Lyrics

I fucked up again, that's on me
I feel lost can't find nobody
That could understand my thoughts
I hate my mind, can't turn it off

I don't wanna run but I don't know if I can take this
I am not the one, I got lost in the matrix
Inside not okay but on the outside I can fake it
See my silver cord, I don't want it, I'ma break it

Fly away, I can feel my wings now
Why does every body only want me when I leave out?
I can now be seen by all the things that I can see now
Faces are grotesque, auras of darkness

Where do I go when I'm trapped in the open
By souls that are broken and only are hopeless?
I can't take the weight of my spiritual makeup
I've called God since 2014 and I still feel like he ain't fucking heard me

Where do I go?

Where do I go? I don't fucking know, never really did
When I'm a ghost, I won't fucking know, I won't even exist
I can't even tell now if I really am alive
I been thinking shit like this since I was in grade 5

L O S E & R, I'm a loser
D E P R E & double S, I O N user
My connection with this fucking world is getting looser
My progression in this life is not a thing I'm too sure (x2)

2014.

Lyrics

I can do a lot with this microphone and my thoughts
For 5 whole years I only took a couple nights off
And every time I did I met a new demon to fight off
Safe to say I learned my lesson, all I see now is progression

I don't focus on the path ahead
I been making my own sometimes don't know where to step
So sometimes I fall through, don't know where to run to
Relapse or rewind that's what I'm never gone do

You could never fathom what I feel
I'm the only me so only I know what it is
Not saying I'm special but I got a head full
Of memories I only that I went through

Truthfully all of our lives are a lie
We all wake up choose who to be just to survive
The real you is the farthest from who you are
If you take off that mask you won't know who you are

Neither would I, I'm scared of what's inside
Of this head full of thoughts that I always will hide
I barely cry cause I wasted so many tears
With the time that I did could of moved on from it

I'm a wizard, I spell out these words
Spit a verse like it's magic but some are a curse
Turn something tragic to something that's worse
Now I watch what I say cause these vibrations lurk

You could never fathom what I feel
I'm the only me so only I know what it is
Not saying I'm special but I got a head full
Of memories I only that I went through

Truthfully all of our lives are a lie
We all wake up choose who to be just to survive
The real you is the farthest from who you are
If you take off that mask you won't know who you are

Find my mind when I'm losing it, havoc I'm fluent in
Told me don't do it, I'm doing it
This beat is a drug, I'm abusing it
I don't like talking to people, I'm threw with it

I sit in front a screen just screaming
Sat in the back of class just dreaming
'Member you laughin at what I believed in
Don't come to me actin like I was believed in

truthfully.

finally was able to access my old laptop and here are some songs i'd like to share

wired.

vanished. (2021)

Produced by abysswa1ker

Lyrics

You don't know what you meant to me
I don't think I meant shit to you cause you hurt me so simply
I said you were meant for me and you said that's so dumb of me
You're my missing puzzle piece, don't waste yo time tryna run from me

You told me to be myself, now you say I'm scaring you
You lied through your teeth with every breath
Said "Ken, I'll be there for you"
You lied, I called, you didn't pick up, I hope that you hear this

You don't know what you meant to me
I don't think I meant shit to you cause you hurt me so simply
Look at what you did to us, look at what you did to me
I would take a bullet for you, you wouldn't take a hit for me

I don't wanna make plans, I want my history
I thought you were the best I had but you were just a bitch to me
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO US, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME

LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME

Look at what you did to us, look at what you did to me, look at what you did to us

You don't know what you meant to me
I don't think I meant shit to you cause you hurt me so simply
I said you were meant for me and you said that's so dumb of me
You're my missing puzzle piece, don't waste yo time tryna run from me

You don't know what you meant to me
I don't think I meant shit to you cause you hurt me so simply
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO US, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME

pessimistic playlist.

Produced by diemadeway x krovarxiv

Lyrics

Said every word that I possibly can
Guess that I won't ever heal and I tried to be good but I really don't think that I can

"ken, i fucking hate you"

I don't care about shit, they don't care about ken
She told me she got a man but I'm still in her pants, like bitch I don't care about him

Honestly I don't even care about her
Made up my mind but I'm still not sure
My only opp myself, might off myself
Fuck around put myself on a shirt

Can't get better but I can get worse
I done tried everything, still ain't work
I ain't even hurting no more, just god damn numb
I don't know what I've become

I don't what I am, I don't know what I should do
It don't matter which way I go, I'ma be wrong with whatever I choose
I guess somebody's gotta fail and I guess that it's gonna be me
I never even felt real, I don't really care if I leave

You ain't gotta act like you care about me, I ain't gone act like I care about you
This ain't an act, I don't care about streams
This where I go when I don't know what to do
Not a performer, I do not care what you think about me cause I am what I am

I watched a movie and tattooed "detmer, garrett" on my arm

There ain't shit you could say that could cause me harm
I made a halo out of my horns
Already told you it's darker than black
I ain't stuck in the rain, bitch I'm stuck in a storm

Every line, no lie
I'm not alive, I'm just waiting to die
Death is the ticket I'm waiting to buy
Don't even ask, I ain't telling you why

Heartbroken harmony, why she ain't calling me?
My love life kinda like the economy, I need a lot but I ain't got enough
Tried to move on but I think I'm stuck
You is not her, I don't want your love
Told me you cared but I called your bluff
I wasn't worth it, I'm not enough

Clock keep spinnin' but I'm stuck in place
Wish I could vanish and leave no trace
Hurting inside but a smile on my face
No one knows what I hold inside
I don't like my head, want a hole in mine
I need a hand, can you hold mine?
You been the problem the whole time

heartbroken harmony.

Produced by jeweler

Lyrics

I know I'm alone but I learn how to cope with it
I won't ever know how it feels to be close with them
I know what I am and I know that they won't like it
I know I won't go but it'd be cool to be invited

Something evil in my soul and I don't wanna fight
I reside in shadows, I don't like it where the light hit
You just think it's darkness, I can see it's vibrance
I gave her my heart, she ran away and I can't find it

I'm a fucking joke, I ain't nothing but a loser
They tell me choose life but they don't know that that mean choose her
Don't call me an angel, I am not a savior
Look at my behavior, I think that I'm the danger

I know I'm alone, I learn how to cope though
I know you won't call, I'm still staring at my phone though
Standing in my yard, wanna smash my phone on the rocks I'm standing on
Fuck this cliff I'm standing on

*auditory agony*

Something evil in my soul and I don't wanna fight
I reside in shadows, I don't like it where the light hit
You just think it's darkness, I can see it's vibrance
I gave her my heart, she ran away and I can't find it

I'm a fucking joke, I ain't nothing but a loser
They tell me choose life but they don't know that that mean choose her
Don't call me an angel, I am not a savior
Look at my behavior, I think that I'm the danger

cheerless composer.

Produced by vertigo x centrlx

Lyrics

Know what I should do, know right from wrong but I can't do it though
You still got my number, you could call but you won't do it though
I hold on so tight, I should let go but I won't do it though
They think I'm a villain but I'm not, I'm like magneto

I guess I was wrong cause girl I thought you were my only
I'm so fucking cold, I know you know but you won't hold me
Fuck opening up, that shit's a joke cause you don't know me
You don't speak my language, you don't know my coding

All I feel is anguish, feel like I'm corroding
Nothing could extinguish all the flames when I'm exploding
I'm on a new level, I think you're still loading
Im not saying that I'm better, I'm already where you're going

I can't let you stop me, I cannot let you delay me
Please don't waste yo time, I'm out my mind & you can't change me
Girl, I appreciate the fact you tried but you can't save me
I never wanted to leave june in july but now you hate me

Know what I should do, know right from wrong but I can't do it though
You still got my number, you could call but you won't do it though
I hold on so tight, I should let go but I won't do it though
They think I'm a villain but I'm not, I'm like magneto

I guess I was wrong cause girl I thought you were my only
I'm so fucking cold, I know you know but you won't hold me
Fuck opening up, that shit's a joke cause you don't know me
You don't speak my language, you don't know my coding

bitter ballad.

Produced by luffy

Lyrics

No one ever told me it could get this dark down here
I don't get it, I don't understand, I don't know why I'm here
I learn all these things about what it means to be alive but I don't ever feel alive

I got colors on the palette for some reason I can't paint it
I lost what I had then, what it was I can't explain it
I'm not what you want but I need what you are
I got all these thoughts but I can't see what they are

I'm a corpse of who I was, I'm just a ghost, I'm a nobody
Waking up feel forced, I'm fucking stuck, this ain't a hobby
Tried to let it go but they told me that they own me
Wrong is where I go, I'm not alive, I'm just a zombie

I got something in my soul that I can't get out anymore
I used to be sure but I'm not so sure anymore
I miss who I was but I can't be him anymore
I don't wanna do this, not again, not anymore

Because no one ever told me it could get this dark down here
I don't get it, I don't understand, I don't know why I'm here
I learn all these things about what it means to be alive but I don't ever feel alive

Told her I would follow her through any door
Then she said, "I don't love you anymore"
She ain't stab me in my back with a knife, she used a sword
Everything I feel is black, I don't see color anymore

I think I'm drowning, can somebody help me?
I don't think I meant for the dreams I'm always having
They'll always be dreams and I'll always have to wake up
Always have to clock in and always wear this make up

Make you think I'm okay cause you could never save me anyway
Reminisce on old days cause I won't ever feel happy any day

trauma tempo.

Patek Pocketwatches

HAZARD ZONE. CHEMICAL CHAOS. A high-speed descent into toxic oblivion. "TOXIC WASTE" hits like a corrosive chemical spill—fast, dangerous, and leaving destruction in its wake. The synths are dizzying and high-pitched, contrasting with a thick, murky bassline, creating a feeling of intoxicated frenzy. The flow is an unrelenting stream of consciousness, a warning sign to anyone who dares to approach. You've been exposed. There is no cure.

cheerless composer.

unknxwn.