Loner

STILL THE SAME

wait4it

a fake scene awakens
curvin my bad decisions
might fall back tonight
all the paths i’ve takin 
n i keep regressing
my regrets in this

u make me delusional
f*ck u for losin hope
loose love it was conditional
used me like medicinal

i got caught up in the way that we talk
moved too fast then we swerved hit a wall
brake fast finish last
leading me along
always gettin high 
why’d u leave me at a low?
i can fix u up
let me in take it slow
fight me outside
back it up when we’re alone
u f*ck my head up like a prozac
empty like a bottle no signal like i’m blocked in

u make me delusional
f*ck you for losin hope
loose love it was conditional
used me like medicinal

consider i take the past away
or i rewash all that pain away
can’t take it back instead replay
every detail of those memories made,
we got swept up tryna force this
love n loss just part of the process
built up mountains of remorses
split us up n now we’re corpses to us,
we let the outside take us
hard to bring back 
what was had after lost trust
still look for u in the real world
were we just lust?
that we called love?

(i gotta yell here? f*ck)
u make me delusional
f*ck you for losin hope
loose love it was conditional
used me like medicinal
u make me delusional
f*ck this make me risk it all
loose love thinking you ripped me off
too high off your counter love

medicinal

I’m sick of misdirecting what I want 
I know it all
I know its all a mind state
But with you poppin up its hard to stay 
on track
start to think about our last day

Why am I still feeling wrong?
Think I’m stained
I’ve been glued 
To my past
I’m like when does all this pain end?
And every word you said is damaging my brain
Always find it’s way back
How’d you get here in the first place?

Was it all just a lie?
I see you treat it like joke
Making love just to pass time
I think I already know

The person I’ve become is stained by you 
I’m conditioned to the thought of us 
The only girl I never thought I’d lose
Had me feeling like I’m useless 
It don’t effect me so I guess I must used to it

It’s all good do you 
No problem
I just wanna talk 
We don’t gotta get started
Or have you grown cold hearted?
Maybe I can still solve it

Why am I still feeling wrong?
Think I’m stained
I’ve been glued 
To my past
I’m like when does all this pain end?
And every word you said is damaging my brain
Always find a way back
How’d you get here in the first place?

Why am I still feeling wrong?
Think I’m stained
I’ve been glued 
To my past
I’m like when does all this pain end?
And every word you said is damaging my brain
Always find a way back
How’d you get here in the first place?

I cant get you off my mind 
See your face 
Everywhere I look
Got me thinkin bout our old ways 
I might get you back
I swear I could
Spent some time away
Why’d we end it in the first place?

Stained

Just a lil more ye
Just a lil more 
Just a lil more ye 
Kick you to the curb
Just a lil more ye 
I don’t wanna stop
I don’t wanna stop this

Tried makin everything perfect 
that shits not worth it 
fell short didnt deserve this 
didnt serve my purpose
tried makin everything perfect 
that shits not worth it 
fell short didnt deserve this 
didnt serve my purpose

help me out autumn
she look like a model
how we gonna fall in love 
when all we do is fall out?
last night was a problem
I confessed a little too much
let you see my soul again
im glad I didnt lose it

I cant fuck with you, 
you always take my self worth 
actin so selfish 
I fuckin cant help it 
passed up all the warning signs for pleasure I deserve it
forget all the peace disturbed and feelin like I’m worth less
Worthless

tried makin everything perfect 
that shits not worth it 
fell short didnt deserve this 
didnt serve my purpose
tried makin everything perfect 
that shits not worth it 
fell short didnt deserve this 
didnt serve my purpose

tell me how it is just face it 
you n me 
basic knowledge
we can be 
all you wanted
follow me
I can ball it
runnin in place impatient
runnin on 10 I’m pacin well
keep that love dont change at all
I’ll show up like whats up whats up
need some of those feel good hormones
that we know we cant get enough of
but you want me to mess up mess up
so Ill just

tell myself that I wont fail 
keep my short comings and prevail 
just might introduce you to the new me 
I hope you doin well
and all these bitches kiss n tell 
they wanna leave me at a low point 
they dont want me well
keep my short comings and prevail 
just might introduce you to the new me 
I hope you doin well
and all these bitches kiss n tell 
they wanna leave me at a low point 
they dont want me well

Autumn!

regret. (demo)

I’m sick of giving you my all with no return..

no return

favor

keep it in
I cant let you win no 
changed up left me broken 
I thought we were golden
n you prob think I hate you
I play cool
its the only thing I can do 

did me a favor called it quits
now I got options
I’ll see you run back in a few years 
when im top shit 
and I was all in 
even when you made it toxic
fuck bein open and involved
I drop all of it

we started good took it slow
pictures on my phone I still look back 
feelings frozen on a screen
n when we came to a close 
never felt the same theres a hole right 
where my heart had used to beat
I been feelin so alone 
stay focused on a goal and I believe that
all this shit was meant to be
you still feel so close
feel it in my veins like I bleed out
thought that you were meant for me

did me a favor called it quits
now I got options
ill see you run back in a few years 
when im top shit 
and I was all in 
even when you made it toxic
fuck bein open and involved
I drop all of it

you lead me to grow n focus on myself
now I got no time for you or what I felt
all that shit is dead now don’t try to fuckin bother me
didn’t care before now it’s funny that you stalkin me

you act like you hate me 
you don’t even care
laid up in my arms but you weren’t even there
that shit really got to me
that shit wasn’t fair
thought you were the one for me 
my vision wasn’t clear guess I’m glad you fuckin

did me a favor when you left blocked my calls yeah
I’ll see you run back at my best reach the top yeah
n I was all in even when you made it hard
would I be better if I never got involved w you

did me a favor called it quits
now I got options
ill see you run back in a few years 
when im top shit 
and I was all in 
even when you made it toxic
fuck bein open and involved
I drop all of it
did me a favor called it quits
now I got options
ill see you run back in a few years 
when im top shit 
and I was all in 
even when you made it toxic
fuck bein open and involved
I drop all of it

favor

regret.(nightcore version)

I Dont Want That Many Friend$ in the First Place (remake)

Loser

Favor Strive Rmx

I love this song so I covered it, video on my youtube, follow my SoundCloud for more covers and original songs 

https://youtu.be/BR17fI338A4?si=IEzo4tIuFNMQEFhI

#cover #d4vd #romantichomicide

romantic homicide cover live

its not as easy as it sounds
anxiety makin its rounds on me
its time for me to turn this shit around
any way that lets me be
on my own
find peace 
all alone  
better not be 
far along
its close 
if I just

wait 
am I safe?
am I wrong
am I late
Im enslaved 
losing sleep
I get paid 
just to waste 
i been used 
I been blind
life is too 
fucking short 
and its loud
lose control 
clear my doubt

doubt in my head push me miles away
memories formed 
feel like scars in my brain
mushrooms to kill all my pride as I fade
ego it crumbles I dont know my face
talking to god make me lean on my faith 
only through death is what made me awake
only through breaking what gave me a break
now I feel grateful in my day to day

im a control freak
want it my way
only way my mind is free
and when I feel okay

when Im in my room I dont got no stress
when im outside always in my head
cause all my problems internal
internal 
internal
 all my problems internal
internal 
internal

wait 
am I safe?
am I wrong
am I late
Im enslaved 
losing sleep
I get paid 
just to waste 
i been used 
I been blind
life is too 
fucking short 
and its loud
lose control 
clear my doubt

CONTROL FREAK

Fairytale (niztopia song wars 9/14)

I doubt that youll hear me well
to live in a fairytale is a cage
if I dont impair myself
then I’ll be impaled by everything

My mind 
stays slow 
no matter where
I go
nothing will change 
Ive tried it all
how can I make it 
on my own
when youre the one I call home

need some more cash for the bills 
wish I had a house on the hills
i can fix my pain with a mil 
I could fix any pain with a million
am I askin for too much?
all I want all I need is a few bucks 
my plans need stacks and a tooth brush
see the world grab a map and your soft touch

lost feeling in the snow
my hands are freezing cold 
am I numb from all the frost bite 
in this frozen world 
my sins are paid in full
but my vices keep me lulled
im running on a treadmill
hamster on a wheel
just runnin runnin.

My mind 
stays slow 
no matter where
I go
nothing will change 
Ive tried it all
how can I make it 
on my own
when youre the one I call

running circles around my head
but its okay for you
to show up act like youve been dead
oh my god youre so obsessed
with yourself you struggle to find anyone else
no one wants to deal with you or give you help
like oh well

feeling out of bed in the dark now
some part of me still feels a spark somehow 
if only now i could get up
get up dont do it
why do i feel so defeated
but you know i cant give in
youre every single reason
for my life
you dont try
youre just wastiing my time
your life unfolds in my eyes
i dont believe all your lies
lie lie lie

just lie to me
i can still feel your heart beating
just try for me
i can feel your heart depleting
i wish you could see this my love

My mind 
stays slow 
no matter where
I go
nothing will change 
Ive tried it all
how can I make it 
on my own
when youre the one I call home

Written by $haded Monroe and Twohead
Produced by $haded Monroe and Strive
Mixed and mastered by $haded and Monroe

Fairytale

Little Things

MY SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6TFbkieDWB8aPLaZFsGquH?si=5MVUP3yORA-6T3hqx9wV6Q

$haded

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