bruh dont know how this slipped past me..

i love this track i wish i was on with some deep rap

this is so amazing I've listened to it a lot lately its helping me with just counting on myself 

been sitting on this one for like two years now. i hope y'all enjoy it. thank you for all the love & support. i can't even begin to tell you how much i appreciate it. <3

lyrics
--------
i wish i had friends
i wish i had anyone to save me
but i ain’t like them
i’m just a nightmare in the making
i pray that this ends
that the baphomet will take me
away from loose ends
cause i’m not to be forsaken 
maybe it’s a part of me
the anxiety
but the funny thing
is it’s all i can see
& it lies to me
fucking blinding me
when i honestly just

feel like i’m on drugs
even though i don’t even take em
it’s fuckin’ me up
ride these highs to feel complacent
it’s like i’m on drugs
i hide sometimes so i feel safe from
the pain in my gut
yeah it’s fucking me up
feels like i’m on drugs

i should dive in
swim to the surface when i’m stable
let’s skip the pretend
cause this life is not a fable
this story don’t end
till i’m hooked to all these cables
& start to see red
as they lie me on the table
maybe it’s the start of things
something i can’t see
it’s beyond a dream
an advisory
& it lies to me
fucking blinding me
when i honestly just

feel like i’m on drugs
even though i don’t even take em
it’s fuckin’ me up
ride these highs to feel complacent
it’s like i’m on drugs
i hide sometimes so i feel safe from
the pain in my gut
it’s fucking me up
feels like i’m on drugs

somebody wake me
cause life is a daydream
& i’m wasting time with you
so many faces
yeah i’m losing patience
& i’m stuck on loving you

feels like i’m on drugs (x4)

all i can see (prod. nick furlong x tony livadas)

Check Out The Producer:
Soundcloud: @collinsbeats
Youtube: www.youtube.com/c/collinsbeats
Instagram: www.instagram.com/weloveyoucollins/

Lyrics
------------------------------------------------------
It's the infection of all you love
Don't let it take you down or else you're giving up
Just feel the tension like it's in your lungs
And let the oxygen be gone again as the water rises up

And I thought maybe I could be better again
Tearing me down while I'm losing my friend
I'm hitting you up while you left me on read
But I don't need your help when I'm dead in the end
Maybe I could be better again
Smoking too much while I'm losing my head
You're kicking me down while I'm still on the fence
Indecision incisions to this very breath

Counting the seconds at night
If I survive, I'd be the greatest alive
Taking my chances like dice
If I don't roll sixes I won't have my chances to try
Screaming confessions of fright
I'm scared of the future why won't you just give me a sign
How can I tell if she lies?
I couldn't lose her but all I'm getting is snake eyes

I fall apart in the moment
I feel the rift and it's growing
Creating the waves
But I don't know where they're flowing
Rocking the boat and I'm hoping
That I don't sink in the ocean
Shout I'm okay
While in the middle of choking

And I brought it all on myself
I'm telling you I don't need help
And why are you listening
I'm the one withering living a shell
What left do I have to tell
I'm acting vampiric
While writing out lyrics
I ain't seen the sun in a week
While you ask if I'm well

And I'm trapped between my head and DMs
Like D&D it's all just pretend
And sure I can swim
But I've just been thrown in in the deep end
I'm not last to feel this feeling again
But all I see is see my own end
I'm not one to live
But I just keep, keep on dreaming

Maybe I could be better again
Tearing me down while I'm losing my friend
I'm hitting you up while you left me on read
But I don't need your help when I'm dead in the end
Maybe I could be better again
Smoking too much while I'm losing my head
You're kicking me down while I'm still on the fence
Indecision incisions to this very breath

Counting the seconds at night
If I survive, I'd be the greatest alive
Taking my chances like dice
If I don't roll sixes I won't have my chances to try
Screaming confessions of fright
I'm scared of the future why won't you just give me a sign
How can I tell if she lies?
I couldn't lose her but all I'm getting is snake eyes

Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes [Prod. Collins]

if i die baby (prod. reaper)

Special thanks to https://www.instagram.com/fallingap.art/ for the artwork on this <3
https://twitter.com/sayygoodbyye
https://soundcloud.com/goodbyye

Lyrics:
Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

Writing this letter so I could say
Dearest friend I hope you'll be okay
Think about you each and every day
I'm still wishing that you could've stayed
Want you to know that I'm broken
Hear the words that were never spoken
I was fine until I was awoken
A heart is so fragile when it's stolen

Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

So I'll write this note and then I'll burn it
Let the smoke carry up the words and turn it
To a message from below so you learn it
Thought I wanted death before but now I yearn it
I know you want to go
Please stay I'll be alone
If you leave from this home
Don't go out in the cold

Don't go out in the snow

Please don't leave me alone

I don't want you to go

Please don't leave me alone

why'd you have to go

[produced by kenny x ninetyseven]

always love studio days with @gyzalofi , go show him love!! i'm hoping to put this on spotify very soon.

spotify

up for days (feat. ninetyseven)

A pill for the issues
But it doesn’t fix them
Slows me down, turns my frown
Doesn’t save my brainstem

Do not wanna breathe no more
I’ve seen it all, I took the tour
World not made for me, I’m sure
Recycle me, when you abhor

Happy inconceivable
But they think it’s believable
I’m riding in a vehicle
My body what I’m seeing through

Bars and bars, I'm in a cell
Walk around and no one tell
Smoke and smoke, I try and feel
This girls my Achilles heel

Fuck this and fuck you
Feelings I’m used to
Always find new hue
Tear my heart right through

I’m never enough
And I swear you’re giving up
Thought you had me handcuffed
But you really just bluffed

Can only count on yourself
To be there, when no one else
Gives a fuck about your health
And only want your wealth

A pill for the issues
But it doesn’t fix them
Slows me down, and turns my frown
Doesn’t save my brainstem

Do not wanna breathe no more
I’ve seen it all, I took the tour
World not made for me, I’m sure
Recycle me, when you abhor

Don’t ask me for a feature and don’t say I’m “blowing up”
All I hear through that is that I think I’m not enough
Harder than I’ve ever worked and going till it’s up
Til the day the dark consumes me, I’m a diamond in the rough

Don’t call me your friend if not
Shock to me measured in watt
Fake your love for me, allot
And don’t think I ever forgot

After everything I say
Please just stay the fuck away
Cannot take another day
While my brain cells all decay

Nothing handed out for free
Gotta act responsibly
Made a plan out to a tee
But they claim that it’s “destiny”

Sick of this like nicotine
Thought we would be evergreen
Burn away with kerosene
In afterlife, we’ll reconvene

A pill for the issues
But it doesn’t fix them
Slows me down, turns my frown
Doesn’t save my brainstem

Do not wanna breathe no more
I’ve seen it all, I took the tour
World not made for me, I’m sure
Recycle me, when you abhor

follow fiftysix

turns my frown (prod. fiftysix)

https://soundcloud.com/lilsadeyes


https://soundcloud.com/montydatta

I’m drowning I can see the ark 
Sky opens up, world falls apart 
Da da da da da da da
Da da da da
I’m
Rocking all black strings on an old guitar 
With my all black jeans and my all black heart
Da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da

Put me in an all white room and bind my hands
Tell me I’m no good till I understand but
Your demands mean nothing 
I need a Zoloft lil to even feel something 
Put me on a red eye flight and I’ll leave it all as you wave goodbye
She asking where the time goes 
Girl you might as well be asking why the wind blows 
But you see me through these all black windows 
Chilling with the sharks while you swimming with the minnows 
And I’m sorry but I chose my fate 
Big fish ‘round town done being the bait
It’s weighing on my all black lungs
But yours always right so I’ll hold me tounge
Got an all black soul with an all black prayer
I’m the all black sheep with the all black stars 

Hook 

Ripped black jeans and tears from sad eyes
I guess I’m alright I guess I’ll be fine 
I guess I’m real stressed I’m
Best when offline
Cause I suffocate when I talk to you 
It sucks to feel like you don’t want to choose 
I choke so bad my face turns blue 
My heart’s gone dark from loving you 
I won’t speak cause you won’t listen 
You’re my cure but we’ve been distant 
You’re too cute and that’s too bad cause 
Love won’t clean this mess I have 
I’m over love but I’m not over us 
Im over love but I’m not over us

World Falls Apart - Ft Sadeyes Prod. Monty Datta

First date two am and again I’m 
Wondering if this is even real? What is this
She’s, super cool and she’s into all this 
Weird shit  that I love, that no one ever is but
I can tell she’s a sad one 
But she’s the kind of girl that wouldn’t cry to dad if she had one 
Grew up rough on some tough love hits 18 
And there really ain’t nobody else to speak of 
And now she’s rolling with a reject
And I know my time’s short but she doesn’t want to leave yet
Roll it up hit the porch and of course 
When the smoke clears out all we really have are regrets
All we really had were secrets 
And I don’t know about the hole in my defense 
It’s all good let’s dispense with the pretense 
You don’t have to say it girl I know That you’re leaving 

Cause I don’t believe it when 
You say you’re happy 
How could you be 
When you cry all the time?
Maybe One day we’ll learn 
To cry while we’re laughing 
So maybe we 
We won’t 
Have to get high all the time 

First things first, I’m the worst and I know that 
Just your birthday curse that’s a throwback 
I ruin everything and you know that 
I’m the saddest motherfucker on this earth like I’m Bojack 
Black lungs white sky oh why can’t?
I just be free without a vivance 
When I ask for love I get silence 
As you go and hide behind eyelids
Just go to sleep I’ll be right back
Don’t you know that you’re all I have
Just breath she says it’s not that bad
You know I hate when you talk like that
Let me break and I’ll be done
I know you hate what I’ve become
With everything that I’ve been through
I just can’t be what you want me to 

Turns out I’m a problem unsolvable
Nausea from the toxins the bad son prodigal
Now I’m reaching for top it's improbable 
The way I got here turning thoughts into audibles
Turning art into an audience 
Against my haters judgement and against my own common sense 
Now I’m getting played in all the provinces 
Cause every time I hop up on the beat I fucking body it 

Cause I don’t believe it 
When you say that you're happy
How could you be
When we’re dying inside?
Maybe one day 
We’ll learn to cry while we’re laughing
So maybe we won't
Have to get high all the time
Cause I don’t believe it when 
You say you’re happy 
How could you be 
When you cry all the time?
One day we’ll learn 
To cry while we’re laughing 
So maybe we won’t 
Have to get high all the time

Cry While We're Laughing

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

turns my frown (prod. fiftysix)

two:22

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