rap battl es

matan even VS greta thunberg

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Matan Even

Hey, my turn. Yeah, I just want to nominate
Ms. Greta Thunberg for capturing Andrew Tate.
Now do something useful, something other than
Skipping school and shaking a cardboard sign at the government.

I’m champion of the world, king of the Game Awards
But half of them don’t even believe in what you pay towards
Try changing the people first or you’ll drop sooner
And slowly melt away, that’s just the tip of the Thunberg.

Greta Thunberg

Yeah, Greta Thunberg will soon drop a better verse,
‘Cause I take down groomers, you take spotlights from developers,
Just so you could nominate your rabbi Bill Clinton
But much like that award, you won’t actually be winning!

I changed the world by placing their aim at the climate!
Now the youth are saving the day, and I’m behind it!
While you’re tryna gain traction on Twitch, but you lost relevance
Your time in the Ring is up, it’s gone Elden, bitch!

Matan Even

I know you only spoke when you thought it was necessary
So those lines you wrote were a sign of illiteracy
Speaking of, you’re on the streets like you’re asking for loose change
You sound like you’re currently hitting the griddy for Ukraine

You’re forcing innocents to have a guilty conscience,
While I win every debate just spitting nonsense.
Your movement is useless, so shake fists at Putin.
My impact will always be bigger: carbon footprint

Greta Thunberg

How dare you? I’m making efforts against pollution
Your hairdo is more oily than the whole ocean.
You went from publicity to public harassment!
This is the second time you’ll hear awkward clapping!

It makes sense you got arrested after the show
This is what happens when you recycle lame jokes
When Twitter saw me burning fossils, it wasn’t gas!
They switched the tune to Thunberg, and turned @matanevenoff!

Matan Even VS Greta Thunberg - Rap Battle

Zombie (Plants VS Zombies) VS Zombie (Minecraft)

crusty ass png

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Zombie (PVZ)

Rising up from my grave, I didn’t come to play.
Listen bud, I gotta say that we just ain’t the same.
Killin’ buds, exterminate, but before my lunch break
EA says you gotta pay, Pop a Cap right at your face!

Yeah, I’m facing a pussy like it’s PVZ!
Only waking at night, d’you need a coffee bean?
Using your babies to fight, so to stop you from running out,
I’ll make more waves with your wife, like “the zombies are coming!” Ouch!

Zombie (Minecraft)

This monster spawned before dawn on this bomb beat,
But all that was audible was you, now I’m yawning
‘Cause the problem that I find wrong with this zombie:
Your army falls into line like you’re playing Zombot-lane!

You got a ludicrous legion that lose to lawn mowers!
It don’t take hours for me to bust down a locked door!
Hardcore, like your head I’m popping off fast!
Who knew you’d have so much trouble trying to touch grass!

Zombie (PVZ)

Yeah, I fuck with the plants and I win it, the minute you step in the light you are finished!
You spend your whole night tryna break in a village and still didn’t get in, you ain’t got no bitches!
So listen, your single-hit disses ain’t similar to me freely feasting on greenies for dinner,
Any mob happens to hurt you and you go ballistic, no wonder you’re riding with chickens!

Ooh, call that a critical hit, the way how I come from the top!
Make like your business and sink when I cut you down a Notch!
You’ve Drowned so sleep with the fishes, but you can’t haunt ‘em!
‘Cause when you fight the Zomboss, you end up Zom-bottom!

Zombie (Minecraft)

All of your rhymes cannot hit, they do light damage!
I die to smite enchantments, you die to spud mines planted!
Ain’t got no weakness, just strength. Do harm? It’s healthy to me!
Minecraft’s making massive money, you’re stuck in the Loonboonies!

My fans are frivolous, your fans forgot your franchise!
I thought you’d be happy to wither like when a plant dies!
I’d tell you to stay dead and release ZackScott’s soul, but
You try to revive and still decline. “Bruhhh” moment.

Zombie VS Zombie - Rap Battle

Bo Burnham (Youtube) VS Brian David Gilbert (Youtube)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Bo Burnham

Welcome To The Internet! What would you like to see? 
An actual comedian, or a niche copy?
I’m a YT classic, bringin’ white-kid raps and 
Compared to your parody parables, I’m pacing faster!

Katy Perry, ask her who knew YouTube's past, sir! 
I made people laugh for years, you're me but sadder!
I don't need a ladder, I climb the Vine with wordplay! 
Your skits are so dramatic, it's like they were a word play!

Of course, I know that I'm turn, turn, turn-
-in’ thirty but I got the Words, Words, Words,
To hit you hard with my verse, verse, verse.
It’ll hurt, but That's How The World Works!

Brian David Gilbert

Listen, I’m a bit perplexed, so it’s time to start Unravelling,
You went from a white kid, to naked Monster Factory
And I see that Bo is just a stage name, where did it come from?
Sorry, we’ll get back to this tangent, imagine a blackened screen then- jump cut!

It’s rough but I have lots of dedicated fans, 
Educated packs of people with PokeRaps at PAX!
While you pander to posse’s of posers
Puttin’ you on a pedestal you don’t deserve, that’s Sad!

BDG, Ragtag meme with a modest following, 
Rapping ‘gainst this trashy comic with tragic comedy!
Flows so spicy like pepcorn, you know I’m keepin’ the heat up!
Though Bo’s got no knowhow for how shows run so he Repeats Stuff!

Bo Burnham

Unlike all your jokes, that’s funny considering
Within a Polygon, this dumb square couldn’t fit in!
I challenge thoughts with comic songs, we’re not the same!
You make videos about games, so watch yourself getting played!

Brian David Gilbert

Let’s see, on MTV you wrote Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous,
But I don’t think that they knew past Bo was a bit racist!
Bo Burnham’s close to burning, so better be on the lookout
‘Cause you’re under fire for being offensive like it’s Klan Kookout!

Bo Burnham

Only sorcery can fix that hideous (Fucking look!)
But magic isn’t real, you idiot (Read a book!)
And since you’re a nerd, I‘ll set the guidelines (Listen now!)
Rereading Hyrule Hystoria several times (Doesn’t count!)

Art Is Dead, and you’re definitely proof of it, ‘cause
Covering ABBA as Drac won’t make you relevant, but
Here’s an idea, make a new pair of those ugly jorts,
‘Cause much like your fame, you should be used to cutting short!

Brian David Gilbert

What are you on about, my vids get the fans viewing!
From collabs and dance moves to gourmands and Dances Moving!
And I know Covid hoisted both of us out of order,
But you feel and smell like shit… wait that’s it! Bo comes from Body Odor!

I don’t need to wear hats with how much you be capping!
Take a tip from your friend Bezos if you wanna battle rap me!
Wanna Make Happy? Then stop being such a cynic!
God has cursed you for your hubris, but your work is more than finished!

Bo Burnham VS Brian David Gilbert - Rap Battle

MoistCr1TiKaL (Youtube) VS Dave Strider (Homestuck)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

lyric document because soundcloud is stinky, p u!!! 🤢🤢
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tvrP1ErnxlIjO2ZppVmVd3XkwQdZWTdJKuyjxzPaX38/edit

MoistCr1TiKaL VS Dave Strider - Rap Battle

Morbius (Morbius) VS Goncharov (Goncharov 1973)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: ethnik

Morbius

Goncharov don’t know what he is messin’ with.
I mean that literally, his fans are schizophrenic kids.
With how much you adore foreshadowing, I’ll give you a warning. Why?
I know you lost your pocket watch, but check the clock, it’s Morbin’ Time.

Mm, Michael Morbius is swarming this poorly-stitched
Together film with more bats than lore-crazy fans his story spit.
I’m over all this boring shit. Just ask Scorsese.
The gap between your fans and mine. One to a Morbillion, baby.

When it comes to films of all time, Morb is the staple.
While the fans' interest has gone cold like Winters Come To Naples.
Right, so if you didn’t not exist, then why did we forget?
You’re the Mandela Effect for, well… the Mandela Effect.

Goncharov

With the Madness of your Multiverse, any rhyme couldn’t hurt
From MoistCr1TiKal of the meth head universe.

Goncharov: The Best Mafia Movie Ever Made.
I’m the joke, yet you came out on April Fool’s Day.
With a plot so messy, it’s hard to believe a sweep’s there.
Your acting and your rapping is too slow, have a wheelchair.

You thought your name would be heard all around the world.
But nowadays, people turn your name into a verb

Morbius

Urgh, stand back! I’m starting to morph!
You’ve already died, so I’m sure you’re friendly with the morgue!
What’s the mild mob to the main Morb, we’re not equals
When Cubbins is comin’ and pumpin’ out a new sequel

My Morbheads got my back, you can’t touch me.
There’ll be choirs when I flash a rap attack so fast like Morbiussy

Goncharov

Think you’ll win? Heh. This idiot hasn’t seen Goncharov.
I set up shots then I fire like I’m called Gun-Chekhov.
I’m sorry we don’t see eye to eye, I was busy that weekend.
You fumbled Twitter, while I caused Tumblr’s cultural reset.

They call me Lo Straniero, but I think that you're stranger.
Even when giving out gifts, there is still lingering danger.
With how Leto’s bringing cults Thirty Seconds to Mars,
Michael, you’re not just mid, you’re Midsommar.

Bo Burnham VS Brian David Gilbert - Rap Battle

rosenthalfishes