i keep going back to this song, ily teddy <3

teddyboi , heylee manzeron , crizzy white , 333 collective , timeless archives

this is the first beat I bought and the first song I made with jolst :)

lyrics 

painful like a blister
optimism is a sickness
call a liar as ur witness
just to cover up ur tracks
contemplating on my wisdom
do u take the chance n miss em
do u turn around n kiss him
just to validate ur act
but u don't stick to ur bones
there's time to change ur mind n call ur parents n go home
christ, God, put down the phone
binary solarity too hard for u to cope

oh, I'm nothing but a stoner
I'm a deadweight better as a loner
u can cry girl I can be ur shoulder 
I'm alone and I'm only getting colder

my brain has faulty wiring
tryna get undone
the doctors call it bpd
I'm messed up as they come
cause every minor set back 
leaves the feeling of a gun
pressed to my head n then I panic
cause the the chamber to be spun
hey aren't u shamed?
aren't u so n sos ex?
idk maybe I'm just tryna forget
I find it kinda funny that I'm known for my regrets
but the people that uv loved will always try to get revenge
the pain is in my brain n I swear it's gonna last
I'm still got up on the shit that happened to me in my past
disregarding all my feelings cause the time is moving fast
and my friends are placing bets on how long they think ima last
oh I bet that I'll see u in the nighttime 
bad dreams, cracked seams with the red eyes 
my bloods worth less than ur damn time
I'm a corpse tryna fight off these damn flies
oh I already told ya
I won't be sober till some point after October
time flies everyday we gettin older
we grindin hard, we just tryna find some closure

binary solarity (Jolst)

I was missing someone close to me in my life, so I did this song with @yoimn3ver to vent my feelings.

I Cant Sleep Without U(feat. teddyboi) |  [Prod. LDN Calling]

Lyrics:

i think i miss you
or maybe i don't and the whiskeys out
i think i miss you
maybe i do but its hiding down down
below the surface
below the earth crust
this shit's so deserted
predators alerted

miss u (redd)

Until We Hit The Sky | Prod. exbabyfitiluvvv beatz

Produced, Mixed, Mastered by hazenova
ALL PLATFORMS APRIL 10th

Lyrics:
(hazenova)
you dont know me like u think that u do
when its all said and done
i meant nothing to you
you feel make me feel so abused
i feel broken used
and my skins turning blue
oh my skins turning blue

rain rain fuck off dont come again
ive been tryna make it out
tryna make it big
i been tryna talk 
aint no body listening
so u mfs gonna have to hear me sing x2

oh ive been gone for some time
oh ive been wasting my life
on people that dont care if i live or i die

(Epitomeoffailure)
don’t fucking get me started
i’ve been falling apart in the cold damn rain
while you’ve been sitting back watching
it’s kinda funny to me
that you would take the time
to abuse me
over and over again
when it seems to me
that you could be
doing anything
than looking over in my direction
still view you as perfection
and there’s nothing i will do except stare in this gun

Abused (feat. Epitomeoffailure)

You Should Know (malloy x jkei)

Going M.I.A. (Prod. Malloy & Maxflynn)

lyrics

can’t even face me this evening when i shut the door and run
baby this feels wrong 
like everything’s undone
i put down the foot, but all that says is that you’ve won
girl it’s not my brain
yeah it’s u toxic on this one

foggy mirror, a long drive
misty fields, and a grey sky
eyes on glass, as it spitsrain
waters wet, the tears u shed were crocodile

i see yellow lines but not th same thats on th road
we’re in different times its spiralling out of control
u dont share my highs and i jus keep that on th low
its getting cold now girl i gotta go (shoutout shizu)

ill jus pack my backs, no intent of coming back home
we were on a path were i thought u couldn’t break this mould
delusion got th best of me, guess i was never told
it was written in the stars but now its more than cold

cold cold yeah its more than cold
ice shards forming on my arms and i cant feel my toes
hope ur somewhere where the logs ablaze or that of coal
ill be sitting in the outlands where its well below

i hope ur happy as u weren’t before
ill say take care while on hardwood floors
dreams of incoming meteors
oh on my chest i can feel the force

this pressures stronger coz of what u said
depressing stronger than ive ever felt
an old mossed statue
but my heart still melts
deep in th dark forest will u find urself

i see yellow lines but not th same thats on th road
we’re in different times its spiralling out of control
u dont share my highs and i jus keep that on th low
its getting cold now girl i gotta go (shoutout shizux2)

ill jus pack my backs, no intent of coming back home
we were on a path were i thought u couldn’t break this mould
delusion got th best of me, guess i was never told
it was written in the stars but now its more than cold

cold (caves)

self-prod

ibleedicare - https://soundcloud.com/slaughter-tone-records
epitome - https://soundcloud.com/failure404
xipz - https://soundcloud.com/xipz_sad

Encore w/ IBleedicare, epitomeoffailure & lil XipZ

Big thanks to @carlby for being on this one. Mixing this was hard, because no matter what I did, everything I did to my mix made it sound worse. It got to a point where I basically just said "screw it, it's never gonna be good enough, I'm gonna drop it just how it is" so I hope you guys enjoy my suffering xD

Like A Forest Fire(Feat. Carlby) | Prod. HeyRick

jus like you

too much trauma prod. EpicPXC

target

I started writing this a few years back, I finally finished it last night.

Ghxst Collective represent <3

The artwork was done by Annalyce Openshaw

aluxia(i'm still alive)(prod. manzeron)

Cenobite(Prod. Reedkun)

living life for ivy
<333
☆☆☆☆☆
shoutout to crizzy 
heylee , teddy , robstar , popreject and Schmitty ur all fucking insane ⚗️⚗️⚗️


email: teddyboimusic@gmail.com
feats: $50

You Should Know (malloy x jkei)

teddyboi

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