Basketcase - Softheart

And Another Too

i dont wanna hesitate
wanna go with what i feel
and i look at both my hands
just to make sure im still here
and i check my pulse heartbeat
just to make sure i can hear it 
and i find the closest mirror
just to make sure im still real 
so i force myself outside
and i crawl out from my cave 
and i hear whoosh of tires
and i feel wind on my face
and i zone out for a sec
cause i was thinkin of you
i was in this nice daydream
it was only just us two
and everything was so good 
and we lived a simple life
in a little house in the woods
with the birds and butterflies

cautious and delicate 
only if its right
only if its right
let me know if

if you wanna hang sometime
on the roof of your old house
we can sit and watch the sky
n find pictures in the clouds 
when im bored i think about
how wed sit and talk for hours
but it doesnt feel that long
wasnt even keeping count 
and we held our bodies close
and you said that i was warm
and i think about it sometimes
and how i want it more
and everything is so good
and everything feels just right
like ill wake up from this dream
and its only just one night

cautious and delicate

pillow pit

Made a puppet
That paper mache's now cracking
In the ocean
These waves keep pulling me deeper
It's a teacher
It's a book in how both sides open
Waves crashing
I swam down and just said fuck it 
Years are passing
Like a flashes when I get past 'em
In the fountain
I'm sinking but i'm not drowning 
In the mountains
35 miles from where the border is
In the ocean
saw blackness and i swam towards it
In the whirlpool, I move through the endless darkness
In the hourglass, I watch as it turns to nothing
In the pitch black, big waves pull me in by force now
In the vortеx, I fall back out to the surface

03 and the view from the bottom of the ocean

Silently all night
Write notes app paragraphs
To get the words right I gotta make a draft
And I get afraid of accidentally pressing send
I would rather do it here and copy paste it in
I don't care at all if they hate
I don't care, it all feels the same
I act like I'm strong when I'm not
I keep on pretending I'm okay
And I'm miles away
Running from the thought
I just don't have much that I can say
And I don't wanna try anymore
It's just such a long ways away

Tie me like an anchor to the floor
Or you can drag me all around like a bad dog owner
I don't wanna live like this no more
I'm just standing too high at the store
Yeah
I stay still and as I walk the ground moves under mе
This package hit my lungs like UPS trucks as I cross the street
And baby I'm your doll
I swеar that I'm just your dummy
Swear the way you love me, hurts so much it's funny
Tapped and always dumb and I'm so beautifully ugly
Throw me on my back, make me feel my body numbing
495 ways to tell me that I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
How could I do something else with myself
If it's all decided and its not in my hands?
I don't know, I just wish I'd calm down
And be someone else that doesn't like just always fucking hiding
Got nowhere to go
I'm just camping out by myself
Some place I can find that
Lets me feel like I'm there 

Im a wasteaway
Watch me waste away next to you
Just a waist away

I don't care at all if they hate
I don't care, it all feels the same
I act like I'm strong when I'm not
I keep on pretending I'm okay
And I'm miles away
Running from the thought
I just don't have much that I can say
And I don't wanna try anymore
It's just such a long ways away

we made a heart farm o* + notes app drafts  .o*

guitar and drums done by noah walker @mr_innervue

Stranger.demo (2021 version)

shoot me in tha mf face haha (prod.w4ddles)

My Childhood Dog

“produced” by me

and i know that i’ll get better, but i won’t hold my breath,
every day that i’m inside another day in my head,
i’ll just sit inside, these tears i cry, they spill on your dress,
think i need to go and sit outside so i’ll call my friends

and lately i’ve been worried that the only thing i love is slippin away from me,
don’t fall for me,
i try; i can’t fall asleep,
and i stress way too much these days i thought i was getting better
but in my heart i’ll be okay because i’ve firmed much stronger weather 
and i don’t feel any release when i write a song, i won’t lie
only time i feel okay, 
is when i’m holding on to a knife
and i wont ever put you down by running my mouth,
i’ll make sure that he regrets every sick word that he spouts 

and i know that i’ll get better, but i won’t hold my breath,
every day that i’m inside another day in my head,
i’ll just sit inside, these tears i cry, they spill on your dress,
think i need to go and sit outside so i’ll call my friends

release

Tidalwave (live From Home)

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just happy to be here