Thank you for listening:)

Produced by secre https://soundcloud.com/prodsecre

Stream: https://share.amuse.io/JsGMDyYoQwft

Lyrics:

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

i don't think i'm doing okay
but i don't have the time or energy in me to face that
instead i tend to run away
find comfort in your face and in your words
and i hate that i
can't seem to go one day
without getting in my own way
i know that i'm the only one to blame
but it's hard to not be able to say that i'm

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

i just need a little more
i think i just need a little more time
but i think i've told you that before
think you've heard that lie
i just need a little more
i think i just need a little more time
but i think i've told you that before
think you've heard that lie

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

a place called home (secre)

i've physically been able to relatively get back into releasing music like this;
recovery has been ridiculously difficult, but i feel lightyears more capable
compared to what once was, and the soul-crushing aspect of not being able to output like this is slowly but truly dissipating.

production; courtesy of @wraithontheporch 

thank you for being here, so much.
be safe out there


ignorance laced from the brain to the lips
"if it ain't worth shit, why wait to be there when it is?"
though belated of light, though faint and estranged,
though strained, no night's that blind
festered and caught in a wind,
silently ridden renewal beginnings
forgiving the spite dealt upon all i am,
i take and refrain for the cycle's expansion

i'll mention the faulty of fate,
when the frame's out of range,
have the soul act in place of a comet
to strike down upon this, enduring the promise,
mistakenly pompous, forsaken and rotten

splurging the truth yet perceived as a cheat;
guttural speech yet sewage conceived;
scour the hour once all has devoured the spirit of tone 
that i currently breathe

i'm ripping the bag,
you could swear i'm a coon with trash, being glad with the leftover meat,
but y'all are facetious to see the extent of believing, 
the moment you feel it impede
few to foresee what'll lie in the wake of a bribe,
for a mind doesn't mold what it reaps from you guys whom die and revive,
to come back as a cry, in the form of a grime with a greed

how you gonna lie when we built for the truth?
"how you gonna try what you ain't wanna prove?"
how you gonna cry outside of the booth?
lost too many times that i've slept life through
i've watched myself slipping back into blue,
i've seen defeat in the form of anew
told out myself that i'm seeing it through
told out myself that it's worth every bruise

feeling it out won't dispel,
alice was simply compelled
the bottom is treating you well,
no wonder we're now so frail;
i could use a light for the trail

scrapwork (wraithontheporch)

Wake Up w/ Brecken

produced by @prod-dash 🖤
mv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEgzoEH60Cg

harmonies construct of her in vain,
when i had felt the same, i wonder what you let slip loose
idolized in holistic refrain from scaring you away,
but it was you who had left so soon
redundancy falls on the floors of insult,
diffusion of awe is now subtle appall
when the fracturing stops, he returns to his lot
and continues to watch the forgotten responses

how long has it really been?
on everything i could've been your confidence;
wounded deep, but regardless you were gorgeous
external forces couldn't conquer this fortress,
girl i was all in,
now i'm more of like a martian,
a foreign entity ignored and made of sport in pure extortion
the score depends on those who force it,
but on my life i'll never pry into this systematic fortune

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

he's licking tears and steeling bones
from baring sights of burning homes
and of the counterparts still present, most have nearly decomposed
the oxygen persists, but the fluids marching in
wreak havoc on the aspens, now his blood is wearing thin
the centuries forgot receive his aching and distraught,
converting portions of distortion into frequencies bewrought
the ice goes in by division of his temperance
sickly to this weather, but she ain't even my medicine

it's two-forty-two as the film rolls into view
i beg your pardon, i'm enshrouded by the memories construed
just anyone won't do,
the comfort causes calluses he's unable to move
they stare at him in twos

the burial becomes attraction, and of the visitors, it's nothing but distraction
come one and all, before root is sawed, the chainsaw, it stops,
he of wooden rot, with that pandora's box, reverse the plot
the acid sat within his stomach summits to his top
begone of influence it's over 'fore it had begun
i'll never feel that same alikeness, they just read me wrong,
just to do me wrong

bare trees conceive cold leaves,
you showed me what we couldn't be
washing over me, frostridden stings
that sole breeze had spoke "don't leave"

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

the paneling glows a familiar sequence,
but it's passage won't open to those who would seek it
through timing and tamper he had managed to enter
unaware of it's contents, he treads a bit deeper
in awe of the contrast from seeker to aether
he's welcomed to stay, but he's covered in shivers
for those it abducts are reduced down to neither
so backwards he goes, where his soul doesn't meet her's

come the night i'm allotted what's divine
i got bugs up in my head,
they always scratching, leaving bites
ain't no energy to waste on those unkind
only time you talkin shit is when you're doing it online

november (dash)

hope u enjoy
prod me:)

stream: https://open.spotify.com/track/4d5T99Alz4yjtsK4rXZQMG?si=0ac39b124ca245e9

lyrics:

follow me out of my mind
if something so simple as passage of time
could rescind the blunders i've made in denial
i'd wait here forever to make things alright
i'm sure that you've noticed erosion in me to my core
how the hell am i sposed to be happy ignored?
guess i'm hoping that most weeks i'll end up at yours
poke my head in the door some more

because it's you that i bleed for
i like to think it means more
i never like to keep score
so tell me if you need more

because it's you that i scream for
it's you i feel diseased for
it's you i threw the key towards
got just what i wanted
yeah i got just what i wanted but
it's you that i scream for

hollowing inside and out
i guess nothing good is meant to stick around
i read what you said now i'm down
can't tell if i'm dead or my head's in the ground
knowing you can see me now is all that really keeps me honest
i've been retreating from the me i think you always wanted
i've been defeated and i think i need a recourse
i could be your resource

because it's you that i bleed for
i like to think it means more
i never like to keep score
so tell me if you need more

because it's you that i scream for
it's you i feel diseased for
it's you i threw the key towards
got just what i wanted
yeah i got just what i wanted but
it's you that i scream for

scream

something a lil sleep token/ brakencey/ sinxi/ deadfishy inspired
obviously


i hear a little whisper between silence on the phone
you say you really miss me, god i hope you really dont
the feelings shattered across somewhere, between the ash and gold
i feel a bit uncomfortable, pretend i really dont

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction


im sure youve heard this song before in every genre
always ranting about something and nobodys bothered
i could try be clever write a double entendre
just for you to listen and not read the lyrics
or maybe i’ll produce something spend ages working on it

-------------just to be compared to every artist that you know ----------------             
                     ===================================
or maybe it’s your fault for listening to everyone and nobody at all
i guess i could be wrong
i guess ill never know
everything’s generic so im reaping what they sow

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

radio silence

Lyrics-

I said I’m fine 
Like fuck ok 
What do you want from me 
I locked myself in here and I don’t want no company 
The silent sense of solitude was kinda comforting 
The end is just outside 
This time I feel that it has come for me 

 I just  can’t escape 
All of the calamity thrown in my face 
Shit I got enough on my plate 
But i eat it up and dont leave non to waste 
And honestly id rather rot in this hell
Than ever step foot inch’s out of my shell
Im comfortable here as if you couldn’t tell 
Now I’m getting tired of repeating myself 

I said I’m fine 
Like fuck ok 
What do you want from me 
I locked myself in here and I don’t want no company 
The silent sense of solitude was kinda comforting 
The end is just outside 
This time I feel that it has come for me

calamity p. wraithontheporch

prod by icantsleeplol & hvci
mixed and mastered by icantsleeplol & hvci

thank u @hvci for helping me with some of the layers to help my vocals more impactful ♡ 

and ofc w/ @xav0id

(i’m experimenting with my vocals and my voice in general to see what it’s capable of. i don’t wanna be limited to one genre. i wanna push past my comfort zone and explore different sounds with my voice)

enjoy:)

lyrics:

@icantsleeplol -
they asked me to smile
so i did
now i can’t tell when i actually mean it

i learned to read the room too well
picked up their moods, and forgot myself
said the lines they’d rather hear
kept my truth in second gear

they liked me better watered down
so i kept my head and voice low-bound
never asked them what they meant
just played the part and paid the rent

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
they never wanted all of me
just the version they could keep clean
so i edited my every thought
to fit inside the mold they bought

@icantsleeplol -
empty tent, the lights still burn
but no one waits for my return
they loved the laugh, not the cost
they clapped so loud, i got lost

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
empty tent, applause fades quick
left alone with what won't fix
i give and give, then disappear
while no one even shifts their ear

@icantsleeplol -
i swallowed pride and played polite
convinced myself it felt alright
but every nod, every demand
left another thing i couldn't stand

i tried to slow the spinning down
but silence just became more loud
i gave too much and asked too little
and broke apart right down the middle

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
they smiled, so i assumed it worked
but underneath, it always hurt
and though i tried to keep it smooth
the pressure cracked the parts i moved
 
@xav0id -
empty tent, still looks the same
but i don’t walk out how i came
they called it charm, called it grace
but missed the tremble in my face

empty tent, the echo's mean
i’m still stuck on what they’ve seen
if this was love, or just a guess
why did i fall apart to impress?

@icantsleeplol w/ @xav0id
i’ve memorized what pleases them
but not what brings me back again
i dance around their fragile moods
and call it kindness as i lose

they say i’m calm, they say i’m nice
but only when i pay the price
and every time i try to breathe
i wonder what they’d let me keep

@xav0id - 
empty tent, lights flicker slow
no one left to tell me “go”
but i still bow, still play it cool
still scared of not fitting the rule

empty tent, just me and air
i gave too much, and no one cared
the quiet hits a little late...
but louder than the love they faked

i’m still here
they just forgot
and that’s the part
that hurts the most

empty tent w/ xav0id & hvci

prod by stezzyxl and hvct
(mostly hvci song tbh, he don’t got a sc n don’t rlly wanna be tagged, i tried to get him to drop music but he just don’t wanna force it rn :(

lyrics:

@xav0id
l-l-loading...
u broke it... again...
uh my heart’s not a server u can crash...

@hvci
i’m a pixelated prince in a broken arcade
zero bars no signal just static n shade
got a firewall heart but u hacked thru the frame
crash log got ur name printed insane

late night texts glitchin in my head
“i luv u” 404 thats dead
press x to heal but screen stay red
can’t reboot this love so instead

data’s corrupted feelings eruptin
every "4ever" got a timer function
spiralin out in some neon concussion
can’t debug when ur code self destructin

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
i’m on a sugar crash, breakin like glass
u ghost like a popup, gone in a flash
hyperdrive heart but it’s runnin on ash
love.exe error lol it’ll never last

spin me like vinyl, glitch me apart
drop ur candy coated lies wrapped up in art
u my highscore, my virus, my spark
but this game end w a broken heart

@icantsleeplol
u talk in caps lock feel in lowercase
digital kisses but they dont translate
dm dreams on a red eye haze
but signal fades when feelings ain’t safe

@hvci
real lifes blurry, pixels arent clean
u was sugar sweet now u saccharine
cyberpunk love in a dopamine scene
but now u logged off, out of my screen

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
can’t ctrl z the pain i felt
can’t mute the sound of someone else
just me and the static, the loops, the melt
replayin what we never dealt

@hvci
u said forever but u froze
re-re-restart?? i dont know
broken bytes crashin slow
glitch in my soul, overflow woah

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
i’m on a sugar crash, breakin like glass
u ghost like a popup, gone in a flash
hyperdrive heart but it’s runnin on ash
love.exe error lol, it will never last

u can spin me like vinyl, glitch me apart
candy coated lies wrapped up as art
u are my highscore, my virus, my spark
but this game ends with a broken heart

@hvci
u were never real... just a render

@xav0id
u were never real

love.exe w/hvci & xav0id

everything reproduced by me
original song credits towards my dear friend jude (@sleepywater)


i miss you so much bro; love you, forever.

sleepwater - tomorrow (cover)

All I Tried Was Love is a heartfelt country ballad that tells the story of giving everything you have to a relationship, only to be met with misunderstanding and rejection. It’s about the pain of being seen as something you’re not, when all you ever tried to give was genuine love.

I wrote this song as a reflection of my own experiences moments where I poured my heart into love and was left questioning if it was ever enough. It’s not just about heartbreak, but about resilience, honesty, and staying true to yourself when love isn’t returned the way you hoped. This song is a reminder that even in brokenness, there is strength in knowing your intentions were pure.

All I Tried Was Love

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

a place called home (secre)

Yokai Dreams