finally was able to access my old laptop and here are some songs i'd like to share

ruin. | Produced by hxrxkiller

Baby why you do that?
Tell me what I did bad
I don't wanna move on
I want you to come back

I'll tell you my secrets
Only if you keep it
I been on the deep end
You're my only reason

I don't choose to let go
Sink into the darkness
I don't need no help
No one could ever solve this

Problem that I got inside
My stupid noggin
Don't know how to cope
Throw my fist at where the wall is

I need you but you don't need me anywhere as much
I'd bleed for you, even when you're the one that cuts me deep
I'll fiend for you till the day
I don't awake from the last nights sleep

You were all I lived for
Wish we coulda been more
Ever since the day you left
I can only feel sore

I thought you said you loved me
Why you treat me like I'm nothing?

Do you think it's funny to come back into my life when
I finally get you out of my head and stop inviting?
You think I don't know where you live and who you lie with?
Play with my heart ever again, that's who you'll die with

You think I went too far?
But I ain't took a step yet
You think I'm a lover boy
There's a void inside of my chest

It won't be filled till she fills a fucking casket
I won't be healed while she lives, I'm getting drastic
I thought I told you, I'm not angel
But I know how I can make you see a halo

I need you but you don't need me anywhere as much
I'd bleed for you, even when you're the one that cuts me deep
I'll fiend for you till the day
I don't awake from the last nights sleep

loverboy.

Produced by flower x luffysome

This song vividly captures a deep emotional struggle, showcasing themes of unrequited love, toxic cycles, self-doubt, and the internal conflict between seeking healing and clinging to pain. At its core, it reflects a longing for purpose and worth, yet it’s tied to someone else’s love and approval—a perspective that can leave one feeling perpetually empty.

Healing Through Truth, Not Cycles:

“I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I’m toxic.”

This lyric reflects the tension between using music as a release and feeling trapped by it. True healing comes from Christ, who transforms pain into purpose.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Misplaced Purpose and Worth:

“Girl loving you is my purpose / If I ain’t with you, I’m worthless.”

This sentiment highlights a misplaced dependency on others for worth. God offers a love that is unwavering and defines your true identity.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Breaking Toxic Cycles:

“Stuck in a cycle, I love it.”

This acknowledgment of being caught in a harmful loop mirrors the human struggle with sin and destructive patterns. Freedom comes through surrendering those cycles to God.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

Burden and Redemption:

“Sorry, I know I’m a burden.”

Though it feels isolating, Jesus invites us to cast our burdens on Him. You are not a burden to God; you are loved and valued.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Lyrics

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

This ain't a lesson I'm learning, stuck in a cycle, I love it
Said I was healing, I wasn't, they say time heals wounds but it doesn't
It only makes you forget and honestly that ain't worth shit
Cause I still feel all the effects, I just forgot what caused it

Don't have a heart anymore, gave it to her but she lost it
I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic
I'm in pain, need to stop it and I don't see any options
What I'm sleeping in bed for? Wanna sleep in a coffin

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

i tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic.

Produced by kledyy

Lyrics

I opened up my chest, laid it bare for you
I pulled out my heart, something I never do
I scraped out the pain, every secret, every scar
I was hoping that you’d see me but you always stayed so far

I gave you the pieces, every single one with care
I was hoping that you’d hold them but you just left them there
I poured out my soul, let you see it all
But you never even caught me when I began to fall

I scraped it clean, down to the core
Gave you the love I’d never shown before
But you turned away, left me bleeding out
Now I’m hollow inside and I'm filled with doubt
I gave you my heart, every piece that I could
But you never would love me in the way that I thought that you would

You were the light I reached for in the dark
The warmth that I chased to mend my broken heart
I showed you all of the places I hide
The ghost of my past that I kept deep inside

Now there's nothing left but an empty space
Echoes of a love that time itself won't ever erase

i've scraped my heart clean to give you everything i possibly could.

Produced by flower x fonkyfake

Lyrics

Holding on to nothing
I don't care, I just needed something
Drugs I'm off and drinking? Stopped it
Had to resort to another option

Don't know where I'll go from here though
I wanna save you but I'm not a hero
I need God, I need a miracle
I don't think my vice is curable

This ain't talent, this is pain embodied
Speaking through my body
I'm not alive, I'm a zombie
Pain is what I eat when hungry

Lost my heart, I won't ever find it
My mind's dark and I won't ever light it
I been battling my demons and I'm tired of the fighting
Fuck ken, detmer's who I can confide in

I don't wanna hide it
Yeah, I kinda like it
I don't wanna fall short
But I might really fall in

God can you forgive me?
For I know not what I do
Will it take away the pain?
If I give it all to you?

this ain't talent, this is pain.

Produced by fowni x jaysset 

Lyrics

Bite my teeth and I clinch my fist
I tried hard but I couldn't resist
Miss your lips, girl I miss your kiss
Really wish that I could but can't get out my head

Fuck waking up, I can't get out my bed
Told you to stay but you left me instead
Wish I knew what I should do
I talk to her and pretend that she's you

Told you before, I'm delusional
You treat me so ugly but you're beautiful
Found you again what you moving for?
You won't escape me until you're a corpse

Keep fucking with me and I'll expedite it
If it makes you feel safer then go ahead, change your name
But I swear that I'll still find it
If you stayed then I wouldn't be like this

Don't try to say that this ain't your fault
You coulda saved me but you said fuck off
Tasted your love, baby I need it all
My head is spiraling and it won't stop

It never will because you won't come back to me
Won't ever be enough for you but you were already enough for me

Bite my teeth and I clinch my fist
I tried hard but I couldn't resist
Miss your lips, girl I miss your kiss
Really wish that I could but can't get out my head

Fuck waking up, I can't get out my bed
Told you to stay but you left me instead
Wish I knew what I should do
I talk to her and pretend that she's you

if you stayed then i wouldn't be like this.

The last song, I don't know why but this is. Wish I had some more songs ngl but this is the consummation. Jesus is Lord. God is Real. The devil will not keep on winning it just feels that way sometimes.

Consummation

$LUT ROOM

זה לא שיר — זה טקס.

סערה קמאית, שופרות קרועים, רעמים וברקים.
לוטה של טרובדור מנוגנת כמו בלוז קדמוני — חותך, פראי, לא מנחם.

עברית וארמית שזורות בנבואה על דין, אהבה ונקמה.
הזהוב לוחם, הטרובדור נביא, ושלם עומדת בין חורבן לגאולה.

אין פה פזמון שמרים —
יש שבועה.
הליכה יחפה בשערי המקדש.
השתחוויה בין עצי הזית.

האזנה בלילה מומלצת.
אוזניות חובה.

TIme MUst SNAp.mp3

all credit to:
@unknxwn7
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Broken and can’t fix up again
Pushy personally I don’t want no friends
Everything starts somewhere, everything ends
How could you be mine when he says that your his?
Stuck in my bed, with my thoughts
Always in my feelings can’t think out the box
Look both ways before you decide to cross, my mind you’ll find that I’m empty inside.
In the morning I got hopes of what to do
But all my hopes are dead by the afternoon
Invite me out
I’ll stay in my room
The only fate of mind I have is doom
Everytime I see your face
I just break down
It’s ok if you
Hate me now
Ima die soon and I will see you
In hell cause that’s where you belong to

Broken and can’t fix up again pushy personality I don’t want no friends
Everything starts somewhere everything ends
How could you be mine when he says that your his
Think before you speak don’t make an assumption,
And the back luck just keeps on coming and coming
Problems catching up I’ll keep on running and running
Hoping that my heart is solid and pumping is pumping
Eating poison out of paper all I can’t afford
Everyone is hated
Everyone’s adored
Every dogs got a day gotta find yours
Otherwise what the fuck was all the pain for

Broken and can’t fix up again
Pushy personality I don’t want no friends
Everything starts somewhere everything ends
How could you be mine when he says that your his

Unknxwn. - Stuck

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling, that feeling is gone

I don't like people, I stay to myself
Don't lie to my face and say that you can help
I don't like people, I stay to myself
Don't lie to my face and say that you can help

No cure for me so theres no care for me
Call me your friend but you're not there for me
I'll never fit in, theres no "pair" for me
I'll never leave but they don't bear for me

Only thing I ever do is complain
Head overflown with all of this damn pain
Pain is the ocean tie weights to my brain
Stuck in the rain watch me go up in flames

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling that feeling is gone

Only thing I ever do is complain
Head overflown with all of this damn pain
Pain is the ocean tie weights to my brain
Stuck in the rain watch me go up in flames

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling that feeling is gone

i tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic.

unknxwn.