rock star love potions

British children's author Roald Dahl battles against American poet, Shel Silverstein to see who is the superior writer.

F00pz as Roald Dahl
Seth W. as Shel Silverstein 
Flowtest by Dustin
Beat prod by Baghira
Mixed by Dustin and Seth
Written by R the Writer 
Chiseled by Legion
Thumbnail by Aaron Peters

Roald Dahl:
When I pen out my bars, they spell doom for this oaf
With sharp rhymes I dine on a poet like a bloath
I created the roots for flicks and tales adored by all
This frail Shel of an Author's left forgotten next to Dahl
I'm the champion here, you're better off as an apprentice
Who excites kids more Willy Wonka or Dan the Dentist?
Reduce a rancid writer's rants, there's no chance of him outflowing me
This missing piece will meet a big L when I shelve his putrid poetry

Shel Silverstein:
I've got the globe in my hands and I'll drop it on faux Carroll
Said to have warm sentiment? Your best tales are kids imperiled
Pit against this trunch-bull spewing twit? I find that insulting
Even in the 80s, your rhymes weren't as revolting
Better get croc tongue, your current effort's fruitless
As your attic light's shot by the vet that's more ruthless
The word profuse describes abuse I'll cast upon this nuisance 
I'm a legendary wordsmith rendering plot rehashers useless

Roald Dahl:
Indeed I wrote revolting rhymes, received better than your rapping
Trying to talk back smack? Now I'll leave your bones blackened
My arsenal of tales, they're whales. A buffet for Melinda Mae.
Impacts everlasting like a gobstobber, still mentioned to this day
Look away, as I harshly outshine this absurd obscurity
You're prone to heart attacks, you'll suffer another assuredly
Stacked up hot garbage, now look at you, you're rubbish
Looks like your comeback is going to be posthumously published

Shel Silverstein:
I'm checkin' out of this fight, see I've just about had it
With this adversary spitting more gibberish than runny Babbit
Fill you with plotholes, I'm a shel-shocker, blasting out warheads
Make your chance of winning this fight spottier than your forehead
Must be bonkers aiming for this like Oscars, you've run Wild
But it's Shel's adult night and I'll be rid of this manchild!
Now let's tell a tale of Dahl, a fool who thought it would appear
As though this was a piece of cake, yet it was the end of his career

(Next Battle: Lions ft.VinnyO)

Check out Seth's album!
https://soundcloud.com/seth-wisniewski-1/sets/i-am-me-2017

Shel Silverstein Vs Roald Dahl - Rap Battle

CM(BRB)

Lyrics/Karaoke/Funfacts: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FfwoHKtns8lWVFYa7rca31CKU5tAuajnNaq13ho51TI/edit
Written by: Gengo the Cannoli King, MetaMachine, B O R K, Gamingplush64, and Dani Frias
Freshy Kanal as Gregg
Bork as Kyle
Beat by Veysigz
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by Micheal / Stark Media

Kyle vs. Gregg

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iUhXHydECtXt2incabrzBqFIfIi-5GpbRYFyk0hGbBA/edit
Alternate audio: https://soundcloud.com/user-938839005/bendy-vs-cuphead-alternate-audio
MetaMachine as Bendy
Alex as Cuphead
Jade as Ink Demon
Written by MetaMachine, GamingPlush64, Kamren, Dani Frias. Bork and Jade
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by Kamren
Beat by Audio Network
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Smashing Duos"
Hint from Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Bendy vs. Cuphead

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtCCTMsVHP8

Malina Rose as Monika
Xhack as White Face

Written by Xhack, Jade, and GamingPlush64
Additional writing help from MetaMachine and Gengo
Produced by Xhack
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Special thanks to Xhack, Malina Rose, Michael/Stark Media, and Vivian

MONIKA (0:11):
Did Jade run out of ideas? This matchup sure isn’t fitting...
I’ll be GameMaker’s game-breaker when I beat you in one sitting
Seems this isn't Lucky Tickets for this poorly coded freak
This will be a piece of cake: I'm used to seeing through MCs!
Your vocal keys are rusted, and I don’t think you can revel
When you’re taking “Doki Doki!” to a whole different level
But when Notepad’s your claim to fame, I think I ‘ought to thrive
I mean, it’s a master poet against 2008 YouTube guides!
IMSCARED is quite the overstatement, looking at your players
If you're so cold then some fire rapping should be something SAVE-ored!
I'd say to watch as I format this poem based on your defeat
But with your fans already deceased? I'll be glad to delete.

WHITE FACE (0:41):
I assume you think you've won by now, but you've been deceived
That verse was a maze, one that I'm inclined to leave
I'd love to play some tag, honestly, that would be fun
But the mirror has its ways, let's reflect on what you've done
They say the deepest view into one's soul is through their art
And your murder's fueled by love but you don't seem to have a heart
You'll be kicked out of this battle, when trash has power off of her
They call your game amazing! But oh, it's just a moniker
This room is so cold… But my rhymes are still infernal
Blue screen that window, make your suffering eternal
Many hate anime, and some are quite confused
But I'll be over here, looking right at you

MONIKA(1:11):
That blow was more repetitive than your gramophone, but-
Writing-wise, you really could use a visit to my literature club;
I mean, mashing terms together, and you pass that off as elegance?
Man, the one thing harder to name than you is your relevance!

WHITE FACE (1:21):
Go and gather some info to go and try to drain me
And keep on all you want; no one file can contain me
Take your ren.piss-poor game, and close it down to make it right
But instead of jumbled color, you'll see blue… And then white.

MONIKA(1:31):
So repulsive your sole “friend” "pulled" a Sayori? ...Wow.
Just goes to show -- with you deleted, everyone can be happy now!

WHITE FACE (1:37):
You're on so many different people's screens to be gratified
If you won the player over I suppose you'd not be satisfied

MONIKA(1:42):
Icer sure nailed your writing; we can’t read it like your typeface!
Who’s a sole, worthless loner for eternity? Just White Face.

WHITE FACE (1:47):
Well would you look at that? Seems you're nearing on the ending
Get the ropes; your Twitter won't be the thing suspending...

[please never listen to my old battles] Monika vs White Face - Rap Battle! #8

Plankton's Experiment : The Monarchy
Squidward's Suicide : Jose

Written by Kamren
Beat : https://drive.google.com/file/d/144fEa5wotGUJpfbpX_hUv3gQJ09Bg1jJ/view?usp=drivesdk
Beat Prod. : Hollywood Legend
Mixed by : Jordan
Cover art by AaronGPeters
Special Thanks to Dustin and Jade!

[0:25]
Squidward's Suicide :
So they revived me just to be put against an episode so shallow?
Since you're just another crappy-pasta that I'll crush beneath my shadow
The voices tell me to do many things, but read your story? Not one of them!
I mean, just look at the Wattpad page! You're just One Course Meal, chum
Musical notes are my formula! The one you should have killed over
Then again, I would have replaced it like Jade when she tossed you over
To the trash can where you belong, don't you realize it yet?
I'm the whole reason for you even being created on the web!

[0:51]
Plankton's Experiment :
Haven't gotten halfway, yet this experiment has already proved pointless 
Since there are better tales of horror coming from suicidal rodents
Had your chance at the Super Bowl, then Sicko Mode got in the way
Now you mope on your bed, screaming "KAREN TOOK MY HAPPINESS AWAY!"
The crowd booed you off the stage, but I didn’t know your plays could get worse
Remind me who ruined Bikini Bottom, cuz it sure wasn’t fucking Squidward!
Here I thought my traps were rich, but your cameo was only for clicks
Then ended transparent as Red Mists, showing off some dead kids.

[1:16]
Squidward's Suicide :
Plankton mad he's getting served? You ain't Hillenburg, so hush
But what can I say? You're already used to being rushed!

[1:23]
Plankton's Experiment :
My story was a masterpiece! Yours is forgotten each and every day
So make yourself useful for once, take that gun and blow out your brains!
Quit the hyper realism, I only need one eye to creep the masses

[1:32]
Squidward's Suicide :
You don't even have a leg to stand on! Something you have less than Patrick
I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, HAVE FUN WITH THE POLICE!! 

[1:39]
Plankton's Experiment :
Drawing this battle to a close, here lies Squiddy's Hopes and Dreams....

Plankton's Experiment vs Squidward's Suicide - Rap Battle! (ft. Jose & The Monarchy)

SINIU as Lucoa
curiouscloudy as Umaru-chan

Beat Produced by: GRILLABEATS
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias

Lyrics:

Lucoa:
Welcome to the show, and today we’re gonna have
But the Filthiest of Franks, saying he’ll beat me in rap
Best known for the Harlem Shake, going ‘gainst me with some banter
But I just got one issue: Why couldn’t I fuck up that hamster
Teach me Japanese again, I’ll cut your dick with bamboo
Ranting about Pokemon when you could just shower with shampoo
Bitch, I’m the individual who wears the crown
Corrected all along, as words will bring you down

Umaru:
Pleasure to meet you Andre, you’re just a lower one, I guess
But I’ll give a truce to prove to you that you’re the very best
私のペニスを吸う
Then go put that shit on Google Translate or something, cork screw
So soon, that this dude thinks that he’ll make some tunes
Hasn’t done a fucking thing, while I’m on billboards to this sand dune
And the net’s too sensitive now; a bunch of maggots
You too! Open your eyes and quit being little

Lucoa:
But I’d rather not listen to Joji and the Ballads
Fat fuck, someone needs some ranch on top his salad
Cooked up some DizastaMusic and that shithouse wasn’t gonna fix
your garbage fucking vocals that be soundin’ like some Politikz

Umaru:
It’s time to stop! Who let your dick stuck in the grater?
You got some dookie lines, I’ll go cry with Tyler, the Creator
Your skits can’t outmatch mine. Let me put it blunt
Your ranch against Pink Guy makes Pink Guy up-

Lucoa:
Shit, my bad, I just ate a horse dong for dinner
And if I’m honest, it didn’t taste as bad as what you’re telling me
So what were you telling me? That Pink Guy would be the winner?
He can take that shit because my stomach’s still upsetting me

Umaru:
Well, damn then, I guess I’m winning after E’s shtick
Shit just went from zero to one hundred real quick
I’m tearing down your elevator pranks, ending Bad Trips
So let me end you real quick like I was Hanniba- wait what did you just-

For anyone who needs to hear it.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/267087833401917442/691332725650620426/nohedidnt.mp3 

FyxFynn as Eric Andre
Swoldow EVGRB as Filthy Frank

Lucoa vs. Umaru-chan - #3

Originally for an AF special but I didn't like my first performance enough to release it on that day.

Dani Frias as Skeletor
Azia as Felix Argyle

Beat Produced by: Atomic Beats
Written by: Jade and Dani Frias
Chiseled by: FyxFynn and Gengo the Cannoli King
Mixed by: GamingPlush64
Flow Test by: Dani Frias
Old thumbnail by: Rabi

Lyrics:

Skeletor:
You’re no He-Man. Get this He-Boy kicked out of Castle Grayskull
I won’t lose to a neko creature with my battle phrase stole
But have at it. After this I can hire you for preparing meals
Your mere existence won’t go ‘round my head like it’s a Ferris wheel
Only known to sweaty nerds in their chastity
A knight can’t last against cavalry
I’ll unravel thee;
I’m majesty!
While you’re just a weeaboo’s whole fantasy!
You can battle me, but it’s laughably bad
When I deprive ya harder than your family has
‘Cause, as a matter of fact, your life’s running gag
Was your pronouns in the anime

Felix:
You think that I could be surprised by rapping at a deadly rate?
But I thought that you’d ditch this fight and take me on spaghetti dates
Hit your funny bone, must’ve lost both brains and brawn
When I send you back to where you were like “Hey, what’s goin’ on”
This immortal knight can fight a flyte,
and this dollar store Loki would know.
Henchmen already undermine nya might;
need no mana for your weakened flow
‘Cause when it comes toe-to-toe of diss
Robot Chickens should clear it
Since it shows you failed at wrapping, looking for the Christmas spirit

Skeletor:
So a duel it is! I thought this coward would flee from Keldor’s raps
I spew hot fire on the track like my name’s Skele-Hordak!

Felix:
Didn’t think you’d exhale phrases that could make this worse
Asked to duel me with some raps when you’re the Master of a puny verse?

Skeletor:
Silence! I’d rather have you bite than think that speech stood
As banishing this furry is the only time I’ll feel good

Felix:
And when I’m banished, that sounds better than seeing this bad sight
Guess that magic staff of yours couldn’t help you in this catfight

Skeletor vs Felix Argyle - #4

Alex the Beast as Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜
IcerM as SiivaGunner
Some guy as CBT Man

Written by IcerM
Mixed by IcerM

Beat by Dansonn

Lyrics:

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
HE COMES! CHAOTIC EVIL EMBODIED AGAINST A SOUND CLOWN
HOPE YOU LOVED LIFE - FOR AS I STRIKE, I’LL TAKE YOURS DOWN
IN A SIMILAR VESSEL, THERE’S NAUGHT THAT I BELIEVE TO SAY
WOULD HAVE A LASTING IMPACT - FOR YOU’RE LIKELY NOT HERE TO STAY
WHEN I TELL WHAT I TELL YOU WILL RUN OFF IN HORROR
SPITTING TICKETS TO HELL WHEN I’M CAUSING DISORDER
I CAN CAUSE YOUR WHOLE SO-CALLED LORE TO BREAK IN A HEARTBEAT
SO LEAVE NOW, LEST I SHOW YOU WHAT’S NOT TO SEE
YOU’RE NOT A LOT TO ME. I’LL HAVE YOU CROSSED
WITHOUT A QUESTION AS TO WHETHER OR NOT THIS IS LOSS
YOU’RE TAKING SIIVA, GUNNER. I’LL PARALYZE THIS BITCH
WHILE YOU FUCK WITH MEMES ON THE WEB I’LL BE TERRORIZING IT

SiivaGunner:
Damn, I knew you’d be pissy, but that’s left me in awe
How about seven chill pills? One for each jaw
There’s so little known about you I’ve found nothing, study as I might
Even Jschlatt can’t hold a candle to that funny mic
I’m the Grand Dad of grab bags with high quality raps, that
If you think you can battle, then listen here, you’re just damn mad
So level with the reality that your puppets are the same
And go walk your fucking staircase back down from whence you came

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
YOU CAN UTTER ALL THOSE LIES AND CLAIM THEY’RE NOT GETTING OLD
WHEN YOU STOP TREATING MY HIGHER VESSELS AS COMEDY GOLD
YOU’LL NEVER COMPREHEND A METHOD TO WIN, TRY AS YOU MIGHT
RIPS FROM JUST AS MANY GAMES AS TIMES I’VE PLAYED YOU IN THIS FIGHT

SiivaGunner:
Can’t read any of your babble but a couple of shit rhymes
But I’ll mutilate it further - multiple uploads at a time!
HE COMES at the sight of a certain cat, I know you would man
So I’m keen to give you the axe, like you were Wood, Man!
And with those caverns in your skulls, gushing reddened dyes
Just take pages from Cthulhu and go fucking rest your eyes
It’s been many many years, and people are still subscribing
And to put that in perspective, cult activity’s declining

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
YOU THINK YOU’RE CAUSING DAMAGE WITH YOUR VILE RHYMES? YOU’RE FUCKING WRONG
I’M NOT BEING RIPPED INTO BY THE MINDS BEHIND BIG CHUNGUS’ SONG
WHY AM I EVEN PIT AGAINST A SHITPOST ACCOUNT
WHEN YOU SIMPLY LET YOUR FANBASE DO THE WORK THEN REAP YOUR CLOUT
THEY WOULD ALL BE BETTER OFF ATTEMPTING MUSIC FOR A ROM HACK
I GIVE LIFEBLOOD TO WHAT'S FICTIONAL. YOU MIDI-SLAP THE NUTSHACK
SO NO TURNING BACK. YOU'VE ALREADY MADE YOUR DECISION
SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR DAYS WITHIN COPYRIGHT STRIKE PRISON

SiivaGunner:
Call you chaotic? Please! You wouldn’t last one minute where I fare
I know you love destruction, so how’s this for Your Best Nightmare?
And we all know your sadomasochism’s unprecedented!
If it weren’t for risk of CBT I’d see to it you’re ended
You’ve got a bubble more claustrophobic than meme culture you battle in
ZALGO be like “I’m charged guilty of several Rap Battle Sins”
So this is my Magnum opus, after God knows how long
Insert stupid-ass finisher, something something, ZALGONE!

ZALGO vs SiivaGunner. Rap Battle!

LYRICS

Bill Cipher:
(...Woah, now, lemme just cut you off there)
I thought Battle Bytes ended this, why am I back here, producer?!
I see why SoundCloud makers suck; you made me versus THIS loser!
So I’ll leave you trashed and replaced like my bout with Freddy
But I guess you’d be used to that, just checkin’ out your dev team!
I mean, lookin' at these lyrics, and reading your dialogue,
for the con sub of Subcon, you're no arsonist with fire logs!
But I'm used to smokin' pine trees! Conjure your best lines, please
‘Cuz I’ll give ‘ya two and a half minutes ‘fore your soul is mine, G!
I'm an icon! You're sold for nostalgia, the classics!
You’ve got kids kicking your ass, hctib! I could even slash Hat Kid!
Your schtick is sick -- a twisted rapper ripped from Twilight Zone
Turn Thousand Year Door chests to stone and place them atop my highest throne!

Snatcher:
FOOL! Activated my trap card-
Leave you paved in the graveyard, if you wanna throw wack bars
But we’ve got a deal to seal -- just sign now and you’ll find
that you haven’t paid the price and whoop! Your soul’s mine!
Awww, you can break the fourth wall, too?
...is that all, dude? Hit me up when those jokes grow overused
then I’ll freeze you in your tracks if you wanna test the best, ‘cuz
after this, you’ll end like Queen Vanessa!
And while you’re messing around in mindscapes
I’m dealin’ in the courtyard, raking high stakes
You make time breaks, but on my watch, you’d best read the fine print
Either sign the line, kid or be left lifeless!

Bill Cipher:
Booooriiiiiiing! That filler wasn't even worth the wait
Who would expect less from a slurry Jade role, in hindsight?
I mean, I'd be a hermit too if I had THAT kind of face
But it'd look better inside; let's take a look in your mind’s plight!
...Wooooaaaah, dude, I've got a really stupid end!
My own wife murdered me just 'cause I spoke to some lady friend!
Now I cry alone in the woods, useless, without peers,
'cause the only ones who ever cared about me have been dead for years!

Snatcher:
...Did you just try to possess me during your own verse?!
God, even your cliché powers have grown worse...
Mocking my death? Right, remind me how you came to "win."
Oh yes! You got screwed by the Mr. Krabs twins!
You really ARE a fool! And I thought *I* was the trickster!
But Gravity's drop won't be PG! Drop a warning for these tri-ggers!
And to mock my forest? It's no secret that you're Tourist
-Trapped in Oregon's organs, reignin' foggier than Portland
I know you don't mean to bore us, but you do with every chorus
'Cuz while I'm spittin' up torrents, you're just spewin' like the Toilet!

Bill Cipher:
I'm trying to search for literally just ONE decent rap
But it's invisible! ...What, do I need a Dweller Mask?!
I'd love to shake on it, but I don't want 'ya on my palm, you're
stretchy, purple, slimy? You're just the snot behind the slaughter! 
Ghoul's EXACTLY What He Seems, flat like his form in the first run
You steal souls and beats from Dustin? I storm REALITIES for fun!

Snatcher:
You can tri from any angle, but it just comes out scalene
When against a-cute Euclid-ian, I'm more Keter in scaling
the worst Bill since Clinton, but I know how to make this fight fair:
Welcome to this lucid dream, pet; have fun in eternal nightma-

CREDITS

ENNWAY As Bill Cipher
https://soundcloud.com/indiegamerapbattles
Nekomancer Jade as Snatcher
https://soundcloud.com/neko-nekomancer

Beat by Kustom
Demo by Nekomancer Jade
Written by Rabi and Nekomancer Jade
Mixed by DeegleNV
https://soundcloud.com/deeglenv
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby and KCToons
https://www.youtube.com/c/KyleCelezte1350/about
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

Skeletor vs Felix Argyle - #4

Anime Rap Clashes

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