Greatness comes with a heavy cost...
Again and again, I am paying the price to have a glimpse.
Sometimes I hate myself, sometimes I wave my pride.
Most of the time, I can't see the "great" thing, at anything.
I sank, let all go. I disintegrate, fail altogether.
I thrive, have burnout, and am seen as a disaster.
It's sad to see that it's all in my mind, and nobody actually cares.
But everyone judges the reason why I should be praised.

It is said that in the end, I didn't change; I can't change.
As I realize how pointless all the change is, just to become someone else,
I just lose the passion, I just can't answer who I am.
But it is not about that someone either, I wanted it for myself.
Hurt myself just to escape from pain. That's the irony.

Whatever I do, whoever I become,
Inside of me always craves for that greatness,
To achieve such goals, he needs to suffer.
Killing that just makes me miserable.
To not reach my dreams, not be the one I want to be.
Because of that, I am tired of harming myself.
I am tired of fixing myself.
I am tired of everything.
---

Essentially a remake of my previous piece, The Lost.
The Lost was about, the lost. It overflows with sadness and acceptance.
However, this is not about the temporary moments and individuals. This is about the curse of ambition. Trying to be the number one, searching the greatness, making ultimate sacrifices, hurting people and myself.
I was always a perfectionist. Sometimes, I try to take a pacifist approach, living life for moments, friends, fun and so on. However, I become a shell of myself. If I give up all my ambition, I just turn into a husk of a distant memory...

I am searching for a way to achieve perfection without damaging any more people, or myself.

I am tired

PFP/banner: https://xetherios.carrd.co

Alt: @isopyrum2

I make electronic music as a hobby, at least for now.

I taught myself how to make music with a huge help from my brother, a professional composer/artist.
Go support him now. His songs are hot, and I mean 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 hot.
https://soundcloud.com/the-cosmic-cat-444510053

Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Nxghtcvnt is known for his very raw, experimental sound, he uses alot of breaks from 90's only to make them cleaner and give them next life. He loves to combine alot of genres.
Try and feel what he feels.

〰️🔺➰🔸〰️ 🔶 ⚫️ ➰ ⚫️ 🔶〰️🔸➰🔺〰️

dark psy,suomi,goa DJ
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kekeyuyu13?igsh=YTIzb21zMXJzNnpm&utm_source=qr

https://cosmiccats.neocities.org/

20yo Composer/Producer/Pianist (random music generator)

Sometimes, if I have any free time, I explore and comment on new releases, trying to find gems. Then, I repost the 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓉 and 𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓽 of them. So, welcome to my little collection!

Other times, I publish my own gems, some of them are, ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛᴇꜱᴛ...
But I have a few, that make me happy :>

Todo:
*Release ¨20 finished piece
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Bio (boring):
I graduated from Eskişehir Conservatory with a degree in piano. Now, this is my 2nd year in the Bilkent Composition Department. I also work on the university's radio. I usually create my compositions in different styles and cultures. Sometimes they are short-movie or game soundtracks, sometimes they are simply techno or breakcore. I enjoy this/creating various kinds of music so much that I ignore the probability of hurting my career at some point...
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GO SUPPORT @KiveXewo !!! (my brother)

I am tired

Alperen Demirkaya (The Cosmic Cat)