for a little backstory behind this song, last night, i attended a special needs meetup for the first time. i needed the bathroom when i was there and i noticed that there was a samaritans sign in there with the number... so i took a picture of it and put the number in my notes app as i have been contemplating my life recently. i was thinking about calling them when i got home but instead i decided to make this song about it. sorry for the bad vocals, my voice is still damaged from my suicide attempt on august 25th and i was also crying whilst recording.
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not the birthday song btw, this is js a rough song i recorded so i don't kms lol.
i'm not doing good at all rn. i'll try re-record this at some point! 
idk when, so js have this version for now!
and yes, this one is about TJ... again.
anyways, say happy birthday to me tomorrow bc yall get a song then :P
(prod. neverl0se)
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lyrics:
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but it’s so dark outside and i don’t know why
depression’s arms creep up to me 
and grip my body tight
the walls are cavin’ in 
and my head’s lost my peace of mind
honestly it’s best that i keel over and die
116 123, maybe this life’s been chosen wrong for me
116 123, my calls never get answered so it’s time to leave
116 123, maybe this life’s been chosen wrong for me
116 123, my calls never get answered so it’s time to leave

but it’s so dark outside and i don’t know why
depression’s arms creep up to me 
and grip my body tight
the walls are cavin’ in 
and my head’s lost my peace of mind
honestly it’s best that i keel over and die

you said we’d be forever
now i’m passed out on the floor
i overdosed on sertraline
my guts can’t take no more
“i’ll love you until i die”
i know that that was just a lie
now my pics are on the internet
and you still run zig-zags in my head

but it’s so dark outside and i don’t know why
depression’s arms creep up to me 
and grip my body tight
the walls are cavin’ in 
and my head’s lost my peace of mind
honestly it’s best that i keel over and die
116 123, maybe this life’s been chosen wrong for me
116 123, my calls never get answered so it’s time to leave

116 123 (demo)

15 (starting in 2025 imma release a song every year on my birthday, october 4th)
underground artist
feel free to archive <3
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(stop self-promoting in my dms without talking to me first pls!! doing it more than once will get u blocked! as long as we've had a conversation first, it's fine.)
other accounts:
@lolislaughter @bonerhille, @barbiecorpse, @silentsouls777

I archive shit I like if I can’t find it I’ll post it to add to playlist. The only song made by me is the really shitty one

ihy till the death of me☽

“YVNGJ4Y” all plats











https://www.instagram.com/yvngjxy




business inquiries: ihateyoujay07@gmail.com

116 123 (demo)

$n8kebytez :3