Lil Rancid Farts as Drunk Eagles Fan

MC Helth as Free Healthcare Businessman From Canadia

Lyrics:

Eagles Fan:
Go birds! Screw everybody else!
I have two beers but I’m working on twelve!
My city’s obsessed with cheesesteaks and calling everything a jawn 
And I’ll take this jawn and shove it up your jawn!
We got one fucking ring and started climbing on poles
We got the best defense and we’re winning the Super Bowl!

Free Healthcare Businessman:
What was that verse, eh? Why must you yell?
All that beer and cheesesteaks must have destroyed your brain cells
Fortunately for you, my healthcare is free!
Unfortunately for you, you lost the Super Bowl to the Chiefs!
Your city isn’t that great, come to Toronto with me
My prices are so low, they’re basically free!

Eagles Fan:
You ain’t earning any money, I’m sure that Jalen Hurts!
I’ll leave your cheap office in flames when my beer bottle bursts!
Come to the fucking Linc, you’ll be destroyed and that’s all
Call you Santa, cuz’ I’ll pelt your fatass with snowballs!
Why are you from Canada? You don’t even watch hockey
This flimsy pair of scissors just got tackled by Rocky! Go birds!

Free Healthcare Businessman:
I actually do watch hockey and business deals
And laugh about how people lose their money in those deals
I rhymed deals with deals but I really don’t care
You’re so broke you can’t even afford my free healthcare
You have one ring? Well, I have six
Because I secretly root for the PATRIOTS!!!

Eagles Fan:
WHAT?!?

Drunk Eagles Fan VS Free Healthcare Businessman From Canadia (ft. Lil Rancid Farts & MC Helth)

Today's rap battle is going to be Fortune Cookie from the TMAA vs. Fierce Raph from an unknown era.

URB 6 - Fortune Cookie Man Vs. Fierce Raph (URB)

Loki, the trickster from Norse Mythology, takes on Anansi, the spider trickster, who are faced by Eshu in a rap battle! Who will win? You decide!
Theme: Mythological tricksters
Cast: XFarceurAwakens as Loki, Anansi, Eshu

Loki v. Anansi v. Eshu

Henry Stickmin: NuggetNextDoor
Wario: HoodieMasterr
.
(0:21) Henry:
I break into the bank, now i’m breaking in this battle
Jeez, you’re more greedy than me if money is your goal
Not bringing up weight when I say “you’re hogging all the space”
I’m talking about your face when it comes to your microgames
Options: spit some bars, or take his money
Definitely the 2nd, like he’s gonna be grumpy
If Wario doesn’t back down, he’s never coming back
If I call Charles here, and he beats you in a CRASH!

(0:42) Wario:
Mess with the Wario? (WAH!) you’ll be sorry, yo
You have bigger rivalry than me against Mario
I know Completing The Mission can be pretty hard
But just like prison, YOU WON’T ESCAPE MY BARS! (Wah!)
Now Wario is cooking hard like he’s gaining big stacks
After your betrayal, your friend will NEVER come back
In one story, you work alone, he has no friends to help!
Grab that hammer, I don’t need to tell you to go kill yourself
What is that disguise? Bro needs better work
I’ll leave you like your ending: permanently over!
Now I have them shots fired, and I don’t mean guns
You know how to make a lot of OPs, this gonna be fun

(1:14) Henry:
I escaped prison and lived my life in peace
You doodle on a photo, met some guards, and then flee
Shouldn’t talk about OPs. Bro, you’re known from your greed
I’m known as a hero with some missions to complete
And what else do I need to bring up about you?
Besides greed, you as an anti-hero, and being rude?
OH WAIT! maybe I should bring up how your raps suck
Ugh, it’s more painful than getting kicked in the nuts
I’m not here to play (ay), you’re insane (ay), when it comes to money (ay), get away (ay)
I don’t have time (ay) to rap battle all day (ay), I don’t care if you lose (ay) all of your fame (ayyyyyy!)
I deal with The Wall, and the Toppats and they get beat
Go back in swimming in cash, since that’s your personality

(1:45) Wario:
Quite a verse there, but WARIO #1!
You think I didn't know about that? WARIO NOT DUMB!
And your GAME IS NOT FUN! It’s rather very stupid
At least I have a full body, which you lack, you stick!
4 fingers is better than 3
Wario way better than this thief
Spare me the bullcrap that made you a meme
Your bars are more pointless than you SMILING!
If I want this stick gone, I’ll break my PC
When your series stopped, you’re left alone like “Oh yeah, no money”
You rob banks cuz you’re nearly poor, use that teleport device
So you can see that you’re forgotten, while Wario stays alive (WAHahahahaaaaa!)
.
Beat: 47 shots (name: GREED)
Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Henry Stickmin art: HoodieMasterr
Wario art: KnuxSir
Thumbnail: HoodieMasterr

Henry Stickmin VS Wario

Figure: NuggetNextDoor
Partygoer: KnuxSir
.
(0:12) Figure:
What is that? I got no time for parties
You think you can turn me into cake? Hardly.
Face me? I’ll make your body more coated than your face
I’d say to go face-to-face, but you only carved one, what a shame
You and I? We are not the same
You’re just a PartyGORE, no wonder Partypoopers end you
Turning humans into cake? That’s not how you celebrate
Name one explorer who ACTUALLY defends you
First, you start beef with rivals, then got jumped by losers
It’s like EVERYONE’s definitely took down by Party poopers
You still have that carved smile, even though you’re going down
-Is what I’d say if you weren’t already, but you should carve a frown

(0:50) Partygoer:
Welcome to your final party! I am a Partygoer!
You wanna step to me? I’ll leave you PartyGORED!
And why exactly did you come into this Party for?
I’m setting it up, I'd tell you to leave, BUT NO EXIT DOOR!
HA! I’m just kidding! Of course you can walk out
I changed my mind, you’re stuck in The Backrooms now…
You shouldn’t bring up faces, when you can’t see
If I stayed silent, you wouldn’t even find me
The only way out, is the only option now
Death is the answer, no way for you to scream and shout
1 blink of an eye, and it’s LIGHTS OUT! You have nothing to fear
Take one step in Level 52, and know I’M ALWAYS HERE

(1:27) Figure:
I guard my Hotel, thanks to the help from my army
Tell me, what do you throw? Oh yeah, a stupid party
Feel free to use your useless mouth hands, and BITE ME
But I forgot; you’re too busy in the war to fight me
Don’t mess with me, I kill any dude
Leave you like a pooper, seeing BLUE
How many times do I gotta tell you?
YOU’RE USELESS, and that’s the truth!
I’ll wipe off that smile, you won’t be the same
Rip your arms off, and they’re my upgrade!!! (hahaha!)
You want me to eat cake? Are you insane?!
This ain’t no activity, nor a game!
This lowlife should be careful not to make a sound…
But they’d be busy celebrating, so all of your friends will FALL TO THE GROUND!
I’m beating you senselessly, and this War ain’t Fun at all
Wanna receive a second defeat? Just gimme a call!

(2:05) Partygoer:
(hehehehe) As if I am scared of this thing.
(hehehe) You resemble the demogorgon from Stranger Things (heh)
Careful what you say, no need for trouble
I’ll call up my buddies, and take you away, you already know we all come in doubles!
YOU TRIED TO FIRE SHOTS! YOU TRIED TO HURT THOSE PEOPLE!
THEY USED A CROSS! AND YOU’RE STUNNED, BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST EVIL!
I TURNED EXPLORERS INTO CAKE, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU:
YOU’RE NOT ANY BETTER, YOU’D EAT ALIVE WHOEVER’S AROUND YOU!
It’s about time you should pick someone your own size
Maybe fight Bacteria, Even THEY’RE as tall as ya
Do you wanna know what happens to those who oppose me?
We’ll mix you up good! Okay, goers! TIME TO EAT!
.
Beat: HoodieMasterr
Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Figure Art: DJBalloonz
Partygoer Art: HoodieMasterr
Backgrounds: HoodieMasterr
Thumbnail: PlantyFRB

Figure VS Partygoer

KnuxSir as Tornado
HoodieMasterr as Tsunami
.
LYRICS:
Tornado:
Oh look it’s just some water I found
You drown a city? Bitch, I eat a town!
You can escape tsunami’s getting to the high grounds
Try that with me your body won’t be found
With the fast raps bitch that can really last
Beating this loser is an easy task
Tornadoes can last for a Long. Time
Hitting this faker with Long. Rhymes.
I am taller than you and that's a known fact
about 40 times taller to be exact
Fucker really thought that they were a threat?
You won’t be seeing blue, YOU’LL BE SEEING RED!
You better lower your tone or I’ll lower your lifespan
Cuz now, bitch you’re just making me quite mad

Tsunami:
I kill more than you, mass murder is so easy
The reason for that is that I lure people into the beach, see
You kill WAY less than me, I’m the best, bitch
It’s because you kill in scattered villages in texas
At least my safety drills make more sense
And you? In schools you have to crouch like a pest
Not only do I kill but I am more fun
Cuz people LOVE riding my waves, YOU BUM
Your color is so fucking bland, JESUS
Tsunamis got a big kill streak, YOU CAN’T BEAT US
I mean the worst thing you did is destroy a TREE TRUNK
You cannot hurt me, because I be tough
Bitch you’re slaving away, SO THERE IN NO RECESS 
You can suck things up? YOU CAN SUCK IN DEEZ NUTS!
And you’re just a whiner, You’re making a BIG FUSS
You’re a Weak ass pussy, bro cannot HIT US

Tornado:
Bro I can’t hit you? That shit is cap
everytime I see your bitch ass, I take a nap
I am towering 4000+ feet tall	
So I don’t think that shorty here is ready to brawl
For a tsunami I expected flow
But I bested at that thing here my bro
And what is worse than me being on earth?
The answer to that disaster that will be your 2nd verse

Tsunami:
Talk about fast here is something that is true
I am literally 8 times faster than you
You know I am about to drown this guy with my flow
You stay the same height I can really grow
I am the fucker that took down japan
And they’re the bitches that have lots of land
So I’m bout to go it wasn’t nice to meet ya
Just pray I don’t see you when we out of this arena

Tornado:
Bro we not done yet, we just getting by
Never knew that water in raps could be so dry
Look at bro with his bad raps, he looks atrocious 
We not scared of you, we scared of what lies in the ocean

Tsunami:
What lies in the ocean you ask? IT’S ME
Looking at my prey, the people at the beach
You can only roam on land, not cool
You’d be better off battling a fucking whirlpool!
I topped this bitch, you got no game
Water all around the world we got fame
If I wanted a good fight I would rather fight a hurricane (Pussy!)
.
Beat: Anywaywell (Name: HORROR)
Writing: KnuxSir
Additional Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Art: HoodieMasterr
Thumbnail: WhozPhantom

Tornado VS Tsunami

The Dealer: HoodieMasterr
The Happy Mask Salesman: ThanosQuack
.
(0:11) The Dealer:
Long ass name, you must be a hater
I ain’t wavin’ to ya, so do not sign the waiver
Spin the chamber with a bullet, and the bullet through your masks
I hope you’re prepared for this VERBAL ATTACK! (Yeah)

“You’re gonna meet a fatal end!” Man we get it, so enough
Tell a kid what to do? Now you’re catching those fisti-cuffs
I got no rupees here, I won’t bother filling your greed
Trust me, I know a thing or two about ass kickings

(0:35) The Happy Mask Salesman:
This is the happy mask shop, not a game
No rupees?! Best you stay in your lane
I’m not here to gamble, I hope you understand
But I can take this matter into my own hands

Give me your cash, and I won’t be worth time
You’ll go out with a bang, and I’m talking rhymes
Only seen as a monster who makes dangerous deals
But the bullet to your mouth is your final meal (Why?)

(0:59) The Dealer:
Do I need the mask of truth? I don’t care how much it hurts (Click)
And after all that, I’ll just go and rack your verse (Blam)
Everything you said had no shots, it’s all blanks
You’ll thank me later once I push you to the damn brink

I won’t hesitate to put a bullet through that toothy grin
No need to slice this just to double the damage
It’s Double or Nothing, bitch! We know you won’t take this well
Make like one of my choices: Take the gun and shoot yourself

I don’t need to bother going to the case
Because those riches are mine, and it's staying at my place
Such a greedy little bastard, screw you and your money
I’ll take over your business, and once again, you start running

(1:36) The Happy Mask Salesman:
(Grrr) Wanna talk about business? You’re another monster in my eyes
Can it, red face, you’re a devil in disguise!
This pile of rust will fade when I keep it clean
I don’t give a buckshot for whatever that word means

(Grrr) I’ll make you pay for those words
I’ll take that shotgun and (BLAM) you out of Earth
My shop will never meet its closure
The longer I rap, your doom rushes closer!

The deal's off, hope you come again
I’m done playing, you’re a means to an end
We’re already closing up, it’s the end of the game
You’ve met a permanent fate
.
Beat: Ear2ThaBeat (Name: KING)
Writing: HoodieMasterr
The Dealer art: HoodieMasterr
The Happy Mask Salesman art: Trav Shark
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Thumbnail: HoodieMasterr

Special thanks to Leo Barqui and TheToppo

The Dealer VS The Happy Mask Salesman

Dig Dug: fuchsia
Bomberman: HoodieMasterr
.
LYRICS:
(0:21) Dig Dug:
I go straight underground, and what is that I found?
OH SHIT, IT’S A BOMB!!! Nah, it’s just him around.
I can enjoy my time when I’m on mini arcades
And you just stay in the garbage in an NES game
You wear that head thing, I have a face protector
You carry bombs, I burst enemies with my inflator
Hell, this Bomby prick doesn’t know when to quit
Even after he brought his friends, who aren’t even serious
The fact that when I pop a monster, it doesn’t make a mess
You explode an enemy and they turn into dust and rest
We both explode peasants, sure, but I’m always on the hunt
Make like your appearance, and keep your mouth shut
I’m shocked that you think you’re still better
Who needs explosions when I fight the worst game made ever?
You can’t be bombing me, when you bomb yourself to hell
Make like players doing jackshit, and explode yourself

(1:05) Bomberman:
Roam around, you say? You only walk underground
That’s ONE WAY to explode you, because you’re body won’t be found
Not one enemy can top me, I always come on 1st!
You topple what? A dinosaur, and a Scuba Diver?
Wow, what a pest, just give this shit a rest
I’m about to Bomb this track on THIS little pest!
And you’re telling me to explode myself how?
Shove that inflator up your ass and go where you belong: in the ground!
It’s the BOM-BER-MAN when he LIGHTS THE TRACK!
After this, There will be no way for him to COME BACK
Explode YOUR ASS! Bring your dumbass back to the past
Although, If I do find your game in the trash, I'll give you a pass.
Dude, I’m awesome! People wanna play me
I got multiplayer, you couldn’t afford a lady
You bitch! You go on quests alone? That’s sad.
That you inflate enemies, but couldn’t bring a damn audience back
.
Beat: HoodieMasterr
Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing & Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Art: HoodieMasterr
(Backgrounds from google images)
Thumbnail: HoodieMasterr

Dig Dug VS Bomberman

CAST:

HoodieMasterr as everyone.

CREDITS/CREW:

Beat: Hocii808 (Name: Crashtest)
Everything else: HoodieMasterr
.
(0:20) Jake Bressler:
Call me Jake (Yeuh!) I’m here to run (Yauh)
Get away from guards and your train brain, cuz you’re dumb! (Oh)
I put my cap on, no cap to your one sentence, and I’m just starting
Meet me at the battle, I’m starving (Mmmm)
You can’t handle the damn flow I pack
So much dead bodies on tracks, there’s no one to have your back!
GawDAMN, look at this, everywhere in ASDF is a mess! (*Vomit*)
Making massacres with a train, call it a Trainwreck! (Nerd!!!)
If I get a nickel everytime you never say a new line
I would be so frickin’ rich my own home is what I’d buy! (Yeah)
I’d say ‘I wish you would die’
But your own train did it for me with how much you cause suicide (DAMN)
Getting the coins, you just give fear (huh), it would be best if you get out of here (huh)
Where are your friends? Oh wait they’re dead (huh), I have 2 pals ‘till the end (huh)
I’m off to run some errands in my level, so Imma spell it out
How can this loser talk when all he does is Trains? Noowww you spit.

I Like Trains Kid:
I Like Trains.

Jake Bressler:
That’s all you gotta say? Bitch I’m ahead of you!
I’m gonna end you worse than you did with your marriage, du- AHHHH!!!!

Jake Bressler VS I Like Trains

Everything by HoodieMasterr

Beat: WhozPhantom
.
(0:17) Geometry Dash:
I may be a cube (uh) but I got a pass (uh)
Wanna know who you talking to? GEOMETRY DASH!!
Kids bought me on the play store, and I’m so cool
I turn into a spikeball, I’m a new obstacle (Yo!)
Buddy, I have many forms, AND I got a Second game
You run forever, I can move and stop, we ain’t the same
You can duck? Right, but I don’t even need to!
All eyes are on the OG, and you’re just beat, dude

(0:41) Chrome Dino:
We’re not the same? I mean, we’re used to
You’ll drown in my waves, and I’m not talking ‘bout forms, dude
Stay out of my way (uh) because when this Dino spits
There’s nothing pretty ‘bout it, (yuh) so prepare to get wrecked, BITCH!
I’m the best pixel game, lemme tell you something
I get played FREE on the internet, your game takes MONEY! (No!)
Kinda disappointing how you still think that you’re so cool
What’s even sadder is that Hoodie don’t play you no more, fool!
Your full game goes hard (Nope) ONLY FOR LOSAHS!!!
I don’t need spikes and whatnot to fuck you up
Even Robtop had a rivalry, take another loss
I left an impact on this cube, LIKE A BOSS!

(1:17) Geometry Dash:
Boy, your gameplay’s like the ground you run on, in the dirt!
You’re just all alone, I have many other characters
While you get heartbroken, I’d be chillin’ on mah ship
You’ll be asking people “Do you need me?” You wish
You jump a cactus, I leap over spikes
I get on my ship, and enjoy my ride!
Avoiding walls in my wavy form
Switch gravity in a spikey ORB!
Stole Sonic’s hobby, but the difference is you’re slow on feet
Like a wall in front of me in my Spider form, your bars just miss me!

(1:41) Chrome Dino:
Nothing new after GD 2, good thing I never played it
None of us can figure out what’s inside your basement
And by that, I mean it’s filled with demons behind doors
You rarely pack a taste, I can safely say your game is poor
Yes, I know we’re platform games, but I promise I’ll go “Lite”
My arms may be small, but who says I can’t put up a fight?
I’m still taking the win, and I don’t need anything new
I’d say fight FNF, but Parappa did it for you!

Geometry Dash VS Chrome Dino

Nintendo: HoodieMasterr
Sega: KnuxSir
.
(0:10) Nintendo:
Since I was found before you, I’ll go first
Nintendo! (Yeah!) Sega’s just absurd
Starting from bad pixels to the loudness of their games
In conclusion, they’re just really lame. (haha)

My game’s more advanced than you’ll ever be
People want graphics, not retro game peaks
So BACK OFF! Before I show you who’s boss
But it turns out it’s Sakurai who’s goated with the sauce

I also have social media, like youtube
I’m big, you aren’t growing anytime soon!
Think twice before stepping to the bro
Take you back to the past where you’re beaten by Nintendo!

(0:43) Sega:
Didn’t expect Nintendo to be good at rap
But it doesn’t change that you treat workers like crap
So I don’t know why you even try to spit
If I were you, I’d off my company in an instant!

We’re both in Japan, but you’re catching these hands, bruh
Beat you so bad, you’ll scurry to America!
How do you feel that Mario had a different voice?
While Sonic’s movie brought here all the girls and boys

To citizens, you’re big, to employees, you’re strict
To citizens, I’m big, to employees, we make hits!
We’re better off without you as an environment
So if you wanna make it up, I suggest you suck it

(1:16) Nintendo:
We’re bringing up movies now? Then let us chat
At least my mascot didn’t start off looking like crap!
And your rap proves that you saying things blindly
No matter what you do, you’ll always be behind me!

Nintendo’s the bigger company with more consoles
You’re still in the Dreamcast, the only thing you hold
Did you even focus on how much fame we have?
If this was a lineup, you’d be in the back

(1:38) Sega:
This dude has a big ego, enough about who’s first!
That’s literally the only thing I hear in your verse!
You’re just a massive jerk, do I gotta say more?
‘Mario RUN’? Nah, get that off the game store!

Super Mario Bros. was utter trash
Running out of time’s the only way you can go fast! (Oh god!)
Ristar world 3, like the backgrounds, I cooked
Because in this battle, I beat you faster than Sonic could!
.
Beat: HoodieMasterr
Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Thumbnail: HoodieMasterr
Logo: BELSXN

Nintendo VS Sega

Mr Goodman and Mr. Frog: HoodieMasterr
.
(0:19) Mr. Goodman:
BREAKING NEWS! We got a frog on the loose
He’s becoming president?! Get his ass sued!
Mr. Frog, this is an interview
How did you even take over after knowing people hated you?

No “Hello I’m A Frog” shit is gonna make it up
You can flip me off, but it doesn’t change you make shit up
Ate a dude to get your love? Is the crowd on crack?!
I sure as hell know that YOU ARE, now run it back.

So back onto the series, Frogger choked a guy
Almost ends his life, if not for two goons by his side
Smiling Friends? Is that a jab?
You leave your Friends Frowning when doing bad!

I get that life can be hard as a big celebrity
I’m busy being rich, meanwhile, you’re in grief
So do us both a favor and never be seen again
That’s it for the news, I’ll put it to an- (Mr. Frog: Hello!)

(0:59) Mr. Frog:
I’m Mr. Frog. This is my verse.
You’re just a dick, and I’m going first!
No one cares about this Arrogant bitch
When it comes to names, you aren’t a Good Man to Marvin (Hello)

Call me Mr. Fro-G the way I spit on flow
I’ll crush you into tiny bits! Hello.
When Mr. Frog is here, my Opps don’t survive
Be happy you’re not the first man I’ve eaten alive (Hello)

They all know me as the F-R-OG
Shutting off the TV’s the only way you’re not seen!
Compared to me, you are just a little bug
And I’m known for eating them, just for fun. (Hello)


(1:28) Mr. Goodman
Zzz *gasp* Oh, did I sleep to soon?
No shit, good thing didn’t hear shit from you
And if I did, all I’ll hear is “Hello”
With your ass around, I find Marvin better than you, hoe!

Now Goodman makes a comeback, which in you won’t come back
This froggy has been left gagged when I’m finished with my raps!
He always has been a has-been when the tables turned
Don’t make your next verse as stressful as your feelings, nerd!

Go back to leap pads, prick, before you get the bird
If I mentioned Duo, I would say ‘it’ll also hurt’!
Your episode is as short as your temper
I earned a lot of hoes, and you're lonely forever!

(1:58) Mr. Frog
You’re one to speak, your wives are rarely seen
Same goes for you when you appear on the TV screen
You wanna talk tempers? I got one for your ass
You get pissed when your car has a little scratch!

Doesn’t matter what you say, I am more liked than you!
No one asked for a prick to deliver some news!
You blame everything on Marvin, is that your job?
It’s pretty clear that this reporter is whitewashed

I became the president, it’s clear who’s the big boss
Like you competing with Chef, you’ll be taking a loss
It makes sense that you’re the antagonist
You’d do anything for cash, but it goes to shit

Got that off my chest, I’m out of things to say
One day, you’ll be overthrown out of the way
Because I have one final news to deliver
Goodman’s out of business as Mr. Frog is the winner. Hello.
.
Beat: AngelLaCienciaBeats (Name: News)
Writing, Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Cover art: HoodieMasterr

Mr. Goodman VS Mr. Frog

Johnny Cage (Audio): Clever Chaos
Johnny Cage (Video): HoodieMasterr
Quagmire (Audio and Video): HoodieMasterr
.
(0:22) Johnny Cage:
Heeere’s Johnny! (Yeah!) Stepping into the ring (Uh!)
This man succeeds in nothing without his tiny thing (Woo!)
You all drink at a bar, yet your friend hates your guts
I can stop your sex obsession with a punch to the nuts! (Yeah!)

This is a Cage Match, so expect to have your ass kicked
A shark bit you off, and swam away with your fish sticks (Bye!)
Your job is always risky, and you just fly planes, idiot!
You’re just plain as day even worse than your pilot (Damn!)

I’m spitting fire on this track, not talking Scorpion’s fatality
Y’all get sent to the ER if they go and battle me
I pack a punch, but it lands unexpectedly
Cage wins! Flawless Victory! Raptality! (Done!)

(0:56) Quagmire:
Hi, I’m Glenn Quagmire, and this is battle rap (Yup!)
All of that was cap, and I don’t mean Chris’ hat
I met Sonya, and I gave her my hippity
We had ourselves a blast! Giggity giggity giggity!!! (Yuh!)

At least I have a job, and I don’t wanna hate
But there’s no point in having girlfriends when you never get laid (Giggity!)
She was a real fighter, and I like it rough
Keep your damn mouth shut like it’s Mortal Kombat 1 (Yeah!)

Now let’s talk about your friends, thank god it’s all over
Thanks to your new game, you’re brought further than closer (Wow.)
Aw, don’t make me laugh! My quaggy skills are hard to take
It’s a pretty funny joke, your dick is in the sink! (Ooohh!)

(1:30) Johnny Cage:
Took a glance at your neighbours’ dog, and then you see red. (Yup)
Decapitation is the only way you get ahead (Uh huh)
And hitting on my girl? Your friend’s wife is who you stalk
You should’ve said ‘wiggity’ cuz in reality, you’re bald (Oh!)

Let’s cut to the mains, I’ll win and you’ll lose
With my powers, it’s obvious for that fact to be true (Yeah!)
Your neighbours look at you as if you’re some kind of freak
You were born 9 times, no wonder you’re such a pussy! (OH!)

Scene 1: Glenn couldn’t hit me with a lamp!
Scene 2: Cage punches the crotch of this man! (Ouch!)
Now he’s lost his nuts again, and oh boy, what a shame
Give up, Quagmire! You just got CAGED!!! (Johnny Cage!)

(2:04) Quagmire:
I’ve been in jail before, so getting caged ain’t shit!
Yeah, I use em for their bodies, but i’m honest about it (Yikes)
You tryna copy my pal? He’s the one getting screen time
The unexpected scene is you going on SCREAM time! (Ahhh!)

I fucked many whores, your lovelife was almost robbed
Cuz it seems like your girl cared more about her job (Ah.)
“We do missions all day.” Want my words through your brain?
Ok, I’ll tell ya everything I have to say. (clears throat)

When I hit on a girl, they’d be asking for more
And god, you’re just like Brian: A big, selfish BORE! (True)
You helped out with many missions, and ya earned no wealth
I don’t need multiplayer for you to kill yourself
.
Beat: HoodieMasterr
Writing: HoodieMasterr
Mixing and Mastering: HoodieMasterr
Logo: BELSXN
Thumbnail: HoodieMasterr

Quagmire VS Johnny Cage

Video Release => :shrug:

dreamothx182 as L
https://www.castingcall.club/dreamothxl82

Mornal as Godot
https://www.youtube.com/@Mornal

L (0:09)
You’ve met your match once I’ve made a deduction
I’m interested to see how you’re able to touch this
So… I’ll bite though I won’t expect much since
I’ve already had fun with people claiming they’re justice
I got both legs up and it’s hardly a hunch
You talk a big game so much maybe bring it for once
But if you’re choosing to move on without taking fault
It’ll be another heavy loss like you did with Terry Fawles
You went through a lot, dealt with feelings of grief
But it’s not in my taste to be spilling the tea that this isn’t a dream
Blinded by Redd White,
that behind the defence lies your friend’s life you let die
Divert that shifty gaze, should I simply state
How it’s a risky play, leaving it to Misty Fey
I’ll rid this case of a bad apple and rapper
By leaving no trace when I battle backstabbers

Godot (0:48)
OBJECTION!
. . . (*coffee break*)

You ruined the spice trying to do what’s right
Using methods blacker than a moonless night
You had the cops reduced for being in hot pursuit
But the darkest truth makes for a stronger brew
Now this is all on you but I’d advice you give up
Since that cold stare’s nothing compared to my sixth cup
Seems befriending the enemy wasn’t meant to be
so stick to tennis if you still intend to swing
When this hotshot pops off, like my bars I rock hard
While this oddball got stopped by convoluted love plots
Ending the greater mind, at last it came to Light
But I won’t waste the time to watch that aimless fight
We’re made alike, taking fights that we might lose
Yet you paid the price, can’t abide rules like I do
You’re ineffective if you really didn’t know
That it’s thanks to Netflix that there’s millions provoked
You’ll still hit the floor if you have a go at me
But this detective remains a bigger work than Atmey

L (1:37)
I’m at a loss but how is it surprising when
Chances of you beating me is still at 5%
I’d suspect you to be a fly advisor
It’s a pity that a crime had you hide behind a visor
That guise can’t provide for a decent trait
Now I’ll piece this case together like a piece of cake
I thought you’d easily cave from locking secrets away
But you keeping your game means you’re still being played
My shots can’t be topped by what Hawthorne had dropped in
You think that with Wright, she’d be awfully toxic
Judging by this Turnabout, I’m finding it absurd how
Life’s been a trial, like you flipped yours around

Godot (2:06)
It’s far from my crimes but I think you’d understand
You’re all bark and no bite, like Tigre’s on the stand
The killings in Japan, to bring them to an end
You tied yourself to a fate more bitter than my blends
It’s not a shock that you’re missing the biggest hint
When you barely left a mark but I’m not talking fingerprints
You’re taking this L, but if you wanna taste victory
Here’s my last cup to savour while it’s bittersweet

Written by (me!)
Prod. by King EF
Mixed by SPM1000
Additional Instruments by MegaPMB

Cover Illustrations by Blast.
50-50 Rap Battle Logo by SPM1000

L vs Godot. 50-50 Rap Battle!

I believe in Mercator projection

Hello I'm Yung Greenland and I live in the frozen tundra with a crew full of penguins. Soon I'll be making a petition to legalize nuclear bombs.


Still G.R.E. is out now!

New album in the works…

Fallafable (sic) adj., something that is weird in a funny, strange, sus, cool, and/or controversial manner. E.g., “I ate a dog in Springfield, Ohio very fallafably.”

What's up playas, and welcome to my music channel!

New tracks tagged ##Rap Battle