stop the play

11/26/24

angel_boy (prod.Lathan)

prod hiraeth
just trying things, sorry if not best

is this as bad as before?
laid out on the floor
how can you claim you wanna know
with all my messages ignored

i don’t think you really understand
i told you alr we wont last
told me where i cut it’s getting bad
but i don’t care,
you wish i never had

fucked up got my head in my hands
i won’t love, you get it all on-demand
no thoughts, running dry like the sand
don’t leave ur all i have

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

leave me alone
i don’t wanna try but ur arguing
i have anxiety
they’re watching me
I’m tryna quit
you don’t really know me
feel like im nothing but misery
I’m tryna find a way to block out what you did to me
you can call me useless
least i had a fucking ounce of trust
let go of everyone
I’m struggling to give you up
you don’t really want me
i had everything and fucked it up
is this a sign that i should stop pretending how to love

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

start of the end

s/o to Kidd Amo https://www.instagram.com/kiddamo/

lyrics

i just wanna sleep all day n never wake up
n i think i like ur face without the makeup
these cold winter nights when like everythings down
reminds me the time when u left me in the ground
n i never thought that id let my people down
i wish i could say that u figured me out

i dont wanna live fast no more its complicated
i dont even laugh no more n i hate it
baby let me drink some more n ill explain it
just wipe my head let me erase it

i was filled with stress n paranoia that u wouldnt stay
i shouldve listen to my gut i shouldve known that u would change
she started changing n transforming i cant call her the same name
ur feelings complicated n im still the one you blame
from not that long we fell in love, n wrote each other songs
when i was with you i felt like i was right where i belong
n now i couldnt tell u how much i was wrong
how much that i was wrong
i dont wanna feel no more im hurting daily
i turned to the drugs knowing they cant save me

i dont wanna live fast no more its complicated
i dont even laugh no more n i hate it
baby let me drink some more n ill explain it
just wipe my head let me erase it

(just wipe my head let me erase it)
(i dont wanna feel no more, dont wanna do these drugs no more)

its complicated feat. Kidd Amo (prod. dead spyro x 2001)

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

lyrics -
hard to think there's no way, incredible
you had him take my place
then one of you
tried to drag my name so i wanna know
what part u had to play cos' i'm sick of u

and it's funny cos' i think you've gone and lost it
got your hand on the button saying 'watch this'
and my hand's under the table as i hear you
staring as i came into the room but i don't see you

why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?
why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?

S.O.S i caved
but i'm still alive barely
tried to beat the struggle but got lost along the way
went too far alone, no rest 
and took it on myself to prove the dark would coat the day
hard to show love most days
no compassion from my friends
but i love that i pulled through
never know for certain
but i'm glad that i'll be home soon

scared to death of life i'll
battle through the pain and kick it off so
don't you ever worry i'm okay, love
cos' i don't really care no not at all though
stick a sword straight through me, watch me bleed out
i won't say a word i'll make you feel that
this moment that we're in will never end
a new life for us will grow
begin

freeze baby, put your hands to your head
'this is love?' she said
i don't get this or the conversation
i ain't good with stress
i can't clean the mess you left
great now it's complicated
just put the gun away, love
there's no time to fight me, we'll figure you out
take my hand and slowly we'll figure this out

i could steal my heart right back
give me fuckin credit cos' i'm loving all that
trauma that you're giving when you're thinking too fast
take another pill i'm sure it'll slow u down

~ fear

Produced by @leftquiet and me :) 
Out on Spotify :P

who are we 
to some degree
everything I touch Will break 

These things I think 
I shouldn't blink 
Death might be the only way 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain

CRAWL

self prod
guitar by hiraeth
<3


in ur own ways
tell me where u stand
no. its not 2 faced
dont understand
is all that you take
left the way u found it? 
now this i cant shake
not this, i doubt it

Maybe on a different day
You’d have been nice to me
Maybe in some different ways
U formed apologies
If the weather was a different type 
Would u still be with me?
Cloudy, with seafret in sight 
Does that mean anything?
its the way that you are
i thought you loved that i hated myself, not to mention
my critiques are poor
theres nothing left in this hollow, ashen and hes tarnished
to
no ones support
i probably could do more
baby watch me fumble, every chance i get in love
im
cutting down my line
is that what you planned for my life ?
its clearly out of spite, youve done it 3 or 4 more times

shake w/ hiraeth

prod me <3

lyrics:

i took a shot in the dark
guess that i missed but i want u to know that
i didn't mean any harm
i can't admit that i wanna be noticed
i don't think i have a heart
but you did
and i lost that
and he got that
and like so far
like nobody comes even close yet

guess that i'm back at the start for now
it's getting so dark out
i'm heading home all alone
for the 90th time in a row
it's a pattern now
had it all planned out
guess that i better start tearing it down
u never smiled like that with me
ur better off that i left town

wishing the best for the two of you
ache in my chest from a newer bruise
give it a rest, what the fuck am i supposed to do?
world around me a bluer hue
knowing that you found somebody who
you could love a little more
i guess that's nothing new

i took a shot in the dark
guess that i missed but i want u to know that
i didn't mean any harm
i can't admit that i wanna be noticed
i don't think i have a heart
but you did
and i lost that
and he got that
and like so far
like nobody comes even close yet

a shot in the dark

lyrics

wake up with my eyes still sore
i miss blowing smoke off the balcony on the fourth floor
i been tryna open up she said im a closed door
and she still tryna figure out what i been smoking for
bae i think is for the best if you let this run its course
yea cuz everything has a purpose and im safe i swore
that id keep myself away from harm no matter what
even if its not what i want
told myself that id protect you from all pain
even if thats me sometimes
im stepping through mines
you dont like the person laying next to you right now
baby you dont gotta lie
but i love you id give up anything for you
that includes getting high
i could die right now in the place im in
with my head rested on your thigh
right here where i lie
im drowning trapped under ice
and her soft words become a foreign language
this time of night
and her butterflies turn to pure anguish
when i have to say goodbye
you really are my best friend
ill love you till i die
and ill love you till the very end
but im just happy you're here for the ride

cuz those lazy days dont feel so lazy at all
with you and my friends here i promise that i wont fall
turn the beer into a natural disaster make a tornado waterfall
but still you aint picking my calls up
cuz i aint been sober in a while
me and this drink like best friends
but he hates me im just in denial
remember back in the day
in the back of the car i was smoking on white owls
yea im a night owl
i just need a night out
think i just need a quick break so this cigarette feel like a timeout
maybe i just need to lie down
or maybe i just need to go outside
but this blunt knock me out like a takedown
you gotta crouch down just to see my eyes
she really want to know where i am now
maybe ill come see you if i got time
and i really wish i couldve been your lighthouse
maybe i did help you in different life
i really cant tell where i am now
but grey smoke covers up purple skies
and even when the studio close down
ill still love you till the day i
oh i cry blood
i cry tears of joy
i cry tears for you

wake up with my eyes still sore
i miss blowing smoke off the balcony on the fourth floor
i been tryna open up she said im a closed door
and she still tryna figure out what i been smoking for
bae i think its for the best if you let this run its course

my best friend (jacob vallen)

lyrics
i just need one reply
forgot how much i smoked and now im too high
i go out back to smoke and make my lungs cry
need a new picture for the song im looking to the sky
im outside just taking pictures of the fucking sky
she want me to tell her im not like other guys
truth is baby im just like those other guys
everytime i let you down
youre like this happens every time
i wont lie

nine shots
yea thats nine to much for a monday night
i work hard and dont pick up so we can be alright
everything i love just slips away
thats why i hold u tight
im not that good with my words
so excuse me while i write
just took ten hits off this bowl
feel like i just got a strike
whats the reason you dont like me
its not on sight its unsightly
she said all this shit is unlike me

you said that you wanna see the right
me im sorry but my life is like a light beam
its way too fast you can see it for a second like its lighting
when i change the subject oh it gets so frightening
and then you wonder why theres so much in my life im hiding
everybody thinks the stuff they think so uninviting
and i cant even try my best they think that im not trying
and i cant take it when they think that i been lying
now days got my heart vacant hear it when im sighing
why u wrote me up a ticket idk what i am signing
maybe if i fix it then youll come around to like me
and if not then ill run away and ill find peace
i been tryin hard to fix it up with everything i got
its been goin wrong lemme take another shot
missin every shot but gettin closer to spot
now yea im locked down

nine shots
yea thats nine to much for a monday night
i work hard and dont pick up so we can be alright
everything i love just slips away
thats why i hold u tight
im not that good with my words
so excuse me while i write
just took ten hits off this bowl
feel like i just got a strike
whats the reason you dont like me
its not on sight its unsightly
she said all this shit is unlike me

monday night w/ brecken (p. under the maple tree)

lyrics

stay, dont break
i know you cant see my face but im tearing up
i just poured some deadly in my cup
i hope before i die i figure out if ur the one cuz

life moves fast
ready or not
i cant go to college sorry mom theres money to be got
and ill get a lot
i hope you know a songs coming out of every shot
all these shots
i hope i break the bank before she break my heart
and i hope we can rebuild from where we last left off
instead of going back to the start
me and you came so far we cant see the start
baby just look at the stars
ill put them inside of a car
she said i look distracted
i look at you
"bae i dont know where we are"
i want this everlasting
love thats true
but i cant feel my heart

said its my first drink this week
she mad it just turned sunday
im rolling some shit look like bayleaf
think you should come over to my place
dont know why you stressing out
baby you got all my love
ill pour some liquor out
this shit made my brain turn numb
i still smoke a lot but im smoking less than last year
i dont talk a lot cuz im rapping more this past year
she said i have a way with my words
trying my best but im feeling the worst
i see the crows and i know its a curse
i see the crows and i know its an omen
my body young but i drink like an old man
they think im lame cuz i rap bout emotions
i made a wave now theyre sick from the motion
seasick just throwing up in the ocean
you can call me if you need it
ill be here just sipping potions

stay, dont break
i know you cant see my face but im tearing up
i just poured some deadly in my cup
i hope before i die i figure out this shit cuz

life moves fast
ready or not
i cant go to college sorry mom theres money to be got
and ill get a lot
i hope you know a songs coming out of every shot
all these shots
i hope i break the bank before she break my heart
and i hope we can rebuild from where we last left off
instead of going back to the start
me and you came so far we cant see the start
baby just look at the stars
ill put them inside of a car
she said i look distracted
i look at you
"bae i dont know where we are"
i want this everlasting
love thats true
but i cant feel my heart

everlasting (p. under the maple tree)

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

a shot in the dark

Yokai Dreams