'87 Benz
I just sit back, I hit the gas
Ride through the wasteland broken down buildings and piles of trash
I moved as far away as I could to get away from the past
I'm just a scavenger looking for copper and metal to scrap
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack
Kill my throat from all this nicotine and vapor I inhale
I never used to but this stress got me not doing well
Work so much but this self motivation it can be hell
I roll my mary and I just put myself up in a spell
My weak brittle bones, I need phosphorus
I just need some love but I can't foster it
And i do what I love but I just lost the bliss
They only show the love when it’s posthumous
Tell me it means
Tell me it means
Tell me your train of thought when you shut yourself off from me
Save it please don't talk to me
Please don't talk to me
I don't know what it was but something's been off with me
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack

phosphorus (with brody)

Weather Patterns (prod. notmorgn)

Why Do I Feel It

next episode...

mindless little conversations
i can see you hiding what youre thinking about 
im sick of you staring at me
like youre tryna figure something out 
i fucking hate grocery shopping
sometimes i cant tell if they wanna kill or fuck me
i left my keys at your apartment
and i think i forgot to pay for the parking
i feel so much its impossible
cant describe without sounding obnoxious 

but the world looks different from outside of the love
outside its rough
all scars and flaws
my heart shaped glasses they distract enough 
i saw the glow the light shines in dark 

they said someones gonna rip ur heart out if ur not careful
either if its someone else or it just gets dull
never cared that much about all of that pessimism
rather get the flood now then see how long the dam holds
lets go make ourselves whole
see how long we can hold
lets make something special 
keep it just for us two
i hate people so much
but i fuckin love u
because i just do

porcelain mask

watch the leaves fall on my legs 
as i wait and let the time pass
seasons go my life's still a mess
why did i put my life in both ur hands?

fading away disappearing fast
all of ur love for me like a crash
why did this happen is this a test?
i hate u for making me hate myself

im cutting my wrists breaking my bones
stuck in my head, stuck in my home
laying awake all night long
lookin at u thru my phone
lonely everyday i do the same
sit on my chair and i rot away
while i keep dreamin bout u 
and the way u were dressed that day
im cutting my wrists breaking my bones
stuck in my head, stuck in my home
laying awake all night long
lookin at u thru my phone
lonely everyday i do the same
sit on my chair and i rot away
while i keep dreamin bout u 
and the way u were dressed that day

don't even bother callin my phone
i changed my number and im goin ghost
i hate the life and the way it goes
im well today but tomorrow nobody knows
different drinks, cigs and a bloody nose
that's the way the sad ones roll
losing track, of how many tracks, 
i pulled of doing song after song
song after song
tens in a row 
and im losing control
losing compusure 
destroying my soul
im just hopin that in peace i will go 
cuz~

im cutting my wrists breaking my bones
stuck in my head, stuck in my home
laying awake all night long
lookin at u thru my phone
lonely everyday i do the same
sit on my chair and i rot away
while i keep dreamin bout u 
and the way u were dressed that day

cutting my wrists, breaking my bones (young taylor)

Sourface

forever and after

cover art is by aztrosis !!!!!!!!

nothing much .o*

Thru It All [p. Vilencia]

produced by: malith 
everything else by: me 
this may be the most mid song of 2020

lyrics:

and fuck everything that I wrote down,
all these dark clouds, cant go back to you now
and I feel a lil sad so I ball out
and this hole I'm in's too deep yeah, I cant crawl out
x2

and you make me feel so alive
maybe one day ill get to call you mine
x2

(and I guess its just my turn,
like everybody else had one,
I guess ill never learn,
ill never learn to hold my tongue, 
im not what you deserve,
I won't put myself first,
ive gotta kick you to the curb,
then my heart it gets sewed back on

and fuck everything that I wrote down,
all these dark clouds, cant go back to you now
and I feel a lil sad so I ball out
and this hole I'm in's too deep yeah, I cant crawl out
x2

morning coffee (malith)

Tidalwave (live From Home)

nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
nothing much
just happy to be here

Why Do I Feel It

Softheart