sorry for the inactivity, working on some better music!

without you my day sucks (guda)

mixed/mastered by me
recorded in my room
prod by wissery x nihil
cover art by me
for her


Lyrics: 

i almost gave up livin
you won't be forgiven
god knows i'm finally finished
i still regret that i pushed you away
i'm sorry i lied i tried to keep the pain inside
i lost my pride

ungodly timing yea i almost lost my life
in my mind time passes and i see you as my wife
holed up in this place i got time to think about us
i want you to be okay
i'll wait here until one day
you feel fine and come back again
and i hope that i'm still an option then
i promise i'll be here until when
you decide if i'll ever be your man
and i'll accept that then

please don't take her away from me
you can tell from my broken heart by how it beats
that i've already lost everything that means
a god damn thing to me

please dont take her away from me
you can tell from my broken heart by how it beats
that i've already lost everything that means
a god damn thing to me

ungodly timing yea i almost lost my life
in my mind time passes and i see you as my wife
holed up in this place i got time to think about us
i want you to be okay
i'll wait here until one day
you feel fine and come back again
and i hope that i'm still an option then
i promise i'll be here until when
you decide if i'll ever be your man
and i'll accept that then

i can't say it yet
that i'll be there for you when you're ready again
i tried my best but i can't really see to the end
but i swear that i'll be waitin for you best as i can
i been waitin over seven fuckin years
honestly what's two more if i can fuckin fight for 
love, and still have a chance
for us, to end up holdin hands
well at least that's the plan

ungodly timing yea i almost lost my life
in my mind time passes and i see you as my wife
holed up in this place i got time to think about us
i want you to be okay
i'll wait here until one day
you feel fine and come back again
and i hope that i'm still an option then
i promise i'll be here until when
you decide if i'll ever be your man
and i'll accept that then

weight/wait

Mixed/mastered by me
prod fool4love

Lyrics:

i try to recite it but im still hidin inside
the understanding is gone so i just wait for the lie
and honesty fighting i dont think i would survive
but its the thought of your heart next to mine that keeps it beating inside

i just wish that you would learn to finally fuckin hate me
you told me that you needed a little time for your self
after all the tears that i spilled
all the feelings are gone and i regret
but you just wanna hold on you can't dead it
you said that you left because you had to but i bet that you'd do it again
honestly, creepy, i know that you don't real need me
tired of fallin in love for everyone to just leave me

you let me down so dont tell me what i deserve 
im dyin in silence forgot everything that i have heard
tried for an answer but i got nothin inside of me left
why do we fight it when you're obviously on my side

i tried it again, but you wouldnt fight for me
why would you lie and tell me that you're in love with me
im so tired of this, i can't breathe
i dont understand why you would say that you need me

i just wish that you would learn to finally fuckin hate me
you told me that you needed a little time for your self
after all the tears that i spilled
all the feelings are gone and i regret
but you just wanna hold on you can't dead it
you said that you left because you had to but i bet that you'd do it again
honestly, creepy, i know that you don't real need me
tired of fallin in love for everyone to just leave me

u never loved me and i know that now

shoutout to @fleshgolem for the crazy mix & mastr

lyrics

abuse me and hurt me but don’t fuckin love me
it’s what i deserve all this earth does is fuck me
and breaking me down till i’m one with the ground
when i don’t feel like talking that’s me calling her ugly

it’s hard when ur broken 
someone that’s all knowing 
but no way could fix up all of these emotions 
or whatever’s left 
on this trip i’ve been floating the motions are flowing but everything’s slowing me down
but when ur around 
i feel my pulse beating twice as fast and the clocks not making sound

she said do u feel it now 
no but why am i bleeding out
stopped the healing now
oh fuck i can feel it now

oh fuck i can feel it now
im losing my patience now
been taking my time, my whole fucking life and I cannot lose this now

my body is losing its function 
the motor inside isnt pumping 
im losing my care in this high numbered function
ill make everyone think that im something 
so get the fuck out of my way 
ive got too much shit that i held ‘till this day
fucks sake i love u 
this once just believe what I say

i dont wanna move forward
till ive found a new face
been farming ideas now i want the source 8

masochist (whitlen)

https://soundcloud.com/user-411557229/youth-santana?si=d1375d62267945108ccb686b18c447ba&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

residential - youth (cover)

Lyrics: 

i dont wanna fight, i just wanna be by your side uhh
please don't leave me alone, won't you hold me through the night uh uhhh
cause my brain always tells me, that life's not worth living
and i can't decide whether to keep on creating
and honestly i can tell i'm the only one hating
but still i can't get it out of my mind
cause i'm lost in thought yea lately i been ruminating 
on the chance that i might end my suffering

i can't save it 
oh im finally facing
the inevitable end of our relationship
and ain't this what you wanted
don't tell me that your haunted
by the ghost of your decisions 
oh this time around was harder

cause i been feeling like im in a loop again
honestly i just think i need new friends
cause all of mine still hate me 
and the rest they tried to play me
every time i text you ain't been gettin replies lately
all these burdens i'm stressed out
i just wanna be held down
baby i'm so sorry i know it hurts you when i carve my arm now 

oh they're caught in my throat
all these words i'm tryna say
baby i'm teary eyed, and i'm fuckin terrified
i just want you to hold me
i'm so tired of always bein lonely
honestly i didn't think i'd make it this far
if i don't see you now then i'll catch you in the next form
we only text so it gets lost in translation
but i hope you know that when i check up on you it means i miss you
and baby i can't deal with all this fuckin distance
but when you don't text me all day oh it makes me worry 

cause i gotta respect myself enough to speak my mind
i can't go a day without hearin from you and just be fine
that's not how love works baby i need your attention
i need to know if you care or if you're just pretending
these thoughts are running all around inside my mind
and no matter how hard i try i just can't stop thinking 
and i don't know, oh should i give up now, or hold on until the end

i cant stop thinking (tied for silver x flesh)

hey
old track from 2021/22
the goat @cherryrizla featuring
prod. @nevrfall
enjoy <3

lyrics:
i just cant wait until
i can come down 
and finally stop melting
i
i drive away from my
home in the hopes
that you’ll see me as something 

feeling a pain in my shoulder
stopping the car to pull over 
losing myself as im older
finding myself now its over

i sit alone in a sea of the blood of my past lives
all nine died
dont wanna find out if i cried
do it again by the sunrise
torture, im living this torture
and nothing will come of it
i just get high for the fun of it
i cannot feel i am numb again
nothin ever does it like you do

i
i just cant wait until
i can come down 
and finally stop melting
i
i drive away from my
home in the hopes
that you’ll see me as something 

feeling a pain in my shoulder
stopping the car to pull over 
losing my breath as i feel it
nothing is sweeter than closure

melting w/ cherryrizla (2022) [nevrfall]

safety (secre x heyrick)

SLEEPLESS SAINTS

pray (prod. kovex)

(Fern)

I got marijuana
Baby got back, she got tanner
I call her Hannah Montana
She wanna eat a banana
She taking off her pajamas
I pull the stick out, katana
No sleep, phantom
White x6, Panda

Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda
Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda

Everybody pretending
Fuck your morality, this is reality
We live in a daydream
You couldn’t prompt this
I’ve been conscious
Y’all been talking nonsense
I’ve been putting the time in
Don’t fuck with the process
Get high, so divine, yeah
You look like a goddess, on God

I dont know what God is, but I know I got this
I keep on grinding, cant get the time back
Back in ’11, I was mining them diamonds
My life like Minecraft
My life like a timelapse
But we get right back to it,
Hop in a new whip, who am I cool with?
Roll it up, roll it up fat, blow out the gas,
Smoke up the van
You not a friend, you like a fan,
Baby, you’ll fuck up the plan
I got some levels on you,
I popped a xanny or two

Yeah, yeah
(Fern)
Yeah, woah

Yeah, Im higher with you
With you in my room
Im in a cocoon
Im on the dark side of the moon
Like, have you been this high?
Have you touched the sky?

I got marijuana
Baby got back, she got tanner
I call her Hannah Montana
She wanna eat a banana
She taking off her pajamas
I pull the stick out, katana
No sleep, phantom
White x6, Panda

Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda
Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda

i cant stop thinking (tied for silver x flesh)

getbetter