acrophobia w/ dylan lotus

featuring @caspywaspy
produced by michael harrison

pendant on my neck, what’s it for?
a small reminder to always go forward
an old friend comes to town on the fourth
i hope he gets a sense of remorse

i used to feed into your lies (what a waste of time…)
you had the nerve to look me right in my eyes when, behind the scenes you were a dirty little liar
i don’t mean to start a fire, but you know i’m right

(casperrr)
you took my trust and put it underneath your feet
you set fire on purpose to every single bridge 
we had to cross and there's no more you and me 
it hurts me to hate you but i can't love some1 that's so sick 

you watch me tear it down like you used to
but still, the blame is always on you

(casperrr)
i saw you fuck up your life like i'm used too
but still, i can't ever correct u 

and you’re not drinking, promise right?
just like your father, i hate that
you give me millions of reasons for payback
what you did was enough for me
you should’ve taken the gun and fucking blown at your feet
i wouldn’t watch, i wouldn’t stare
because i’m not in it for a scare
but i’d cry
for an old friend who hates my glare 

(casperrr)
but im crying for somebody i
used to love like a brother
i still tried to revive
the friendship among all of the fights
rn its do or die 
but i think ill just push u to the side
-
old friend, can you hear me?
can you even see it clearly now?

spotify

old friend (ft. casperrr)

i made this 7 months ago and still  kind of hate my part
@karoisnotok killed it ty to @starsbeforesunrise as well for making the drop <33

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMrf88KA_aQ
BITEKI VID ^^^^^^^^^^
lyrics~

(kryst3n)
you came to me w some real lies
i walked out before i realized
that i couldnt live wout u
say imma change but i  never get around to
keep telling me how i messed up
im sorry that i couldnt get the best of u
now ive been tryna keep my head up
its not that hard when ur not breathing down my neck

now im stuck in bed wout u
im sorry i ever shout at u
now im stuck inside a cloudy room
im sorry i ever doubted u

(karo)
could u tell me
how to avoid all the drowning
would you help me
if you saw that i was the one drowning
liike ur favorite season u are ice cold
i feel like ur one that i might hold
every day i feel im on a tight rope
every time we talk i get the eyeroll
told u i am not enough u didnt listen
now ur running off sayin u are quiting
now u wanna talk to me like tell me whats the difference
just take a second and look at the distance
right up between us
angry red phoenix
talking like u mean it but u dont really mean us
and nothing comes between us
pull strings like a seamstress
everybody talking but not one of them have seen us

around2 ft okay karo p king theta, starsbeforesunrise

prod. @nate2timezz

lyrics:

sometimes things dont amount to much
even when the things that led you there
gave you such a rush..
and baby im sorry that it didnt work out
and theres really no point n screamin n shoutin
but damn you look good  only wearin a towel
oh god give me the strength not to look back now.,.

i cant move on with you
breathin down my neck...
i guess its time that i 
leave you in the past
i need to go on
to whatever happens next
you said you loved me once but
i think this is for the best

i think its for the best...
even after all those long nights with you
layin on my chest
its  all runnin' through my head
nothins ever felt as lonely as this bed
oh...as lonely as this bed...

chorus repeats

this is for the best [+nate2timez]

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

the waiting game's begun 
so i can't talk a lot
she's got it figured out
while i'm left in the dark
there's no escaping me
i'm bound to my own fears
'cause this is who i am 
i've been like this for years

do you think that i'll change?
'cause i'm so scared i won't
i know it's up to me
but i can't be on my own
affliction takes ahold
and punctures through my face
i wanna hide my soul
but i can't erase mistakes

dysregulation in the dome 
disadvantaged and alone 
nobody ever checks on me
'cause they know i'm out of hope
why do i take up this space? 
i'm not worthy, i'm afraid
how can i make it more clear that
i'm never really okay?

right from the start, i was a mess 
there was no saving me 
i took it all straight to the heart 
now i've got jealousy
the greenest eyes you've ever seen
staring carefully
i'm sorry that i'm not that strong 
my heart forsakens thee

uncertainty has guaranteed my futility
i'm like a tree stuck in the dark 
suffering and steep 
and while i'm stuck behind a screen 
there's no agency
i've come to realize i'm not free 
there is no release

i came on too strong 
but how is that wrong?
i can't help it if i have a heart
that's full of love
fuck what they all say 
i'm borderline insane
i wouldn't get close to me
if i were you, i'd run away

i'm a liability
i burden those close to me 
don't you ever feel like you're the
only one who's lost at sea?
reading all your messages 
feel the sting inside my chest 
pace around my room until i
write off every word you said

even if i was found dead
i'd hope that you won't regret 
everything you never said
i don't want that in your head

at the end of the day 
i still care about you
regardless of our statuses
i know you'll find truth
the boundaries we put in place
will keep us en route 
we all change, but honestly 
we can't forget our roots

-----

anima

feel my world just decay as i'm growing up . . .

huge shoutout to @byekento for carrying tf outta this song, u one of my best friends bro ilysm <33

>lyrics<
i been through too much
tryna do too much
feel my world just decay as im growing up
sprials swirling away; brain is blowing up
tryna hurl all my pain; i been throwing up

i just been too fucked up to remember
the times i gave soul back up for the devil
i take a couple puffs; im not more than a vessel
im thinkin way too much; i'll just go fuckin mental

i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them 
i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them

and i been tryna find my way back
if you really love me 
why the fuck ain’t you just say that 
i know im still caught up in my head 
i can’t escape yet chase a paycheck 
still alive but im looking for my fucking grave damn 

and i know that its still gon be the fucking same 
i know i won’t ever change
i know i’m the bad guy 
so i stay inside my lane
fuck no i ain’t reaching out
but i still wish they heard me now 
i know that i let ‘em down

its all my fault so i stay alone 
never had a place to go 
never had a place like home
always somewhere dosing off
i could never let it show
nothing but a sacrifice 
know its all inside my mind 
all this time to figure me out

i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them 
i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them

all plats

impaled w/ byekento [prod. dercept x jolst]

produced by me (dawsin)
guitars by (michael warren)

I hope to take you on a trip with my pain ;l

lyrics ♡:
oh my god- 
im not enough
please-
leave me alone
save me
"dawsin"-
JUST A BLUFF
i cant do this anymore man-
god it hurts
"dawsin"-
ROUGH
ITS KILLING ME- 
"dawsin"- 
FROM THE INSIDE
YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK
"dawsin"-

oh no i know shes a narcissist
I know now that she cannot resist
me and my peakest form
its the calm 'fore the biggest storm

i would write a love letter but its not enough
cause I would know cause everytime she talks its just a bluff 
so dont compare our lives like you always had it rough
but when i tell you that you just say you dont give a fuck

I woke up and im ready tea-r-r shit down
your the only one that i want around
and no i am never seen
what do you want that's best for me?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BRO BUT YOU NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP
NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE A PRICK THATS ALSO STUCK UP
I THINK YOUR RIGHT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE A FUCK UP
ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT I GOT THE SHIT SIDE OF LUCK

*laugh*
I
AM
ATOMIC

IM RUNNING OUTTA TIME NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FEAR
I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IS NOTHING I WILL SHOW YOU THE DESPAIR
AND WHILE YOU SIT THERE AND CRY ILL MAKE A KNOT IN MY HAIR
SO YOU FEEL PITY WHEN IM GASPING FOR THE AIR

despair

prod acey 

lyrics:
what happened what’s wrong?
wiping the blood from your wrists and your arm
how did you know?
oh you’re in harm..
it’s late don’t go 
its not safe at home
if you didn’t know 
where would you go?
would it have been too late?
don’t be sorry 
i’m just glad you’re okay 
brown hair 
mascara down your face 
i’m sorry i pushed you away 
it wasn’t my fault
they wouldn’t let you stay 
i shoulda done more 
i regret it every-

what happened what’s wrong?
wiping the blood from your wrists and your arm 
how did you know?
you’re in harm..
you can stay with
please don’t say sorry
it’s be alright 
i’ll make sure you’re just fine
blood dripping 
it still haunts 
wish i could say sorry 

look what i have done 
what have i done

brunette

ARF ARF GRRRR RUFF WOOF (im so sorry)

i got blackmailed into putting these lyrics on here @tactiical LMFAOOO

[shizu]

tellin me to run run run run run run
i am not the one one one one one one
using me for fun fun fun fun fun fun
she hit the phone and i don't know any better

met her under the sun
(they say) never fall in love
but all this time in silence
stuck inside, violently numbing
so still searching for something else
to tell me that you want me
memories all fade away
but without you i'm nothing
trust me

[ri4h]

i trust you but i dont want to
cuz what do i do?
when you say "i love you"
i'm scared of losing you
i know that i need you
but i
oh i need you by my side
can you hold me thru the night
i know its rough but can we try
can we try
oh no, i'm scared
i need, you here
i can't, compare
oh it's, not fair
oh can't, you stay
you're driving me insane
so don't you run away
oh, run away

[shizu]

tellin me to run run run run run run
i am not the one one one one one one
using me for fun fun fun fun fun fun
she hit the phone and i don't know any better
[x2]

runnn ft. ri4h (chaos x goo)

seconds

Produced by @hiraethsry <3

Lyrics

Never had to tell you anything 
I don't wanna love you 
But my eyes don't want to blink 
I got problems how they try to wish me out 
Like anything
Now Im taking out my hands
Like where we talking where we swing

Break down I don't jump 
I don't like it when you love me 
How you love me when we talk 
I don't really like the way 
I want to blink when you gon walk 
she don't want to tell me anything 
If it aint talk 

I'm Kakashi copy things 
But I ain't got no Sharingan
Grim reaper ain't seen 
With all this death that I be on
Might aswell be lean and built as fuck just like a god

I never said another word to weird you out 
Lost all of my friends from all the fire out my mouth 
I roll in my bed and I wake up from all the sounds
Drenched in all my sweat I'll give it up to make you proud
Drenched in all my guilt I'll fucking take all of it out

Got all my feelings on a plane its out of town 
Way too scared of constant change 
Il never stay to take you out
I'm persistently deranged I'll play a game to drown it out 
Stay inside this lonely space I'll never kill my fucking self
I don't need no help
Say take a step swear I took 12, Kept my feelings held
In my feelings how they rot 
I dont need my feelings when they feel like this tomorrow
I just wanna feel I wanna leave until its on

Break down I don't jump 
I don't like it when you love me 
How you love me when we talk 
I don't really like the way 
I want to blink when you gon walk 
she don't want to tell me anything 
If it aint talk 

I'm Kakashi copy things 
But I ain't got no Sharingan
Grim reaper ain't seen 
With all this death that I be on
Might aswell be lean and built as fuck just like a god

old friend (ft. casperrr)

vil synth

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