its loud in my head •_•

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

black eyes staring straight through my skin
I can see the transparency within
it’s like I wasn’t even there no no no
sometimes the pictures that you took showed me I could disappear

I fucked up wading down the hospital isle
you said forget about me, I begged to stay for a while
so wrap your arms, wrap your arms just around me
turn to stone, lose control push away and be alone

I know you hoped i suffered I know your with another
cus hating me was your favorite past time
I know you break and stutter your minds fucked take another
another pill just to help you forget my name

my bones are now disordered kick down the glass now cornered
crawling out on my stomach just to feel more pain
dialed up you never answered, you left me here abandoned
could it be that this isn’t love

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

hospital beds, I see my mother give a smile
she'll hold my hand as I push myself into denial
you could have been there even as a fucking friend
I hate myself cus I couldn’t hate you when you left

broken knuckles hit the wall pain it shudders through my core
it’s not the type of pain that relates to my hand being broke
drive me to the hospital screaming at me all along
sorry im not perfect, im not worth it, I just really try my best

not to be too much, to fucked up
it’s hard to cope when you say it’s just all  in my head
cus our loves a messy masterpiece were both fucked up and on our knees
begging for a drug just to take away the fucking pain

Weathercast

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

it’s not fair that I see your smile, your right there
unconditional love always giving always care
you were right beside me you never left you always stayed
with your two big brown eyes yeah you gave a grin and

layed your head down on my sheets yeah
push the pain down yeah I weep
you didn’t know what was happening or what was going on
if I could just sacrifice myself for you, you’d know id do it all along

demons climbing up on you, no you can cope yeah you just falter
wading through the dark abyss, i see your eyes and now their broken
you don’t got no strength left in your legs so ill just pick you up and
drag you out until we reach a god who can explain this situation

see the bones start to stick out of your flesh, medicated, losing weight but
always have a smile on your mind you know that is hard to face this
watch my brothers fill with concern as your losing balance changing
into something that we don’t recognize anymore, its not fair

tell them it gets better, it won’t
perspective of this change is a joke
foggy grey blank mind is my world
the change wont come if I stay here alone

lacerations in my head hurt
dependency on drugs make me lurk
losing a best friend feels like shit
I lay my soul in the dirt

im sick of watching our loved ones fucking leave
what does god want id give up fucking everything
just to make the one I love stay 
before it’s my time to leave

you better make sure they’re all their afterlife
I don’t care if it’s in hell i’ll make sure im there in time
Just to see a smile on their face,
to make sure we are alright

Luminous

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

each day just repeats after the next
seems to always be the same yeah I can’t catch my breath yeah
try to explain but you just don’t get it
cus the same thing happened like you just took an amnestic

in my own hell right here, yeah I think I get it 
I just write these songs so yeah I can admit it
cus im lost in these tunnels not making sense
put a knife through my sternum treat me like I am an experiment

poor piss pants kid what did you expect
did you really think they’d treat you like an equal with respect
yeah boot to the face and they left you on the ground yeah
strap a kid down and medicate till his family is replaced

with a bottle and some drugs on the side yeah
wake up every morning feeling like I wanna die yeah
pushed into the trunk and try to kick out the light
no energy no strength just to keep up the fight

So what’s the point in living when you don’t really get it
yeah 404 connection lost im awkward I admit it
yeah what’s the point of running when they knew from the beginning
like who the fuck am I this insanity repeating

so what’s the point of loving when I couldn’t just admit
just a feeling of disgust in my stomach and its screaming
cus I hate this hate that everywhere I go
just the same face, lose touch, everything’s for show

say its aggravated assault when I punched you in the face
I swear time stood still for a second then its breaks yeah
watch the consequences start to come around yeah
running without shoes from the cops living underground

remember two of us at the landfill 
didn’t want to go home, no choice tears spill
in the family house where the holes start to resonate
watch the abyss grow in the cracks from your fathers’ hate

I hear you fucking crying through these paper-thin walls
you didn’t understand emotional abuse and now she’s gone
I see you running down the street, not a fear in site
except the one from your father where he stabbed you in the spine

three kids residing in the back room feeling pretty shit
don’t know how to talk about each other’s pains
until one day they just give up
I still blame you for her death

The Coward

Keygen (feat. Sinizter)(Prod. unknwnshi x 6a6ayaga)

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

yeah make way for the coward like what did you expect
yeah you didn’t think about it much but now your sons a wreck
doesn’t know how to cope or be social, 
feel like he’s the only one who feels this way no he cant maintain

a regular routine or fucking diet
cus he doesn’t know how to be alive most days he feels like he died
in that car crash a few years ago
he swears he saw the fucking light at the end of the tunnel

but he’s still on two feet, still barely coping
yeah he stays high so he doesn’t deal with his mind
cus it’s always the negative thoughts that take over each other
yeah until the tension just breaks snap yeah we just relapse back

to a childhood where we were neglected
by a family who couldn’t understand what it’s like to be different
from everyone else it’s like you’re all just NPCs
Yeah living check to check just to have nothing to show

yeah it’s fucking sad that we have to live this way
always tryna feed our family who’s hungry but they don’t understand the pain
that you go through day to day, live a nine to five, 
just the same routine from 30 till your fucking 89

I don’t  know why you fucking live like this
what happened to your fucking dreams would you blame it on your son
and would you leave all of us behind just to restart
maybe you fucking would but that’s life you don’t get a second shot

so this kids a bit older he’s almost 25 
doesn’t know what he wants but he’s got his fucking music
to live by new friends no lies, 
Every day we get a little better more plays no we never settle

for what we couldn’t have back when we grew up
yeah we all got our own problems and memories no one perfect
so we just fade, just fade out have a few more drugs
Yeah this isn’t what life is fucking all about

I Beg Your Pardon

Producer: https://www.instagram.com/disbl1nd/


Lyrics:


Each step I take I feel the Interference
As time is passing I see all the people disappearing
You know what the issue is but you're never going near it
Spent my entire life but I still can't find a cure.

This is where it all ends,
Caught between a tall fence
In the midst of violence and silence I guess it just all depends

had to just find the occasion again,
There was no use for erasing the past
Let it go through there's no taking it back

I let myself fade into black.


MOTHERFUCKER DON'T YOU EVER ATTEMPT ME
TURNED TO THE DEVIL WHEN EVERYONE LEFT ME

NOBODY GETS ME
GIVE IT A REST ALREADY

END EVERYBODY NO MATTER HOW MANY

YOU CALL ME A VILLAIN, BUT AM I?
IT'S EASY TO SEE WHO'S THE BAD GUY

 HOPE THAT YOU DIE IN THE PLACE YOU RESIDE
CHAOS IN SILENCE, COMMIT TO VIOLENCE.

YES, NOW I FEEL A LITTLE TENSE
DEMONS ONLY GET ASCENSION
TWISTED WITH EVERYTHING
FUCK YOUR PERCEPTION

SHOW YOU MY HATRED
NOT MY AFFECTION

I MOVE ALONG WITH THE COFFIN
HEAR THE NOISE OF THE TALKING
STEP ASIDE THEY'RE WATCHING
HOWS IT FEEL TO BE STARVING?




I'm out of ideas, blanket expression
Head is a mess, I cant pay attention

Are you talking to me or are you talking to them?
Neither? Just leave us a message

Every negative ideas feeding the vessel
Leaving my body i feel the distress

If only you feel what I feel in my chest, it's as real as it gets
I need to get checked up just from my neck up so they can see what's inside of my head

I feel like I'm dead it's been too many times that I've said it
It's coming to greet me if it wants to eat me I'll let it


my childhood is gone
I'm living life wrong
I can't see tomorrow
now i feel the starving


MY HEAD IS FULL, IT'S ALL PARASITES
THINK ABOUT IT ALMOST ALL THE TIME
WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES
I SEE NO SURPRISE

GETTING CLOSER TO MY OWN DEMISE


THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL LAST FOREVER
I ALWAYS TRY TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER
BUT I KNOW I CAN'T
ALWAYS HOLDING BACK


EVERY EMOTION, MY WOUNDS ARE ALL OPEN.

I WANNA FEEL, WHAT IS REAL
LET MY HEART, JUST HEAL

I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST, I'M LIFELESS

THINKING OF HOW, I CAN GET OUT THIS CRISIS?

NOW MY HEADS IN THE CLOUDS, CANT COME BACK DOWN
FEELING THE CHANGE OF CLIMATE

THROWING THE DICE, I CAN'T DO THIS TWICE
NOW ALL I CAN HEAR IS SILENCE.

Paranoid Love and Demons (prod. DISBL1ND)

Halloween AMV Special on https://soundcloud.com/idleglance
https://youtu.be/P5WkiYPKD-Y

https://soundcloud.com/rivilin
https://soundcloud.com/skylar_allen
https://soundcloud.com/netuhbeats
@prodbyfallen

lyrics

I’m with the homies we faded
Fuck on your foreign we skating
Numbin my head on the pavement
Bitch I ain’t fake it, runnin from bacon

I got a dream and I’m chasing
Create till I die ima make it
I’m with the homies we faded
How many times am I fucking gun say it

Train tracks with a switchblade
Got a full bag of the spray paint
Spit tha same lines so you realize this is real life and its do or die

I ain’t fuck around I ain’t got time
Shut your fucking mouth like a damn mime
I ain’t dumb bitch did the STEM grind while I was fucked with a broke mind like

I ain’t living issa fact
I be dying thassa wrap
Catch me crying in the back
That ain’t weakness I’m a man

I ain’t living issa fact
I be dying thassa wrap
Clap me and I’m cutting back
Facts

yea chainsaws coming out my arms, i think the devils just got me
fucking feeding off my self loathing it knows the one i hate is me
cus im just a scum fuck, should have fucking know better should have fucking thought it through
cus im just a dumb fuck, how the fuck did i survive what you put me through

you cut cut cut at my flesh until you hit the bone
you love love love just the way that i fucking hate you
polish your fucking teeth on the foot of my drive
cant get enough, put my car in reverse and drive on your eyes, you fucking cunt

See the look in my eyes and know it’s lights out
All the hate and despise it gave me life now
Looking around like I might drown
Everything round me the second I’m iced out
I see the hate in their faces
When I pull up I ain’t leaving no traces
Told you I said they’d remember my name
Put a knife in my back and I’m leaving you brainless
Now I seen thru your disguise
I can’t let you stay alive
Leave this place like do or die
Put my sanity on the line
Act like everything is fine
All this rage pent up inside
I can’t see no compromise
Watch out you better run for your life

Ima different fucking breed
I ain’t human I’ma beast
I am sloth boi, brown knight

I got guru blood in me
I got warrior sikhs
And I’m running on my last life

Train tracks with a switchblade
Got a full bag of the spray paint
Spit tha same lines so you realize this is real life and its do or die

I ain’t fuck around I ain’t got time
Shut your fucking mouth like a damn mime
I ain’t dumb bitch did the STEM grind while I was fucked with a broke mind like

I ain’t living issa fact
I be dying thassa wrap
Catch me crying in the back
That ain’t weakness I’m a man

I ain’t living issa fact
I be dying thassa wrap
Clap me and I’m cutting back
Facts

Do or Die

⸸ spotify ⸸

Do or Die w/ Rivilin & skylarallen (NetuH x FALLEN)

Prod. YCK

Thirty one nights in a legal asylum
Where the paperwork at so I’ll go and defile em
I can act for myself no divine command
And what I’d give in a trade for a sleight of hand
Any cunning stunts and any running fronts
That I’d would be committed to the coming months
And my attention is spent it would be diverted
But the newfound tricks I could bask in learning
Revel and gloat in the ways to finesse
I could brag about the fees that I paid em off to impress
And because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s righteous
If we’re talking ethics that ain’t here to guide us
Something separating the humans apart from beasts
Are imaginary codes and integrity the beliefs
That we’re better ain’t the truth we could follow instinct
In the end I’ll be betting predicting we go extinct

Won’t you free me
From this hell I’ve come to know called home
Won’t you kill me
So I’d be sent where the sinners go
Such a shame you couldn’t
Reach salvation fervently
I did the things you wouldn’t
So give me the courtesy

Transmitters up clockwork when the spring come
I’m in no shape to be leading a kingdom
Engineered inside a laboratory
Well I’m like a cancer you can’t ignore me
Nothing to add no testimony
Will exempt myself and I’ll be bested only
By death herself and I bet she’ll come 
To make me pay the price in what I’m fleeing from
Won’t get redemption in the fifth dimension
Fibers in my muscles are tearing up from the tension
Crush any particle that I’m made of
There ain’t no force in nature I’m afraid of
Cold intervention give no extension
Reigning down the worst on the earth is my sole intention
If I had a say in me being born
I’d much rather stay how I was before

Won’t you free me
From this hell I’ve come to know called home
Won’t you kill me
So I’d be sent where the sinners go
Such a shame you couldn’t
Reach salvation fervently
I did the things you wouldn’t
So give me the courtesy

Heretic

Sent to Salvation

Acid (Prod. luka burr)

Prod. YCK

We don’t need names
You’re the new slaves
Lining up their pockets
Inhumane and look who’s talking

Eyes real low blowing out the weed smoke
Fuck anybody knocking I don’t check the peephole
9 with the attachments promise all the cash mint
No bills marked passed out from the absinthe
101 inside sweating in the sweatshop
Bitch I come up with a weapon leave em fucking shellshocked
Holding me accountable legal a liability
Failing to recognize what I’m injecting it’s killing me
Stricken and wicked I’m forbidden out the holy garden he’s
Arisen take the picket sign and nail it through my arteries
I’m feeling like I’m dying on molecular levels
It’s my receptors they’re directing shoot the messenger vessel
I’m so gone leaking inside me’s only carcinogenic
Predisposed to be a loner coded it must be genetic
You wouldn’t notice day to day but I’ve been face to face with death
My cessation and location at a later date in depth

We don’t need names
You’re the new slaves
Lining up their pockets
Inhumane and look who’s talking

Underground renaissance I’m a Machiavelli
I’m an archetype I started fighting pills up in my belly
I’m the vagabond and outcast of the game
Talking bout some mid boosting and talking gold chains 
That do not appeal to me cause it don’t seem too real to me
And you won’t see me checking into one of these facilities
Seat pushed back as I watch the world burn
Stay depositing these racks cause it make the world turn
To all the 30 something fuckers that crowd around the spot
We never do want em present and testing and we do not want the cops
Showing their faces unannounced they’re circling round the parking lot
And nobody’s giving a fuck about your car with any carbon tops
Course it’s unfortunate corpses stored in the floor and it’s
Messing up the coordinates unborn fetus aborting it
Might have intended to offend reaction anaphylactic
I got some strong opinions I’ll continue stay problematic

We don’t need names
You’re the new slaves
Lining up their pockets
Inhumane and look who’s talking

Inhumane

@rivilin

Lyrics

Were sick of being just used by the ones that we love
Wont you say a quick pray and give our souls to the wind
So light a match in the dark and reach a hand out to me
Losing grip over time this god gave up easily

A drug fucked mess at the alter, no your prays no they don't, don't deceive me
I'm feeling sick from all this pressure, from the ones who say they care
I watched my family be abandoned by the church who said they'd be their
Even my family that my mother used to love, abandoned her when she was in need

I'm sick of being betrayed by a lover, so disgusted am I
I've became resilient to the affection that they deny through their eyes
Where were you when my mother needed help and my brother was so suicidal back then
I was just a kid trying to keep this family together but it wasn't enough

Tainted my blood with some DNA chains
Addiction runs in me genetical fate

My blood is so tainted
I can't help to crave it
I'm drowning in vomit when I be awakened

Abusing myself and I keep coming back
Sophia I'm sorry I left in a flash
I promise I miss you but shit I got issues
I'm trapped in this cycle of booze with a screw loose

I feel like everyday's the same
I say it every song cuz I mean what I say, aye
Like I'm tryna the face pain
But when its coming in the same wave, everyday
I feel just crushed by weight
Its hard to fucking stand up let alone feel okay
I know I feel disdain
At my own life so I fight it every day

I miss your face
The excited gaze
These autumn leaves, ain't feel the same

I lost it all
I gave it up
For a dream, no regrets, but fuck it sucks

I make mistakes
I feel the pain
Associated with me to blame

My life is fucked
Deep rooted mud
God gave it up, and I had enough

Were sick of being just used by the ones that we love
Wont you say a quick pray and give our souls to the wind
So light a match in the dark and reach a hand out to me
Losing grip over time this god gave up easily

Sophia

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Sophia

Prod. YCK

Convulsive currents going up to my brain
Impulsive urges I cannot seem to train
Static crackled through the dull interference
I would spend so long just to make no appearance
I’d ingested a sedative readily knocked out
Skipping round by the medicine heavily locked down
Dose to dose so I’m thinking lethal
They don’t fuck with me cause I don’t fuck with people
Bugs inside of my body rotten
Not a single warning ever stopped me poppin
Any dose of an undisclosed substance still
Been close to the edge but reluctance kills
Writing for myself my original reason
I ain’t a crowd pleaser no I’m doing little appeasing
Heart’s giving out doing minimal beating
And I’m blind braindead no occipital region

Lips are sealed to tell no lies
I’ll find you there under blackened skies
If I lived in doubt then would I be allowed in
Not one to believe this the words that it preaches
Open my eyelids
Whole life misguided
Draw them in and push em back
I see I leave em frightened
Maybe within time
Gather your insight
I was just misunderstood
To end it all I’m inclined

Everybody wanna act like they’re so involved
Cause even though by then when the tie’s dissolved
Well that don’t matter to a selfish narcissist
And they will keep on showing till they are dismissed
Bother me more in my area code
They wanna ask overstep feel I’m barely alone
Getting cross faded so the hurt is collateral
I don’t see a purpose living I am one incompatible
Member of the public eye what the fuck do you see
Is so attractive about associating with me
I may be biased I don’t find myself open or likable
I’ve been dwelling on the traits that you’d find undesirable
Near to the end so I’m cutting corners
6 more decades craving something shorter
Even if we make it and we’re stacking millions
There will be no other change I’ll be atrabilious

Lips are sealed to tell no lies
I’ll find you there under blackened skies
If I lived in doubt then would I be allowed in
Not one to believe this the words that it preaches
Open my eyelids
Whole life misguided
Draw them in and push em back
I see I leave em frightened
Maybe within time
Gather your insight
I was just misunderstood
To end it all I’m inclined

Misguided, Misunderstood

HATRED (PROD. 5:10)

Thank You For Everything

I'm breaking apart as we go
I've never seen down this road
As the cracks are seeping in
Please, help me within
Maybe it's all  over my head
Feeling like this is the darkest of dread
That I cannot escape
Trade my life if I could save you

What have I done, who have I become
Staring right back at the edge of the gun
What if I stay, look the other way
Saving myself at the end of my days
But know, this ain't the end
Fill my heart with love and suspense
Where were you when I tried

cast your stones, they dont hurt
i’m here at the stake where i like to burn

and it seems like a problem
im drinking this solvent
to fight off my demons
though i want to call it
too much of an addict
a sick alcoholic
i live in disease
Because there’s no cure

wounded wasted
hating this basement
the change in your faces
dont tell me i’m pure
i fought angels
through pleasures and mangers
i wanted the dangers
and i was so sure

What have I done, who have I become
Staring right back at the edge of the gun
What if I stay, look the other way
Saving myself at the end of my days
But know, this ain't the end
Fill my heart with love and suspense
Where were you when I tried

Beautiful Disguise ft. s0cliché

**https://open.spotify.com/artist/6TCjV733jXn7lpc01TkIbV

**https://twitter.com/vyok_v

**https://www.instagram.com/vyok_/


Lyrics:


I, pick myself up

Lose myself cause

I live in irony

Talk too much but...

I feel anxiety

I feel fucked up


What is it you're telling me?

I am not a fan of it

Spoke to the devil and he told me he's not having it

Insanity.

Did it all again and I'm not getting it.



Solopsism slipping in my conscience

Can't feel the endorphins

Get sidetracked into the boredom



I was in the elevator

stare at my reflection

glass broke into shards

began to say my confessions

the lights went dim

I felt the evil in his presence

distorted frequencies

I see him peak in through the crevice.



He asked me for my name and I just stood still

elevator purgatory

I was never fulfilled

Touching my blade, thinking If I'm a person who could kill

It's an option on my list only used for good will


He told me we're not going anywhere without request

my eyes rolled back I had to puff my chest

I could hear them saying my name but I couldn't respond

this elevator trip was lasting way too long.


Now I'm talking to myself

when I'm fucking my health.

and I'm not getting the help

can I really call this wealth?




I say it's not affecting me,

when I got no one next to me

am I being honest

If the devils who's protecting me? 



Puts his hands on my shoulders,

As the elevator goes up,

Make no stops on any floors from 01

The door opens, I never saw the sight of no one.

How can I create and live a life with no love?

VyOk - Elevator (Prod.DISBL1ND x INFELIX)

Teen Romance EP Peep x Lederrick

Album Art by @terroru

lil peep - teen romance (prod lederrick)

Gustav Ahr's Album

giving girls cocaine w/ lil tracy (prod. horsehead)

Smells Like Teen Spirit | Bass Boosted Remix

Lil Peep - R.O.O.T (Peep only)

Prod. Yung Venxm
Artwork: Tom Verse

Lyrics:

KiD KURL
(You are now entering the pits)
There's gonna be a murder tonight
Blood dripping off my scythe
I told you once I told you twice
You cannot run you cannot hide

BABY GOS
Smoking blunts to the face
Blood on my blade but I won't catch a case
Moving too fast 'cause my life is a race
Pardon my anger, my heart and my chest have been filled with this rage
I spill out my heart but you take it and run
I ring over Jonny to borrow his gun
I wanna love but I only feel numb
Honestly momma what have I become?
I sit here in silence don't care about shit
Ain't had no guidance I sit here and sip
So what I might slip?
And empty the clip
And end all your tears i'm sorry for this
The pain it run deeper, say hi to the reaper, he calling your beeper, you don't know What's next
He's here to teach ya, no gospel he preaching, it's hurting me deeply, can't escape in the End

Can't escape in the end

Can't escape in the end

KiD KURL
There's gonna be a murder tonight
Blood dripping off my scythe
I told you once I told you twice
You cannot run you cannot hide

NAMES NOT ANDY
They call me the reaper
The way I be killing these features
My name is Andy, nice to meet ya
(Uh, yeah)
I sneak up inside of your dreams when you sleep
And triple six delete ya
Back in the flesh there's no stopping it
Relax and lose all your consciousness
Messing with me and my bros
Little bitch I will cut off your oxygen

(The way I be killing these features my name is Andy, nice to meet ya)
(I sneak up inside of your dreams when you sleep and triple six delete ya, nice to meet Ya)
(Back in the flesh there's no stopping it, relax and lose all your consciousness)
(Messin' me with me and my bros little bitch I will cut off your oxygen)

its loud in my head •_•

trappedinmymind