while I listen to this song, I always remember when I left my sunshine of the life alone at the one summer. I can't forgive myself for that, cause she needed me at that time the most. Everything is fine now, but I won't forget this sleepless nights..

(Lyrics)

\\ intro //

I been spending all my nights alone
Wake up to missed calls on my phone
I just want to have you for my own
My love for you it’s only grown

I waste my time on mindless things
Might just say fuck it and buy a wedding ring
Every time I see you it’s refreshing 
This is real love not some summer fling

\\ verse 1 //

I run into your arms love to feel you baby
Spent a lot of time alone and I miss you lately
When I am without you time goes slow it drives me crazy
Have no motivation yeah people think I’m lazy 

Really I just miss you want to feel your lips
We can run away from this town yeah we’ll dip
Drive round with the windows down we’ll take a long trip
Yeah the rain it pitter patters on the windshield it drips

\\ bridge //

Yeah on the windshield it drips (x2)

But then we go off road and we flip
Pitter patter turns to blood splatter

\\ verse 2 //

Yeah the wheels go off-road we try to steer back on
But we can’t correct and full of fear you grab my arm
Yeah we go over we lose control
The car begins to roll
Oh God why’d you let this happen she didn’t get to get old

Yeah I watched you stop breathing
Saw the life from your eyes leaving
Your eyes closed, chest stopped heaving
I tried my hardest to help but couldn’t stop the bleeding

\\ Chorus //

I been spending all my nights alone
No more calls from you are on my phone
I just wish I had you for my own
My love for you it’s only grown

I waste my time on mindless things
Might just say fuck it and sell this wedding ring
I miss your laugh and your love it’s depressing
Yeah we had real love not some summer fling

\\ outro //

Without you I hate to grow old
When you left so did part of my soul
Every day alone is one that I dread
I keep replaying that car crash in my head

i keep replaying that car crash in my head

Written by Senzu, Lxst Boy 
Produced by Heydium
Mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

Lyrics

Senzu
[Verse]
she was girl from july,
the type with light blue eyes,
the type that drew you close, and made you love her 
like the most
im so sorry i left
if i could do it again
id probably stay, but then id leave cus
the good things fade away

[Hook]
i, went through so many sleepless nights
just to make sure that you're alright, just to make sure
that you'd stay mine
i, did everything i tried
just to say you weren't defined,
by the lies i told to you

Lxst Boy
[Verse]
i told so many lies in the past, yeah
i dont wanna fight, wanna make it all right, yeah
everytime i speak, realize its bad timing
feel im drowning, these sleepless nights
got a hold of me again
lxst my future, lxst my friend
i wont ever sleep again
when i shut my eyes i see you with him

Sleepless Nights Ft Lxst Boy [Heydium]

written by Lxst Boy & A Distant Voice
produced by mrmcchickino
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by Cavasoul

-lyrics-
(Chorus: Lxst Boy)
does she remember
the way she made me laugh?
i wanna text her
but i will get nothing back
it's harder than i anticipated
feel my chest collapse
i think i need a break
but i cant relax

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
save me
take control, don't
break me
turn the pencil upside down
erase me
what did i do wrong cause now
she hates me
oh she hates me

(Chorus)

(Verse 2: A Distant Voice)
every note that i would send
was a list of the dreams that i had in my head
but i missed all my chances, i’m feeling regret
now 
i’m 
thinking of how you would smile
you lit up my world
and it would took me a while
to stop feeling red
got my heart rate a hundred and ten
and you’re making it clear
i got nothing to fear
cuz now my end is here
all these letters i wrote to myself
were they meant for me or someone else
did i do something wrong to you 
making me seem like a demon from hell

(Chorus 2x)

S T R E A M

letters2myself w/ A Distant Voice (mrmcchickino)

written by Lxst Boy & Giovanni
produced by Boyfifty & Ayleen Valentine 
mixed and mastered by Giovanni
out on all platforms

thanks for all the support on the old version 💙
shoutout Matthias, love u bro

-lyrics-
(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)
I'm sorry that I let you down
it's probably cause I sleep too much
and every time that you're around
there's always something wrong

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
late nights and talks with my conscience
lately i been feeling nauseous
I write songs so call me off topic
lowkey wanna tell them to stop it
I'll just get walked on
I'm feeling that way like non-stop
I'm sorry I'm an outcast wait no I'm not
but I let you down whenever I talk
I'm feeling like a 9tails knockoff
I came from the sewers then the time stopped
im running around in circles in my thoughts
the clock winding down, hear the tick tock
when I'm locked in my room
I'm feeling the tension
record at my desk
these lyrics unscripted
writing these songs
that you'll never listen
cause you never cared
I'm a solo mission woah
uh I wanna talk
without feeling guilty
I need a shower
you making me filthy
blood stains the wall
you know that you killed me
its cold in my room
and at night it gets chilly
I wanna talk
but every time I do my heartstrings in a knot
in getting tired of writing these songs
and day by day 
you wouldn't tell me what's wrong
yeah

(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)
 
(Verse 2: Giovanni)
where am i goin, what do i got 
i feel so lonely, everyone stop
want you to hold me, damn i forgot 
what it was like, i feel distraught 
i let you down and watched you depart
now everything’s loud and i’m caught in the dark
like i’m in the dirt, buried with the worms 
and that is the funniest fuckin part
cause what did we say together
all of those times, that you let me down
tell the words that we sang together
everything’s fine, we’ll be alright 
we’ll fuckin stand in the rain together 
i don’t mean to cry, but why did you lie
remind me again why stayed together 

(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)

Let You Down w/ Giovanni & Ayleen Valentine (boyfifty)

Go Now (feat. Lxst Boy) [prod. Mist3r]

feature: matego // produced by: caps ctrl & xsus

my last goodbye w/ matego (Caps Ctrl & Xsus)

love u @seem_bng
Mixed, Mastered & Produced by: @areyoumatthias
Vocals Mixed by: @kayostarri

lyrics:

im starting to think im worthless
cause my lifes a fucking mess
im just going through these curses
please know im trying my best

you're saying its not as bad as it seems
but i know you'll learn to regret me
i wanna learn to love myself
but im just so fucking ugly, yeah

dropping out, disappointing everyone
try my best to make it up to my mom
do my best, that's what you use to always say
now im falling apart on the brightest day

now im bitchin' 'bout how life ain't fair
got me doubled-down, on my knees, tearing out my hair
got one big, happy family, but im never there
cause no one ever gave a shit, no one ever cared

x2

i want to love myself, but im sO F*CKING UGLY DUDE

i ripped out the pages that reminded me of her
i know that i hate myself don’t need to see the words
i remember i had blamed myself for every time she hurt herself
it happened with the first but with the second it was worse
the deeper cut 
my feet are stuck and sink into the earth
i’ll never be good enough that’s something i have learned
crazy how the coldest person left me with these burns
and then in my time to heal it’s like there’s people taking turns
just to slow down my progress
i convinced myself that everybody is dishonest
i am no exception 
broken hearts and broken promises
follow me
traumatic memories are always haunting me
don’t pick up the blame to pour it onto me
like i always do
i’m not mad at you
because i been moving on and showing gratitude
i been smoking tryna fix my shitty attitude
numbing any feeling in my body through and through
and my memories are lacking any detail so i know that it’s working
i got a woman that i love and treats me better for certain
but the anticipation of finding what’s under the surface
it fucking kills me
but more because she doesn’t deserve it

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

oh the irony
oh the irony
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
(will you die with me)
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
(that's fine with me)
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

please love me, i’m trying my hardest (prod. 4lexf)

not official, just a remix, i really loved this song that rxse made and 
i really wanted to make som to it

official song https://soundcloud.com/feelingmysorrow/two-way-street

@TheMarkerFlipper x @Sorrow - two way street (prod. underwood)

this song means a lot to me,  so hope yall enjoy<3
also last release for a while since ill be super busy
love yall<3

written and performed by: @futoh
mix and mastered by: @futoh
produced by: @boyfifty

lyrics:
i didnt care, you were showing off,
yea no wonder we never blasted off,
you went with him with no care in the world,
but didnt look back to see what had unfurled,
dont look at me with those eyes and those curls,
you were my world,
but now i sit back cause i know that its over,
and through it all, yea i kept my composure,
tried so hard just to work it out, yea,
but you didnt want that,
you needed a reason to leave cause i wasnt special to you, and you got that,
but now that you want that,
what others cant give you,
but hey i was on that,
i gave you the world when you would wake up, 
dont say you forgot that,

(vocalize)

i didnt care, you were showing off,
but now it has come back to haunt me,
wish i could sleep with the ceiling off,
instead the memories surround me,
make it so hard to breath,
my sweat is soaking my sleeve,
i wont lose the fight to my conscious,
the next time she ups and leaves,
beat myself up for no reason,
i know im worth something,
but when im misused i just cant see it,
think im worth nothing,
you used to say i was pure gold,
but now where are you that ive been told,
that you didnt care a bit,
so ill find somewhere my heart will fit

no wonder (prod. boyfifty)

written and performed by: @futoh and @lxstboymusic
mix and mastered by: @futoh and @lxstboymusic
produced by: lean teen
---
first single of my collab album with my good friend Lxst Boy, hope yall enjoy<3
---
lyrics soon.....

four in the morning w/ Lxst Boy (prod. lean teen)

Here to give people something to relate to.

Sleepless Nights Ft Lxst Boy [Heydium]

Senzu ¥

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