All Of You

12:54 am

answer

<3

sleeping through weekends
sleeping through weekdays
sleeping through family events
i just don't care

sleep through the alarm clock
sleep until my heart stops
sleep until i don't wake
fighting my fear of death

fighting my fear of death
fighting my fear of death

sleeping in guest rooms
sleeping depressed, too
sleepwalk out to the bridge
i'll jump one day

sleep to avoid things
sleep and act dead
said you'll wake me up soon well
what are you waiting for?

what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?

sleep

a song that functions as a coping mechanism

maybe i'll leave home today and drive or walk around
i could meet some friends for dinner at a restaurant downtown
but something tells me it's a bad idea to outside
that little voice inside my head that whispers "you might die"

maybe i'll get out of bed and go down to the store
i could buy a couple candy bars or bleed out on the floor
i'm so prone to accidents and awkward little habits
i don't wanna leave my room, i wanna hide out in my attic

i am afraid of everything
i run away from everything

i think i'll go out tonight, and maybe see a movie
'cause there's so much to fear in life, but also so much beauty
i know that my condition is difficult, alright
but i'm sick of letting all my friends believe that they're disliked

so i'm gonna leave my house today
i'm gonna say all that i need to say
and i'll talk to strangers and compliment them
to prove to myself that i'm strengthened again

i am okay with everything
i'll be okay through anything

anxiety; self-reliance

yep. still miss u.

lyrics:
the beauty that i once saw in the world
must've transferred itself into you
'cause i feel your precense at every moment
your voice in whatever i do

and i'm tired of trying and laying awake
wishing death would come take me at last
to think i exist is a fable to me
i'm unable visit the past

so i'll rot
in this grave

and soon you will find someone better than me
with a beautiful smile and a daily routine
and they'll take from your heart what i placed when you left
and they'll toss it aside like stale cigarettes

AND YOU'LL BURN ME ALIVE AND INHALE MY INSIDES
AND I'LL TURN INTO SMOKE AND I'LL FLOAT IN YOUR EYES
AND YOU'LL CRY LIKE WE BOTH DID EVERY NIGHT
AND I'LL FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING FEELS LIKE

to be free...
to be free

to be free

split betwixt patrick and i !

download: 
https://themostbeautifulimages.bandcamp.com/album/split-with-tea

https://teatea.bandcamp.com/album/split-with-the-most-beautiful-images-created-to-be-destroyed

is that so hard - tea

cover photo taken by mads

chain smoke the hunger away
only eating one meal a day
on a good day, but the good days
will never come

i got so used to loss
that is sort of became part of me
i lose myself in my head
i lose my patience in the agony

i lost my youth in the fallout
of somebody else

who took advantage of trust
and left me hating myself

it's always there in my dreams
i put myself through your hell

why did you do those things to me?

sit down on the side of my bed
and contemplate the endless nothing sat inside of my head
it's such a slow burn, but the candle
is always lit

i got so used to fear
it learned to manifest in me
i fear the ending of it all
i fear your reckless apathy

i fear that everything's boring
and nothing will help

it's like it's all in a cycle
my dwindling health

i feel the breath of the reaper
on the side of my neck

why do i still get out of bed?

reckless apathy

constantly reminded of my past self's dumb mistakes
wishing i could go back in time

dreaming on repeat, climbing up the staircase
stepping into open air

nicotine for dinner, you ask if i've lost weight
the truth is that i didn't mean to

panic in the bathroom, 'cause the person in my mirror
is a foggy recollection of me

but i have to be okay
you say there's just too much at stake
and i'd throw it all away
if i said goodbye today

i have to be okay

hi sorry this is really sad

get drunk to forget that i could jump
sober up and wanna do it twice as much
drink more, but it’s never quite enough
think morbid thoughts to feel more stuck

pass out in the morning when the light
floods over the empty void of night
and this sickness i can't fight
will constantly ruin my life

'til i pass out
on the floor again
and feel the air under my feet
i’m always falling in my dreams
but they aren’t nightmares
i think they’re omens
of what’s coming for me
i see demons in my sleep
then i wake up

get high to forget how much it hurts
come down, just to end up feeling worse
six years of therapy reversed
by every line in every verse

used to write poems just to cope
so ironic, now the rope
around my neck’s entwined
with every letter, every line

my writing
is getting better
but i’m certainly not
put me in the ground to rot
and don’t remember
please forget me
‘cause every memory you keep
will be more pain on you from me
than i can take

sickness (8th floor blues)

hi how r u i'm ok also this is old

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

always waiting too long
plucking strings from the spiderwebs hanging down
it's all meter when you're living in song
move slowly to an infinite, monotonous sound
barely eating, always staying in place
depression nesting in between these hollow parts
something endless in my monochrome dreams
i'm a nobody now that you've taken my heart

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

to be free

tea

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sadielady02

Brett Morgan

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