a mental image
——————————
a conclusion <3

lyrics:

dissociation, im disconnected
no sensation, i feel rejected
the situation, never expected
communication, its all neglected

now i dont know what to do
you make it so hard to choose
im tripping over my own shoe
when you talk to me i refuse to respond at all

ill just sit here on my own
(yeah ill never leave this place)
even if i want to go
("who am i even anyway?")
if i cant tell who i am anymore
i dont know how long i can this for

all my memories
are passing before me
its getting hard to see
when my visions so blurry

yeah im feeling insane
yeah im feeling in pain
yeah i feel it in my brain
living in this rain

waiting for all this to end
so done with this reality bend
tell me what i need to comprehend
please catch me before i descend

dissociation, im disconnected
no sensation, i feel rejected
the situation, never expected
communication, its all neglected

-where am i?-
-who am i?-
-you're you-

im staring at a piece of what i used to be
im waiting for something to give me relief
but its not gonna change anything if i cant even think

reach for the sky
-im reaching as high as i can-
"ill be alright"
-when i go back to where i began-
feel like ill die if it dont get time to heal

-is this all even real-

is this all even real
i cant tell
is this all even real

dissociation (me)

2024-5-27
"I'll keep on pushing forward until I find the answer."

https://open.spotify.com/album/2yd9CL8xj25CCtJRkClo8j?si=ihZaJ2KFRamUles_ZFilZw

tysm to @loveismisery for the crazy beat!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

losing my patience
take a step back, heart racing
hold me in your arms, i can't face it
oh oh
running out of time, i can make it
pushing it aside, then we'll take it back

how'd i get this far out of track
hold me close, don't hold me back
and i don't really like that
but i can't change my heart again

i was scared to lose a friend
holding my heart in your hands
and i don't wanna fight back
oh, so just do it all again

(i do it all again)
(turn our hearts to make amends)
(i'm so scared to let this end)
(so i'll do it all again)

so i'll do it all again
(so i do it all again)
i don't wanna fall again
(hold me in your arms, please don't let me go)

hold me down, it's swarming in my head
argue all you want, curse the words i never said, "i love you"
hold on to the tears i couldn't shed
tell them that i'm fine, but it's all up in my head

(lost touch, turned my heart into stone)
(hold me close, don't let me go)
(lately i've felt so alone)
(watching time fly, eyes closed, i've been on my own)

but i can't change my heart again
i was scared to lose a friend
holding my heart in your hands
and i don't wanna fight back
oh, so just do it all again

curse the words i never said
paint a picture on my head
still, i don't want to fight back
oh, so we'll do it all again

again, again, again, again

patience (kyoa)

feat @domerrz + @owtiss
prod @decago


(intro)
i don't wanna lie, i been feeling sad
my heart on the ground, falling once again
i don't wanna lie, i been feeling sad
my heart on the ground, falling once again

(chorus)
put my feelings to the side, they don't matter
trusted you too much, now my heart is shattered
always doing my best but it never works out, nooo  
i don't wanna lie, 
i been feeling sad
my heart on the ground, 
falling once again
i'm just trying to follow my dreams 
until the end i will always believe

(verse dom - @domerrz)
i fall into your lies once again
fool me once now im terrified
my heart will never mend
played my part in your story
you left me i feel dead
you despise me just say it
just tell me its the end

it's like every time 
it's just all my fault
crying once again
what did i do wrong
im ripping up my skin
for you its not enough
but ima play pretend 
dont think i hurt enough

(verse - @owtiss)
ive just had enough
everything is starting again..
n im so tired of love
i dont wna see u again
i think ill fall apart!
when could we ever make amends??
u never cared in the end
i think id rather be dead

every day that passes i get new regrets now
the only time i can reset is when im passed out!!
i wish i could do more than just accept how
our relationship could never be repaired now :(

(chorus)
put my feelings to the side, they don't matter
trusted you too much, now my heart is shattered
always doing my best but it never works out, nooo  
i don't wanna lie, 
i been feeling sad
my heart on the ground, 
falling once again
i'm just trying to follow my dreams 
until the end i will always believe

my fault +dom & owtiss (decago)

produced by @hartfxlt + @1akura
‎ 

new issey miyake on me
im flying with my homies
in japan we making bag yeah yea
why you steady keep calling
i told you i dont want you
so stop wasting my time yeah yea x2

i cant find the meaning for the things that are happening
i been spending all my life tryna feel a thing
but its worthless, i am feeling so hopeless
everything's boring i need some emotions
im still not enough, been trying so hard
was it all a lie, could you tell me why
feel like everyday been the same now 
close my heart let it rest yeah

new issey miyake on me
im flying with my homies
in japan we making bag yeah yea
why you steady keep calling
i told you i dont want you
so stop wasting my time yeah yea x2

‎ 
art by https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/429077

meaning

Spotify!~

meaning (hartfxlt + akura)

@kurse11
i gotta serve my bitch 
i gotta serve my guys
i got dat syrup in my cup now
i got a blur in my eyes
all of my bros gon slide
ion even got no ties
damn im still wit @rans0m
at saks, spend em racks up
ma said pull yo pants up
now dat shit dont matter
im in luv wit bread
im in luv wit batter
she wan giv me head 
damn, im so flattered
fuk y dey hate, cuz im doin better

spin our block, he die still
my lil bro on bars still
im tryna get off Mars still
she wanna hop in my car still
dat a bit still
bullets cant even miss him
walkin around n im keepin dat grip
we shoulda been done did dat
im tryna see dat bit clap
she said i had a big gat
call on my name, i miss dat
im tryna press on yo lips
im tryna tote on grip
bby throw down splits
im gettin blues no crip
s/o my brudda my twin

@k4rson
tell me 1 more time
girl get out my mind
i think u j luv to lie
we should put it all behind us, rewind us
girl yk we're timeless
gave u all of my trust
u used to be my luv
lets put it all behind us

@kurse11
i gotta serve my bitch 
i gotta serve my guys
i got dat syrup in my cup now
i got a blur in my eyes
all of my bros gon slide
ion even got no ties
damn im still wit @rans0m
at saks, spend em racks up
ma said pull yo pants up
now dat shit dont matter
im in luv wit bread
im in luv wit batter
she wan giv me head 
damn, im so flattered
fuk y dey hate, cuz im doin better

flattered w/ karson (xyjae, recyclebin)

@makemeapromise @rpsu

I don't wanna bring u down with problems//
I should go and solve myself, withdrawing 
I hope u can't even really tell, what's causing
me to feel like I'm somebody else, so often x2 

I don't wanna... 
lay wide awake, 
blame my mistakes, 
on my selfish ways,
hate I feel this way. 
take all my pain, wish it all away 
I don't wanna break, u'll just make me break 
I regret I caught ur name, 
I used to love how u think n now I hate ur brain
I feel my heart pound, feel it sink when I see ur face 
I see u cross the room n u don't even see a thing, u don't even see a thing

I don't wanna bring u down with problems//
I should go and solve myself, withdrawing 
I hope u can't even really tell, what's causing
me to feel like I'm somebody else, so often x2 

(lay wide awake x8)

wide awake (surgeon, adrien)

with @o2solus prod @rewind214 love both yall
also im back at college now gg

lyrics:

(xternalz)
everything that i could do
u best believe that
i would lay it all for u
i hope u see that
no matter what we go through
it wont impede that
i could leave u
i never could

still i want to reach out
feel you close to me now
until i fall apart
ur not too far
ur not too far

(o2solus)
dont give up
on me yet
im running on bad luck
and u can see that
i cant find a reason
its losing meaning
im barely breathing
(woah, oh)
havent you done enough
cause I dont know what im waiting on
guide me off
if its what you wanted all along

(xternalz)
everything that i could do
u best believe that
i would lay it all for u
i hope u see that
no matter what we go through
it wont impede that
i could leave u
i never could

still i want to reach out
feel you close to me now
until i fall apart
ur not too far
ur not too far

still i want to reach out
feel you close to me now
until i fall apart
ur not too far
ur not too far

until i fall apart

until i fall apart w/ o2solus (rewind)

@owtiss
@prod_promise
@yashio20k

[coldspades]
girl you love to break my heart in two
do you hate me, tell me was that true?
cause you know im stuck to you like glue
if you listen, tell you something new
find a way out of here
cause now i see it clear
you became everything that i fear
can you break the silence?
i’m tearing my eyelids
your face in my iris,
you’re all that i see

[owtiss]
i cant make an appearance
i just wna stay at my home
be alone!
ur words wear at my soul
made a promise i swear i would hold
on a different day
maybe i could open up again
it depends on u
im with u
its all true!
ill just stay and wait for u ;)