xsrvnge

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:

do u remember the things u said?
all those nights u stayed inside my head
do u still read the poems i wrote?
the ones i never meant to post

do u remember how small i looked
when i cried in ur shirt, when my voice just shook?
do u miss the girl u said was “too much”?
or did u just throw away all our love?

i don’t wanna make u feel bad
but it hurts that u never looked back
u kissed me like i was fragile glass
and dropped me like i never had cracks

i still remember the curve of your spine
when u told me “baby, you’re not mine”
i still feel it deep in my chest
how easy it was for you to forget

do u remember the things u said?
all those nights u stayed inside my head
do u still read the poems i wrote?
the ones i never meant to post

do u remember how small i looked
when i cried in ur shirt, when my voice just shook?
do u miss the girl u said was “too much”?
or did u just throw away all our love?

maybe i was just a pause in your story
a soft interlude, a girl u called sorry
but i stayed awake to hear u breathe
and now i can’t sleep without ur grief

they say i should move on and be free
but u haunt my dreams like a melody
u were my prayer, my ache, my plea
u were the one who abandoned me

i won’t take up any more of your time
but if u see this, just know i tried
i gave u pieces i didn’t have to spare
and all i wanted was for u to care

do u remember the things u said?
do u remember the texts i left unread?
do u feel me in your silence too?
do u remember me like i do you?

do u still remember? (prod. yxngxs)

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:

hold my breath
watch the tide take what’s left
what if peace comes after death?
trace my veins, find out myself

cut my ties, float away
salt water hides my face
wish i knew why i stay
when i dream of the grave

waves crash like my thoughts do
quiet screams, nothing new
all the nights i drowned in you
fool me twice, blame me too

all these lights inside my room
look like stars that watch me bruise
kept your secrets in my wounds
and your voice still bleeds right through

(cut my ties, float away)
(salt water hides my face)
(what if peace comes after death?)
trace my veins, find out myself

all these lights inside my room
look like stars that watch me bruise
kept your secrets in my wounds
and your voice still bleeds right through

where’d you go this time?
what if i lose my mind?
what if i make you cry?
what if i end my fucking life?

what if i end my life? (prod. yxngxs)

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:
you said you’d love me clean
but you loved me high
tryna kiss my veins
while i’m sayin’ goodbye

bathroom tiles, cold and white
staring up at neon lights
you hold me tight
but you’re not my life

these pills don’t fix me
but they hush the noise
and your love feels empty
but i got no choice

xannies under my tongue
so i can feel numb
so i can feel gone
from all the shit i’ve done

baby, do you love me still?
when my eyes glaze over still
would you kiss me through the spill?
when i’m drowning in these pills

you trace my scars
like love letters you wrote
whisper “you’re my star”
but i’m starting to float

movie scenes of blood and glass
someone’s screaming, it fades fast
we were perfect, then we cracked
now i’m lost and you’re my past

these pills don’t fix me
but they hush the noise
and your love feels empty
but i got no choice

xannies under my tongue
so i can feel numb
so i can feel gone
from all the shit i’ve done

baby, do you love me still?
when my eyes glaze over still
would you kiss me through the spill?
when i’m drowning in these pills

i see us in a movie frame
two ghosts screaming each other’s names
drugs and love feel just the same
fading out like burning flames

xannies under my tongue
so i can feel numb
so i can feel gone
from everything i’ve become

ur love feels empty (prod. yxngxs)

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:
white walls keep whispering
names i swore i’d forget
mirror shows a ghost of me
stained eyes, silhouette

i leave my letters in the drawer
like secrets sewn into my skin
wonder if you’d even mourn
the girl you couldn’t let in

sometimes i think i’ll leave tonight
fade out soft, no warning sign
i’d sleep like stars behind the rain
and make myself your kurt cobain

silence tastes like blood and pills
numbness cuts so sweet and still
found dead humming songs of you
found dead thinking of—

sometimes i think i’ll leave tonight
fade out soft, no warning sign
i’d sleep like stars behind the rain
and make myself your kurt cobain

don’t look for me in crowded rooms
i’m somewhere lost between my wounds
white noise sings my lullaby
i’ll kiss the world a soft goodbye

kurt cobain (prod. yxngxs)

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:
They told me to live my life (My life)
But I been dyin’ every night
Two pills on the floor by the light
I took both and kissed the sky

My depression gets violent, shots go through my brain (My brain)
Found some pills again, I don’t even know the name (The name)
Took that shit and I collapsed face-first in pain (Pain)
Woke up in my blood, now I’m high again (Again)
She said she hate me but sings all my songs (My songs)
I know that hatred was never that strong (That strong)
They stabbed me so much, now I’m numb and alone
I just laugh now when they hit my phone

Yeah, fuck it, I’m done with emotions
All this trauma turned me into someone broken
Gold tooth still gleamin’ while my mind corroded
And I ain’t get a cake since I turned like, what, eleven?
That’s why every birthday I been plannin' heaven
Mixin' meds with coke, yeah, that shit unhealthy
But I don’t care no more, I’m so self-destructive
Every night I try to die, but the pills don't love me

My depression gets violent, shots go through my brain (Through my brain)
Found some pills again, I don’t even know the name (Know the name)
Took that shit and I collapsed face-first in pain (In pain)
Woke up in my blood, now I’m high again (Again)
She said she hate me but sings all my songs (My songs)
I know that hatred was never that strong (That strong)
They stabbed me so much, now I’m numb and alone
I just laugh now when they hit my phone

Yeah, I know I lost my way
Can’t remember yesterday
Might not see another day
But I still say I’m okay
Yeah, they think I’m just insane
But they never felt this way
All this sadness turned to rage
And now I’m stuck inside my brain

fuck emotions (prod. yxngxs)

Prod. addy exo
go support my homie breck!
https://soundcloud.com/breckenford

Lyrics -

(Swamp)

Do you feel it getting cold everyday 
Crab ya coat get high and let’s escape 
Do you even wanna be here anyway 
If you say no that’s fine cause same 
Ion even wanna talk we out let’s go 
Before the wave comes crashing through this home 
Feel the storm coming soon but 7 fold 
You don’t wanna get caught and left alone no no 

I only give it a couple of weeks 
Until all that we said comes to wither the trees 
Slowly but surely to touch it’ll freeze 
Creature come to ruin all we see 
It fucking sucks it was a masterpiece 
Always dread this part and you say same with me 
Ok it’s almost here quicker than we think 
There’s no looking back 
All that we hads being left in the past 
I feel the tremors itscoming in fast 
Are you prepared for the crash
Surly you couldn’t be ready cause baby you’re barely intact 
Lump in your throat and unable to stand 
And at any moment you’ll shatter like glass 
Ok it’s here don’t be scared grab my hand 

Do you feel it getting cold everyday 
Crab ya coat get high and let’s escape 
Do you even wanna be here anyway 
If you say no that’s fine cause same 
Ion even wanna talk we out let’s go 
Before the wave comes crashing through this home 
Feel the storm coming soon but 7 fold 
You don’t wanna get caught and left alone no no 

(Brecken)

oh no i knew i got too comfortable with their trust
so i keep a distance from
(Im far enough)
white lies riddled in my tongue
tongue tied from everything ive done
WHAT HAVE I done
I dont wanna die when im alone
(BUT HAVE I?)
but everything try they hate i dont
i dont wanna lose the one hope loves me
i know you wanna cry when it gets cold
just please let it go and grab the bowl
it dont matter to me if you face it all

(Swamp) 

Do you feel it getting cold everyday 
Crab ya coat get high and let’s escape 
Do you even wanna be here anyway 
If you say no that’s fine cause same 
Ion even wanna talk we out let’s go 
Before the wave comes crashing through this home 
Feel the storm coming soon but 7 fold 
You don’t wanna get caught and left alone no no

moments before disaster

lyrics

I feel like the dirt
I question my worth
I wear and I tear
My favorite shirt
I hope that I can
She thinks I’m the man
I’m letting her down and
I feel like the worst

No it ain’t safe to say yet
Hung up on yesterday its
Still in my head
I’m sorry 
Hate when I’m so mistaken
Trying to savor faces 
Hoping you don’t replace me
I can do better baby
I can do better maybe

Maybe heavens worth the tests
But fuck, this smith and wesson
Has a way for testing what is next
Swallow my breath
I put the world in my hands
I feel like a mess
But she swears I’m the man
I’m doing my best
At least as well as I can
I barely stand
The fucking shell that I am

The Man (prod. wraithontheporch)

hate it when my feelings creep up like a nightmare
i swear
i aint mean to do it like i did but it was something I could fight for
we have memories that i would die for 100 times over if you let me
1000 lightyears away
but theres still something that im holding
time stops when i see ur face now
i dont wanna see that no more
it only made feel im not worth it
it only made me feel like you were bored
when you talked to me was it something that you wanted
or was it nothing of the sort
all i know is that you slammed me out the door
and ever since being happy been a chore
its not a miracle if i cant make it back to you
And im so sorry that i did just what i had to do
Had to add up to the list i got of bad news
but when you hear it you dont hear it how youre meant to
used to wear me like a life vest
til the excuses came intruding i cant digest
and when its folding over i find a new sidequest
i hope it hold me over until you get my text

i press record and then i take my first sip
im not ignoring you im just tryna fix this mix
im flying off this keef dust like a pixie
im falling down inside the void like are you with me
trust fall
ill give you my all
i could write a song in 20 minutes but in your face i stall
cause finding all the right words too hard
with love from my broken heart
lets live together we could build a house thats right under the stars
swear youre more beautiful now that i know who you are
im all rusted up can you please replace my broken parts
im so fucked up cant cry but if i could id cry a lot
they already know whats good whenever i walk into the spot
me and brecken so high were in outer space like kirk and spock
were just stepping on them like a pair of birkenstocks
we gon get big money like wap
im just trickshotting like cod
should out gray shout out amo
they my brothers let me put you on
wonder where i been for the past few days just sat back rapping smoking runtz
they already know where i be at in the party im quiet sipping mud
i stick to myself i dont feel the same i run from everyone

nothing of the sort (p. under the maple tree)

flip (prod. yxngxs)

PinnacleDust w/kiddamo (Prod. Dello)

Escape Into Light

instagram.com/xsrvnge

lyrics:
i been feelin so sad
feelin so upset
feelin like my life doesn't matter anymore 
nothing really helps
been thinking of suicide
i'm too afraid to die 
i don't really wanna go outside
fuck everybody, ima fuckin hide
i'm all alone
don't have anyone 
i'm so fucking numb
i cry but nobody cares
tried to call but there's nobody there
losing my mind
i'm in despair
don't wanna go
out bad
out sad
hope you remember me
will i even last here?
need another pill
i'm not even 23
i'll die before i can see
hope you remember this
ima be gone like a dream
this is my last note so u can read

hope u remember me [miercoles]

126OhmyGod

Thank you for the kind words🙏

This Lo-Fi mix keeps the melodic motif, but reduces the instrumentation and focuses on the vocals 💞

Originally based on a short story, The Watcher, this song appeared when I wrote the chorus lines...

what if i end my life? (prod. yxngxs)

𝘹𝘴𝘳𝘷𝘯𝘨𝘦*

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