the lie we live.

finally was able to access my old laptop and here are some songs i'd like to share

cyclone.

@xweepings

Produced by R3DQX x luffy

Lyrics

| unknxwn. |

I told you I wouldn't leave, you told me, you wanna go
All those flags that I would see, didn't wanna believe, I didn't know
I was so caught up in my own pathetic lil world didn't care bout yours
Or maybe I did and you just told me how I was shit till that was the only

Way that I could see myself, I don't think I can be helped now
All that I wanted was death, I'm tryna get back my breathe now
I know I say some things that could be taken the wrong way
If you could see in my brain, prolly would take it the wrong way

Cause I know that I'm different, most people wouldn't get it
I don't care bout an image, I care bout what I'm feeling
Even if I say I don't, even if I make myself believe
That death is what I really want cause I'm still here tryna live my dream

But I'm stuck in a nightmare and I don't really like it
I don't wanna go fight fear so I just fucking hide it
Nothing but this music really gets me excited
I'll choose this over you and I don't care if you don't like it

Cause this is all I had when I was on the brink back then
With everything that happened, my music was my bandage
My music was my savior whenever there was danger
There ain't nothing safer, not even my maker

| weepings |

I would choose music over her in a second
I'm scared of my dreams but each day they still beckon
I got a voice that I use as a weapon
I take all my pain and turn that to a record
Got many addictions I'd rather not mention
I struggle each day just to pick up the pencil
I don't wanna run from my own potential
At war with myself I constantly wrestle

Look up in the mirror; I don't know that face no more
Clear liquor gone burn my fate, still pour
Got a pain in my gut but I still ignore
Sure it's clear as day but at night need more
When I lost you, lost a piece of myself
Never thought you was the type to bring hell
Now I'm going back to school
Feels like a white flag but does not conclude this shit

weepings & unknxwn. - not even.

Produced by flower x 5head

This song reflects a deep struggle with boundaries, emotional exhaustion, and the tension between loving someone and being drained by them. It captures the weight of giving so much of yourself that you lose your ability to thrive. From a faith-based perspective, this song could serve as a testimony of learning to set healthy boundaries and entrusting both yourself and others to God’s care.

Loving Without Losing Yourself:

“I love you to death but I can’t let you take my fire.”

This lyric shows the tension of loving someone while recognizing the harm that relationship is causing. The Bible calls us to love others as ourselves, not at the expense of ourselves.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

Recognizing Emotional Draining Relationships:

“What is the point of this if I’m keeping you alive but I can’t live?”

This line captures the one-sided nature of a draining relationship. The Bible encourages us to help others but also to be wise stewards of our energy and resources.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“Each one should test their own actions.” (Galatians 6:4)

Turning to God in Despair:

“When they thought I would fall, I said ‘Dear Heavenly Father.’”

This is a powerful declaration of faith in the face of challenges. Even in moments of emotional exhaustion, you’re turning to God as your source of strength.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

The “Sinkhole” and Spiritual Warfare:

“Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you’re getting stronger.”

This reflects a recurring battle with darkness, whether external or internal. The Bible reminds us that spiritual warfare is real but God equips us to overcome it.

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Lyrics

You asked for help, out of love I did and then I got fucked
And I won't help again, so please don't ask again
What is the point of this if I'm keeping you alive but I can't live?
And you may not even know but you're still a vampire, I love you to death but I can't let you take my fire

I been getting colder tryna make you warmer
You're the elephant inside the room, I'm in a corner
Tryna hold it in ain't making me no calmer
Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you're getting stronger

And it seems you're getting smarter
Tryna figure out where you reside is getting harder
I been keeping close some things I should be keeping farther
When they thought I would fall, I said "Dear Heavenly Father"

You asked for help, out of love I did and then I got fucked
And I won't help again, so please don't ask again
What is the point of this if I'm keeping you alive but I can't live?
And you may not even know but you're still a vampire, I love you to death but I can't let you take my fire

I been getting colder tryna make you warmer
You're the elephant inside the room, I'm in a corner
Tryna hold it in ain't making me no calmer
Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you're getting stronger

the moment the pit in my stomach becomes a sinkhole.

Produced by kledyy

Lyrics

I opened up my chest, laid it bare for you
I pulled out my heart, something I never do
I scraped out the pain, every secret, every scar
I was hoping that you’d see me but you always stayed so far

I gave you the pieces, every single one with care
I was hoping that you’d hold them but you just left them there
I poured out my soul, let you see it all
But you never even caught me when I began to fall

I scraped it clean, down to the core
Gave you the love I’d never shown before
But you turned away, left me bleeding out
Now I’m hollow inside and I'm filled with doubt
I gave you my heart, every piece that I could
But you never would love me in the way that I thought that you would

You were the light I reached for in the dark
The warmth that I chased to mend my broken heart
I showed you all of the places I hide
The ghost of my past that I kept deep inside

Now there's nothing left but an empty space
Echoes of a love that time itself won't ever erase

i've scraped my heart clean to give you everything i possibly could.

Produced by racky

Lyrics

Quenching my thirst with a poison, no wonder I keep heading back, I ain't know it was that
But I'm at point where I been here for so damn long, even though I know, I'ma go back
Cause that's all I know, if I stop then that means I'ma have to restart and that's so fucking hard
And I wanna be comfortable even if comfort is killing me, cause at one point what it meant to me

Was more than anything, if I know anything, I know I'll find her
She'll never get away, tried to get away, I was right there behind her
Baby please don't be afraid, that man of yours, he was in the way
Got him out the way, lets get away, we need to get away, they tryna find me

You hear those sirens? They getting closer, I can see all of the colors
You gotta make a decision right now, come be with me or you'll be another
Body I give back to the earth and we all gotta die but I swear you'll be first
I know I said you got a decision, this ain't a debate, if you choose the wrong one, meet your fate

Don't walk out that door if you don't wanna see what's out there
Baby I'm the only one who's out here
It's funny, there's 8 billion people in the world
But we're the only 2 in this specific part of it, no stopping this

You ain't wanna choose me, I'ma choose for you
I'll take us out this world and there ain't nothing that you could do
To stop it at all, you could of been involved with me some more
You gave me just a taste of your love but I needed more

All I was, was honest, you were so dishonest with me
The heart I gave was real but you just gave a copy to me
We could of avoided this if you just weren't so sloppy to me
You stepped all over me and now I got your blood on my feet

I see your blood on the floor
It's sad that all of that lead to this
Like what was it for? I guess that we'll never know
Guess that we'll never know

the heart i gave was real but you just gave a copy to me.

every step that i take
every breath that i waste
every second awake
is a debt i will pay
every drop that i bleed
is a blessing from me 
i dont mean anything
im a curse to set free

curse (branwen)

No way out…

The_Fraternal_Order_of_the_Matsons_Lodge_219

COMFORTABLY NUMB

lyrics:

Disappointing disappointment death I need an appointment
Life is pointless scream into to the mic until I go voiceless
Overthinking situations till I start to hear voices
My music is a medicine I make from the poison

That intoxicates every single part of me
They said it was a phase but it seems like its a part of me
Only way that I escape, is the drugs that take a part of me
Away from me, the sadness goes away but it takes away the heart of me

So its hard for me, to give back all the love that you would offer me
If it didn't hurt my mom, I would off me
Put myself into a coffin where I oughta be
Yeah thats where I rather be

I'm too weak, life is too much, all this fuck stuff
In two weeks, I'll be heldback, school is rough bruh
I'm amounting to the things that they said I'd be
If you asked them to describe me they'd say "dead to me"

I'm dead to me too, so they're right next to me
Fallin' through a void and there aint nobody catching me