I had a friend whose mechanical aptitude was nothing short of sublime 
And when it comes to the physical sciences, he was quite thoroughly versed 
Over drinks he informed me he’d built a device that could transport a person through time 
And he asked if I’d help him to test his invention by taking the risk to be first 

And of course, I agreed, I mean who wouldn’t jump at the chance to revisit the past 
To travel through time like explorers in history, way off the beaten path, way off 
Think of it, you could buy bitcoins for pennies, return with a fortune amassed 
Or you could save 6 million jews from the ovens by killing an infant named Adolph 

I got in the vehicle, strapped on a helmet and made sure that my seat belt was snug 
It smoked and it whirred and it made lots of noises and spun like a carnival ride 
My friend warned me he couldn’t gauge where’d I’d travel to due to a programming bug  
It crashed to the ground and I started inspecting myself to ensure I’d not died 

I opened the hatch and was greeted by hundreds of savages, scantily clad 
It was clearly apparent that one was the leader, I offered my hand, “how are you sir?”  
They raised up their spears in defense of their leader who asked “are you a god, good or bad?”  
I said “i am no god and I mean you no harm, I am a man from the future”.  

At first they seemed welcoming, happy to have me, they asked of the future enthused 
I told them we sit on a seat we call toilet, it carries our waste through a pipe  
That flows to a waste water treatment facility where it is cleaned and reused 
And rather than leaves we have rolls of soft paper we use when we’re done and we wipe 

I told them that we live in houses and don’t sweat in summer nor in winter shiver 
Our heat and light come from electrons, these particles floating that none of us see 
But they thought me a god making promises to them that now I would have to deliver 
And just then, their leader arose and was forcefully speaking directly to me: 

“We want the things you describe, you’re a god, there’s a way you can give us these isn’t there?”
I apologized to him, “I don’t have the knowledge I’d need to build these things for you”. 
But this explanation was not satisfactory, I was then taken as prisoner 
You will build us these lights and these toilets you speak of, we will keep you here until you do 

But I can’t invent electricity even a toilet to me seems complex 
How does the poo and pee move through the pipe for great distances, miles and miles?  
Instead of learning such things I spent all of my free time in bars hunting drunk girls for sex 
I’m just a monkey who pushes down buttons, flips switches, swipes right and turns dials 

So, If you’re given the chance to learn how the world works I suggest you perhaps do 
Don’t be like me and expend all your free time in drinking and other tomfoolery 
I don’t know their customs, I don’t hunt or fish, I’m a prisoner now they throw scraps to 
They’ve taken apart my time travel machine and wear some of the parts like it’s jewelry

TurtleFrogMan

A Modern Monkey In A Time Machine

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

Topics:   Sexual fetishes, reincarnation, sleep apnea, women who don't shave, the story of January 6th 2021, COVID, drug use, pizza place robbery, weddings, divorces and funerals, cannibalism, the story of Joe Biden, transgenderism and pronouns, erectile dysfunction, the World Economic Forum, the story of the USS Indianapolis, time machines, accidents with laxatives, school yard fights, proctologists, teen moms, scientific studies, genital warts, generational divides, national divorce, peeping toms, abortion, petty theft, DIY screws and mental health, suicide etc.

K-HERRING - 1 is a a vet of the Vancouver, B.C. area recording scene.  S.Y.B. is the first solo project after many years in many other projects including....

The Shits, The Toilets, Ego, Drug Evans Experience, This Is NOT Elvis, 
The Wes Project, The Koz  and Security.

Current projects - Scrapping Young Bucks, Doomeastvan,
Ghost of The Enemy

Songs with a twinge of humor (and some a bit more serious).  
I do not use AI to create my songs. 
Recently I have had the urge to pick up my guitars (Taylor 114ce and Fender Squire) and I have been trying to use more guitar in my songs.  
My go to .vst plug ins are  EZkeys 2, EZ Bass and  EZ drummer 3) and my DAW is Logic Pro 11. 
I welcome your comments and enjoy listening to all the great music on SoundCloud. 
All songs are originals and copyrighted.

Promote Your Music HERE!: https://www.fiverr.com/s/YK4zZR

Virga is a singer/bassist/songwriter based in Rome, Italy. On my SoundCloud you can find much of my music. My home Is your home. You're welcome 🎶

1/3 of Hell Feeder  https://soundcloud.com/hell-feeder
AKA Babalon Anon https://soundcloud.com/babalon-anon
https://soundcloud.com/babalon-anon-spoken-word
Additional Audio Tweaking https://soundcloud.com/rexoid-1

Experimenting with rhythm and sampled sounds. 
Moody Industrial grooves and dark soundscapes.
Direct message regarding remixes. 

Reposting:
Dark Ambient, Industrial, Hip Hop, Spoken Word, Trap, Dubstep, Classical, Soundtracks, Ambient, Dark Folk, Future Garage, Hardcore Techno, Drum & Bass, Breakcore, Drumstep, Speedcore, World, Contemporary Classical, Miniatory, Martial, Electro, Electronic, Ska, Dancehall, Electro-Swing, Experimental, Lo-Fi, Soundscapes, Old School Jazz & Blues, Noise, Trip Hop, Rap, Alt Rock, Baroque, Bassweight, Drone, Downtempo, Gypsy Swing, Ritual, Orchestral, Choral, EDM, Dub, 8-Bit, Operatic, Doom Metal, Grime, Afro-House, Chamber, Filth, Krump, Duduk, Bhangra, Breakbeat, Tribal, Mixes, Turntablism, Found Sound, Field Recordings, Post-Rock, Cloud Rap, Gabba, Schranz, Musique Concrète, Hauntology, Mash-Ups, Screwed N' Chopped, Bro-Step, Witch House, Glitch, Ragga, Atmospheric, Cinematic, Chip-Tune, EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena), Piano, Prepared Piano, Lindy Hop, Latin, Plague Wave, Jungle, P-Funk, G-Funk, Jeep Beat, Performance Poetry, Slam Poetry, Storytelling, Podcasts, Moombahton, Reggaeton, Rare Groove, Dungeon, Drill, Big Beat, Modulation, Dream Pop, Drift Phonk, Neo-Classical, Halftime.

"The spectator views that which you have created.
The artist perceives that which you sought to achieve."
Babalon Anon