Multi-Millionaire Adult Entertainer Hugh Hefner faces against Children's Entertainer Pee-wee Herman in our newest rap battle.

TewZen as Hugh Hefner
Mat4yo as Pee-wee Herman

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
HUGH HEFNER
VS
PEEWEE HERMAN
BEGIN!

Hugh Hefner:
The difference between Playboy and Playhouse is simple
You took my title and stuck a “with” in the middle
I’ll have to riddle ‘gainst a little kid who didn’t take his Ritalin
and giggles like his nipples got twisted but thinks it’s tickling
Wishing Miss Yvonne would kiss you “right where it hurts, ma’am”
But with that Pee-Wee, you’ll never be Her Man
Your Rising Action Climaxed in the previews
when Peewee was “cumming in theaters near you”

Peewee Herman:
HAHA, a bunny suits you well
the way you hop around town playing show and tell!
Making beds rock out of wedlock of the law,
I don’t know how you keep it up with that pin above your balls!
‘Cause your pals are only palimonies, after you’re deceased
You’ll be a veteran remembered as an Editor in Chief!
You’re a Crooked Man and I’m gonna subscribe you to the Bible
and override your Bi-cycle with my bicycle!

Hugh Hefner:
You’re schizophrenic mess who’s poisoning a generation
Try and gaze at my mansion while you’re enslaved in your basement
‘Cause you’re a nerd hippie, I’m a strapping geriatric gladiator
and i’ll have you running like a fidgety refrigerator
Crank all the prank calls you think won’t tank
‘till you underpay the interest accrued in your Spank Bank
You think you’re forgotten from watching me lay it down?
No, I just had more “versatile” toys in my playhouse

Peewee Herman:
Not ONE good joke! Guess you can’t Stand Up!
Plus, you might “stop motion” if your heart rate goes nuts!
I know the mind of a child and I’ll use it to crack your code
and add some 49 more shades of red to your bathrobe!
with a tip of the hat I’ll be tipping your boat
if you’re joking, I’ll be literally coming at your throat
now we both play with plastic toys but why?
I know you are, butt! What am I?
it’s sad your form of literature is Otherkins on Calendars.
You’re no entrepreneur, your category is Amateur!
I’ll force you in your drawer in the morgue with those loose screws
‘cause we all scream when we see you as if the secret word was HUGH!


Hugh Hefner vs Pee-wee Herman

Original Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFz3XBVOaic

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Starring
Light as the Grinch
Fle as Shrek

The Grinch:
The people of Whoville are nothing put next
To this pompous swamp-monster known only as Shrek
“Why”, you all blare, do I oh-so-hate him?
Behind all those layers he’s beyond Ogre-rated
Tasteless, I may have stole Christmas, in fact; 
You took everything ‘Disney’ and wrapped it with trash 
Even happened to nab Seuss’ Cat in the Hat
And before you drag on, tell your ass to stay back 

Shrek:
Donkey, see, something uglier than me!
GET OUT MY SWAMP! GET OFF MY BEAT! 
Hey, list em; Head’s twisted, Lyrically, nay gifted
You suck at wrapping, that’s why you resent Christmas 
I’m shreking fools; take your fur and deck the halls 
Ya heart’s not the only thing two sizes too small
Somebody once told me this hairy sock wants trouble 
You must’ve been cursed by your fairy godmother;
You were one in a million; a classic written for children 
Nowadays you’ve been plastered next to a billion Minions 

The Grinch:
You’re a monster, that said, I think you should retire 
Halloween already has a Mike Myers
Ech, a reboot of this snotty disaster? 
Say bye to your Happily Ever After

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Aggron:
RAAAAAAH! It's Time for some vengeance! 
I’ll just Smack Down this 8-bit Godzilla reference
Destruction in my presence, mightier than the sword! 
Let’s make sure this gets through that hard head of yours 
I’ll rip through one of the two pseudos that aren’t Dragons
Because I drop bars harder than the stones I’m dragging!
So as you’re Dragon your Tail this fight’s leaving you maimed
You chase the Dragons that run the metagame! 
Strip you of your pseudo title! I’m the most deserving
So weak that you call for friends - Now that’s Unnerving 
You’re crazy if you rap, forget about the second half
All I need’s a Heavy Slam to blast this hack in half! 

Tyranitar:
You wanna see something crazy? I’ll make this intense! 
Let’s commence fighting against your iron defense 
I’ll dumb this one down so this tin man can understand 
I’m the original Groudon I’m so dominant on land! 
Aggronite won’t bring a fight, you’re just wasted hype
Earthquake right in your face! Make you keep that rock type!
When Kalos came around and your usage was fading
You found solace as a punching bag in Super Training! 
You know it’s sad when defense is your only point to boast
It’s like when you try to fight a fire type: you’re toast!
Armor’s falling apart, you’re Timid we met again
Like the ORAS postgame you’ve reached a disappointing end 

Aggron:
My Metal’s not Bursting! I'll Stomp this wreck!
Leave you shattered, forgotten even more than your mech
It’s time to save face and face the facts which are
You and your mega will never be Poke Stars! 
Ditch the Assault Vest, my offence left you worn 
You’d be better off fighting with your Larva Form! 
Thinkin you’re so great? Brick Break! Put you in your place! 
Judging by your lines you’re due for a second remake! 

Tyranitar:
Rolling Out like Whitney! you just need to stop trying! 
Your future’s even darker than my secondary typing
Even when I punch and Crunch a bunch of puny mons 
No mountain compares to taking down an Aggron
Ancient Power fills my veins as all my stats raise
To this point I’ve been calm but now I’ll Outrage
Until all that’s left of you is a little Sand Stream
Looks like I don’t need a fire type to melt steel beams

Light as Aggron
Dustin as Tyranitar

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