do not come out (demo)

not recommended for listening if you have suicidal thoughts. it's all in your head. It will be much better if you change your playlist. thanks

spotify - https://open.spotify.com/album/40njHIBZY0OnjuKEPKC9pu?si=Dgpu5ZQ9RqGJrE62MYVpCw

if you need more of this you can follow me - https://www.instagram.com/lesmusicprod/

Lyrics: 

My footsteps tread
Lie low and lone the silent dead,
Beneath the turf, beneath the mould,
Forever dark, forever cold,
And my eyes cannot hold the tears
That memory hoards from vanished years
For Time and Death and Mortal pain
Give wounds that will not heal again,
Let me remember half the woe
I've seen and heard and felt below,
And Heaven itself, so pure and blest,
Could never give my spirit rest,
Sweet land of light! thy children fair
Know nought akin to our despair,
Nor have they felt, nor can they tell
What tenants haunt each mortal cell,
What gloomy guests we hold within,
Torments and madness, tears and sin!
Well, may they live in ectasy
Their long eternity of joy;
At least we would not bring them down
With us to weep, with us to groan,
No, Earth would wish no other sphere
To taste her cup of sufferings drear;
She turns from Heaven with a careless eye
And only mourns that we must die!

derealization

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/insoh/it-hasnt-stopped-raining-since-you-passed-away

it hasn't stopped raining since you passed away

@satarkuul

In my restless dreams,
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me
there again someday.
But you never did.

Well I'm alone there now...
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.

Waiting for you to
come to see me.
But you never do.
And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.
I know I've done a terrible
thing to you. Something you'll
never forgive me for.

I wish I could change
that, but I can't.
I feel so pathetic and ugly
laying here, waiting for you...
Every day I stare up at the cracks
in the ceiling and all I can think
about is how unfair it all is...

The doctor came today.
he told me I could go
home for a short stay.
It's not that I'm getting better.
It's just that this may be
my last chance...

I think you know what I mean...

Even so, I'm glad to be coming
home. I've missed you terribly.
But I'm afraid James.
I'm afraid you don't really
want me to come home.
Whenever you come see me,
I can tell how hard it is on you...

I don't know if you
hate me or pity me...
Or maybe I just disgust you...

I'm sorry about that.

When I first learned that
I was going to die, I just
didn't want to accept it.
I was so angry all the time and I
struck out at everyone I loved most.
Especially you, James.

That's why I understand
if you do hate me.

But I want you to
know this, James.

I'll always love you.

Even though our life together had
to end like this, I still wouldn't
trade it for the world. We had
some wonderful years together.

Well this letter had gone on
too long so I'll say goodbye.
I told the nurse to give
this to you after I'm gone.
That means that as you read
this, I'm already dead.

I can't tell you to remember me,
but I can't bear for you to
forget me.

These last few years since I
became ill...I'm so sorry for
what I did to you, did to us...
You've given me so much and
I haven't been able to return
a single thing.

That's why I want you to live for yourself now.
Do what's best for you, James.

James...

You made me happy.

in my restless dream, i see that town.

Spotify

3.lost

ambient version of agony by yung lean 🖤

agony (ambient version super slowed) w/ seeyouthere

forgotten memories

Piano Reminiscence #2 (wip)

From a series of (almost) daily ocean glimpses. The music is composed to a video of the sea (photons captured fresh every day). You can experience the full video version here:  https://youtu.be/dinjvW7ZV_4

Glimpse 1203 (Jan 16 2025)

YANKEES SUCK: https://yankeessuck.bandcamp.com

Sky-High Thunderflash - Side A

Midnight is early, curl of the tea,
Sip of the sorrow, narrow the sea,
Cracked open, honey sight —
Marrow me

(photo mine, prout's neck, maine)

Piano Reminiscence #2 (wip)

vtrb

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