dead inside

выпал.

Lyrics:

I pull back from a bitch if she gone act like she giving a fuck about me because it'll end badly
Could never get too close when my hopes happy
My actions could go sporadic brake glass and put hole in cabinets
The fuck you look like pitying me
I'm writing songs of how I feel and how you pretend to be
Every friend I ever had fucked me over and yeah I mean every friend you drop a name I'll give you the stats bitch
I find myself in this place common I'm kinda amazed jotting about better days I'm never found to engage with
That's why I'm locked in the basement of my mind it got me caged in and locked for the night
I'm sick of telling people how much they forever meaning to me just to let em lead me on and fuck my head up even more than before
That's why I start to ignore whenever my fucking phone buzzing I just throw it to the floor
It keep ringing

Living in the past I forever been
Steady looking back at whatever is and
Whatever was was so simple that I miss it can't relive your touch now
Can somebody sit back and hear what I spit and tell me if they feel exact same as what I been through
Way too much and when the day ends I don't feel like I'ma make it up out

Fall in love
You gambling with your sanity
My ex was whoring out to friends of me can't compare it
See her family is fucked and they clearly just ain't a fan of me
When parenting just sucks and you can't admit it apparently
Was tryna get my mind off the bitch when it finally ended
Got dmed and started talking to someone who I was friends with
Said I mean the world to her but words do just not connect
When you be ghosting seem like I ain't been meaning much to begin with
So fuck it I'm doing me
And soon it was you and me
I told you how I was feeling you had somebody you been with
Who isn't what I expected regardless of his intentions
It's fucking dumb I accept it
You strung me along and left me with this
False hope
A smaller but strong rope and I broke it
Cutting ties ain't nothing knew just go with the motions
So what the fuck is the point
If everyone I ever loved is faking it then enjoy your life without me

Living in the past I forever been
Steady looking back at whatever is and
Whatever was was so simple that I miss it can't relive your touch now
Can somebody sit back and hear what I spit and tell me if they feel exact same as what I been through
Way too much and when the day ends I don't feel like I'ma make it up out
Living in the past I forever been
Steady looking back at whatever is and
Whatever was was so simple that I miss it can't relive your touch now
Can somebody sit back and hear what I spit and tell me if they feel exact same as what I been through
Way too much and when the day ends I don't feel like I'ma make it up out

Credits:
Prod. by Tennis Player
Co-prod. by Andy Sorenson

fleur

(prod. Tyler Creed & Andy Sorenson)  @deathncreed

Lyrics:

I spend nights thinking back to the way shit was
Way before I made a name way before when we would sit in my home
It ain't even my fault
Lil bitch like a knife to the back now I feel so dumb
That you told me that you love me that you told me how you feel but now look
And now she gone I saw it coming but it caught me off

Still I lose touch with myself can somebody bring help and show me outta the pain please
Who the fuck can I tell cuz nobody been listening to what I'm saying
You don't know myself and your posse gone follow yeah you probably hate me
But bitch you all been dead now see
You ain't ever the one I should've kept round me
Whatever you say but I could never trust you
I could feel it way before you ever knew bout him
I know all your friends love to hate me now
But it don't matter cause I couldn't give a fuck about them
I know that you family probably don't know shit of what you did
Cause you won't even say you wrong about shit
I know that he tells you that you did the right thing
How the fuck could you just take his side
Well that's fine
It cuts deeper than a blade to your skin when I was up at the crib said I was saving your life
I'm wishing I could just forgive and forget that night this time I guess that I'll never say goodbye
But what's it like to have somebody you with just fucking lie to your face like everything is alright
I split ties with many friends and forgave them nights I waste time now nobody else wasting mine

I spend nights thinking back to the way shit was
Way before I made a name way before when we would sit in my home
It ain't even my fault
Lil bitch like a knife to the back now I feel so dumb
That you told me that you love me that you told me how you feel but now look
And now she gone I saw it coming but it caught me off
I spend nights thinking back to the way shit was
Way before I made a name way before when we would sit in my home
It ain't even my fault
Lil bitch like a knife to the back now I feel so dumb
That you told me that you love me that you told me how you feel but now look
And now she gone I saw it coming but it caught me off

Like Knives

conclusion; the end of an era
produced by @idlyblare
<3

lyrics:
sing me a song and tell me everything is normal
its been months since i had felt at all, im tryna keep it formal with the
things that i say to those who don’t quite get the most of me
its harder to find out when
they’re leaving

find me a stone & write my name in tiny letters
if u throw it far enough then you and i are stuck together for the
rest of our years or just as long as you put up with me
i know that it has to end
you’re leaving

so if i go
no complaints
we’ll take it slow
until we break

i shop the windows of this breezy inner city
hoping for some inspiration, maybe i’ll find something pretty in the
regurgitation of my life in front of you
i put myself for sale, just wondering
if you still want me too

i break the habits of my past, im nothin better than a
old pair of shoes that no one wears until they gotta
but its
nothing personal
something terminal

i saw the rain
reflecting off your windowsill
i took the pain i gathered
turned it into chlorophyll
who knows the way
we’ll fall back into open arms
i tried to find it comforting
here i am with battle scars

learning to lose

chlorophyll [idly blare]

spotify & apple music!

Playing Dead

safety (secre x heyrick)

prod raspo 
mixed/master by me

Lyrics:

generational trauma
personification of drama
must be easy to say 
“i got it all from my momma”
i’m not a perfect person 
i still take more than i oughta
but you’re not perfect either 
you paint more hate than you gotta 

and i’m sorry that i left you
wasn’t there when i needed to protect you 
when i found out shoulda texted you
cause i knew exactly what it meant for you
that if i stick it out and i try hard
then you might see what’s in my heart
but i see now i wasn’t fair to you
babe i swear that all i did was care for you 

i guess i could find someone to hold me down
oh but i don’t think it’s fair if i’m not gonna be around 
cause my time on this earth is a little more limited than you think it is
and if i showed you inside of me
i wonder what your gut reaction to the trash would be
would you ask what happened to me 
would you stare in a state of shock as you backed away from me

oh see i been in this place before
where i never thought i’d need a hate ward
so when i broke down while i answered 
and then you spread through me like cancer
i sat back in my chair and wondered if i really said it with candor 

i know heart patients don’t hurt like this 
so i just wanna be certain 
you can’t see it from my side now
it’s like you’ve drawn all the curtains 
you want home yea you won’t find it here
i’m done wit all this hurtin

_trauma_ (raspo)

ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting

why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic, then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me?

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

by the grain [prod. dash]

synthetic

lyrics:D
this girl she’s perfect, but she hides her pain with a smile
hoping that she could be fine
Beautiful angel eyes
she loves to talk, but nobody wants to listen
drugs up in her body, but she don’t got no prescription
drugs got her fucked in the head
no, it’s getting harder. Can’t get out of bed.
every day she’s wishing that she had a fresh start
She’s so tired of these people fuck around tear her apart
her father wasn’t Fuckin there to keep the lights on in the dark
So now she’s stuck with The Fuckin for fears where she don’t know what’s going on
I want to tell her that I know it’s bad
Now that I’m here I promise that I’ll keep you safe
Just come with me and I can hold your hand
And tell you everything will always be OK
She met this boy he’s really fucked up
Doesn’t fall in love much
But he’s getting better cuz he knows she needs him
he knows it’s time to kick the mud cup
No more getting fucked up
wants to be forever, brush her hair back in the wind

she loves to talk and this boy he loves to listen
Drugs up in her body, but this time it’s her prescriptions
No, she’s not fucked in the head
Now it’s getting better. She got out of bed.
Every day she’s wishing that she had a fresh start
And now she got it and she’s working. I think that she’s go far
Her father wasn’t fucking there to keep the lights on in the dark
But now I am, and I can promise that we’ll never be apar

fresh start

stream

fresh start [moneo]

Lyrics:

Windows left open slightly
Wind blows, creeps in quietly

Pushes the curtains open,fuck the security
Hiding in the closet to hold onto the privacy

When i'm in my dreams i could hold onto the peace
But wake up in reality where everythings in piece-
-IS it okay to relate to all the raindrops
whole while falling down but splashing on the asphalt 
Morph into all the puddles praying i don't stand out
Wasted opportunities, they keep on getting washed down

The pipes, wasted meanings, i can't feel it, no not again
Oh no, the waters rising, im wasting time and i cant prevent

The clocks arms from spinning
Wish i could go to the beginning 
I'm tired of the waves, the past
I'm praying that it doesn't last
My hair is blowing through the breeze
It's getting cold, i shouldn't freeze
It tries to push me off my feet
And lately i've been losing sleep
Its working and my hope is fading
Mother nature keeps invading
Don't feel like my own person
Scared that the attempts keep working

Never thought a season could change my tone of voice 
Or my need of advice or the things i cannot think about though i know it entices me
My feelings, it surprises me. The cold protects me from my sleep, deprived of it, i guarantee 

Raindrops in my eyes, stops me from seeing clearly
Mother nature writes the messages sincerely
Hoping that the water doesn't affect me severely 
Oh severely

(windows, wind blows)
(It's getting cold, i shouldn't freeze
It tries to push me off my feet
And lately i've been losing sleep
Its working and my hope is fading
Mother nature keeps invading
Don't feel like my own person
Scared that the attempts keep working)

Mother Nature (p.  junoes)

Featuring @pinkcig
Prod: @metlast
Cover art: https://www.instagram.com/nyxxc0re/

Lyrics:
-FRVR-
Drinks to the face
Leave my heart with a bullet hole
Cover up the pain
see it when I fade tho

Memories burning while the blood drips from your blade slow
Now I just feel like the devil layed my grave hoe

Eyes closed driving
Baby are you riding
If we both crash
I hope it was exciting

3am dying
Sorry for the lying
My heart can be blinding
Too much that I’m fighting

Do it over again do it over again
Fall apart cause your in my head
time tears this apart in the end
But time don’t seem to work for making my heart mend

-Pink Cig-
picture running when you cant escape 
getting tired but nowhere to lay 
running circles when i play your game 
i cant change and you just wont change 

wake up to the memories 
drank up and i hope it fades
so numb i can barely see
aint nobody here to stay 

im surrounded by strangers 
careful dangers around
hate and anger
lingers around
pain and anguish
and you're around

-FRVR-
Drinks to the face
Leave my heart with a bullet hole
Cover up the pain
see it when I fade tho

Memories burning while the blood drips from your blade slow
Now I just feel like the devil layed my grave hoe

Eyes closed driving
Baby are you riding
If we both crash
I hope it was exciting

3am dying
Sorry for the lying
My heart can be blinding
Too much that I’m fighting

STREAM EVERYWHERE

Bullet Hole ft. Pink Cig (prod. metlast)

prod. by killedmyself

Lyrics:

(Verse)
A harsh winter got me livin life in poverty,
Cuz jobs never pick it up and now the cars empty,
But watch summer come around I hope that all of my problems get solved now it came around and shit is all the same,
My thoughts written could begin to take it all away,
I march deep into the heart of nature callin me,
It's part of me,
And people on this rock we be,
I'm gettin tired of this anxiety thats haunting me

(Chorus)
Its just the way that it goes,
Sometimes I lose my control,
I'm puttin holes in the wall,
Don't wanna get yall involved,
It's best you leave me alone,
Don't like this feelin at all,
Who can I trust I don't know,
That's why I keep on my own,
It's just the way that it goes

(Verse 2)
Some days when I wake up,
I get a sense of bliss that escapes me when the things I run away from reappear,
Which just makes me wanna stay in bed wasting the day,
Its my life homie I could go and waste it away,
I'm afraid to admit that some days I get to thinkin that maybe I wasn't made for this place that I live,
Cuz I can't seem to fit,
And the days seem to end really quick,
I'm fuckin done I can't take this again

(Chorus)
Its just the way that it goes,
Sometimes I lose my control,
I'm puttin holes in the wall,
Don't wanna get yall involved,
It's best you leave me alone,
Don't like this feelin at all,
Who can I trust I don't know,
That's why I keep on my own,
It's just the way that it goes,
Sometimes I lose my control,
I'm puttin holes in the wall,
Don't wanna get yall involved,
It's best you leave me alone,
Don't like this feelin at all,
Who can I trust I don't know,
That's why I keep on my own,
It's just the way that it goes

the way it goes (prod. killedmyself)

Lyrics:

Chorus:
If I ain't love this I'd say fuck it I would just walk away,
Avoid the public often cuz I just don't fuck with the fake,
It kinda sucks when what you hate is what is up in the game,
Anyways I'ma stay doing my thing

Verse 1:
Tell me is it all worth it or not,
I put everything I got into this I rehearse what I jot,
Going broke just to make it fuckin work to be honest,
I been getting impatient with the whole fucking process,
Music is my outlet to express myself,
So fuck it I ain't holding back I'm who's next to hell with who you bumping cuz a motha fucka rhymes are weak,
I stay humble but I gotta speak what I believe,
It's like I wanna blow up but I don't,
Cuz I'm tired of being alone broke stuck in my home,
I just wanna do shows tour the whole fucking globe,
But these fucking labels call me and they ghosting my phone,
Fuck it I don't need em,
Or your idols feature,
I came up in this shit alone and still nobody speak the real shit that I been speaking,
Make a fuckin image and a fake persona,
So the checks stay coming in until their banks are fuller,
Fuck

Chorus:
If I ain't love this I'd say fuck it I would just walk away,
Avoid the public often cuz I just don't fuck with the fake,
It kinda sucks when what you hate is what is up in the game,
Anyways I'ma stay doing my thing,
But I got love for anyone of you we one and the same,
I find the jealousy you harbor is whats causing you pain,
All of these people they look up to me and others they hate,
Anyways I'ma stay doing my thing

Verse 2:
Back when I was younger I knew I just wanna rap,
Nowadays talent doesn't even matter only stats do,
That's why the best artists always in the back and the other motha fuckas songs simpler to rap to,
I been through too much,
And if I give it up I invested too much,
So it wouldn't be worth it not at all,
Made a promise that it all would come together to my mom and she believed in me when I was writing lyrics in the halls,
Now that falls approaching,
My anxiety been creeping while I'm tryna focus,
People constantly DM me saying I'ma blow up anyday,
So I'm grateful where I came from and that I'm saving lives everyday,
If you cry to this just know I felt the same,
The last few days been so fucking stressful on my brain,
But my message is as plain as thank you all who show support,
And I'm glad I could do the same through the songs that I record

Chorus:
If I ain't love this I'd say fuck it I would just walk away,
Avoid the public often cuz I just don't fuck with the fake,
It kinda sucks when what you hate is what is up in the game,
Anyways I'ma stay doing my thing,
But I got love for anyone of you we one and the same,
I find the jealousy you harbor is whats causing you pain,
All of these people they look up to me and others they hate,
Anyways I'ma stay doing my thing

rabbit hole (prod. KAMAARA)

[+] stop talking words are useless.
* featuring @trechorboy + @sushisai * prod by @boyfifty *

IG: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TW: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: discord.gg/VRcvcdf
LYRICS:

[verse 1: seejayxo]
you could take my love and you could throw it out
got me looking at the stars when you not around
thats why i be jaded, fuck what u be sayin
i ain't even playin when i say that i'm make it
i don't feel anymore, eyes hella sore
i got the bag and it's Christian Dior
i'm callin for you, i'm callin for you

[verse: 2 trechor boy]
gas inhalation took me on vacation 
 i never get love i hate the sensation 
a life worth lived makes no sense 
cuz  we all die in da fuckin end like

lemme paraphrase Thoreau, he said
“rather love, money, faith, show me da road”
and i uh, i guess i understand that now
dont vibe with the lies they be tellin u now

[verse 3: suisai]
stop talking words are useless
can never hold up
What did you expect it 
to be different 
Shouldlt even have to convince
but they all look from outside
Walls could cave in at
Any givin moment
it looks like its the time to
Stop wishin for it to get better
And wash that pain away
Pitter patter of rain on the rooftop
i could lay in this bed all day
  And think And listen and look 4
For a sign pls remind me again
what really matters at the end of all this

[chorus: seejayxo + trechor boy]
like i want it all too
fuck it i'll fall through
i thought i loved you
i thought i loved you
like i want it all too
fuck it you'll fall through
i thought you loved me
i thought you loved me

useless

follow boyfifty

useless (feat. trechor boy + suisai)

prod. vaegud x sketchmyname

kissin on ur face
kissin on ur thighs
keepin up the pace
baby look me in the eyes
is it real? (x4)
i dont know if its real anymore
i dont know if its real at all
i dont know if its real

momentary pleasure
temporary relief
ur company lasts an hour
but loneliness never leaves
the moans disguise the words i wanna say
while ur touch wears off like nova-cane
the warm embrace of a blades
been keepin me company for days
is it too much to ask
if you could stay w me

stay w me
stay w me
for the night
for tonight
actin like we care 
(x2)

kissin on ur face
kissin on ur thighs
keepin up the pace
baby look me in the eyes
is it real? (x2)
i dont know if its real anymore
i dont know if its real at all
i dont know if its real

kisses

[+] i just wanna die slow.. see me from the blunt glow
* featuring @nicoteenninyo * prod by @metlast *

MUSIC VIDEO: https://youtu.be/gxxBsbHSbkU

IG: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TW: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: discord.gg/VRcvcdf
LYRICS:

[intro: seejayxo]
i just wanna die slow
see me from the blunt glow
with my blinds closed
burning up the sky oh oh ya

[hook: nicoteen ninyo]
i just wanna die slow
with your hands wrapped
around my cheeks
choking me out
til i can't breathe
kiss with no sounds
and die peacefully
i just wanna die slow
can you do it for me?

[verse: seejayxo]
try and get me now ya
fucked up off the sound oh
i smoke like a pound ya
so high off the ground oh
you cannot touch me you basic
i roll a blunt then i face it
wonder why they always hatin
i know you know i'ma make it
so just face it,
i won't say shit, i hold back,
i don't know why i'm sad, shit
i forgot my past 
ion think i'm that bad
i want a big truck and a benz
get fucked up wit my friends
out in LA til i'm dead, LA til i'm dead

[hook: nicoteen ninyo + seejayxo]
i just wanna die slow
with your hands wrapped
around my cheeks
(i just wanna die slow, fuck up out my life hoe)
choking me out
til i can't breathe
kiss with no sounds
and die peacefully  
(write my death note, i just want a slit throat)
i just wanna die slow
can you do it for me?
i just wanna die slow
with your hands wrapped
around my cheeks
(i just wanna die slow, see me from the blunt glow)
choking me out
til i can't breathe
kiss with no sounds
and die peacefully  
(with my blinds closed, burning up the sky oh)
i just wanna die slow
can you do it for me?

die slow

+ visuals

die slow (feat. nicoteen ninyo) *MUSIC VIDEO IN DESC*

only feet apart (prod. kiraw)

if u wanna go motherfucka just leave, shit
we dont gotta talk while u walk or speak bitch
lookin at my phone while u texting "i miss this"
if thats what u think why the fuck did u ditch it

why u still leavin if ur scared that u lost me
ur minds sprayin bullshit, let yo heart do the talkin
u always slam the door, but you come back knockin
u try to murder us, but cant stand the haunting 
(x2)

my heads so twisted i cant fucking think
how many words did u even mean
you say u miss me and make u feel things
that no ones brought out for u to see

ghosts from ur past and ur last just passed me
in the same night you left, you text him
so whats the truth, how do u feel
do u hate him and want me or was that never real

if u wanna go motherfucka just leave, shit
we dont gotta talk while u walk or speak bitch
lookin at my phone while u texting "i miss this"
if thats what u think why the fuck did u ditch it

why u still leavin if ur scared that u lost me
ur minds sprayin bullshit, let yo heart do the talkin
u always slam the door, but you come back knockin
u try to murder us, but cant stand the haunting 
(x2)

ditch it (overwhelmed) [prod. hxrxkiller]

📷 Instagram: @prod5head
🐤Twitter: @prod5head
☁️soundcloud.com/prod5head

LYRICS:
every morning that i wake up, always see u in the mirror
in my eyes
in my smile
in the way that i appear
in my walk
in my dress
in every single thing i fear
ur somehow always here

every minute that i made it through u were never there
in the pain
in the screams
in the wiping of the tears
in the loss 
in the gain
when the drugs were always here 
u were somehow never there

every need i needed met never seemed to meet u
when the bumps
when the shots
held my hand instead of you
when the warmth
when the bond
in the bottle i was soothed
something i never got from u

every strangers bed that i rent, i hope where i can stay
with no love
only fucks
with our damage in the way
only broken
never healed 
w the scars we dont explain 
well somethings never change

i wake up 
close my eyes
to things ion wanna see

im too blind
i dont care
to accept reality 

every morning that i wake up, always see u in the mirror
in my eyes
in my smile
in the way that i appear
in my walk
in my dress
in every single thing i fear
ur somehow always here

every minute that i made it through u were never there
in the pain
in the screams
in the wiping of the tears
in the loss 
in the gain
when the drugs were always here 
u were somehow never there

every need i needed met never seemed to meet u
when the bumps
when the shots
held my hand instead of you
when the warmth
when the bond
in the bottle i was soothed
something i never got from u

every strangers bed that i rent, i hope where i can stay
with no love
only fucks
with our damage in the way
only broken
never healed 
w the scars we dont explain 
well somethings never change

i wake up 
close my eyes
to things ion wanna see

im too blind
i dont care
to accept reality

_trauma_ (raspo)

getbetter