Collabed on this beat with @gaia-zambon-778002978

Lyrics:
so i never wanna leave my bed, i stay lost up in my head
please do not disturb me you could wake me when im fuckin dead
guess im giving up thats why you always gettin left on read
dont talk to me dont hit me up im busy tryna get my bread

dont take my pulse cause i flatlined
i know youll leave just like last time
put on a show like its halftime
like im a poet but i cant rhyme

you never heard a flow so slow, guess ive given up completely but im vibin on the low, i dont got no energy for nothin keep your fuckin hoe, she be slidin in my DMs im depressed but she dont know

said she thought its just persona
said she thought it was an act
said she thought that id be happy cause im piling up these racks
said she plays all of my songs
said she listens to my tracks
said she wanna save me now before im never coming back

Shedontknow

shedontknow (prod. Gaia & HKFiftyOne)

Hurt me prod. thankswwr x eli.yf x dayever

one of my favorite songs i've ever made. big shouts out to the homie guardin for getting on this with me!! check him out here:

soundcloud.com/guardinmusic

sample credits: https://soundcloud.com/yungcold

sad chill - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWgkYnqG4u4
guardin - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfn_ugMCzmQ
静的 static - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V_UlSTkw1k

california dreaming (feat. guardin)

@notmorgn <333

lyrics:

I don't need no friends that fake expressions just for fun
how you say i started when i ain't even begun
every lie you stack up on me hurts unless you're done
every day i suffer in my room well just because

everyday i wake up in a nightmare its a curse
every night i try to change then wake up felling worse
thoughts and hollow memories but still no lessons learned
broken glass for feelings but nobody act concerned

i can't hold my happiness for not even a day
people poppin xannys and they wanna hide the pain
i don't think they understand that life isn't a game
look inside yourself and you might find someone to blame

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

i can hear your whispers as they echo through my mind
pitch black border painted all around your eyes
i don't feel a thing i swear i've never been this high
i don't need to try
i don't wanna stay here
wanna take my life

i don't think i'll every try to make it through the night
who wants to feel alive
am i right
wanna die in your eyes

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

dying in ur eyes (prod.notmorgn)

Ft. @RudyxWhite
Prod. @NoFeeling @AntonGxldn

Lyrics:
all these thoughts up in my head
all these things that I regret
somewhere lost at 2am
and no one can save me
spending all this time alone
sitting in my broken home
spread my ashes in the snow
cause no one can save me

all my friends don't understand 
all my friends are in my head
met a lot of fucking people 
but they never really cared
only asking me what’s wrong 
so the blood ain’t on their hands
they like what's that in the snow 
call it red dead despair

broken hearts as frail as glass
being haunted by my past 
somewhere lost a 2am 
and no one can save me
living fast so I’ll die slow
when did my path become a road
spread my ashes in the snow 
cause no one can save me

the lights turn black everything we had means nothing
searching for something to numb this feeling 
the lights turn black everything we had means nothing
searching for something to numb this feeling

✦ Other Platforms

Red Dead Despair Ft. Rudy White

@luvrrboi
ty mysticfox4 for the beautiful color work on my drawing<3

Lyrics:
singing SleepyHead but I’m still woke
head down on the kick like a pillow
face down on a brick, ayo
Yung Luv aka Lumo
catch me gliding on the breeze like a frisbee
she’s shaking at her knees when she with me
cuz I’m cool
but ill give her my jacket too

but if i give that girl my jacket
will i get back?
if i give that girl my heart
will she make my heart attack?

If i give her all my love
will i get any back?
Yung Luv’s not just my name
that’s how i want to act
I wanna misbehave
i wanna just relax
I wanna waste my days
on love that won’t last   

at least love that i don’t expect to
cuz ive expected in the past and its been regretful
you know who you are, i still don’t forgive you 
i  can’t forget you

partly cuz you took my jacket and I know that you meant to
now i watch my closet close every time a new girl steps into my bedroom

It’s hard to share anything with anyone,
but I do
cuz I’m cool
and I’ll give her my jacket too

but if i give that girl my jacket
will i get back?
if i give that girl my heart
will she make my heart attack?

If i give her all my love
will i get any back?
Yung Luv’s not just my name
that’s how i want to act
I wanna misbehave
i wanna just relax
I wanna waste my days
on love that won’t last

Heart Attack/Give Me Back My Jacket

HEARTATTACK/GIVEMEBACKMYJACKET

@xam @lil_yung_pharaoh @cxldblxxd

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4Ug4VQPXCGxNfqMIxwh2xd
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/album/bad-thoughts-feat-lil-yung-pharaoh-single/1464634124
YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjjQ49p3xmY

[Verse 1: XAM]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

I’m counting down every minute time is moving so slow
Everything’s in slow-mo, every night feels so long
Where is Dora when I’m lost and I don’t  know where to go
Nobody knows me but they telling me to stay strong

I can’t swim but I’m going for the deep end
I can’t win I’ll be dead by the weekend
I got no flowies on my arms and I’m ‘bout to drown
Tryna hold on but I’m going down guess I’m a dead man

Staring at the ceiling of the ocean
Oh shit, feeling sick too much motion
I don’t sleep but I’m dreaming of emotions
I don’t have, I’m broken - the truth’s been spoken

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

[Chorus: XAM]
I don’t wanna lie, I’m a human and I cry
Myself to sleep at night, there’s a reason I don’t smile
I’m about to tell you why, sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna be alive, I got one life out of nine

[Verse 2: Lil Yung Pharaoh]
I ain't never been happy try to pretend
OD and get high on the weekend
So low I don't even got no friends
Can't swim but I'm headed for the deep end

Got a feeling I won't make it till next year
So you can put a knife through my chest here
I'm a human so it’s natural to shed tears
Living life alone that's my worst fear

And I'll be loving life next day I wanna die
Just to numb the pain I'll get so fucking high
Laying on the couch I can't open up my eyes
First I wanna die but now I love life

And I just want someone to understand me
And yeah I got problems that they can't see
So you can put a knife through my chest now
And Imma lay down to rest now

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

[Chorus: XAM]
I don’t wanna lie, I’m a human and I cry
Myself to sleep at night, there’s a reason I don’t smile
I’m about to tell you why, sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna be alive, I got one life out of nine

BAD THOUGHTS (feat. Lil Yung Pharaoh) [Prod. CXLD BLXXD]

skull design by https://www.instagram.com/thehailing/
prod. @notmorgn

they say you gotta make a change
if you wanna feel better
now i’m pushing weight
bursting out my favorite sweater
fuck the opposition
imma smoke em in a second
yeah I kill time that’s the way
that I spend it
and i don’t wanna die but my brain think different
wanna feel fine but i act so distant
and i don’t wanna doubt but my dreams fictitious
not enough energy to break out the system
wake up with the same mindset
my plate got to much to digest
inspiration too rare to even find it
so i fight my way through the violence
had the dream again
the one you’re screaming in
the one i wake up
still feelings deep within
i’m so sorry
i had to do that
i broke everything
the pieces wouldn’t glue back

my mind insane
i can’t erase
what i have lost
embedded in my brain
stuck up in ways
you told me i’m a waste
and i agree with that
i’m filling up the space

my mind insane
i can’t erase
what i have lost
embedded in my brain
stuck up in ways
you told me i’m a waste
and i agree with that
i’m filling up the space

i’m just here filling up the space
i’m just here filling up the space

my vision 20/20
but my problems aren’t clear to me
im seeking opportunities but 
fuck them up so frequently like
i can’t stop it
i make myself nauseous
i turn a good girl to
a bitch that is toxic
i don’t wanna always do that
just wanna make you happy
if your moods bad
not feeling too good
about the truth myself
but i gotta dust off
what’s on my shelf

my mind insane
i can’t erase
what i have lost
embedded in my brain
stuck up in ways
you told me i’m a waste
and i agree with that
i’m filling up the space

my mind insane
i can’t erase
what i have lost
embedded in my brain
stuck up in ways
you told me i’m a waste
and i agree with that
i’m filling up the space

filling up the space

enjoy. 

prod. (@hkfiftyone2, @traviks, @cxldblxxd)

Lyrics

[HkFiftyOne]

Had too much to say I'll take it in the booth
Spittin flame you know I only speak the truth
Really fuckin hate it when you feelin blue
Used to make me smile but now youre frowning too

Feeling like I'm Oli switch like Majin Buu
Switch it up on beats i rock with Traviks too
I'm still laying bars you know its what I do
Tryna find myself I'm tryna get a clue

I dont wanna know if youre dead or alive
I just wanna get up and move on with my life
Blacking out on pills i sink into the floor
Yeah you said you hate me but i hate you more

[Esxovar]

I don't wanna know if your dead or alive 
I just wanna make my bands, catch you off my surprise
Look into my face, baby into my eyes 
Tell me that what you said was all just lies, yeah

Smoking all this dope on the daily 
Still in love with you that's a maybe
Still care about you, that's a maybe 
Do I still want you, that's a hell nah

I dont fuckin want you, anymore
Took you off the contacts of both my phone 
Poppin all these hydros, I lose control yeah 
I used to be sick you were my antidote 

Said youd never leave, but you left me
Scared of broke hearts, but your breaked me
Now I really hoping that you hate me
Hope the thought of me drives you cazy

Posting all these pics, it don't phaze me 
Blocked you off the gram, I don't wanna see your face b
Used me attention that's your craving
Said it wasint true, but you're faking

I've been really fuckin feeling empty lately
Snorting up the coke to forget you baby
I been doing all these drugs to forget you baby

ihateyoumore w/ hkfiftyone (@travikskun)

Produced and performed by king theta
Vocal mix and master by IOF https://soundcloud.com/iofmusic
Art by Love, Max https://twitter.com/lovemaxofficial

Lyrics:
I
I just wanna feel like I could fly
Give me anything that gets me high
I need you in my life cause
Shit's gonna cave in soon
Why?
Why you gotta say that I'm lyin
I swear to fuckin God I'm doin fine
The power's all mine but
Shit's gonna cave in soon

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

I got everything that I thought I wanted
But it didn't work

She said "lose
The fake personality you use"
Spent too many nights pourin Goose
So easy justifying getting loose
Attention is distraction from the noose
Sorry, not sorry for my ego
The king threw the old me out the window
I know there's no way home

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

Keep fillin me up
With your love and affection
And I'll spill it right out
Call it self-protection

I need to fill the void in my heart
Baby, tell me Ima be a star
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?
I need to turn pain into art
Hate me, so I can stay in the dark
Save me, think I'm gonna fall apart
If I die to I get a fresh start?

Wish I Could Start Over

Lyrics:

Bridge

I've been goin hard on these tracks
Can you see me now?
Blow smoke in my face 
Cuz I never really liked this town
I aint never been the type
That will stop
You can't hold me down
New friends New life
But it never really changed my frown.

Verse

Ya
I never said that it was easy
Ignore the fights always glued to the tv
Only outlet I had was a fantasy
Splitting up it's the weight of the world on me.
Memories I always hate to see
Old friends old faces got me shivering
No more that's the old me
Ya, no way you'll ignore me now

Chorus

No way they'll ignore me no
(No way they'll ignore me no)
There's no way you can hold me down
(There's no way you can hold me down)

Verse 2

I was just a kid
Didn't even know the roof was caving in
Breaking up all the fights it aint easy
Kinda thought i was always the reason
Wait...
I've been going through the ruts everyday
It's a pain
It's always the same it's the way we were raised
Put my thoughts on a page
With the hopes that I'll get there someday.

Memories.

SPOTIFY LINK

1/2 of @prsonprson

EMAIL: XAM.MGMT@GMAIL.COM