everything at once, at once
ive won, at what cost?
everything is falling down now
guess u were just a femme fatale 

scars on my arm 
in my heart 
i’ll try not to say it’s ur fault 
i don’t know where I’m going 
they’re trying to show me 

i lie awake 
at night 
visions in my mind 

i promise i’m trying
the magic doesn’t work and im dying  
i can’t sleep 
when im thinking of you 
why be so cruel 

filling the void 
living to survive 
crystals in my eyes 
running out of time 
everyone’s against me, decalcify 
i can’t help but feel like
im running out of time 

i lie awake
at night 
visions in my mind 
im by myself 
once again
broken

decalcify imperfect

demo from like march or april 2022

lyrics:
god it was the worst feeling
to see you hanging in that tree
wish i could get those moments back
all that we could've done
if you were still here
now my conscience returns to the forest
i will meet you again

aokigahara

Burned Out Bright - Disturbing

another demo for my slowcore project dry eyes

i dont want to let go (demo)

model planes - kevin are you ok? (live)

opener - awakebutstillinbed live 9/13

You Wont Find Me Here

just try not to read into it too much?

how long will it take

miserable and agony

The title of this album my attempt at translating the Farsi phrase قارچ‌های غربت to English. It comes from the poem "The Sound of Water's Footsteps" by Iranian poet Sohrab Sepehri. 

A more literal translation of the phrase would be Mushrooms of "Ghurba", an originally Arabic word that has several meanings, including senses of estrangement, alienation, loneliness, being away for home, and longing.

I composed many of these pieces during and after Israel's 12 day war on Iran in the summer of 2025. Being  an Iranian living abroad for 15 years, I had never felt Ghurba the way I felt it this summer, as I realized more and more that Iranian lives matter to exactly no one.
Ghurba and all its meanings overshadow most of the pieces in this album. 

The music heard on this post is the final track, which is an improv piece with the same title as the album.

In the album art, I tried to depict a mycelial network creeping up the piano and my body, and expanding into the ground, maybe a thread or two reaching the other side of the world where home is.

As Sepehri's poem says "Who cares if sometimes the mushrooms of ghurba start to grow?" 

You are right Sohrab, nobody does...

Improv 8 - Lullaby for the Benches

bedroom screamo project est 2021
https://linktr.ee/brightlittlestars_ 

i dont want to let go (demo)

bright, little stars