more comfortable being trapped inside then exposed
 
To the daylight of the morning
Where I hear pretty whispers just calling my name
And I wake up in a day dream
Thinking that you just went out to get coffee or you went to work

But yeah i know that it wasn't real
That's why i stay awake in the night time
So i know i don't get disappointed by the morning
When i wake and your not there

Cus you know this life gets a bit difficult at times
Yeah I don't think I'm coping i think that I'm lost
Yeah teetering on the edge of suicide
Like yeah do i do it or do i wait to die

Cus it feels like you picked out the gems from my bones
I was so beautiful now I'm empty and all alone
Cus you love to put your two hands in my insides
And you push me on the stage where I'm blinded by the light

Yeah I'm tripping on my own tongue try to find the words
Just to tell my family that im not ok, i hurt
Tell me when was the last time that anyone cared
Probably when you read my eulogy when im fucking dead

Everyone has their opinions on why i takes these fucking drugs
Yeah just to feel numb so i cant give a fuck
Im sick of overthinking about everything in my life
And you know youre fucked up too

Its crazy they don't get it
Just a-fucking-live cuz I got people that be caring
Standing on the edge and staring
At the faces warped from cries if took this step to end it

Walls be closing so I'm phoning in cuz I feel so lone
On the edge of it, cuz I'm on a binge and I know it shows
Sold my soul for shit boy this ain't a skit, man I feel so cold
Lost it in a f it, I was in a binge, can't take back those

So I live with it, and I loop a bit, and I loop a bit
Like I broken record I'm forgotten bitch
I know I got a problem, made a fucking list
Knowing I'm adding daily cuz I'm throwing fits

My mental state be going down a pit
I got a itch, which I gotta fix
Cuz I'm bleeding out from scratching all of it

These walls are closing in
Losing all my breath
Thinking did I live and life without a end

Gasping for a breath
Fighting for my friends
Fuck I gotta make it, I ain't ready yet

Gotta make amends
Cannot fly again
Off the handle, man I'm fucking losing it

Grounded by a bend
Blacking out again
Sober up until it happens all again

Fucked up I need to lay low
Beta blockers with the Faygo
Anxiety got me fucked up with these fake thoughts screaming lameo

So I close my eyes till it fade away
Open up and its another day
Another day issa another waste
Man I fucking hate, that I think this way

Losing It

⸸ spotify ⸸

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Losing It

@rivilin

Lyrics

Yeah, I swear that someone's fucking died in this room
I think it's haunted, I swear it’s haunted yeah
Feeling like there’s eyes just in the corner
They're watching me yeah, it's paranoia always

Feeling like im not worth much to you
It's what you said yeah, but they ignore ya and say that
The stars in the sky yeah they're not for you yeah
Cus they don't suit ya, cus your not perfect, not worthy

But I say fuck them they're all just cunts yeah
I'll build a staircase up and grab the things they denied you from the start
So fuck all of this negativity yeah, 
I don't want to be sad for the fucking rest of my life and you fucking know that

I'll show you that you’re worth just everything yeah
You know that id kill a fucking another just to see that you get home in the end
Cus I don't give a fuck about another
I just want you, yeah, to start the spark of the ember inside

Yeah cus I feel like your just the fucking one yeah 
The fucking one yeah, who puts a smile on my face
Im sick of fucking feeling like im scared yeah
Like im scared yeah but im not gonna waste this fucking  chance

Cus I never fucking thought id ever be happy yeah
I’d be happy yeah, so what the fuck have you just done to me
Cus you just make me want to be alive yeah,
Just believe yeah, I don't feel like I want to die early

What the fuck I'm in a dream
Everything can't be how it seems

This is too good to be true
Man I must've got some screws loose
Lost in my brain
No way this feeling fake

I been fucking happy lately
Just creating in my lane, please
No fucking lames, I just want this feeling safe

So baby don't you play me
Cuz it might just fucking break me
Might just lose my fucking life and take yours on the way b

Sorry, kind of crazy
My trauma fucking made me
A little bit fucked up and now my triggers got me shaking

But do not fucking worry cuz my empathy trump hate, I relate
To the fucking pain, I know we'll find a way
So just hang on to that feeling that I know you stashed away
Its okay baby,  manic, but I understand the pain

Yeah cus I feel like your just the fucking one yeah 
The fucking one yeah, who puts a smile on my face
Im sick of fucking feeling like im scared yeah
Like im scared yeah but im not gonna waste this fucking  chance

Cus I never fucking thought id ever be happy yeah
I’d be happy yeah, so what the fuck have you just done to me
Cus you just make me want to be alive yeah,
Just believe yeah, I don't feel like I want to die early

Mental Scars

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Mental Scars

Like Nothing prod hxrxkiller

prod @crcl

No way
Working 40 off a day shifts
No shame
Pushing 80 in my own shit

No fame
Boy it ain’t the motivation
Tell me that I ain’t shit
Induce a revelation

Ima aim
Ferda flame
Ima chase it

Ain’t no shame
For the blame
That it came with

Fuck a party
Ima lurk
Ima paint shit

On a track
Had to dash
If it ain’t this

40 in my hand
With the gang
We deface it

Dirty in the pound
Wearing black
Cuz the paint thick

Dirty in the mound
Not a the frown
When we face it

Dirty in the ground
With a crown
I ain’t basic

Down with a ship
Down with a bitch
Drowning

I found innocence
Round bit sin
Naughty

Divine imminent
Thrive in min
Stories

Divine in the sin
Die with a grin
Sorry

If it ain’t this
Hope you tryna live a bit
Living and existing ain’t the same, don’t you get it twist

Giving and forgiving keep you sane
Outa the abyss

Kindness to each other
Hit the bank, issa dividend

Yuh

Get your funds up
Watchu want son
Show some kindness to your devil
And the angels won’t run

Watchu find until you settle
Be the real tough love
Till the flower showing petals
And full moon sun

Revelations

MUSIC VIDEO

$LOTHBOI - Revelations [Music Video ↓]

https://youtu.be/szgwk3ksASE?si=VRSjS1NyfbJ9B-ed
https://soundcloud.com/nicolassales

lyrics

Changed this world
With a laptop
Evolving till the life stop
Creating till the sun don’t shine

Soul bound
Save you from a come down
Pull you by the rope now
Ascend up to the warm bright lights

Changed this world
With a laptop
Evolving till the life stop
Creating till the sun don’t shine

Soul bound
Save you from a come down
Pull you by the rope now
Ascend up to the warm bright lights

Kindness
In me
Thriving
Dizzy
Gasoline
In my lungs hitting

Evolving
With me
Homies
Lifting
Ascending high
We’re flying really

I don’t care
Where I fit right
But I can’t care
To decide
I feel I ain’t designed
To live a life that defined

I don't care
Let them glare
I live my life like a dare

Empty stares
Everywhere
They sold control of their life

Who am I
Who am I
Without someone by my side
Who am I
Who am I
Am I not what I decide
What happened
To that person
That I used to be
Did he die
Who am I becoming
Who am I asking this to

Oohhh
Is it a disguise
Is it all a lie

Am I really here
There’s no way to know
Thrown in this world
With nowhere to go
This bird has flown
You’re all alone
Only yourself to call a home

I clear my head
I clear my thoughts
Remove myself from it all
Somehow i am and I am not
Somehow I am and I am not

I see
I taste
I breathe
I hear
I walk
I run
I laugh, I
I search
I find
I wonder why
I wonder why
I wonder why

I Wonder Why

⸸ MUSIC VIDEO ⸸

$LOTHBOI x Nicolas Sales - I Wonder Why [Music Video ↓]

music video https://youtu.be/WGkOhZrNrHI?si=kPzlJBcruqqEYWg9

lyrics

Just let the feeling in
Yuh
Its okay to live
To fester in the shit
To pester innocence
Why

Domesticate ya sin
It’s a state of mind
Don’t estimate your wins
Just be the one who is
Yuh  

Things are colder than they ever been
But I’m burning hot so Ima run it down
I sleep at night so I dream awake
Its an endless race and I'm running hard

Fuck it mean when you got a dream
And it become the reason you evading sleep
I cannot leave, I cannot eat
I create away the day until at peace
Yuh

Ima be chasing dreams till the day I die you can watch and see
Struggle I pay no mind to the failure that’s in front of me
Know that I can’t give up, that’s the only way that I fail me
Back to back I be skipping sleep
Laugh to laugh I be living free

Just let the feeling in
Yuh
Its okay to live
To fester in the shit
To pester innocence
Why

Domesticate ya sin
It’s a state of mind
Don’t estimate your wins
Just be the one who is
Yuh

I feel relief
When I see a seed
Get the water
Lets sprout the leaves
Rather fail that to never see
What could’ve would’ve should’ve maybe been

what could've would've should've maybe been

music video

what could've would've should've maybe been [Music Video ↓]

Hard to Breathe

prod. rick hardy

It's not hard
To fall down
And the scared
Want the crown

Never bother your mistake
You will be forever pained

So be quiet

So be quiet
Don't be
An excuse of life like me
I'm afraid
I'll see
Im weak
Cause these pills have rescued me

It's not hard
To fall down
And the scared
Want the crown

Never bother your mistake
You will be forever pained

So be quiet

No I wont, I wont keep my voice down
even when, blood is filling my mouth
torn throat, paint me as a turncoat
kicked down, im running out of all hope

hang me up above, watch my limbs dangle
as I fall, straight into your arms
so I wait, accept it, hold me down cant collect it
my thoughts my memories all the clouded judgment burst from the seams

I am nothing, more then me, a hollow husk that's caught in-between
of the down fall of my own existence, I hate everything that I've seemed to become

It's not hard
To fall down
And the scared
Want the crown

Never bother your mistake
You will be forever pained

So be quiet

quiet feat. Rivilin

(second album, 'Alien and connected' - out soon)
Written/Performed by SEPHA.
Produced by SEPHA. & CH!O
cover art by nikita ono
mix/master w/ CH!O 
_________
Videos - www.youtube.com/channel/UCMiKze_9jKL9DpS0dXmxK3Q
Spotify - open.spotify.com/artist/094ug46k28Q0tdaGPm3WNA
AppleMusic/iTunes - itunes.apple.com/gb/artist/sepha/1243252989
_________
Social -
IG - www.instagram.com/sepha.a/
Twitter - twitter.com/_SEPHA 
_________
Lyrics - 

a love thats built on lust
a love thats built on trust
and passion
its all the same
its all hard

when life keeps teaching you
how to be alone
they say don't know yourself
know what you want 
its all what you want

i'm all alone
when im together with all my friends
we're still alone 
we're all alone
when we're together with all our friends
we're alien 
and im alien
when im connected to all the world 
im alien
and im all alone
when im together with all my friends 
im still alone 

they always place things in steps
and they always place things in parts
they always place ends and starts
they always have the last laugh

"so please get a job - one thats built on trust,
a work that tests your guts.."
...its all the same
its all endless paths

i'm all alone
when im together with all my friends
i'm still alone &
we're all alone
when we're together with all our friends
we're still alone
and im alien
and im connected to all the world 
im alien
and we're alien
and we're connected to all the world
we're alien

i'm all alone
though im together with all my friends im still alone
x 4
i'm still alone
x 8

STREAM // DOWNLOAD

Alien & Connected

I can feel your pulse thumping in the walls
I can hear the silent echo from across the hall
It's in the air and I can feel my body rise and fall
Chills down my spine, poltergeist in my visual

Ghost in the sheets, get no sleep when i think of you
I'm not at peace, let me be or let me be with you
I need some closure, ain't had rest in a week or two
I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room

I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room
I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room
Sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room

Your eyes imprinted, metaphysics stuck inside my head
Impulse, admission, ammunition aimed right at my chest
Your disposition fought the prison you were taught was blessed
You sold your wings to please the beast, your head laid on my bed

You said it's what you wanted
But now it's like I'm haunted 

And now I feel you every time I turn my head
I toss and turn all night, I'm broke inside this empty bed
My dreams of blue, they fade in hue, turn into ruby red
Your apparition in my vision haunts me till I'm dead

Ghost in the sheets, get no sleep when I think of you
I'm not at peace, let me be or let me be with you
I need some closure, can you call me for at least a few
I'm sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room

Sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
I'm sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
Sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
With your spirit living in my room

mixed & mastered by @nicolassales

.you still haunt me.

AMV on Idleglance

sleepwalking (prod. thislandis)

• Produced by APT. 102 - @apt-102
• Mixed by me
• Mastered by Sebastian Metzner
• Cover art design by me, photo by William Tran

• lyrics:

with the microphone as my medicine, 
all this sad shit as my epithet 
in a big room with the elephant, 
is my flow still fuckin’ relevant?

..

i’ll still do it for the hell of it, 
yeah, 
newsflash I’m still gettin it,
it’s a tuesday, I’m still gettin lit,
grip that paper like a paperclip...

i might come by for a while before i dip, yeah
but If it ain’t bout a check i’ll call it quits, yeah
got too much on my mind, i’m hittin' licks,
got too much goin on to give a fuck about a bitch, yeah...

real quick, that’s a lesson, 
you take that L,
it’s a blessing, 
you won’t learn shit with that flexing,
you won’t earn shit till you messin’ up, 
bounce back, 
smoke that ounce up, 
every time you pick that pen up, 
get dark thoughts
then i get buck,
don’t give a fuck

(bounce back, 
smoke that ounce up, 
every time you pick that pen up, 
get dark thoughts,
then i...)

i can’t buy more time,
i bite my tongue and wait...
i can’t make make you mine 
until you think you hate me...

imma shine but not before you break me...
that’s what I said back then, 
won’t you call me back?

i might come by for a while before i dip, yeah
but If it ain’t bout a check i’ll call it quits, yeah
girl i got you on my mind, so i get lit, yeah
you’ll be the last thing i see before i slip...

x

epithet (prod. APT. 102)

https://www.slothboi.art
creation for creations sake