This piece has its origins from the sleeping sounds of my daughter. Here we are on the borderline between sleep and wakefulness. What can be heard and what is hidden under other sounds.

Distractions

Lyrics:

I can't live every day in fear of me losing my fear that's keeping me here
I'm stuck in a cycle year after year, where I wanna drown away in my tears
I can't live on my own, I want someone, please hold me so
I'd rather fade away than be alone, I need someone to hold me close

Most days now, I'm stuck in place
I'm keeping a mask plastered on my face
But lately, I've been so out in space
I'm coming in last in the daily race
I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my time
I'm losing my sanity, I'm going blind
I'm losing my tears, I'm losing my fears
I'm losing every ounce of me that keeps me here

I just wanna be alone, but I don't wanna be on my own
I want someone to hold me close, I wanna have someone give me hope

I can't live every day in fear of me losing my fear that's keeping me here
I'm stuck in a cycle year after year, where I wanna drown away in my tears
I can't live on my own, I want someone, please hold me so
I'd rather fade away than be alone, I need someone to hold me close

Most days now, I lie awake
Insomnia keeps me up until daybreak
Lately I feel I need a break
From all the friends in my head that I can't shake
I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my time
I'm losing my sanity, I'm going blind
I'm losing my tears, I'm losing my fears
I'm losing every ounce of me that keeps me here

I just wanna be alone, but I don't wanna be on my own
I want   someone to hold me close, I wanna have someone give me hope

I can't live every day in fear of me losing my fear that's keeping me here
I'm stuck in a cycle year after year, where I wanna drown away in my tears
I can't live on my own, I want someone, please hold me so
I'd rather fade away than be alone, I need someone to hold me close

Hold Me Close (Prod. RFM Beats)

A fusion of punchy basslines and a synth melody inspired by the meditative flow of a d kurd handpan. A call to break free from conformity and return to your weird, raw and authentic self.

Back to Alien

Separation bass

“This Is My Meltdown” is a raw, piano-driven power ballad that unapologetically explores the inner world of an autistic woman hitting emotional overload.
It’s not a cry for pity — it’s a demand for understanding, autonomy, and space.
Cinematic, emotional, and unfiltered, this track is for anyone who’s ever been told they’re too much for simply being themselves.

This is not broken. This is not wrong.
This is real.
This is my meltdown.

Written from the perspective of lived neurodivergent experience.
Respect it. Feel it. Share it.

#autisticvoice
#neurodivergentmusic
#powerballad
#emotionalpop
#femalevocals
#pianoballad
#mentalhealth
#autisticwomen
#rawlyrics
#cinematicpop
#meltdownsong
#letmebeme
#australianartist
#disabilitypride

This Is My Meltdown (Just Let Me Be Me)

This recording is an audio version of my article 'Rethinking Behaviour and Belonging: Why “What Works” in 2025 Needs to Mean More', originally published on 31 August 2025.

In it, I explore why behaviour cannot be reduced to compliance, how masking and refusal reveal hidden pressures, and why leadership, consistency, and high expectations must be redefined if inclusion is to be real.

Read the full article at https://katecoldrick.com/2025/08/31/rethinking-behaviour-and-belonging-why-what-works-in-2025-needs-to-mean-more/

Kate Coldrick – Rethinking Behaviour and Belonging: Why “What Works” Needs Rethinking (Audio)

Are “calm” classrooms really inclusive?

In this audio reading, Kate Coldrick explores how behaviour policies that prize quietness and compliance can mistake masking for belonging — and what schools can do instead to create environments where neurodivergent students can be themselves.

Originally published on katecoldrick.com, this piece examines the tension between “calm” and “camouflage,” challenging the idea that outward calmness equals inclusion. Read the original at: https://katecoldrick.com/2025/09/03/calm-or-camouflage-how-behaviour-policies-misread-belonging/

Written and read by: Kate Coldrick
Follow Kate’s writing on inclusive practice, literacy, and neurodiversity at katecoldrick.com

Kate Coldrick - Calm or Camouflage? How Behaviour Policies Misread Belonging (Audio)

Behind the Brightness is a hardstyle–makina fusion track that explores the hidden battles behind a calm exterior. It reflects the feeling of masking, pushing forward while others seem to rise faster, and carrying silent storms that never show on the surface.

Epic supersaws, emotional leads, and nostalgic Spanish dance influences blend with a modern festival hardstyle punch.

A tribute to everyone who keeps moving, even when the world only sees what’s on the outside.

Behind the Brightness

Behind the Brightness (Bajo la Superficie) (Spanish Pont Aeri Tribute)” es una fusión entre hardstyle y makina que profundiza en las luchas internas que escondemos tras una apariencia tranquila. Habla del masking, de avanzar cuando parece que todos suben más rápido, y de cargar tormentas silenciosas que nadie llega a ver.

Supersaws épicas, melodías emocionales y el espíritu nostálgico de la era Pont Aeri se mezclan con la fuerza del hardstyle moderno.

Un homenaje a quienes siguen adelante, aunque el mundo solo vea la superficie.

Behind the Brightness (Bajo la Superficie) (Spanish Pont Aeri Tribute)

 Audio description of the Masking Infographic. She details what masking is and what it can mean for Autistic people, including the potential for severe impact on physical and mental health.  

Masking infographic- Working with Autistic parents: Frontline Briefing

I am a sound designer and I work at the YLE, Finnish broadcasting company. Here are some of my own sound stuff for you to listen.

You can listen (and watch with additional slideshow) my audio documentary "La Perla - A Treasure Among Guitars" here with English subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgCweC22QhI

Just a guy with a voice. If my music speaks to you, that means the world to me

Autistic Adult writing lyrics for songs for healing from PTSD, Domestic Violence, and Coercive Control and seeking Trauma Informed Care For Front Liners. All my songs are FREE, I invite artists to record my songs as long as words not changed and attribution given to AusticZone. Still building this platform so please be patient while I organise things. Bless you

Kate Coldrick – Inclusive Education Audio

Kate Coldrick is a literacy tutor, researcher, and educational writer specialising in inclusive strategies for neurodivergent learners. She develops research-informed resources for Functional Skills and GCSE English, phonics, orthographic mapping, and inclusive classroom practice.

This channel features audio versions of Kate’s blog posts and articles from across her platforms - making her writing more accessible and available in spoken form.

Exploring sound from scratch with Logic Pro on my MacBook Pro, every beat, every synth, every mix is part of my journey. Just a beginner finding his voice through rhythm, emotion, and raw energy. Experimenting with AI tools like SUNO. Welcome to the world of TÆTHAN.

At Research in Practice, we bring together academic research, practice expertise and the experiences of people accessing services. We then apply this knowledge to develop a range of resources and learning opportunities, as well as delivering tailored services, expertise and training.

We work closely with professionals across the children, families and adult sectors to ensure our work is truly sector-led and responds to the most pressing issues.

New tracks tagged #Masking