I am hurt and heartbroken.... </3

spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/5l387AHxfANLuAiXlKgPIU?si=5cfff772f37b403f

prod. iceboi

lyrics:

{chorus 2x}
4pm im looking out the window
tryna find a reason what im doing
I used to do everything just for you
Now all I do is fucking ignore you
Because you hurt me so many times

{bridge}
**happy noises*

{verse}
And you never showed me any signs
That you still love the devil inside of me
And I ask myself what you provided me?
He got me on my knees, trying not to lose
But now the only person who lost is you
But in the end I can only say, I miss you
I want your love, tryna go clean
I was his queen, and he was my screen
There was, never no love, behind the computer screen
And I feel so fooled, I will never give myself through
Again I feel so dead, its, all in my head
And I cant even go, one minute without you 

{chorus 2x}
4pm im looking out the window
tryna find a reason what im doing
I used to do everything just for you
Now all I do is fucking ignore you
Because you hurt me so many times

{bridge}
**happy noises*

{verse}
I dont wanna fight
I dont wanna text
You are not in the right
I hope you fall next
I am not fine
You killed me all inside
You kept me as a side 
All the time

heartbroken (prod. iceboi)

thanks a lot to @soulvanishh for the feature, I had fun working on this, and thanks to everyone for listening to my music, I love you guys! 

spotify <3 - https://open.spotify.com/track/6qkOZg53h919tA9zrE1LaY?si=1580fd0033384646 

prod. iceboi

cover by k1baru (www.instagram.com/k1baru)

lyrics:
[chorus]
I have so many questions that I wanna ask
But I am not sure if you even wanna talk
One more time, I want to feel better
I still wear your sweater
Did you already forgot about me?
I know am not the same person I was when you met me
It's true because I changed for you 
I am hanging on by a thread, and you fuck someone else
You left me in despair, left me in an affair
You cheated on me this whole time

[verse]
(soulvanish)

[chorus]
I have so many questions that I wanna ask
But I am not sure if you even wanna talk
One more time, I want to feel better
I still wear your sweater
Did you already forgot about me?
I know am not the same person I was when you met me
It's true because I changed for you 
I am hanging on by a thread, and you fuck someone else
You left me in despair, left me in an affair
You cheated on me this whole time

[verse] sorry I recorded this drunk xD
I been in my car, it's you and me
You are the one that I see when I sleep
Then I woke up it's just a dream
Yeah I know I'm fucked up
I'm such a freak
Going on the ground, let me on my knees
Do you still love me?
Yeah I dont look
Because you betrayed me so many times
And I cant ever imagine a future that I will have with you
And I hope you remember that 
You were the only one 
Who caused trauma on yourself
Yeah I hope you remember that
Because you make me feel like shit
And I take drugs just because of you

betrayal (ft. soulvanish)

*Smoking stogies*
Hate my life 
Wanna end it again
Got my knife 
Time to slice it again 
I hate you 
Yeah she just wanna be freinds 
In my room
Wanna end it again 
All the shit you said to me 
I know you was make believe 
Yeah she fucking broke my heart 
I got tears all over my sleeve 
I’m sorry I hurt you 
Yeah I hurt me 
Pop a fucking percy now I’m swerving
X2

Yea I miss you 
I have to admit I got issues 
Yeah I’ve been up all night crying I need some tissues 
Girl when im with you 
Girl when im with you 
Popped a xan I need to to 
Yeah yeah I need to
Your not god
You don’t bleed
Yeah you fuck with me 
I know that you can see me 
I know that you see me 
I know you wanna be me 
I know you wanna be me 
You gon see me up
Ona tv


*Niqbo*
Where did u go last night baby 
I don’t belong you 
All the wrongs you do
Do it despite the truth
I never thought I’d fall for you 
Wasn’t the same anymore 
I let you walk out the door 
You were the one I adored 
I guess I can’t ignore 
Something I can’t ignore 
Bleeding on the floor 
You said your wide awake 
and you need me
Baby where did you go did you see me
Stuck on the wrong side
Why did you use me 
Thicker than blood we were family 
I told you that I’d kill for you 
Thought about you all the time 
Baby I’m drowning 
Accusing me of things that are pointless 

*9arardox*
Watch me thru the tv screen 
yea i can tell u wanna be like me 
but you not a freak like me 
creepin thru the streets nightly 
all these kids tryna be like us 
In the cut we lighting blunts 
my clique do not wait in line we VIP straight to the front 
watch the club lights shine up on my body  
i could show you how to live life like a zombii 
everything i do yea these kids try to copy 
when im out in public feels like everybody watching 
everybody watching, all the voices talking
i can hear the noises almost anywhere im walking 
9aradox hop on stage go crazy 
i jus got one question why does everybody hate me? 
im wit stogie in the cut 
hating in my comments idrgaf 
Play another show im making everybody jump 
hop up in the pit n everybody goin dumb 
yuh yuh yuh everybody goin stupid 
up in the club they all dance to our music 
me n niqbo at the rave like woah, 
all the emos go to our show 
omg like rawr xD u watch me on ur tv screen 
im like xD lol ik u wanna be like me 
you wanna be like me, you not a freak like me 
you tryna copy all my swag yea tht shit has me weak

YOU THOUGHT ID KILL FOR YOU? FT SMOKING STOGIES & 9ARADOX *prod stogie

I again had a lot of fun making this and expressing my feelings, hope you all like it and thanks to @m1v for the beat! <3

spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/1KesEFxQeIQ4aU8DNCUvrC?si=43b144b9374e42aa

prod. @m1v
cover by k1baru - https://www.instagram.com/k1baru/
amv by newtella: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK0A_EPKy7I
amv on PARADOX AMVs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErFEmPFz_sE

lyrics:

intro (newtella):
Until one day, the wind ceases to blow
I fall and I fall and fall, and fall even more
Gentle as a feather
A dry quill, expressionless

verse:
Why did you leave me all behind
When I needed you the most?
Do you even care what you lost?
Do you really think you will find
Something so so fine 
That will make you seem less grime
I will climb, and find, this one reason
Why I'm alive, let it ease in
I loved you when you left me
I just wish you kept me
Honestly I dont even like
The way things are now
Anyhow you think it is fine
Or do think its a sign?

pre-bridge:
My life is dreamlike 
(Yeah it's dreamlike)
I hate that I'm alive
(I dont wanna be alone)
So alone...
I just wish I knew what you were
Feeling way before

bridge: 
**happy noises** °^°

verse:
I think I know when you said I'm your star
But now you left me all behind, is it so far?
I dont know what to say to you
But I think I lost it all
And its not because of me
Youre the one who blew 
This relationship to the end
Are you sure youre the one to amend?
Because I think youre rotten from the inside
Like you killed me on sight
I told you I dont even wanna fight
I saw the light flashing front of me

farewell (prod. m1v)

happy new year, praying for 2023 to be better and more enjoyable again! <3

mixed/mastered by me
prod. rottenspirit

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/3Bas5FqqoKEXyeVJEwtJXU?si=bb1fe881003a4ceb

lyrics:
(intro:  Re Zero)
"Deep down inside
At the core of my heart
I'm just a small cowardly filthy piece of trash
Who's always worried about how other see me
How they'll accept or judge me
And nothing...
NOTHING ABOUT ME HAS CHANGED"

(chorus)
I am so stuck up in this time
I've been numb this whole year
I cannot hear your voice
And it was all your choice
You call me angry
When I'm just upset
Frankly, I sweat, I cannot forget you
We're on our own ways
You're in my head as always
You threw me to the ground
I was just crying front of you
We were not meant to be
I feel like you, thought I was a game
You found me lonely in a stage
Of agony, I hate you

(bridge: Re Zero)
I absolutely hate myself.

(verse)
Oh this fantasy, of you and me, 
it's so gone
Will you ever knock, on my door 
to say you are sorry
But this is just a dream
I cherished you
And you just buried me
Can you feel this fire inside ur heart?
You lied to me when you said you didn't love me
Now you got your heart broken one more time
And I can see everything aside of you
Call me crazy, I am just obsessed

(chorus)
I am so stuck up in this time
I've been numb this whole year
I cannot hear your voice
And it was all your choice
You call me angry
When I'm just upset
Frankly, I sweat, I cannot forget you
We're on our own ways
You're in my head as always
You threw me to the ground
I was just crying front of you
We were not meant to be
I feel like you, thought I was a game
You found me lonely in a stage
Of agony, I hate you

purgatory (prod. rottenspirit)

Vampire Knight [plxce]

@buhguulluv

sharp knife u gon get a deep cut
thats right we b spilling all ur guts
long nights so u better stay up
dont hide u gon get ur throat cut
x2

yea i got him running
running running running
oh he running for his life
he dont know yea i caught em at the red light
yea he beggin beggin beggin for his life
masked up like im ghostface
u will die i dont care if its broad day
slice u up now u looking like a ghost face
hunt u down yea u boutta get erased

sharp knife u gon get a deep cut
thats right we b spilling all ur guts
long nights so u better stay up
dont hide u gon get ur throat cut
x2

blood on the floor
kills i need more
talk get ignored
stabbed in the core
x2

sharp knife u gon get a deep cut
thats right we b spilling all ur guts
long nights so u better stay up
dont hide u gon get ur throat cut
x2

scream [buhguul]

like a love song [money kidd]

rip my shirt
take off yo skirt
run a blade across my face
baby thats how i flirt
undress 4 me
dont ignore me
u can fuck me then ditch me [2x]

she told me i cant live up to my word
but then i fucked her so good
and i proved my worth
lay down 4 me
know ur obsessed
she whispers in my ear
that shes fucking wet [2x]

rip my shirt
take off yo skirt
run a blade across my face
baby thats how i flirt
undress 4 me
dont ignore me
u can fuck me then ditch me [2x]

@1lav:

she wants my love
she wants my heart
she wants me to be all hers
so she cuts me up
i'm out of luck
she wants me dead
she thinks i'm cheating but its all in her head

i cannot go on
my feelings pain and sorrow
i'm so fucked up, now i'm solo
that bitch spamming my damn phone
i cannot go on
my feelings pain and sorrow
i'm so fucked up, now i'm solo
that bitch spamming my damn phone

##RIPMYSHIRT

##RIPMYSHIRT FT LAVENDR PROD ILYBEAM

featuring https://soundcloud.com/hoshiestar
prod https://soundcloud.com/omgartixan

She only finds interest while she getting wasted (huh)
And I'm thinking bout all the fucking time I had to wait then

I'll take another, no reason to cuff her
For the rave I'ma take her out the suburbs
Watching cars pass on the edge of the gutter
When she stay the night, she spread it out like it's butter

Yeah we stay up all night yeah we on mario party
Yeah we download play we connect to the lobby
And she want my paste but I just want a copy
And the two of us pair like we're walkie talkies

Like we're walkie talkies
What you doing walking with a bag of takis?
And i don't see a reason why you should love me
Realize I'm a star and I'm feeling like I'm hoshie

And I only have interest
In all the drugs that I ingest
And I know that it doesn’t serve a purpose
But tonight I'ma see if it's worth it

I tried to take her to the top
I tried to put her on
There's some work I gotta do
But I'ma put it off
Designer all up on my fit
You know I put it on
Live my life like its a role
You know I took it on

She only finds interest while she getting wasted (huh)
And I'm thinking bout all the fucking time I had to wait then

And yea we got too drunk another passed out on the pavement
And no one was in the right state of mind to say it
And there's been days I thought of going faceless
But I want to hear people scream my name and say it

Stay inside and bleed
I just wanna be me
And I just wanna feel free
But she begging on her knees

And she only find interest while she's getting wasted (huh)
And I'm thinking bout all the fucking time I had to wait then, huh

heartbroken (prod. iceboi)

uglyhappiness

Recent comments

Peters‏‏‎

･ﾟ✧NOKERB✧･ﾟ

Blospar

Demon

Related tracks

heartbroken (prod. iceboi)

uglyhappiness

Recent comments

Peters‏‏‎

･ﾟ✧*NOKERB*✧･ﾟ

Blospar

Demon

Related tracks

･ﾟ✧NOKERB✧･ﾟ