Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have musical entities that cause stress to those who come across them; Mad Piano from Big Boo’s Haunt in Super Mario 64 versus Bop It, 90’s audio toy sensation. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Mad Piano
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonarchyVA / https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/olithemonarchy
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/oli-the-monarchy

Eric the Audible as Bop It
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@EricTheAudible
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/erictheaudible
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/central-rap-battles  

-LYRICS-

Mad Piano (0:09)
Yo! Looking for eight coins? There’s one to your left!
But it’s not the only thing I have covered in red
I’ll bop you ‘til you shatter! Make your circuitry bleed sparks
Plus you’ll find the key of my teeth… B#
See this chair? Sit down, take the polite road
Soprano C, you’re gonna scream out on a high note
I'm not settling, I demolish a score
I keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging!
It’s like this Dizaster got me paying homage to Cort
See these coffins falling? Next thing you know, you’re falling in yours
On the topic of court; for being lame, you've stood accused
I'm not judging when these shelves start throwing books at you
Had a little fad and just kept extending that
It's like Simon Said "instead of memory, test their attention span"
Between the cash grabs and narrators so obnoxious
I got a command for you!... stop it.

Bop It (0:54)
Did I rattle your cage, dude? You’re Mad cuz I’m way smooth
Piano should stay tuned! I’m naturally playin’ you!
Wanting red? I’ll leave you spinning. You gotta be kidding
Thinking you’re the grand type... You’re more MIDI
You move so slow, I circle you with no running
If you hear boos around you, It’s not your ghost buddies
Haven’t you realized I’m twisted yet?
Fitnessgram shit; I'll make sure Suicide Drills in your head
You’re the least scary thing in your “sCaRy oLd hOuSe”
Walking wobbly like you hopped off the merry-go-round
Wait, yeah, you belong in that kinda room
There's been a remake and a port: this piano’s on loop (c’mon!)
More per minute, you’re getting b-b-beaten
You couldn’t hit me in Smash R-R-Remix
Save the jumpscare, you won’t pull it with me
After your little lullaby, I’m going to sleep!

-CREDITS-

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by 2Deep
Beat purchased by Fightmarker

Feedback by TheMonarchy, Fightmarker, Syroquise, and the spaceship
Shoutout to RacconBroVA, Dilly, TaigaTonic, Dani, Sculpture_, and the Smash Remix team

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Bop It vs Mad Piano | Rap Battle (HARB)

Puss in Boots

Fear me if you dare I’m Puss in Boots! 

I'm a versatile cat, you're a loosey goose!

I'm a living legend, I faced down death!

You're a fat house pet, who puts John in debt.


If you've come for a bounty, you won’t leave alive 

Like your ratings when movie reviews took a dive

I see no need to continue, let me drink my leche

Antes de que me convierta en tu muerte


Garfield 

Zzzzzz(snoring) oh is it my turn to rap?

Against a cat, who doesn’t even have the claws to scratch(Puss in Boots-Prrrrr)

Your a Has-been legend time to hang up those boots 

You got 9 lives? More like 9 bad reboots


You got ditched like your marriage when you got softpaws

Then scratched up an ogre ordered by his father in law

You scrambled your friendships now, who's the bad egg?

Now If you think I’m all ears than I’m straight up death 


Puss in Boots

Me sorprende que tu hambre de victoria es poca 

La historia del gato con diabetes contra el gato con botas 

Yo soy peligroso, tus ataques no me dañan , 

me robé el escenario, tu te atragantas con lasaña 


Garfield

Zzzzz OH! We’re still going?

Let me switch my flow just how switched with a donkey

Joined three diablos that was a no no

And this why…..why um zzzzzzzzz (Puss in boots

!Ay, Díos mío!)

https://youtu.be/GXZBEKUHQiI?si=faUz8EWxXcLaKwSf


Puss in Boots-Cyancoat

Garfield-Thanosquack

Writing-Aj,We think

Mixing-Jort

Demo-Captain Jorge

Beat-Andrey Rossi



Puss In Boots vs. Garfield- Quick Rap Battles (Ft.CyanCoat, ThanosQuack)

So basically this battle is intended as a send-off to the audio only era of my battle making career. I want to release my battles with videos from now on, as I develop the ability to edit and also level up my general skill enough to make videos worth it. This battle was written close to a year ago, and it's been stuck in development hell for a while, but I hope you enjoy it in an "end of an era" kind of way.

Kat Toony as Queen
Lexi M. as Megamind
Kamren as Berdly
RaccoonBroVA as Reporter
Written by Alchemyking & Kat Toony
Additional help by SIR Rap Battles
Art by Valonide & WAN
Beat by ToneJonez
Arrangement by Hazelmoth
Mixing by Jort
Cover art by M!CAH

Queen:
(Queen laugh)
They Say Megamind Is The Greater Mind
With The Crazy Rhymes To Be Caged Inside? Please Don’t Waste My Time
Stay In Line, I’ve Got Only One Blue Brain In Mind
(Like yours truly?) By My Calculations, Mine (oh.)
For A Genius You Lack Great Pronunciation
My Database Comes With Language Applications
And A Mansion! You Spend Your Vacations
In A Prison, Tryna Break Into Your Basement
Came To Scoop That Reporter? 
Well News Flash!
She Was Duped By A Dude She Knew 
In A Crude Plan To Let You Smash?
I Would’ve Blue Balled Your Blue Ass
You’ve Been Thrashed Past Your Initial Defeat
When Minion Gets Beat By Despicable Me
But Oh You Saved Yourself… And It Got Me Snoring
The Only Fountain That Can’t Cause A Roaring

Megamind:
A big bad computer? I’m shaking in my custom leather boots!
That’s something you can’t do without tripping over and getting bruised
I leave cities in devastation, so like my hologram, go ahead and face it:
This old PC’s more like PowerPoint if we’re talking PRESENTATION!
And Minion’s helped more in a bowl than that gamer’s done
He’s thirsty like I shot the dehydration gun
I’m a monument to villains who get redeemed
Your statue’s built on the dreams of a petty dweeb (HEY!)
To your citizens’ plight, you’re lazy
Don’t need bananas, you’re already crazy!
Meh… you caged me.
I’ll just do what your chapters can’t when I break free!
Now I know he’s my nemesis, and I don’t want to agree with Tighten’s thinking
But there’s no Easter bunny, no tooth fairy, and no Queen of Cyber City
Just a layabout, no one even knows your name
Take you out, but we’re not playing mobile games
In the end, you’re a giant waste
I’ve seen more evil electronics from a microwave!

Queen:
Look, I’ve Seen Outdated Memes Leave Both Our Fandom Teens In Stitches 
But Even With Their “Penis Music” Yours Still Get No Bitches 
With Where You’re At It’s No Shocker
That The Golden Boy Soaks Up The Fame That You’ve Never Had
You’re Not Allergic To Copper
So You Should Be Happy That You’ll Never Stack Up To Metro Man
Talk ‘Bout My Chapters? Let’s Tear Your Part 2 Apart
Just Like Your Syndicate It Was Doomed From The Start
Did Your Writers Get Hit With The Forget Me Stick?
Now You're As Tired And Washed Up As The True Bernard
Now You Pander In A Play To Get Clicks
I Got A Werewire If You Want To Stay Connected

Queen?
But… I’m No Better With Social Media
Governing My Subjects With The Lies I Keep Feeding ‘Em

(The fake Queen is revealed as Megamind, using his disguise watch)

Megamind:
(Huh?) PSYCH! Got you, so stay mad!
I could raise Lancer better if I played as Space Dad
But… I don’t really need to mess with my watch
When I could fool you with my head in a box!
And speaking of “box-in”, get your record straight
Can’t handle booze, and you say you’re a heavyweight?
Well, I suppose that’s the last of it…
(Hey, a hero! Get your cameras quick!) BACK AWAY FROM ME, YOU SAVAGES!
It is simply so maddening
Go focus on the freakshow that her palace is!
She’s so toxic that her baked goods are “ass-idic”!
Forget her traffic; she’s practicing human trafficking!
You couldn’t match to my intellect, and now the deed’s done
I’ll carry you to the Romanian outlet store and demand a REFUND!


Queen vs Megamind - AK Rap Battles!

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

DEMO RECORDED: 10th January 2022

Beat by Epistra
Art by LimJJ
Cover by M!CAH
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pinkie:
Oh my gosh, is that Komi-san trying to own me on this rap beat?
You're a lonely fraud who only wants to form a bond but she can't speak
This so-called ‘god’ isn't what she seems: beneath those looks she's a troubled teen
But I've got a little trick up my sleeve to turn this introvert into someone like me!
Name is Pinkie Pie!
Repping laughter, something you cannot bring (Ay!)
You ain't even fly!
‘Cause you chicken out when Yamai tries to swing! (Ay!)
Must be thinking why
You got ditched on a trip and you didn't attend it (Why?)
‘Cause you're freakin’ shy!
Took you 15 years before you were befriended! (Ooooh!)
From the cannon I'm firing; joy, I'm providing it! Your looks are inciting violence 
The friends you made on your entire list only use you to fulfill their requirements!
Don't be denying it, silly! They just hang around you because you took pity
It's really a shame, when you farm for affection you couldn't rock hard like I did as a filly!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                         - A Note from the Creator -

To tide things over during this content drought of mine, I figured I'd showcase an excerpt of a scrapped battle I was working on very early in my rap battle journey - that being Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony vs Komi-San from Komi Can't Communicate. This was around the time the first season of the anime started making the rounds and because I enjoyed it so much, I opted to read much further ahead into the manga and decided I wanted to do something with the series. 

My mind drifted to Pinkie Pie as the opponent, as the idea of putting a really extroverted character who likes making friends up against a very shy character with a goal of making a lot of friends made for a fun narrative in my head. Since Komi Can't Communicate demonstrated a gradual progression of Komi's character as she opens up more to people, I thought it would be a cool idea to translate that arc with Pinkie as the driving force in a rap battle. 

The structure went as follows: Pinkie would start with a traditional verse, then Komi's verse would start with her being too shy to speak, which prompts Tadano to step in and rap for her. Pinkie's role in the battle would've been to slowly get Komi out of her shell as latter becomes more confident in her rapping ability, with the second Komi verse featuring Tadano rapping alongside her, and the final verse ending with Komi being able to rap by herself. The concept of a story battle was exciting to me at the time, but it was unfortunately too ambitious for what I was able to pull off, so I was only able to write the one verse.

I later pivoted to Pinkie vs Najimi Osana (also from Komi Can't Communicate) instead as they were both extroverted characters with many friends, but ultimately I decided on scrapping the battle entirely as my initial hype for the Komi series wore off over time. Still, I want to publicly preserve this as a way to bookmark where I was at the time when it came to making rap battles, and I hope you enjoy this exclusive look into what could've been. 

SCRAPPED 1ST VERSE DEMO - Pinkie Pie vs Komi-San

Welcome back everyone today we have a battle between two masters of disaster and chaos , on the left corner we have the looniest tune the talk of the town lately in animation communities, Acme’s number one client and on the right corner, you’ve seen him and you’ve followed his orders , he’s always there ready for road-trips and always willing to signal the warnings, that’s right it’s Caution Guy , who will win stick around to find out 

- the Thinker 

CAST: 
ego as Wile E. Coyote 
GreenOwl as Caution Guy 

CREW: 
Written by WeThink 
Art by EatMoPizza & Trav Shark 
CoverArt by WHOZPHANTOM 
Mixed by Zagranis 
Special thanks to : Theme Park Avenue 

Lyrics:

*Bomb will explode in 3…2…1* 


Wil E Coyote 
Huh…it didn’t explode, sigh, what a waste 
But this will certainly blow up in your face 
I’ve seen you around never took you for a rapper 
Take it one step further, never took you for a character 

Always preaching the rules this stickman is a stickler 
Funny how even myself is better at painting a picture 
And believe me you don’t wanna draw gainst a toon 
And if I let you touch the track I bet it’ll go KABOOM!

Caution Guy: 
On every road across the globe, I uphold a noble purpose 
While the only law your validate, is if we talking Murphy’s 
Spend half a century trying to hunt with no improvement 
Why eat the bird when you have so much beef with Newton (huh) 

Phone it with ACME. They’ve put you thru ringer 
You could meet your maker. He’d give you the finger 
And you got the movie greenlit? That is impressive now 
All you had to do was become the mascot of a  Twitter crowd 

Wile E Coyote: 
Preaching your importance man, ain’t really a smart move 
As the only place you actually matter is the bathroom 
C’mon wiseguy even I find a better use for signs (Aight) 
You’re cat-like but this pussy has more than nine lives 

And what is the deal with those lines you shoe in 
Yet again you’re the perfect example of what not to do , kid 
On the track I’m fast and furry-ous better wear your safety belt 
But much like it’s custom, you just can’t save yourself 

Caution Guy: 
Whatever man, I don’t believe what you’re imposing 
Cuz I was the Fall Guy way before Ryan Gosling 
While you’re the mutt , the butt of every joke (ouch) 
Shocked when I hand you the mic it doesn’t fucking explode 

This is just another time you fall flat dude 
Sad that your claim to fame was chasing fast food 
Jones’s legacy’s been Chucked now you’re a falling hazard 
Caution: (that’s all folks) Dead end ahead for this jackass

Wile E. Coyote vs Caution Guy ft. ego & iGreenOwl

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom vs Herobrine (Eddsworld vs Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
Egomanic as Jumbo Josh

Lyrics Written by: Capitan Jorge, Third Coming of Christ, Cidisswo
Additional Writing by: TheToppo
Audio Mixed by Jordy


[Lyrics]:

RAP BATTLE
NAGITO KOMAEDA
VS
JUMBO JOSH
BEGIN

[0:10 - 0:52] Nagito Verse 1 [16 Bars]
I think I am talentless, then I look at this ape
Your only skill's your strength, yet those seem lacking on your game
(ugh) I have heard and I'm aware that I'm the worst
But at least I'm not dumb enough to smash Banban's girl!
Can't even say you're a stepping stone, your garten shows what hopeless is!
Your creepy-ass is going out there holding kids as hostages!
Made out of clay, yet someone should break the mold
'Cause it's clear a worker's lift ain't enough to lift your worker's hopes
(ugh!) You’re fucking shallow, I’d say prepare for your sad death
But I could spend hours stabbing you and you still wouldn’t have depth
Though how much you change sides proves your plot's got more holes
Storytelling ain't your forte, can't even tell humans from dolls
Even if you count mine, your genre is a worse cancer
Compare our robot bears and hand the L to Freddy Fazbear
I know you don't fare well with traps, so say farewell to this trap beat
Taken care of a warehouse, this trashy scare house won' t trap me!

[0:52 - 1:13] Jumbo Josh Verse 1 [8 Bars]
It's Jumbo Josh, brah. You better watch, dude
Want some isolation? Let me take you to my watch room!
To eat your veggies and fruits is what I would tell you
But you feed off attention so eating healthy wouldn't help you!
Your dog got hit by a car, you’re no Family Guy,
Because your parents got fried 40k feet in the sky.
Now you brain’s messed up ever since you lost your mama,
Getting off to Hope, like you got a Crush on Obama.

[1:13 - 1:34] Nagito Verse 2 [8 Bars]
I know I lost my parents, and that I'm just a faker
But it's sadder that this buffoon is a joke to his own creators!
(Haha!) Your watchroom ain't shit compared to Jabberwock
When a fucking jellyfish and a cat are your worst opps!
  It’s funny you think you can leave a scratch on me
When the last thing that crushed on you left injuries on your body!
Though, didn’t think anyone would look at this thing and obsess, 
Since you treat your own friends and women like objects!

[1:34 - 2:15] Jumbo Josh verse 2 [16 Bars]
(Uh!) Seems this time you failed at bringing down the house with fire!
(Uh!) Only gas you’re lighting is to your friends, you big liar!
You're just hopeless and hoeless, know the answer, bro?
'Cause your crush on Hinata turns Jabberwock to Jabberwoke!
You worship the talented, knowing you're not shit
But I know my words won't hurt you more than you already did
The way you talk ‘bout hope makes it seem like it's something you own
But your beliefs fall flatter than how I'd leave your bones
Got a million diseases, now your frail body’s dropping
Next time you’re in an octagon, I’ll make sure it’s your coffin
I'm rolling in the green, while you dress like a hobo 
I took the scene where you died and watched that shit in slo-mo
I'm a cold blooded unaliver and you got me pissed
So I'll take my fists and pulverize a twink to red mist
After I crush you flat, I'm leaving with a massive grin
Cause now Garten Of Banban just took a Jumbo-sized win!

Jumbo Josh VS. Nagito Komaeda - Cidisswo Rap Battles

Eric the Audible as Waldo
Gridline Rap Battles as Agent 47
Beat produced by MIDES
Written by Trakked and Worms
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Rytchiee and SkydivingQuagga
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

Waldo: (0:10)
Hey, I'm glad you found me, but now you're ‘bout to regret it
I’m bout to set a new record, wrap your mission up in seconds
So get ready for a lesson, I ain’t favoring crooks
But if you wanna learn to hide, then take a page from my book
Wearin’ them red and white stripes cuz I'm the flyest dude
I got this on and I don’t even need a tie and suit
That dome is shining, they can see through your disguises, too
IOI needs to head back into the writer’s room (yuh)
You’re tryna get your Wood to Burn
But your handler’s abandoned you at every single turn
Yeah, me and Diana, man, we're sharing a bed
Cuz the amount of game you got is like the hairs on your head
(Oh) Five fathers, but no love, you’re from a test tube
Man, you were built for everybody to forget you
I might go back in hiding when it's time for your rapping
So make like your title and stay Silent, Assassin
 
Agent 47: (0:57)
Don't be alarmed. I'm here to finish business.
I'd appreciate it if you would quit your resistance. 
Sit and listen; I’ve got lines for this eyesore,
With rhymes so divine that you’ll find they’re to die for.
So why don't I pour you a drink?
Your confusion’s understood; this happens more than you think.
Let’s have a toast. Let the moment be adorned with a clink
You'll fall down on the ground. It happens more than you think.
It’s circumstantial how I dress, you keep your outfit on forever.
Needless to say, your clothes don’t depend on the weather.
I wouldn’t be against painting more red on your sweater,
And you will never forget that I’m wearing both your colors better.

Waldo: (1:22)
Don't dog my fit; I'll take your job real quick with my famed garb
I don’t need a costume to stay under the radar
You think your sins are forgiven because you pray hard?
Your next mission should be living behind jail bars
Put down the fiber wire, we both know that you choked
So put on that clown costume ‘cuz all I see is a joke (damn!)
It seems Tobias couldn't Riep what he sowed
Hold your ducky tight and make like Grey’s head and explode

Agent 47: (1:43)
Your files are the only book with your name that I've opened. 
Your brother hates you and you don’t know how to cope with it.
You're hopeless and moping and your relationships are broken
But I'll be sure to give your girlfriends my condolences.
We both travel the globe, but I make a visible difference. 
If you visited my home you would be dealt with in minutes.
There wouldn't be a single witness since my target’s alone with me.
I have yet to break my cover since this nobody’s noticed me.
I toppled Providence and it appeared to be happenstance
I'll be bashing your glasses and make it look like an accident
So be glad that this happened; send your goodbyes in a letter
Because I just found a way to make you disappear forever.


Waldo vs Agent 47 - Rap Cypher #47

LunaticmoonVA as Vaggie
Mochii as Undyne
Written by: Ego
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

UNDYNE!!!!

VS!!!!

VAGGIE!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Undyne]
Fuhuhuhuhu
En garde, Undyne attacks, flee, demon
(Ngahhh) Royal guard, we go high like when she’s singing
(Ngahhh) You take more orders than Grillby’s, you’re adams bitch
Hid the genocides from Charlie now shes got you playing pacifist
Listen, brat, you won’t humiliate me
I’m the only underground rapper in the main stream
Understand, Vagatha, you’ll be history like manga
When I leave you like your past, filled with extermination

[Vaggie]
I’m sorry, what the fuck was all that?
Step in hell, and you’ll collapse in seconds, like the hotlands
You’re the leader of the royal guard? Fuck that shit
I've seen better heroine in Angel’s drug stashes
Hate to tell you, but life ain’t anime, Un
You’re not an Alphys, this fish is a betta
Your fans harassing lets players, is what's getting them off?
I'll do what Markiplier couldn't and finish you off

[Undyne the Undying]
The wind howls, as the waterfall flows
The tragic tale of our people, started long long ago
No, why don’t I spare you with the details of our kind
When I could spear you and put X’s on both your eyes cuz YOU’RE GONNA DIE
I’m Undyne the undying, run for your life
Out for LV but you get none, CUT like a lime
You’re a friendless, self loathing, punk, I despise
Like a trust fall, you let down everyone in your life
I’m the crime fighter, putting Charlie's Angel in her place
Here's a jape, I’ll play a game of tic tac toe on your face!
LETS FINISH THIS, no one can deter my determination 
Even Papyrus’s pasta ain’t as tasteless as your name is

[Vaggie]
You got that out? You’re pathetic, you know that?
They call it under tail cuz you can’t get your head out your own ass
You melted away like your house cooking, when you tried stopping Frisk
I saved a kid from monsters, you could barely save a Monster Kid
I’d rather do battle with Shyren, at least her lyrics hit hard
This fish tanked, and you wanna put me in a box?
This angel turned you into dust, like the human did
Kept an eye out for Papyrus, now both of you are pupil-less

Vaggie vs Undyne (Hazbin Hotel vs Undertale) - Ego Rap Battles

Swizkii as William Afton
Jort as Ghostface
Grasman as Billy Loomis
Grasman as Stu Macher

(Ghostface)
Uh hello? Is Mr. “Raglan” on the phone?
I’m not looking for a job, just wondering if you’re home 
then I’ll leave you a threat, I'll leave your guts slashed out
then this is the part with the abstract background

Ghostface! Catch your life as my knife bursts
30 years strong and I’m still not retired 
Can’t kill an adult, so you sent out your kid 
I’m gutting them like a fish, all while serving a diss 

Man, I know who you are, the secrets you keep
The glasses you wear, thinking that you were discrete 
Having no motivation can be sometimes dire 
But god, Scott, please hire more writers!

(Steve Raglan):
Scream 7s in the trash, you might wanna ask me for a job
But it’s not that easy, sense you and that pog-face fell off 
I started off strong, got the audience to love me
You started off strong, but fell off by ‘Scary Movie’!

I’m Steve Raglan, I spend my time counseling’
stuff you in the back of my car, and leave you rotting in it
you’re a high schooler? Not my first choice for strangling
but I’ll make an exception and leave your greasy hair dangling’ (ahem)

I'm a smash hit! Check the box office breaks.
You’re a smash hit! When a TV falls on your face!
So sit, sit, sit, I’ve got a tip for you,
Get out with the old, and in with the new.

(Ghostface):
almost a decade for that? man, your film's the worst
I ain’t waiting 8 years for a second verse
Oh you started off strong? I’m all for twisting the plot
but the only people you’re manipulating are bots!

And we don’t even have to frame you for the crimes that you did!
Just show the cops the bodies that you so hastily hid
And the evidence that shows them how you ruined your kid
What was your game plan?, like what, did you think;

I’ll lure the desperate Mike into this trap that I spring
Just to show up last minute and stick a knife in my kid?
and let me guess, a last minute reveal that you’re the killer
Just to monologue your motive like some amature thriller?

Man I’m 6 movies deep, and I’m still making em’ scream
You couldn’t get people shouting with your 6 minutes on screen! 
Keep creeping on kids, you ain't threatening to me 
A cupcake brought you down worse than EDP!

And the kids ain’t scared either, you ain’t fooling no one 
Acted all scary and was taken down by Crayola 
So maybe tighten up those springs when you  come out to play
Or you'll be another soul getting dragged away 

------PAUSE-–DIALOGUE---------

STU MACHER:
Uhh.. houston, we have a problem


GHOSTFACE (BILLY LOOMIS):
What?!

Billy Loomis violently takes off the ghostface mask he was wearing. 

STU MACHER:
He was.. He was right there a second ago

BILLY LOOMIS:
You’ve got to be KIDDING ME

STU MACHER:
My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me…

—----—————————————----------

(William Afton as The Yellow Rabbit):

You couldn’t just leave it alone could you, this is perfect!!
I’m dropping this ghoul way faster than Ortega did 
You wanna’ play movies, here’s the best ending to me;
Both of you morons in the grave; now that’s symmetry! 

You dragged on so long, now they don’t know what to do
Looks like your writers got even sloppier than you!
Failed to get a shot on Sid, while I stacked kills! (HAHAHAHA)
You had one job, yet you couldn't do it in six films! 

critiqued a genre and then you became what you dissed
how about instead of your voice, you maybe change up your twists!
I opened up a place of joy that the children enjoyed
The only joy out of your films is you getting destroyed!

Look at you, look at the franchise you’ve become!
You’ve got your fans leaving faster than your mom  
So keep whining on how they exposed my trap
but you stay dead I always come back!

"Steve Raglan" VS Ghostface- RAP BATTLE. ft. Swizkii & Jort

Art in the banner by Grenade, Banner made by SPM
Owned by Trakked
Discord: @trakked