produced by xona

[pessimism, resigning]

@vilsynth

-lyrics-
below my end, I fall
I might take myself
down, down 
all down we go down
yeah, yeah 
below the dreams you stalk
you might take yourself
down, down, down 

I’m sorta losing tune (don’t stop)
do I have your hand? have your hand ?
many men, hold your breath 
i can’t take (baby steps)

oh I love I love I love
when I can’t win for anything I want 
but I dove I dove head on
but I dove I dove head on

watch your step
don’t
keep track of death
cold-
it’s just the feeling that makes me sick to my stomach

fall upon my lap, and make me question if i’m worth living
it’s only for material things
that keeps my skin on a string
and i can’t seem to get my grip loose
it makes me wanna cut all my ties
but as the planes fly by, i sit and think on how it could be worse
we gotta try to leave it all behind
and let the blood run through it’s course

I’m sorta losing tune (don’t stop)
do I have your hand? have your hand ?
many men, hold your breath 
i can’t take (baby steps)

oh I love I love I love
when I can’t win for anything I want 
but I dove I dove head on
but I dove I dove head on

materia

spotify

materia (ft. vil)

w @xona

produced by sleepwater speedlmt leftquiet and xona

lyrics

i needed some revenge
but i dont wanna vent
can you hear me now
its hurting my head
stop shutting me down
you were half of me wow
but now your not here
i need a way out
u were liquid to me
maybe mixed w some sea
but now she is flying
i wanna retreat
guard my heart
while u stand
from the mill
its feeling far
when u tell me its real
how could i move on when
i dont even want to
ill let this go on
cos i dont know how to
miss you
another song where
i vent bout my issues
waitings long come rip
out my tissues
im so selfish
everyones got traumas
im not speaking can u let me follow her
do i need therapy or pills in my fucking head
my life expectancy
cheers for all this fucking stress

im escaping every night my fucking hed
pls dont aim in
counting on my fucking hed
collecting all my fucking debt
pounding hard right out my chest
guess im sleeping thats a flex
lets skip eating and have sex
what are you eating guess thats bread
what are you doing no no
who are you with now
its how it spread
would u even like me
cant u tell that im trying
oh pls just like me
i swear that im crying

xona
i thought i need to go and let loose of me
but I’m stuck inside where the sun don’t seep
so i just watch along as the days runs deep
and i got my tea in hand so I’m calm for the least
and i don’t know, who i could be
i feel alone, when there’s others around me
i can’t cope, you know it better than me
to let it go but I’m the worst you could be
to go back home
where I could find a home cause I feel alone
falling, dying right here for you

oh i dont wanna talk
im ruined

ruined w/xona

prod logan

lyrics:
she's comin back to want some more
kick down my roof and breaking doors
push it away with every force
she slip right through causing war

blame it all on me cause in that head ur always right
the only head that's right for me is when ur half below my height
talkin like it's secret when i know you open wide
for anyone that comes your way who only wants a kill in sight

i needed u the most
but you were no where to be found
don't talk
hush
you have no room to be foul
i wanted you here
so don't act like we're okay
cause we're not
you stuffed me in a grave

foul

hey, woah
you look so much better than i thought you would
i know i could have helped and i know i should
have been there when you needed me most
so stay close
i just can't bear the thought of you going ghost
on everything we built and the roads we took
doesn't that sound like the best?
'cos i've been staring at a little piece of heaven in your eyes
and i look beyond the arch and see the devil in disguise
and it hurts when you matter the most
and it kills me when you leave me alone
and trust me that i gave it my all
my skin is shed and i'm nothing but bone
you're poison in my veins, my disease
the end of everything we could be
and it's hard
to focus on our wants and i won't
leave you here in my arms 'cos you know
it never got easier
my disarray
leads me here when i need a safe place
i might lead you here into the flames
and right here we'll stay
tongue tied, what can i say
burrowed, i'm hiding away
go without me, save yourself
leave right now, i wish you well
it's been a while since we spoke
but it feels like a week ago
and you forgot what i look like
you won't see even if you try
you won't see me even if you try your best
i can't believe we continue trying again
'cos in the back of my mind i just know we'll end
let's not figure it out, let's just call it dead
i stay alive for a reason
and that reason is you
when my body is bleeding
it bleeds out just for you
Friends (Interlude)
oh she stole my heart
it's all i have
ooh drifting apart
but there ain't no way i'm giving up
it's all my fault
you said yourself
i took too long to answer
you called my your 'makeshift hell'
my patience thin
you told me you wanna stay as friends
i don't know how to take that in
but trust me i'll be alright
it's the same shit but a different day i
woke up in a different place i
don't really remember how i got so damn low
save me all your bullshit lies
i find it hard to push the lines
but ain't that what you wanted love?
ain't this what you needed oh?

you're poison in my veins, my disease [feat. heylog]

self prod.

lyrics:

its you i crave, 
for more,
for more i say

rewind the time to when
you didn't lay in your grave
(grave)

you dont care enough to know what's right
sitting here wasting all my damn time
ohh but ur eye
never meant to make u cry


oh u know how i feel?
im feeling blue but i took the red pill
oh keep my heart sealed oh like michael

zaphkiel

Don’t hold back 
Fight me with all you can
It looks bad 
Broke and bruised all my hand 

Glass shatter 
Bring matters to my own hands
Dark matter
Dark matter you got dark plans 
This isn’t something I could really avoid 
I’ll contort my body away from this noise 
I got a brand new phone and I
Don’t even have your number anymore 
I can’t remember if I blocked it out of spite
I’ll just pretend that you stayed the night 
But to wake up without you here 
Never really feels right 
Couldn’t hate me anymore my dear
And that’s what it feels like 

I work on myself for it not to work out 
My inspiration has been running a draught 
You’d never get it, if you weren’t around 
I wouldn’t be here no more there’s no doubt 

All these emotions are running around 
Insects on my body the feet getting loud
10 million legs he’s got 10 million more 
To carry my fear, anxiety and all

These aren’t my friends oh they can’t be 
They keep themselves alive just to spite me 
Cause there’s 10 million multiplied 10 million more 
Eat me alive till my feelings are
Gone

You don’t know what it’s doing to me 
Eyes roll back I don’t want it don’t want it no more 
You can’t tell me you don’t look guilty 
Pass the blame to someone else it’s never your
Fault

insects

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy^\^

lyrics:
every-time that ur ignored
i’ll make sure i record
every-time u weep and bawl
i’ll make sure ur never heard

i’ma show u how it’s like
to feel like u have died
ima do it 10 times
until ur not alive

do u wonder where i’ve been at
does me with someone give u heart attacks?
i bet it does, man i bet it does
i know u well, i know u well enough

paranoia kicks in, i know u haven’t slept
it’s been a bit, about a month? since i’ve been left on read
i used to find u so adorable 
(yes)
and now ur like a (no) ya
just super fuckable

back up, back up, back up
and throw my shit away
fill up, my cup, with blood
just to feel okay
shut the, fuck up, u slut
don’t wanna hear ur name
mixing ur love, with lust
u gotta price to pay

sell ur soul to the devil if u want it to stop
y’all are both a little evil, y’all relate in a lot 
ur words and actions are so lethal, and i think u forgot
that ur boyfriend is a weirdo, man this bro is a flop

do u wonder where i’ve been now?
i’ve been working, perfecting my sound
while ur out there getting fucked up
i’ve been laying low just cooking up

heart attack

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy

lyrics:
break
away
every little thing that made us whole
and every little thought that i still hold
so stay
far far away
cause every single thing that i was told
till the day i die, i’ll make sure everybody knows.

truth a spreading everywhere like a wildfire
everything u placed is starting to backfire
backfire
starts to backfire
never speak up on my name on shit you don’t know
you don’t know
you don’t know
you don’t know
you don’t know 

stay away from me
stay away from me

stay away from me

u cannot face the fact
u wanted this and that
u keep on switching up
and all ur friends and all ur lovers
can all back me up
and what i said is done 
bottled up hatred for you then i crashed it up
i swear u wanna get so fucked up every friday 
while i’m chillin at my house, im m.i.a bae ♡ 
i don’t need no company to keep me busy ay
i can survive on my own unlike you j

(𝘸𝘢𝘳)
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩
𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘴
𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘵
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦

m.i.a

prod by stezzyxl and xav0id 
goodbye 

lyrics:
i need some space
i need a breather 
u wanna break?
i cant believe her
u wanna go?
it dosent make any sense
u were my home
and now u made a mess

take a second to relax 
take a second just for me
i dont
feel alright when i dont fit ur degree
u can
talk all u want
acting like ill never see
all u want
all u want
it wont bother me
take a second to relax 
take a second just for me
i dont
feel alright when nothing feels as what i seems
u can
laugh all u want
acting like ill never see
all u want
all u want
it wont bother me

im 1 step closer to rewind time
and i pray to god just to clear my mind
and i stood up straight, and i left behind
the only girl that caught my eyes

i saw myself
within ur eyes
oh my my
oh my my

xav0id -
take me too
the place u stay
oh i want you
to call my name 
take me too
the place u stay
oh i want you
to call my name 

xav0id -
the love I have for u
its why I need you gone
it'll never be the same
you've become my bane
im sorry for the pain
but this is what u've made
 
Just forget about me
its better that I'm gone
i still wish this didn't end
must I let u go
i can't get over u
heartache's all that remains

our final goodbye w/ xav0id

had this one in the vault for a while and am really happy to finally show it to u guys, hope u enjoy:)

Produced, Mixed and Mastered by Tnvr

Stream here! : 
https://share.amuse.io/cV4oHhs2Q-a1

lyrics:

well i hate
that i needed you this much
didn't know til it was too late
now you're out there falling in love
guess i didn't say enough
now you're burning up our polaroids
you're sick of seeing us
i'll pick up the pieces til i finally have them all
could you keep me like a secret, will you answer when i call you?

you should know that it was all for you
that it was all for you
that it was all for you

is it me? is it him?
is it someone else entirely?
i love you in entirety
i haven't cut you off but i should
if i could
if i could but you know that i never ever would
try to breathe, take it slow
know you said you'd never lie to me
hang me like a tire swing
i'll leave you in my memory for good
as i should
as i should
i don't think that i ever really could

guess that you can call me when you want
yeah you make me feel like
i'm the only one
stepping on landmines
i never told you how i love you every damn time
write another sad line, maybe you'll hear it
is it me that you need, or did you find a different tune?
did you find a better rhyme, or did you find something to lose?
well

you should know that it was all for you
that it was all for you
that it was all for you

is it me? is it him?
is it someone else entirely?
i love you in entirety
i haven't cut you off but i should
if i could
if i could but you know that i never ever would
try to breathe, take it slow
know you said you'd never lie to me
hang me like a tire swing
i'll leave you in my memory for good
as i should
as i should
i don't think that i ever really could

our final goodbye w/ xav0id

Stezzyxl