i’ve been trying to write you
a series of poems
but nothings changing
ill bottle my problems
till i can’t contain them
they’ll stay right inside of my own head
and i just wanna know what it means
to be myself again
i’ve lost interest in the things that would help me just forget

and i don’t like the way i talk
i hate whats said
id rather just shut up
and eat this lead
i cant deal with dread
i cant deal with stress
i lie every single night awake in bed
my mind is sinking into sorrow
i cant see tommorow
yesterday was hollow
eyes are feeling shallow
i cant give a reason
why i should be breathing
wish for different seasons
so i can feel decent

some nights I lie in bed
trying to make sense 
of what i intend to be
my mom says get a job
but i cant hang on
to a life that isn't for me

but you and i
see eye to eye
as they keep movin forward
we get along
sing the same song
someday we'll make it out there

spotify

poems for myself w/ stephanie cortez (caspr & saint tommorow)

i miss you

I see chemtrails in the sky, but I don't see the plane
What the hell is my problem with taking the blame?
'Cause I play with my food and then someone else takes it away
It's so hard to believe, but I'm trying to change

I see lines in the sand, but I don't see who made them
I still listen to that band that you showed me last April
I still play with my food, I'm a child at the grown-up's table
It's so hard to believe, but right now, I feel stable

I moved away and I grew a few inches
What a shame, I had a chance and I missed it
And there are some days when I hear that song
And I hate to admit it
But I miss it, I do
Oh, I miss it, I miss you

Oh, I miss it, I miss it, I miss you
Oh, oh
Oh, I miss it, I miss it, I miss you

I see chemtrails in the sky, but I don't see the plane
I know that I feel it, but I don't know the name
I play with my food and then I throw it away
So hard to believe I have to grow up this way

I moved out and I made some new friends
Sometimes when I shout, it feels like no one hears it
And there are some days when I think that, somewhere, you're watching
As I grow up without you
I miss it, I miss you

I miss it, I miss you

chemtrails // lizzy mcalpine

(now on spotify)
gotta get back to you babe
you're the best i've had

[spotify]

magnolia

Far (Jocelyn Flores Remix) reprod. DatBoiDJ

PIGGYBACK Lyrics
I was three years old
All I wanted was the music and
My parents were doing everything they could
To move away from our place working over time always
While I sat up in my grandma's project building coloring

Ooh
Moved to a small town and 
Started to started to grow
Poetry written I’m singing and dancing
Ooh
Photographs painting cartoons 
That's all I know
That's all I know

I have one best friend to this very fucking day
Since we were five years old and I fucking moved away
I wish I never did cause she’s the only one who sees me for who I really am instead of how many I reach

Ooh 
Trusted too many fake people while I was still young
Gave them the benefit of the doubt 
I was so wrong
I cut them off and they came for blood cause they know
They ain't getting no more

I’m so done with playing piggy back Ooh
Swear to god I wished y’all all the best Ooh
You’re lying your way to try and gain a piece of me when you could never come close cause I know my destiny
I worked hard for my shit
Put my love in this shit
Now you’re trying to kill my name for some fame
What is this
tried to help you do your shit
Encouraged you to work on it
Was a good friend and you used that to your advantage

Now I’m 22 and I've had a crazy year of
Isolation from all the plastic people here 
I can not wait for the day I can finally move away back to New York city where the realest people really stay

Ooh
Spent this whole time writing away my heart and my soul
The people I surround myself with have hearts filled with gold
Love and empathy are things that we hold so close 
Trying to learn and evolve

I’m so done with playing piggy back Ooh
Swear to god I wished y’all all the best Ooh
You’re lying your way to try and gain a piece of me 
when you could never come close cause I know my destiny
I worked hard for my shit
Put my love in this shit
Now you’re trying to kill my name for some fame
What is this
Tried to help you do your shit
Encouraged you to work on it
Was a good friend and you used that to your advantage

I’m so done with playing piggy back
Ooh
Swear to god I wished y'all all the best
Ooh
You're lying your way to try and gain a piece of me 
when you could never come close cause I know my destiny

Follow Melanie Martinez
http://melaniemartinezmusic.com/
https://www.instagram.com/littlebodybigheart/
http://twitter.com/melanielbbh
https://www.facebook.com/melaniemartinezmusic/
https://www.youtube.com/user/Melmartinezx3

PIGGYBACK

Forget

im so over getting sober

Karma

a year in the making.
prod me
co prod https://soundcloud.com/monkimon
mastered by https://soundcloud.com/prodbybrody

you can not save this
im so far gone
the feeling is mutual
our love can’t last long
and these music notes
all inside of my head
melodies ringing
from what u had said
and i went along
with your stupid games
but i think ive grown
and i cannot play
this song is so toxic
but so is your touch
i write down these lyrics
cuz i cant feel much

wait a minute can we talk about our feelings
and everything we used to be 
right now that youre leaving me

im so fucked up i cannot feel my bones
toxicity running through all of these hoes
cry to myself cuz i can’t fall asleep
i just can’t get no peace
cuz you live in my dreams
living a dream
nah i live in a nightmare
can’t turn the corner
cuz u standing right there
love is so dead it be haunting my room
saw you last night on the couch takin shrooms

i don't wanna move forward
but i dont wanna go unheard 
cuz whatcha get is whatcha see
but im not what you need, baby

dissociate (feat. stephanie cortez)

-------------------------------------
i sing? ✧ or i try to at least
-------------------------------------

chemtrails // lizzy mcalpine

stephxniecortez

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